i cant handle thissss...

ED is so damn frustrating sorry guys, just need to vent....

I still haven't weighed myself in about 6 months (trying to avoid all scales), but I had a bit of a relapse, but these past two weeks have allowed me to finally get back on track with this whole gaining thing.  Thing is, I can definitely tell I've added some extra poundage in the stomach area...if it were any other time I guess I could get over it and see this as a good and healthy thing, but Spring break is next week and i'm going to puerto rico with all of my friends.  Fun right? well all i can think about is having to wear a bathing suit...what am I gonna do?!?!

I think it's funny how people who need to lose and people who need to gain fear the same thing: "looking fat in a bathing suit".

In my experiences with my all to thin brother, the couple pounds probably makes you look better. I've always been fat, but my brother was majorly skinny up until a couple months ago. Since he's put on the extra weight, maybe 20 lbs tops, he keeps telling me how fat he's getting, but all I cna think is how much better he looks.

I know it's hard... and swim suit season makes all of us freak out.

Just think about the fact that I'm probably not the only one in the world who thinks that a skeleton in a bikini is revolting (granted in a bikini I look like a tub of lard woo for 211 lbs [gross])

I almost have the opposite thoughts - I don't want to wear a swimsuit for fear of looking too thin. Well, I used to be afraid anyway. Now I'm looking a LOT better though, and none of my bones show or anything gross like that. I pretty much look like a "normal girl" and it makes me really happy.

i think its the best test, "the bathing suit test", in terms of recovery, amount of weight gained, metally, physically, eventho there could be more gains in both areas.  if u feel u can go out in a bathing suit-thats a great sign!  so, use this as more motivation to get better.

I feel like its just too soon.  The weight although vey much needed still hasnt distributed.   It's only been about a week since my dramatic increase in calories and so its all settled in my tummy and even if it is just water weight, I don't want people to see me. My bones definitely don't stick out any more...its just embarassing its pretty much just fat too because I havent gone to the gym in ages and have no muscle.  I was just getting used to not having to wear a jackets to cover up and stay warm, but a bathing suit is too much.

ugh I wish I didnt care what other people think, but truth of the matter is I do.  I just want to look normal or feel normal.

i find i actually feel much more happy in a one piece.  i think its so funny everyone wants to be in a bikini,   i think many very thin, normal and overweight beople look so much better in a one piece, sexier too

You can tell because it's Your tum but no one is seriously going to care about what the hell it looks like and I bet it's only noticable to you because (as ED/recovering ED sufferers) we tend to but major analysis upon our 'problem areas' when there really isn't a problem!

Please don't let these negative thoughts mess up your gaining process, put it this way: more nutritious food and a holiday with all your mates...how much better can it get!?

Make sure you get a bathing suite you feel comfortable in though, regardless of body hangups and remember, it might take some time but your weight will soon distribute evenly I swear but you have to keep going.

XxXxX

Original Post by aeropink161:

i'm going to puerto rico with all of my friends. 

 If it's bothering you so much and if it's compromising your goal to get to a healthy weight then the obvious answer is 'don't go'....  Obsessing over your appearance has presumably contributed to the ED in the first place and maybe you're just not ready for exposing your body in public?

Or... if you're set on going, how about having a dry-run before you get there?  Go to your local swimming pool, put on the bathing suit and get used to how it feels wearing it in front of people.  Get over the initial fear on home territory and then you'll feel less self-conscious on holiday.

Good luck