Why cant i do what my head tells me?!
No matter how often I think to myself I have to stop overeating, binging and generally eating crap I just do anyway.
Then I think right well maybe I should just stop eating. Will certainly make me skinny! But then I see food or think of food and eat loads.
It's so frustrating having a healthy idea in your head but then having no self control to be able to keep to it.
At college theres chips, chocolate, crisps etc and I just give in because it is cheaper to eat that and is easier and everyone else is eating it.
I always feel better when I eat healthily and I feel horrible, sick and guilty when I eat rubbish.
I don't know what to do; I am scared that my head and what I do are completely disconnected. I've started putting on weight now and i don't want to go the way that I was.
Does anyone else have the same sort of problem; how do you get good self control??
xx
Reason: Moved from Weight Loss to Motivation forum
lucydawn - you're not the only one out there with that problem. You should try to set some goals for yourself and make a life committment. If you know you have no self control with what you have stocked in your fridge and pantry, you need to clean house! Throw away all the junk and only keep the healthy stuff.
And if you want to lose the weight, take out one of your favorite jeans and shirts that you no longer fit into and make your goal to fit into them again. Keep them readily visible to remind you. 
Good luck and remind yourself that your body will thank you for all the healthy good stuff not the junk!
Sounds like you're trying to do it all at once and then giving up when you fail. Try making small goals and giving yourself rewards instead of beating yourself up. For instance, set a goal for having at least 2 servings of fresh fruit each day for a week, or maybe having your lunch be a healthy meal each day. If you make it 5 days out of 7 give yourself a reward of some kind... but not food! Then set a new goal.
Even if you miss your goal, try and think about why you didn't make it. And give it another try next week. This should be about changing your lifestyle, not dieting and giving up all your favorite things. Those "unhealthy" foods have a place, and you can enjoy them in small portions once in a while. I have some lovely dark chocolate that I let myself have a bit of most days. But I don't eat the whole sack in one sitting anymore.
I did the same, i had a problem with binging, so I cleared out all the junk food. I buy food that require me to cook, and lots of fruits. I just bough myself two pairs of very expensive diesel jeans, and i purposely bought it one size smaller, because i want to wear it when I hit 115 pounds. That's my reward! =)
Al though if you have problem with binging, cleaning out the fridge may not help, because when I used to binge, I end up going to the nearest store and buy two or three chocolate bars to filled my binge needs.
I called it "Episode" each time when it happens, because my mind just lose control and it becomes someone else, like my worse enemy who wants nothing but to sabotage my effort for eating healthy. I stop binging for over a year, now i just eat when i'm bored but is nothing compare to binging, the difference is i have self control and i'm aware of what i'm doing.
Anyway, I don't need to tell you how I feel, because i'm sure you know. What you need to know is how i got over binging. There is no magic answer, because is not food, or self control that is the problem, it's your emotion and the inner demon that you created over the years.
I started a support group in my community and i have the tools to help you get over binging. Please send me a msg, if you want.
Good luck! Remember never blame you, because is NOT your fault.
Original Post by 115_pounds:
Good luck! Remember never blame you, because is NOT your fault.
While I do wish the original poster luck, I totally disagree with the rest of this statement. If it isn't your fault, whose is it? Is there some evil person forcing the food down your throat? Are gremlins sabotaging your healthy eating plans? Each of us is responsible for our own failures. Acknowledging this and learning to deal with them is the key to success.
I am not unsympathetic to overpowering urges to eat bad foods. I did it myself for a long time. But it was my fault. I knew that it was bad for me to eat two hamburgers and two large fries before dinner then coming home to eat a large dinner. But I did it anyways. When I finally accepted the fact that only I could make the change required for me to lose weight, I started making better decisions.
How do you develop willpower? Well willpower is the ability to make the right choice when faced with the opportunity to make the wrong one. For me the key to getting control of my eating was to create a strict plan and to write down everything I eat and drink. My weight loss plan is very complicated. I have specific goals for every day of the week that vary from day to day. It is complicated, but it was designed by me to allow me to eat foods I like, but only on certain days of the week, which forced me to plan my indulgences.
Another key is to create realistic goals. When I started, I had over 160 pounds to lose. If I had focused on that number, I would surely have given up in despair. Instead, I set a much smaller goal of 20 pounds. If I could lose 20 pounds, then I would reexamine my plan based on my performance and maybe adjust it slightly and then set a new mini goal. I have done this and have lost 116 pounds so far.
