Can't get over my fatself

Good morning.  This website helped me a lot to eat right.  Finally, after all these years of battling, I am fit.  My weight stops going up and down, and it is just sitting at a weight that I am comfortable with.  However, I still can't get over my fatself.  Once in a while, I still have nightmares of myself gaining all the weight back.  My self esteem is still low.  I still see that fat girl in the mirror.  I grew up being the fat girl next door.  My father, grandparents, relatives, teachers and even classmates called me the fat girl.  So naturally, I don't have a name, but my name is the fat girl.  It follows me well into my teenage years.  So hard to shake it off.  So hard to shake off this childhood low self esteem self.  I was quite lonely most of the time when I was a kid.  Not because I don't have any friends, but I learned to make fun of myself at such young age to act like I don't care.  Very outgoing on the outside.  Very lonely indeed. Tell me, friends, how do I get over my fatself?  She is like an evil twin...

The best way I've found to battle self image issues to do mirror work with affirmations. You will feel very weird at first, but keep doing it. If you do it every day for 30 days straight you will notice a big difference.

Stand in front of the mirror and say things like:

• I approve of myself
• I am pretty
• I am worthy of loving myself
• I love my body

Say them at least 10 times as you look in the mirror. Listen to and feel the emotions and memories that come up. Accept the hurtful memories and then let them drift away.

The rest of the day if you pass a mirror or reflective surface and see yourself, smile at yourself and think a positive thought such as I look good today, I feel good about my body, etc. Once again, the negative may be the first thing to pop in your head or negative memories and emotions may come to the surface. Don't just try to ignore them. Let them come up and tell yourself you are done with the negativity. By acknowledging them and then affirming that you're changing your habits of how you look at yourself you are taking the power out of the memories and habits.

Check into books by Louise Hay. She is the queen of using positive thinking and affirmations.

Love, light,  and good luck to you.

I say shame on all of them and good for you!! You need to really focus on how great you have done and think about how good it feels to look in the mirror and not see that old fat girl . I am proud of you and it gives me hope that I will get to that point one day . I am just getting started. Just hold that head up and keep going.

Fatgirl is dead but she's haunting you!  I agree with the first post, do those affirmations when you look at yourself but also look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that fatgirl is gone! Make it funny to keep it light "Fatgirl BE GONE!"

You don't need that persona anymore, you don't need to hide behind the fat.  You have strength! You lived through the pain of being fatgirl, you were strong enough to change your body. Now change your mind.  Allow yourself to be the powerful person you are.  Women often fear their own strength, we hide it, we deny it, because we might be disapproved of.  To H-ll with that.

You're beautiful.  Get used to it.

My low self esteem is slowly fading away.  I realized that the person putting myself down the most was myself.  I started defending myself to my negative thoughts as if they were a real person (a mean person) talking to me.  It really helped. 

I've also heard that mirror affirmations can help.

 

Oh my goodness, I can totally relate.  I, too, was always "the fat girl."  I was a chubby little kid who became a fat teen and obese adult.  I lost over 100 pounds and at age 35, I am still haunted in many ways by my "old" self.

Two things I can share that helped me:

1) Put on an outfit that you feel confident in and that you think accentuates your new body.  Then, take photos of yourself.  Get shots from all angles - full body, front, back, and sides.  Then, compare them to your old, "fat" pics.  I know what it's like to look in the mirror and still see the old body.  But the camera lens does not lie, especially when you compare present vs. past.

2) Simply put, it takes a while for your brain to catch up with your body.  It used to take me forever to buy clothes, because I would constantly choose things that were too big and have to make a hundred trips to the dressing room.  Mentally, I was seeing myself about two sizes bigger than what I really was.  But now I have gotten to the point where I can eyeball things pretty well again.

I still have my moments with the mirror, where I look at myself and see 267 pounds staring back, but that happens less and less.   Because I was always fat, it became part of my self-image and it's hard to unlearn 30+ years of something like that.  But slowly, I am doing it. 

I have also had the nightmare of suddenly becoming heavy again, but I look at it as a reminder to myself to never give up on all that hard work I've done.  I use the awful feelings from the dream as a way to motivate me to make sure those feelings *stay* in my dreams.

And finally, as for the self-esteem, I know that is a hard thing to overcome, too, and since everyone is different, there is no "catch-all" solution for it.  I will say this, though: You lost weight and got healthy, and that is hard work that you have every right to be proud of!  YOU did it, YOU won, and nobody can take that away from you!  It took huge inner strength to acheive that, so you know it is there...now channel that inner strength into everything you do in your life.  Just start taking baby steps and never stop! :)

I would just compare how you look now, to how you looked then. You aren't that person anymore. If you worry about gaining a bunch of weight back suddenly, just remember that you are in control. The only person that can make you fat is you. The only person who can make you fat by eating poorly and not exercising is you. It sounds like you have come a long way, so I wouldn't worry about it. I know the imagine of your former self haunts you, but I think it should make you feel good that you worked so hard and got so far. Your imagine is obviously different now, and I would embrace it. I know you used to be "the fat girl", but that isn't you anymore. I had a friend that lost a bunch of weight, and she says she doesn't even consider her former self, her. She just doesn't see that person anymore. I would just look in the mirror and see how far you have come. I don't think your self esteem should be low, because look at how hard you worked, you know? There are some people that can eat whatever they want and stay thin. The fact that you work at least twice as hard as those people should make you feel good. You care enough about your body to stay healthy and not just thin. I would find your favourite body part on yourself, and then find an outfit that accentuates it. Then, if you ever feel down, put it on and be like wow, my rack looks amazing, or my hips have such a nice curve... etc.

By the way congradulations on not being fat anymore. That is a really big step and I'm sure it was really difficult. Kudos to you.