i cant handle the pressure. i am honestly going to breakdown.

this pressure is really getting to me. ALL of family expects me to get straight A's &once i get a B it's the end of the world &i'm depressed for like the longest. i cant sleep... i cant eat. idk.. when i tell people my GPA &all that good stuff they look at me like :O, you've accomplished alot. then i go home am like, the total loser in the family. i hate this. i hate being depressed over a B, i hate having this very severe pressure. it's seriously getting to me. i'm not a strong enough person. &no i'm seriously not being dramatic. for those of you who have parents like mine, how do you deal with it?

 

i know it's not, "become a doctor or DIE." but jeez, it sure feels that way... one of my brothers ended up not doing much &i see how they treat him. not very desirable.

 

i'm just so sick of this. soo sooo sick of it. literally, it's making me sick. mentally &physically. i think i may need to go on anti-depressants.

I'm in the same boat...In my family it's kind of hereditary, my dad also lived under a lot of pressure when he was younger (and still does). When I get less than an A+, it's HELL. and I'm not supposed to drop my grades even by half a point because I had the highest average at my school...so now the pressure isn't only from my family:(

yeah, it does feel "be xyz way or die now".

I'd also like to know if anyone has any survival ideas...besides moving to another country.

That seriously sucks.  I think you need to stop listening to your family about everything.  Stick up for yourself, because you HAVE accomplished a lot, despite what they say.  You have to deside to be happy and proud of yourself.  You have to decide to think YOUR successful.  You can make the choice see yourself as successful or a looser.  You don't have to listen to what they say, because despite the pressure they put on you, you WILL be a success, doctor or not.  If you don't make it into medical school your life won't be over.  You'll just do something else and probably do it really really well!

Cheer up!  It won't be like this forever!  This is probably the hardest part, it will get easier!

The best advise I can give you is to put everything into perspective: your life will not end if you don't meet everyone's expectations.  Life just keeps going.  Do your best, but don't be so worried about failure, because life just keeps going.

Have you tried telling this to your parents? Maybe they don't realize what they're doing? In any case, I think the best thing you can do for yourself is try your best, but make sure YOU'RE happy with yourself. Explain to them that you're just not a straight A student all the time, and you don't want to be a doctor (or whatever), and that they'll have to learn to deal with it. I know that probably sounds impossible, but I really think that's the only way.

I can see both sides of this...  I am young enough to remember what it was like living with that pressure, but old enough to know what it's like right now trying to get into a decent school and find a decent job so I can afford to pay my bills.  You parents want you to succeed, but they should also know that they are driving you to your breaking point.  One thing you should know (that I wish I did)...  Everything you do better now sets it up easier for you later on.  I don't know how many times in college I kicked myself for not doing better in a class in HS.  My GPA wasn't high enough to get a better scholarship so I left school with a lot of student loans (which I am now paying off slowly - with interest).  Stuff stacks on top of each other and your parents are trying to give you a good base to start the rest of your life.  At the same time, if you crash and give up, they've done nothing.  Let them know (in a calm manner).  Hopefully they will be receptive.

Original Post by rcflyr:

I can see both sides of this...  I am young enough to remember what it was like living with that pressure, but old enough to know what it's like right now trying to get into a decent school and find a decent job so I can afford to pay my bills.  You parents want you to succeed, but they should also know that they are driving you to your breaking point. 

but see... the thing is, with my GPA i can get into all kinds of schools. all kinds of professions.. its just that med school is WAY tough to get into. there are other finacially stable jobs other than being a doctor.

 

=(

Yep, there are... What do you WANT to do?  What are you interested in?  That should be the driving factor in deciding your profession.  What year are you?

just second.

but i cant do what i want. i have to do what they want or else i'll be the "loser"

So do you want to be their definition of a loser, or your definition of a loser? It's your call.

its just really hard for you to understand if you never had parents like mine...

it gets so hammered into your skull that you actually begin to believe it.

sorry :( my parents are kind of like that to. i get good grades and everything, but i just got to the point that i didnt CARE. not that i didnt care about my grades, but i did it for ME, not my parents. maybe you have to get to that point...sorry its not very helpful

It might help if you could talk to the counselor at your school.  I'm sure they have seen people with the same problem before and they might have some more specific answers for you.

Aww, I'm sorry hun.  I never had it THAT bad, but I definately did feel a ton of pressure.  Now that I'm in my second year of college, though, I can honestly say it's gotten tons better.  I don't know why, but I feel like... being away, my parents are just so thrilled, even when I tell them about some grade I got that wasn't so great.  It's like "oh that's nice, but WE LOVE YOOOU"... actually, come to think of it, it's pretty great, now.  Hah.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is...  I don't know.  I'm sorry.  :(  Just keep pushing on, because everything WILL work out in the end.  Everything WILL be ok.  And it WILL get better.  I know that's always an incredibly difficult thing to believe/accept when you're in the middle of a tough time, but that's honestly like, my motto in life.  It always does work out, after every time I stress out like crazy.

:o)

It's hard to think that you are disappointing your family but at the same time it is your life, not their's.  That's pretty much how I dealt with it.  And once I turned 18 I went to Brazil for a year before college just to take a year and be on my own completely before going back to school.  It was incredible and really made me become extremely independent.  It's hard for the family to judge when you have minimal contact:)  I then came back and went to college for what I wanted to study and since I was living on my own and paying for college myself with student loans, scholarships and working 30 hours a week there was absolutely nothing my family could say.  It's your life!  Keep your head up.

but see ill still live with them after im 18. so theyll still know my grades. i wish i could move out &go to brazil.

ignoring them is SO much easier said than done. :(