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I cant do this anymore.

I cant live like this.... i cant stand myself being a failure at this weight. i binged my way up 10 lbs. I cant live in my ED head, i cant do it anymore. I cant live with myself... binge, (recently purgeing), restrict, start again.

The cycle never ends.

Hey, you're not the only one on here who feels like this. In fact, that is probably the reason this ite exists! First of all, what are your stats? And how much do you aim to eat normally? What are your goals? Just tell me and I'll see how I can help. :)

You CAN do this. Hang in there!

Im 5'10, 130 lbs. Up from 112. I want to desparately get back down and get control of myself. Ive been trying to eat 1500 and burn 500 through exercise, im 17 years old. 

Thanks :)

I've dealt with an ED since I was 14, I'm now 23 and though I don't think you'll ever be ED free, you can bypass it. I am. I'm losing weight gradually (1-3 pounds a week at least), I'm eating enough to meet my hunger. I haven't binged or purged in more than 5 months.  I can't tell you this is the end all solution, but I can tell you what worked for me, and hopefully some of it will help you.

ED is in your head, not your body. There is nothing in your body that gives you an ED. You need to identify what triggers your ED, what influences it, and remove that from your life, or at least be aware that this is dangerous to you and avoid it as much as possible. Try to look at it like problem solving - yes, this affects me, now is it really that important? In my case, I was a skating in a competitive synchonized skating team - everyone was dressed the same, everyone was done the same - and I stood out of everyone because I was somewhat overweight. The pressure of it, the glances at the not-skin and bones skater, the whole competition in that world caused me to develop an ED. My father's comments, other people's comments. It was all making things worse.

I have stopped skating since then, which solved my main issue - but the ED mentality remained, because there was still a trigger somewhere. I rapidly gained weight from binging (and purging), ballooning at 265 pounds (from 165 pounds when I graduated high school). It had to stop. So I talked with my dad and told him what his comments were doing, I started considering weither what other people thought REALLY mattered. I started thinking about what I really want to be. Do I want to fit in, or do I want to be healthy? I want to be healthy. Do I want to be thin NOW, or do I want to be thin and healthy for the rest of my life? For the rest of my life.

Rest of your life means life changes. It means to stop looking at food as emotional and looking at it for what it is - fuel. It fuels your body. Your body is your temple. Workout should be about losing calories. It should be about challenging yourself and rewarding yourself with taking care of what the most precious thing you have is - your body.

I've lost a ton of weight in quick spurst before - 20 pounds in two weeks - only to gain it back all over again. But I've never felt this good in my whole life, even when I was much thinner. Stop thinking about restricting yourself, start thinking about rewarding yourself. And rewarding yourself is being healthier.

Hon, you're being a little hard on yourself.  We've all done things that aren't healthy and we've all felt guilty for it.  You have to forgive yourself for the bad behavior and take it one day at a time.  No one said anything in life is easy, but it can be easier if you're not so hard on yourself.  You have to forgive yourself first, then you can move on to better things.  Its really ok to mess up - what matters is how you react to it and what you do about it. 

Tell me more about yourself.  Give me 3 things that you would like for me to know about you that are not negative. 

Tanlon75

Wow when you were 112 you must have been really thin. In fact (I know that NOBODY wants to hear this, including me) I must admit that 112 is very low. Too low. I would aim for around 123 at first, and then see how you feel at that weight before you go any further.

How much do you work out? It is important that you as accurate as possible when measuring your physical activity, because this plays a major role in weight loss.

Also, you said you "burn" 500 a day at 1500...hmm...then why arent you losing weight? This may sound SO contradictory, but you need to up your cals in order to lose any more. Why? Because your metabolism has gotten used to that number and is holding onto fat. Ever heard of "starvation mode?"

Sorry I have so many questions, but it will give me a more accurate picture once you answer them. OK, why did you binge and how long did it take you to get to 130? What have you been doing to try and lose those pounds? Have you lost any so far?

Oh and about upping the calories, here's a question I posted about this:

http://caloriecount.about.com/upping-calories -ft130234

Again, sorry is I seem like I'm stalling, but this info is necessary. :)

Original Post by liveyourlife101:

Im 5'10, 130 lbs. Up from 112. I want to desparately get back down and get control of myself. Ive been trying to eat 1500 and burn 500 through exercise, im 17 years old. 

Thanks :)

 One more thing - I just thought I would tell you that at 5'10" and 130 pounds, you must look wonderful.  I am 5'3" and I weigh 178, down from 187.  My goal is to be 135 lbs.  I am 36 years old.  At 17 years old, you probably have a body that other girls envy.  I know you probably think differently, but honestly - you have the #'s for a fabulous figure but that's just my opinion. 

Being 17,  5'10, 133 pounds means your BMI is 19 on the BMI scale for children and adolescents. That's the lower end of the healthy bracket,  it means that if you lose weight, you'll be underweight and unhealthy - especially if you go down to 112, which will give you a BMI of 16. You shouldn't lose weight.

Now, if you don't like the way your body looks, that's totally different. You can be thin, but still unhealthy - you need muscles to tone your body - muscle will replace fat - you'll weight the same, but they will make your body look much better. Now tell me, what matters most - the number on the scale, or the way your jeans fit? A toned body will make all the clothes fit better.

Liveyourlife, you need to go to your doctor and your hospital and ask for treatment. Calorie Count will not help you in getting down to a low weight and does not condone unhealthy behaviours. Purging can KILL you, even just the once and even if you've done it in the past. It can throw off your electrolytes, which leads to cardiac arrest and other complications (if the cardiac arrest isn't enough). Go to your doctor and ask because you're clearly not in a healthy mindset.

Furthermore, whether you're being serious about it or not, suicide is an extremely serious issue - it's frightening and traumatic for anyone who has a friend or loved one involved with it or with suicide attempts. If you have suicidal thoughts, the most important step you can take is to talk to someone about it. Either a medical professional or a trusted person in your family, school or organization.

If you don't know who to talk to, please call 1-800-784-2433, or Befrienders Worldwide
http://www.befrienders.org/
To quote directly from their website: "We work worldwide to provide emotional support, and reduce suicide. We listen to people who are in distress. We don't judge them or tell them what to do - we listen."
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This post is being locked and we strongly encourage anyone who needs help to seek it from an appropriate professional.

I didnt mean to act "pro-ana/mia" at all as i am so against it, its just how i feel. Im certrainly in NO WAY asking for help lowering my weight.. i should have phrased it differently, im just in need of support from people who have lived through this.

In my opinion, this website in itself is a lifesaver with everyone being so wonderful and understanding, so thank you all!