I really can't do it

despite not skipping meal, even when I'm not hungry, eating on schedule, eating more, I cannot stop thinking about food and then act upon it, which is shoving junk food in my mouth.  I really think I have an addiction to chocolate chip cookies in fact.  One is never enough and same goes for chips of any kind. I really think it's psychological more than 'your body's crying out for more food because you don't eat enough' or 'your body is lacking in nutrients' so you don't need to tell me that. 

but what I need to know is how can I stop thinking about my cravings?  How can I reason with my self and calm my mind down?  I seriously have a lot of weight to lose and all I've been doing instead is gaining. 

Where do you get the chocolate chip cookies and chips from?....  If there are foods you can't stop at just one, the really simple answer is to not have them around.  (100 cal packs are not an option)  We all have foods like that.... mine would be a packet of salted peanuts!  It wouldn't last 5 minutes once opend.   Rather than chastising yourself for being unable to resist, accusing yourself of being weak-willed, having cravings or psychological problems, simply don't buy them.   Skirt round the cookies and chips aisles in the supermarket completely or send someone else shopping.   If it's not there you don't have anything to resist.  No willpower required.

Also... rather than thinking about the few silly things you've opted not to have when losing weight, try thinking about the hundreds of other things you could indulge in freely.  Be more creative with your choices, cook more interesting foods, inject some fun and flavour into what you eat.   Your diet may be adequate in terms of calories or nutrition but if it's flat-out boring, you'll look for something to eat that is more fun. 

There will be a solution.  But you may need to think a little about how to engineer it.  Best of luck

I agree with gi-jane, removing the cookies from your environment is the first step and should help you a lot.  I have a few foods like that and I just have to keep them out of my home.  When I do want them I make sure they fit into my calories and then I go out to buy that one item and only that one item.  So if I wanted a cookie I would probably walk to my grocery store and purchase one cookie from the bakery section and enjoy it but I wouldnt buy an entire pack if I knew I would be obsessing over it.  There are plenty of other places that sells just one cookie, I know McDonalds does.  Anyways I try not to exclude these foods from my diet I only try to exclude them from my environment.  That way I have time to think, do I really want that cookie? and if the answer is yes make room for it in my calories and go out and get it.

Just the same problem here =) I know how hard it is not to EVEN think about food...chocolate? cookies, sweets and so on. I really know what do you feel.

I spend almost every day at work, next to my PC, so I used to have a cup of tea with chocolate or smth like that. And now, even at home or whereever I am I can't stop thinking about food. It is very wierd and I don't like it.

So, the solution is...just don't let your self think. You have to do something all the time, don't stop. You have to make yourself think about other problems. It's very hard, but useful.

Good luck...both of us =)

GI-Jane is bang on here - get it out of the house.   You can't hide it... you can't limit your acccess... if it's in the house you'll eventually eat it.  Just turf the crap and start eating good, high value, food.

I completely agree. I used to have the same cravings, though mostly for chips, which were terrible for me because I would buy a huge bag of them and eat them in one sitting and feel terrible afterwards. Removing them from your environment is key and once I got excited about cooking for myself and preparing healthier meals I really haven't eaten chips since, save a few "healthier" alternatives (ones that probably aren't that much healthier but a small portion of which will make me feel like I haven't made a poor choice lol)

I just wanted to add that commmitting now to changing your eating habits means that you WON'T be battling those cravings forever. It might be tough at first but, in my experience, cutting most junk right out of your diet and replacing them with nutritious and healthy foods has gotten rid of the cravings for good. (I can still eat junk in moderation, being careful to trigger those old bad habits, but I have noticed that I no longer crave it)

I never thought I would actually be dreaming of apples on the ride home from work but it does happen

EDIT: In terms of battling you cravings, try going for a walk (getting out of the house, as long as its not to go buy cookies haha) or distracting yourself with some sort of productive activity (instead of mindlessly grazing in front of the tv or computer)... and you may feel a little crazy but talking yourself out it CAN work... or just go on CC and read all the motivation posts haha saves me every time

Hello!

I TOTALLY understand how you are feeling- I felt the exact same!!  I agree with you that it's psychological- it was with me.  The advice the other members have already given you is great- and I can only echo that, but I would like to add...

1. As you say, it IS a psychological thing- and your mind has to be in the right place.  For example, I was chatting with my boyfriend a couple of months ago saying that I should go on a diet and I should cut back on the chocolate, biscuits, crisps (potato chips)...well, I got back from a business trip to find my cupboards bare- he had removed everything 'bad'!!!  I went NUTS!!! -how dare he throw my food away, etc.. !!! -he had in fact just hidden it and I made him put it all back again...and yes, I ended up eating it!!  I know he was doing it for my own good but I was outraged!!!  However, about ~10 days ago I decided that I DID seriously have to go on a diet- and I gave away to my work collegues all the 'bad' stuff out of my cupboards- I gave it away MYSELF!!- it was a great psychological thing- a feeling of being in total control and letting it go.  This time I was in the right mental state to start a diet.   Tell yourself- YOU DO NOT NEED IT- it is only making you upset.

