I came back~ please help me

Well I have done this many times before and I am back to try again. My biggest issue is a am a stress eater and my stress is out of control. I am at my highest weight in a long time ( about 10 years) and I am determined to get it back off, for good.

I am desperatley searching for a friend who can help me. I am married with two great kids and a wonderful husband but I am very lonely. I live in a  place I can't stand and I know no one, except the people I work with and they are all teenage girls.  

If you are loosing weight and have the timem to be a friend let me know, I'd LOVE to have soemone to talk to and support me.

this is why I quit! Not one person responded

I willbe alone forever

 

Hello,

I'm fairly new to the Forum and this computer diet, but I'm having success and that's all I can ask for.  This is the area where I haven't been too successful.  I forget to check in to see how others are doing, unless I really need a friend.  Maybe that's not the way to work this program.  We need all the help we can get.

I'm sorry you live in a place you hate.  I'm lucky there, since after 20 years in the military with my husband and 18 different moves, we finally found a place we both could be happy with.  Also, my kids are grown now, but those grandbabies do keep me busy. I think what you need is a plan!!!!  Set up a schedual daily, for special time for you to do something you love.  Then a time for you and the kids to do something fun.  Even taking a walk is fun for the kids and oh, you do have fun at a playground.  Also, make a promise, to join a church group, community event where you can meet people your own age.  They are out there, you just have to look.  Lastly, take a look at your weekly schedual, and plan a special family time with all of you, husband and wife doing something different.  And then plan for another day or night where you don't have to do anything but something you want to do alone.  Go to the library, catch a bible study, go to a gym, pool etc. or just catch a romantic movie your hubby would hate.  Invite a friend or neighbor to go with you if you don't want to be alone.  Time away from the kids is all improtant.  Hang in there, and If you want, I'll try to be here for you, if you'll do the same for me.  I so understand how you feel.  My husband spent nearly 5 total years away from us, while completing his military service.  It can be very lonely out there with out a plan.  This time, experience can help.

God Bless and hang in there.

Thanks for your kind words and ideas, my kids are too big for playgrounds (11 and 15) and I work full time. I work different hours than my hubby so we never get time together unless we are asleep.

We are not church going folk living in the Bible belt so unfortuantely we have no friends, becasue here it is all about what church you atttend. But I respect your decisions. My husband has a couple friends at work but he is actually starting a new job in a week and I work with all teenagers, ( I manage a retail store)

I am just grateful that someone responded, it makes me feel less alone ! Thanks so much !

These forms are funny like that - the silliest post gets 47 responses, and the legit ones for help and advice get none or a few sometimes!  I just don't get it.

I am sorry that you live in a place that you can't relate to people.  I couldn't imagine being surrounded by the religious as I'm not religious myself, either.  I think this website can be a great way to connect with people since you can't relate to the bible thumpers in your neighborhood.  Start reading the forms, journals, leave comments to people, write emails to people that have been successful and ask them to share their story with you.

I'm a stress eater, a happy eater, a sad eater... my emotions totally propel my eating habits... I'm aware of it and I really, really, really try to focus on the fact that I know I want to eat because of the way I feel. I am really working on on trying to tell the difference between being hungry and just wanting to eat.

Do you do any food journals? It really helps. Write down everything you eat, but also how you felt when you ate it.

Man, do I know how you feel.  I have wrote things in forum and have only ever got one response.  My first post never received any attention.  I initially wrote an excited couple of paragraphs. A week later, I edited it down to something more simple and less enthusiastic, nothing.  Then edited it down again to two sentences and still nothing.  I wished that I could delete it because I felt ignored, but I couldn't.  I just went back and looked at it and posted a reply to it so it wouldn't be alone.

Trust me, you are not alone. What I have determined is that I didn't need all these lovely prolific writers to give me the attention I was hoping for, so I spend all my time in my own journal and reading my mother's and replying to it.  Lot's of gratification there.  Keep your chin up, you have a friend. Cheers!

I used to eat when I was stressed or bored, and probably just plain ate too much.  I have been really watching myself and trying to learn better eating habits for about 9 months now.  Progress is slow, weight loss is slow, but I am getting there.  I feel so much better than I did when I started this.  I would be happy to encourage anyone who wants to adopt a more healthy life style.  Feel free to add me as a friend and we will chat. 

Hi Spartanbear.

I dont usually post on this site, but I use the food & weight log. Just happened to notice your thread! I agree, its odd how people will reply to 'how many calories are in this biscuit' and yet not reply to someone who describes themselves as lonely!

I looked at your photos - you looked fantastic!! Im sure you can get back to that weight - you sound determined to do it. I guess you live in America hope the weathers better than it is here. (South London pee-ing down all day- thats our summer).  I have two girls - 12 and 15 - just starting to do their own thing.  I miss taking them to the playground, swimming and stuff.  Seems like me and my husband are here to taxi them about and top up their bank cards! I work full time too, so I appreciate how difficult it can be to keep all those balls in the air.