To the poster, you can reach your goals. The first thing you should do is think about the way that you like to eat and the foods you like. If there are lower fat or lower sugar varieties of those foods, try them and see if you can cut out some calories that way. If eating from vending machines is sabotaging your plan, then stop carrying cash on you if you can. If you can't, then just try to avoid them as much as possible. For example, at the local college, the student lounge is a common place for people to study, but it has a whole wall of vending machines. I started using the tables outside or in the library to study at instead because the vending machines weren't there. If you educate yourself on nutrition and weight management, then you can create your own diet plan specifically tailored to you. This is what I did so that instead of changing my eating habits to match someone else's idea of a healthy diet, I changed my eating habits to take into account the types of food I 1) know how to prepare, 2) like to eat, and 3) fit into my budget.
Another way to develop your willpower is to set mini goals for yourself and reward your good behavior. For example, set a mini goal this week of not eating any crisps. If you achieve that goal, then reward yourself by buying yourself something you want (non-food something). You could also set a goal like buying yourself a new MP3 player (like the Sansa Clip). Everytime you resist buying junk from the vending machine, take the change you would have spent on the junk and put it in a jar. When you have enough change, you use it to buy the thing you wanted.
I wish you the best of luck. And when you are tempted, just think to yourself, "Is what I'm about to eat worth the extra weight and guilt I'll get from eating it?" The answer is almost always going to be no.
"I wanted to point out a few observations that may help you to get fit. One you kick your ass harder than anyone else. You described in a note to me that your basically very hard on yourself. You get down when your not losing weight. Self esteem issues are tough but can be dealt with. When your mind is giving you ****, talking negative in the third person. Example when your down on yourself you say internally......."you looser or piece of sh(*&&t). Note the dialog is in the 3rd person. It's like your mind is out to kill you and convince you that your awful. You need to catch this and focus on what you have done right that day or in prior days. Athletes that are too hard on themselves will often times fail because they set up unrealistic standards and can't accept that failure is success. In lifting weights my coach would push me to collapse, saying that same damn thing. Every time I missed a record lift, he touted that I was one step closer to making the lift. It was simply a numbers game. "
We are harder on ourselves than most folks. Use these tools talk on line, and don't talk to yourself in a bad manner. If I can help please call on me. Best wishes M
Are you eating enough of the good stuff to help you feel full and satisfied??
I find I don't need willpower at all if i"m feeling satisfied. Oh and the great saying "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!"
Good luck
~H~
The thing that helps me, and maybe it will help you, is to think about why you want to eat healthier or exercise. What is your motivation? Are you determined, or is a lot of it wishful thinking? You won't make any major headway until you really take the bull by the horns and charge. To do that, I think you need a pure and rock solid motivation.
In my opinion, if you are doing all this to make people more attracted to you, that's the wrong mindset. I think you need to do it for yourself. You need to do it because you realize it's the healthy and right way to live life. You need to do it because after a healthy day of eating or an intense workout, that euphoria that you feel is as addicting as crack, and you want that feeling every day for the rest of your life. You want the peace of mind that you won't die at 60 because of a clogged artry. You want to be active and doing awesome things until your body is so old you die.
That's the kind of power that obliterates petty cravings and desire for junk food. Heck, after awhile you'll get a taste for healthy for anyway and it won't be a big deal. It'll probably even taste better to you.
Original Post by techdog:
Original Post by 115_pounds:
Good luck! Remember never blame you, because is NOT your fault.
While I do wish the original poster luck, I totally disagree with the rest of this statement. If it isn't your fault, whose is it? Is there some evil person forcing the food down your throat? Are gremlins sabotaging your healthy eating plans? Each of us is responsible for our own failures. Acknowledging this and learning to deal with them is the key to success.
I am not unsympathetic to overpowering urges to eat bad foods. I did it myself for a long time. But it was my fault. I knew that it was bad for me to eat two hamburgers and two large fries before dinner then coming home to eat a large dinner. But I did it anyways. When I finally accepted the fact that only I could make the change required for me to lose weight, I started making better decisions.
How do you develop willpower? Well willpower is the ability to make the right choice when faced with the opportunity to make the wrong one. For me the key to getting control of my eating was to create a strict plan and to write down everything I eat and drink. My weight loss plan is very complicated. I have specific goals for every day of the week that vary from day to day. It is complicated, but it was designed by me to allow me to eat foods I like, but only on certain days of the week, which forced me to plan my indulgences.