I work in at a University in the UK and yesterday a student bought me a lovely box of chocolates to say thank you for helping him with his final year project.  In the past I would have put them in my handbag, taken them home and indulged in them that evening- I would have eaten the whole box myself, instead I past them around the office and it felt really good to share (sharing out the calories)!!

2. I totally cut out the biscuits, chocolate etc.. and yes, the first few days were hell but now they really don't bother me- it's amazing and something I wouldnt have believed true! Whenever, I think about having something 'naughty' I say to myself- what will give me more pleasure- eating this bar of chocolate or seeing a 1-2 lb weight loss at the end of the week ??  and every time it's the weight lost that wins!!

3. Perhaps you could find an alternative- to have as a treat occasionally- so you do not feel like you are depriving yourself completely- for example my University shop sells Weight Watchers Cookies- there are 2 cookies individually wrapped- OK they are on the small side- but the 2 cookies together are just over 100 calories.

I wish you every success with your battle!!  Be strong-willed!! -you CAN win!!

Love Jenny XXX

I agree with all of you!

See, justice4me - everyone has issues with cravings.  We all have foods that send us spinning out of control.  I'm even right there with ya on the chocolate chip cookies!  I absolutely love them - and pretty much anything else that's baked and includes chocolate.  So, it's been a long-time habit to rarely have those things in my house.  I say "rarely" because it used to be never, ever, at all, under any circumstances.  But as I've been making healthier choices, finding alternatives to sweets, and learning to appreciate good food, I can keep things like ice cream in the house and find that it's not nearly as tempting as it used to be.  It's not easy, and there are times when I do have to talk myself out of it, but it's becoming more painless ;)...

The point it, you can do this.  You have total control over what you put into your mouth.  Focus on how good you feel when you eat a piece of fruit, or that sense of accomplishment when you've finished a great workout!  Change your mindset to crave that kind of satisfaction, rather than the short-term-followed-by-serious-guilt-satisfac tion that comes from eating poorly!

And like lahnals said - come on CC to find motivation.  Realizing that you're not alone in your struggles can make things easier, and you can vent anytime you need to :)

What awesome responses.  I don't know about you, justice4me, but every single post on this thread had me nodding my head and saying "Yes!  Yes!" like a sinner at a revival meeting.  

I have been a white sugar/white flour "addict" my entire life and there was a time when I would bleet "I can't help it" and I was right.  As long as I turned my control over to the trigger foods, all I could do is binge and hate myself (and then, naturally, emo-eat some more to numb out the self-loathing - you know the drill).

Once I went from "I can't" to "I don't want to" (where jennya222 was over 10 days ago), I experienced the first step to personal control and freedom.  It now became my choice - the cookies and cakes and ice creams and chips were not the boss, I was, and I was choosing to eat like a pig at a trough.  An unhealthfully-stocked trough, no less.

Finally, I went from "I don't want to" to "I will" and that's when my life changed.  Yes, it's not easy at first.  Us compulsive overeaters seem to share a common aversion to the short-term difficult and uncomfortable.  Instead, we opt for instant gratification and settle for long-term miserable and painful.

I can affirm what others on this thread have said:  The cravings go away.  I still like a good snack from time to time.  I agree that single-servings of good-quality recreational sugar cannot be beat.  Funny, though, the ordinary crap holds no attraction for me, and the gourmet stuff is very satisfying in small amounts.

I have changed.  You can too.  How bad do you want it?

thank you to all to for your amazing responses.  It's very honest and helpful, but i guess i left out the part about me driving out to buy the junk food and shove it down my throat every time i get the cravings.  Even though I don't eat to the point of uncomfortable, it's still calorie overload.  It's gotten so bad that i have to leave all cash and credit/debit cards at home just so i don't get tempted to buy cookies and chips at school. 

For example, I would go to subway to buy cookies, then Starbucks for their brownie, and then head to Round Table for pizza.  And this is all on my college campus.  Seriously, I know I'm killing myself like this, and there is no excuse and I just have to practice control and keep myself extremely busy.  I'm even more fearful after I graduate because I will have more time on my hands and then what?  I'll be obese by then.