Weight wise, Im not a stress eater - if I get stressed I stop eating! Not much help Im afraid. Ive never been overweight - my weight fluctuates by half stone up and down. As soon as I hit 11 stone I  start cutting down back to 10 and half, etc etc. As a result have been watching my diet for last 20 years!!

Good luck starting your new weight loss programme. Will check out how youre doing soon.

Hi...I am in the same boat.  I eat for anything and everything...mostly stress and I have a ton of it right now.  I began really giving it my "all" on Monday...and I am on Day 4...but it is tough...I also joined a gym to get my exercise but I hate doing it alone.  I need the motivation and the support...and the understanding when I have a bad day...

You are not alone...and I am home right now every day...I will check in with you...see how you are doing...keep you going when you are struggling...I need the same thing.

How are you doing so far? 

My stepson is getting married next year...so that is my motivation...to lose weight so that I can buy something pretty for the wedding without everyone wondering why my husband married a slob...lol...good motivation for me...

You can do this!  And try to remember a success each day...it might be a smile from someone...a good day at work...it does not always have to be about food and exercise to be a success! 

Hi Spartanbear. I noticed on your profile that you live in TN.  You said that you move a lot so that could be a 'used to live'.  If you still do where in TN?  I'm north of Nashville @ 20 mins.  Just came back from Houston/LA and don't know a soul!  Even though I grew up here-but that was a long time ago!!!

Let me know if you're anywhere close!

 

I'm excited we're going to do this together CA! I e-mailed ya!

Hi Spartanbear, and healthybmi, I'm not really new to cc. I've just never been on the motivation site. Here something interesting, I need motivation Now! I went and saw a dietitian yesterday and go back again Friday and then once a week from there to drop some of this weight because my health is really suffering now. I came to the motivation site and I find 2  from TN.  I live in clarksville. Healthybmi your probably within acouple hrs. We can have our tn. support group and maybe one day meet somewhere , ( maybe Orpy mills mall , that would be cool.   I will add both of you to my friend list if you don't mind.  So glad to find you both. I've lived in Tn. for 14 yrs now. I still fly home to PA. twice a year. Tori.

Forums are a fickle thing. I respond to a decent amount of forum messages when I'm logged in, since I don't have much to do at work, and I spend alot of time reading. Sadly, many people don't want to have conversations very much. I think ive "trolled" the forums for a month or so because I enjoy some of the stories people have(some people are wicked motivating), and I can't say I have found any friends that I talk to on a regular basis either. Im pretty self motivated so I guess I have that going for me. :/

I started a PA thread a while ago, in hopes of finding some cool people to talk too but to no avail :P.

Anyways, if you need some extra support arond, Im usually around for hours a day (yea working as an intern can get really, really boring). :)  Feel free to give a shout out anytime :P

Hi spartanbear hope you ar doing okay today - how many calories you on? Did you manage to stick to it?

PS. what n where is TN and PA??

Original Post by jennie186:

Hi spartanbear hope you ar doing okay today - how many calories you on? Did you manage to stick to it?

PS. what n where is TN and PA??

 Jennie, TN=Tennessee and PA= Pennsylvania.  2 states in the States.

Spartanbear,

How are you doing?  I browse the forums and try to reply here and there but spend a lot of time in the journals.  They're a little safer.  Lol  Anytime you are bored, need a shoulder, or just want to gab I'm on here most days.  I've been pretty successful so far in my weight loss journey and am a fairly motivitating person.  Of course I do have my days too.    I'd be more than happy to chat with you anytime!!!

Val

Spartanbear,

I am new here too and am looking for a buddy.  I live in NW Ga  (Rome to be exact) it's just about an hour away from Chattanooga.  that maybe close to where you are and if not, it doesn't really matter, the internet brings us together.  feel free to send me a message if you want or add me as your friend.  we need as much support as we can get if we are going to beat this thing!

hope to hear from you soon!

I am still in Tn but in the Mempis area. Thanks for the kind words to all of you I feel a little less alone now.

Hi Girl, how's it going? I got your email and cant' believe we live 3 hrs. away from each other.  Hope your day is going well.

hi spartan bear - thanks for adding me as a friend. Have done the same although Im not very good at this.  Ive had quite a good week - the sun is shining at last.    Thanks to Valsgoal - you must think me a right dim wit. Geography never was my strong point - id be hard pushed to tell you where america is on a map - let alone TN :) .  Didnt loose any weight this week, but am not down spirited as my scales are pretty crappy and I feel thinner.  I do love friday & saturday nights though, so I dont calorie count those evenings.  I think 80/20 is the way to go - be good 80% of the time - that way I dont get fed up or feel hard done by.

Did you have a good week at work? Although im in my 40s, Im about the youngest in my office which is great - Id hate to be stuck all day with a load of teenagers wittering on about their boyfriends!!  Ive got one of thos at home (no- not boyfriend - a teenager). Only joking - Im sure theyre all really nice although it is hard to be a manager!!  Keep in touch XX 

Hey, you still here? How's it going?