Another key is to create realistic goals. When I started, I had over 160 pounds to lose. If I had focused on that number, I would surely have given up in despair. Instead, I set a much smaller goal of 20 pounds. If I could lose 20 pounds, then I would reexamine my plan based on my performance and maybe adjust it slightly and then set a new mini goal. I have done this and have lost 116 pounds so far.
To the poster, you can reach your goals. The first thing you should do is think about the way that you like to eat and the foods you like. If there are lower fat or lower sugar varieties of those foods, try them and see if you can cut out some calories that way. If eating from vending machines is sabotaging your plan, then stop carrying cash on you if you can. If you can't, then just try to avoid them as much as possible. For example, at the local college, the student lounge is a common place for people to study, but it has a whole wall of vending machines. I started using the tables outside or in the library to study at instead because the vending machines weren't there. If you educate yourself on nutrition and weight management, then you can create your own diet plan specifically tailored to you. This is what I did so that instead of changing my eating habits to match someone else's idea of a healthy diet, I changed my eating habits to take into account the types of food I 1) know how to prepare, 2) like to eat, and 3) fit into my budget.
Another way to develop your willpower is to set mini goals for yourself and reward your good behavior. For example, set a mini goal this week of not eating any crisps. If you achieve that goal, then reward yourself by buying yourself something you want (non-food something). You could also set a goal like buying yourself a new MP3 player (like the Sansa Clip). Everytime you resist buying junk from the vending machine, take the change you would have spent on the junk and put it in a jar. When you have enough change, you use it to buy the thing you wanted.
I wish you the best of luck. And when you are tempted, just think to yourself, "Is what I'm about to eat worth the extra weight and guilt I'll get from eating it?" The answer is almost always going to be no.
You obviously live in a perfect world...my only question is if you are so perfect, why are you even on CC?? Why not depend on your WILL power, and stop wasting time on CC logging in your calorie intake?
Anyway i made my point.
That’s the solution. Unfortunately, planning everything requires a level of discipline that few are capable of attaining, myself included. However, I think it’s possible to plan with success for those days when you have to follow a routine anyway (ex : school day, work day). The rest of the time, just try to eat sensibly and try not to over-indulge and you should be just fine.
I agree with you, techdog. It is nobody's fault but our own when we make bad decisions. The first step in fixing a problem is admitting that you are the one who has both the problem, and the power to fix it.
I have lost more than 115 pounds so far, and have about 40 to go. I have gone from a sie 26 to an 8/10.
I still have an occasional binge, where I eat nothing but junk, and hate myself the next day. I don't see anyone else filling my plate, so the changes have to come from me.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!! It gets a little easier, though we never seem to totally lose our bad ideas and habits with food. You can come out on top, too!
As to why someone is still on CC if they're so "perfect"; maybe CC helps you get to that point, and you want to offer encouragement and advice that really works. Nastiness and spite never help anyone.
Original Post by 115_pounds:
You obviously live in a perfect world...my only question is if you are so perfect, why are you even on CC?? Why not depend on your WILL power, and stop wasting time on CC logging in your calorie intake?
Anyway i made my point.
How does my taking responsibility for my own failures equate to living in a perfect world. I disagree with you so you make a personal attack.
I never claimed to be perfect and offered suggestions that worked for me to increase my willpower. And I don't log my calorie intake on CC. I come here because I am a social person who is always trying to educate myself by talking to others in a similar situation.
As for making your point, if your point was that we are not to blame for our own bad behavior, then I respectfully disagree. We choose what we eat and even if we don't have much control over the menu, we almost always have control over the amount. If not, then and only then are you not to blame for choosing to eat an unhealthy diet.
Techdog, 115_pounds is just angry because you apparently hit waaaay too close to home. Don't let it worry you. I have to second pretty much everything you said. None of us are here because we were tied down and force fed. And so sorry, 115_pounds, but that is the ONLY way it's not you doing it. Otherwise, it is *you* who is putting things into your mouth, chewing them up, and swallowing them down. The biggest question is to figure you *why* you're doing that and what you can do to prevent it from happening.