Looking at one of your blog entries I think your problem is partly 'food distribution' and partly 'food choices'.... May 4th you listed breakfast as 3 slices of papaya, for example. May 2nd was 'a kiwi'.  One piece of fruit is not a breakfast.  Lunch of 2 cups rice with chicken and vegetables, again very light and rice is very starchy.  Another day you had 200 cals in the form of chicken soup and an orange.  So the combination of a) starving all morning, and b) sugary/starchy food choices put you right in the path of an afternoon blood-sugar slump and therefore the  cookies, chocolates, twix, fries etc.  It's not that you're weak willed, mentally ill or a bad person.... but you're setting yourself up for a fall if that's how you normally eat.   Anyone on your diet would end up needing more to eat and would be drawn to sugar/starch/fat...  not just you.

You probably don't need a counsellor to fix this because it's not a psychological problem... it's a practical one.   I'd suggest that if you eat a lot more for breakfast and lunch and if you changed your food choices to be more filling, nutritious & with a higher protein and fibre content then you wouldn't experience the same mid-afternoon slumps and you wouldn't need an energy-boost.

By far the biggest mistake I see on these boards is people trying starve themselves thin on next to no food.  Then wondering why they are hungry and why their body, in the interests of sheer self-preservation, has them driving to get junk food.

You should probably take a deep breath and stop trying to lose weight until you get your eating habits better organised.  Aim for 2000 cals a day... three main meals of 400-500 cals each and some healthy snacks to top up the rest.  When you're back on an even keel, take it from there.

-Allow me to be the bad guy for a moment-

I really don't like this support-group mentality that we always get here. This is a question of personal responsibility.

So let's make this really simple.

What is your goal?

To lose fat.

What do you need to do to achieve your goal?

Stick to your diet plan.

Why are you not achieving your goal?

You are not sticking to your diet plan.

So we have this model of your situation now, and what is the only factor we need to complete the goal of weight loss?

You have to stick to your diet plan.

You have to stick to your diet plan.

That's it. That's all. This is not a process; there is no "road to recovery", you just have to do it. It's not a problem. It doesn't have to be a problem. You just have to stick to your diet plan.

You can try tricks like not having it around you, but in the end, you are just trying to shelter yourself from your own temptation. You are validating your own desire to eat junk food.

The next time you want to do something that is not included in your plan, ask yourself "Do I want to lose weight?". Well, do you? Then stick to your plan. Nobody ever gets what they want in life if they can't control themselves. So just simply ignore your cravings. (And they will disappear after a week or two, trust me. I ate a plain can of tuna, 4 tablespoons of peanut butter, unflavored protein powder in water, fish oil caplets, and Spinach cooked in egg whites for my last few meals, and I didn't feel the least bit deprived. We're talking about me, who used to guzzle soda day and night and eat burgers and fries and ice cream treats and flavored snacks and so on).

Just stick to your diet plan.

Original Post by ibez:

-Allow me to be the bad guy for a moment-

Just stick to your diet plan.

 Allow me to be the bad guy right back atcha.....  If someone's diet plan is a combination of 'starvation' and 'poor food' they won't be able to 'stick to it' without making themselves really ill.   If you can live on a can of tuna, protein powder and caplets and feel OK on it then you go right ahead.... disordered eating behaviour takes many forms.  For most normal people that list of random ingredients would be vomit-inducing.

Maybe you should start slower. I find that when I try too hard too fast to diet I just end up crashing and gaining. Start by eating normally for a day, don't diet, just eat like you would and count those calories. Then the next day, reduce those calories by only 100 or 200. Slowly bring it down over time so that you aren't starving and crashing. Also, don't forget that cravings will pass over time. When you are craving something, try drinking a tall glass of water and eating a piece of fruit or vegetable first. By the time you're done with that, you may find that your craving has subsided.

Original Post by gi-jane:

Original Post by ibez:

-Allow me to be the bad guy for a moment-

Just stick to your diet plan.

 Allow me to be the bad guy right back atcha.....  If someone's diet plan is a combination of 'starvation' and 'poor food' they won't be able to 'stick to it' without making themselves really ill.   If you can live on a can of tuna, protein powder and caplets and feel OK on it then you go right ahead.... disordered eating behaviour takes many forms.  For most normal people that list of random ingredients would be vomit-inducing.

That wasn't the whole day's diet, I eat carbs in the morning and fats/protein in the evenings. So no, it isn't starvation. I have never heard of anyone starving on 1800-1900 cals.

Unlike some people, I have to optimize and be strict with my diet or I do not lose weight. Maybe you didn't realize, but not everyone can lose weight on 50% carbs.  My metabolism tends to adjust quickly, I can jump up to 3000 cals of whole, nutritious foods and gain nothing, or drop down to 1800 cals and lose nothing, if I eat at similar macronutrient levels.

When I diet in the way I do, I keep my liver glycogen up while still allowing my body to switch to fat as a primary energy source in the afternoons and evenings.

I was giving the example to say that I do practice what I preach, and if weight loss is my goal, I will eat what I need to eat to make that work.

Some people are about making a process comfortable and easy, and some people are about results. I don't expect most people to diet like I do, but the point is that if you don't do the things you need to do to get your desired result, you will not get that result. That is the simple truth.

If I were to guess, I think that dieting is causing the binging. I would try eating maintenance calories, w/high quality food, and regular meals for a while. Binging is not easy to overcome for some people and sometimes it IS psychological, although I don't know your situation. Many times, it's simply caused by under eating.

Although I'm not a professional, the first thing that I would do is to give up the diet mentality for a while and to focus on feeding yourself nutritious food. For the normal "dieter", I would say that getting the junk food out of your environment is the first thing, but you said that you're driving to multiple places to get the food, so that's not the full answer.

Is it possible that you are a normal weight already and that your body is trying to prevent weight loss? I have no idea what your stats are or whether you'd like to share them.

 You do have an addiction to sugar, fat and salt. This is a difficult task you face...and what is worse you keep the junk foods around you.  Try to pick up the alternatives and slowly introduce them.

What do you do?

Well there is no way you will quit cold turkey so try reducing the quantity you eat at each craving...fest!   Try cutting the quantity by a 1/4 eat time and start introducing alternative sweeteners..Honey, molasses, stevia etc. 

Before sitting down and eating. take one cup of bran in milk and eat that, with an apple to try fill the stomach before you pig put.  

Not knowing when your stomach is full is another problem and you are not chewing your food and eating slowly...it is just jamming it in...your stomach has stretched and it wants to be filled every time you eat anything.  But wants it Quickly!

The mental aspect here is obvious...so you must bring your mind under control while changing your eating habits.  I am sure your quite aware of CC, calories, fat, salt and sugar too...so no lecture from me on that.

But mentally you need to relax, be able to sit back and think before doing.  If your religious, see your pastor, priest or whoever for prayers you can do.  The new age people have many meditations that work as well to calm the mind and build the spirit.  Books stores have sleep tapes you can listen to. 

Just do not get frustrated and give up...you have to love yourself to take care of yourself...prayer, meditation and sleep tapes or CD's maybe what you need t start.

I got myself into a bit of a processed carbs jag over a period of weeks because my schedule was out of whack.  I would try to cut calories to make up for the overeating I was doing and end up hitting the processed carbs worse each day.  Started losing ground after having felt and behaved well with eating for several months. 

What stopped the processed carb jag for me was making the decision and giving myself permission to eat 2000 or 2100 cals a day but to really shoot for nutrient dense foods (and I still had my own permission to eat whatever treat I wanted, as long as I ate really nutrient-dense, filling meals.) Deprivation has always turned me into an obsessed, self-distrusting nutcase.  I made the time to cook up some dense lentil and vegetable soups, ate guacamole, made sure to get plenty of fat at breakfast and lunch, get carbs at lunch.  In two days, I was eating 1/2 a cookie after a good lunch and it was enough or a fun fiber bar treat after school.  You can still have your treats, just take care of your solid meals.  You can learn to trust yourself not to binge and gain weight if you'll eat enough and see that you're not gaining weight.

Decide that today you don't have lose weight.  Today you have to eat well for breakfast and lunch in particular.  Get 1000 cals in by lunch.  You PLAN to eat around 2000.  That's plenty to be full on  without  really gaining weight and you can have your cookies or your whatevers for dessert.  You really can.   They're not bad. Don't make them bad.  Don't be afraid of them.  Be fond of them and eat them after you've had your meal.

I really recommend a dense protein for breakfast the first 15 minutes you get up.  I'm talking 4 oz of lean burger, chicken, turkey, eggs.  About 20-25 grams.  It really helps chill out the carb craving thing that comes later in the afternoon.  Protein for breakfast and lunch and don't be afraid of fat or carbs right along with it.

I know it's my diet, I think I might be too restrictive in the sense of variety.  I limit myself and i guess the more i do, the more binging comes along.  My diet mentality is for sure what prevents from overcoming this.  I know rationally how unhealthy I am being, but nothing is stopping me. 

I should also stop focusing on the losing weight part and concentrate on stop binging and eating healthy food.

It's also true that my stomach just isn't as small as it used to be because when i overeat, i don't feel the discomfort i used to get, so it must be enlarged now.    :(

and bev12, I'm far from normal weight, I am overweight and if i don't stop what i'm doing, i could be 200 by the end of this year.  I'm only 5'1, so over 130 is detrimental to my body enough.