Avoidance only gets you so far. There will always be times when you can't avoid stuff. so you really have to learn how to manage it. My advice to you would be to see a professional therapist. They can teach you all sorts of coping mechanisms that you can use to learn to relate to food better. They can also help you with the underlying issues that got you started bingeing in the first place. Resolving those will do wonders for your eating habits.
Original Post by motivateme:
lucydawn - you're not the only one out there with that problem. You should try to set some goals for yourself and make a life committment.
Changes work best when you do them one at a time, and hold them for at least 3 weeks. By that time it has become a habit. Then you add another change.
What happens most is that we want to change too much too fast and that's when our emotions start to play up and want to eat eat eat because you HAVE TO do something. And we don't want to have to do something.
That's how I try to change things and it works well for me.
Jolanda
Being on Calorie Count is a big step toward stopping this behavior. I was the same way and I still kind of am, but with time, I know I'll get better. Logging your calorie intake will help you to realize BIG TIME how much you actually eat and looking up the stuff you binge on and seeing it right on your screen how unhealthy it is will help you realize that you've got a problem and you need to stop. Now, I always have calorie intake in the back of my mind and I think about what I've eaten and I know when to say no.
Get your own healthy snacks and eat those. Eat a healthy snack before going to hang out with friends. Drink plenty of water to keep yourself feeling full.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Indeed you have to hold yourself responsible, but I can really feel you Lucy, because I think I know what you feel, it is like, which "self" is to blame, cuz it sure feels like it is almost someone else scoffing something unhealthy into you, only for "you" to really be aware of what you just did once you have finished!
OK, sounds a little skitzo, but it almost is in a mild kind of way.
I know that I am more likely to have a bad scoff when I have a number of things I am trying to do at once, or there is something particularly stressful happening that just breaks you (although in an often very temporary way).
I think the 2 key things in dealing with this have already been mentioned, but just to restate for emphisis:
1. Get into a healthy habit, keep a healthy pattern of something for 3 weeks for it to become a habit, then it becomes easier to keep at it (don't have to change everything at once, just bit by bit)
2. Try to have a solid motivation and try to think of that motivating factor when you are tempted to have a binge.
Then, after all that, if you still crack sometimes, just don't be too hard on yourself, add the foods to your food log (if you keep one), and you may find it is not too difficult to still meet your target within the week overall including the "crap" you ate!
Good luck! 
Original Post by 115_pounds:You obviously live in a perfect world...my only question is if you are so perfect, why are you even on CC?? Why not depend on your WILL power, and stop wasting time on CC logging in your calorie intake?
Anyway i made my point.
Actually you didn't even come close to making a point. Seriously, what techdog said had a lot of truth in it. The truth is brutal. And half the point of the community and weight loss communities such as this one is to get you to stop lying to yourself and face the hard true facts about yourself. Its the hardest part of trying to lose weight. And CC has one of the better communities, even if you do have the best willpower there is, a strong community is nice to have regardless.
I agree with JONMIN. The only way I have been able to control my desire for non-nutritional foods is to log into CC everyday, I log every food I plan to eat that day, that way before I even eat breakfast I have an idea of what my total caloric intake will be for that day. I also factor in the approximate amount of exercise I plan to do. That way I get a better feel for what my deficit will be.
This has helped me tremendously, because when I see all of the junk food listed and the calories and fat, I don't want to eat that. Now I don't even think about eating junk food. That's not to say every now and again I won't have a peanut butter cookie if I want it, but I also allow it in the total calories for the day.
I am eating so healthy, that I'm struggling to meet my deficit. I have lost 9 lbs in two weeks.
"Never give up what you want the MOST for what you want in the moment"
Wow I'm overwhelmed by everyones help.
Sure seems that there are a lot of people who have been in the same situation.
I'm definately going to take the advice and set myself mini goals and change one thing for 3 weeks and then set another goal.
Thanks again for everyones help and it is true that we do it to ourselves but also its as though there is someone else who takes over when you have a binge episode.
Good luck to everyone else who is trying to overcome binges. CC is such a great site and thanks again to everyone.
xx
Thanks again for everyones help and it is true that we do it to ourselves but also its as though there is someone else who takes over when you have a binge episode.
I really do wish you luck and I apologize if I came off sounding harsh. I think you have chosen a good path in adopting the mini goals and working on changes slowly. I hope that you can get your "binging alter ego" under control. I am confident that you can do it if you try.
This talk of alter egos who are out of control makes me think of the Hulk or maybe in this case, the incredible Bulk.
"Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry." 
