Can't stop starving myself

I know it's completely the wrong way to do it, but I have a huge problem getting myself to eat a healthy diet. For most of my young life (ages 10-19) I was pretty heavy. Not obese, but I'm 5'3" and I was probably around 170-180. Around the end of 2006, I went through a bad break up and it caused me to work hard at losing my extra weight, and in about 6 months I went from a size 16 to a size 2 by basically working out nonstop and eating 300-800 calories a day. Then in mid 2007 I met a new guy, was in a relationship, and let up on the hard core diet and went from a size 2 to a size 8, and that relationship ended about 4 months ago. Since then, I've lost approximately 15 lbs., and have gone to around a size 5. (I don't really weigh myself, I just go by clothing size). But now, I have gotten back into the habit of only eating 600-700 calories a day, although I don't really work out much. Most days I only eat one lean cuisine meal and a couple non-fat, sugar-free Starbucks drinks. Then on Saturdays - my "cheat" days - I eat anything and everything I want. I know it's not the right way, but seeing results makes me keep doing it. I have no idea how to break this cycle. I've tried making myself eat healthy meals and eat atleast 1200 calories a day, but whenever I do, I feel tremendously guilty and go back to super low calories.

What do I do?! I'm in this vicious cycle and cannot stop.

Hi anie. I really feel for you. I am 21 years old and did the same kind of thing all throughout high school. All I can tell you is that there is no magic button. There is no easy way out, and no one can  do it for you. You have to decide that its worth being healthy and accept that its going to be hard, and that you may fail, but all you can do is pick yourself up the next day and try harder. Im sorry that you have to go through this...its no easy feat. Take care.

 

Alyssa

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss...you'll land among the stars"

I can totally relate to your situation. I use to starve myself like that and I would lose weight so fast.I was a yo yo dieter and I would gain weight knowing that I could easily lose it by starving myself. I'm 25 years old now  and my metabolism is all messed up. I can't even lose weight anymore starving myself.I gained so much weight and felt horrible. I found cc hoping to change my eating habits and eat the right way and so far it is working.I'm not losing the weight as fast as I use to but I know eventual'y I will lose my excess fat and live a normal healthy life without starving myself. So my point here is that yeah you can lose the weight starving yourself but your more prone to yo yo dieting and being very unhealthy. You have to make that first step and stop abusing your body. It took me a long time to snap out of that mode but I'm just happy that ,that part in my life is over and I can move on and be healthy. Good luck!

Hi anie,

I just got out of starvation mode and I am soo happy I did. It took a number of doctors visits, blurred vision, seeing spots and flashes in my vision and just about killing my self, really not just a phrase. Quit doing it to save your life is the thought you must put in your head. I found a great ebook called burn the fat, feed the muscle. I did not really understand about the body before, must have been asleep during health class through out my high school years. Learned alot of stuff, and now I am eating 5 small meals a day, and losing weight. I feel much better, my vision is returning. It is a real pain in the ass to eat so much, at first it was great because my body craved the food, now it is just a pain. I have been doing it for a month now and I continue to loose weight. I was stuck for a long time as far as loosing weight, on a platue from hell. I kicked up the calories, started drinkning a ton of water and it is good so far. I am 6'1 and weigh about 200 and was eating 700 - 1000 a day, lost all my muscle. When you stop taking in food, your body does not stop eating, it ate all my muscle and there are no caloires in muscle, so it really messed up my eyes. I hope you can try to get back to a sensible way to eat, or you will be unhappy for a long time to come.

What to do is probably go to see your doctor and ask their advice.  When you know you're in an unhealthy behaviour pattern that you can't fix solo you need to ask for help.   Disordered eating is a recognised condition.   The trigger for it in the past may have been depression or lack of self-confidence but it's now become a bad habit.    Your doctor could check your general health  (a poor diet could leave you at risk of several medical problems)  and possibly refer you to a dietician or a behavioural therapist.

Are you unhealthy? Calories are measured by the week. Maybe if you seriously track cals for a week (then divide by 7) you might find you are doing OK. I have the same problem with the guilt but, in the end, I check out healthy so what's the big deal? Everyone's metabolism is different. If you are concerned about health, get a physical. If you are unhappy with your life style, change it. If your health is good and you are happy, go with it. IMHO

Hi, I had this same problem for many years ever since I was 14 (I'm 24 now). It is really unhealthy to starve yourself and eventually your body will wise up and stop losing weight. You will end up with a trashed metabolism, not trying to scare you, but it will happen. Thats how it is for me now, if I restrict too much, my metabolism slows and my weight stays the same. I've lost 20 lbs in the last year eating healthy (1400 cals/ day with some cheat days) and I plan to lose the rest eating that way. I know it's hard when you're used to eating such a small amount, but your body will thank you if you consume at least the minimum you need for it to function. Have you considered seeing a counselor? That way you could have some support instead of trying to do it on your own.

it's interesting what tsanday said, but i haven't heard of that and i think my nutritionist would disagree, but everyone's different!  i used to heavily restrict during the week and then eat whatever i wanted on the weekends and it lead to weight gain and a LOT of stress.  

 

the only way i've gotten out of this is to be METICULOUS about eating regularly.  i started out aiming for only 1200 calories (that's still too low, but you don't want to overwhelm yourself).  i would eat every 3 hours to keep my metabolism up.  i didn't really have "meals" and would just have snacky type things.  a typical day for me would be something like:

9:00 - total cereal and orange juice - 210

11:00 - sandwich with one slice no sugar bread, turkey, cheese, and mustard - 210

1:00 - fruit snacks - 80

3:00 - piece of fruit (apple or banana, usually) - 60-100

5:00 - another sandwich - 210

6:00 - bag of goldfish - 140

8:00 - pb sandwich - 220

right before bed - a mini smores granola bar as a treat - 70

 

it's still hard - when i eat like that i feel like i'm eating ALL THE TIME even though it's low calorie.  but yeah, i would log everything in a notebook i carried around all day and would subtract down from my total instead of counting up.  sometimes it was frustrating to get to the end of the day and have extra calories, but i would usually get a frozen yogurt or something.  it's going to be hard, but it just takes a conscious effort to get things back under control.  also, you might want to consider talking to a nutritionist and they can help you set up a meal plan.  if you're in college (i figure you might be if the 87 in your name is your birth year), they probably have lots of resources if you search them out.  

let us know how it goes!

I also had the same problem.  Even now I am struggling especially because I am in college, with eating enough each day.  Today I had part of a quesadilla for dinner and I couldn't judge how much was in it so I just stopped eating.  I know there was no way that it could have been 800 calories or so but I was afraid it was.  The way that I work around this (most days, today was an exception, unfortunately) is that, like lakey, I am very, very careful with my calories.  I will eat only packaged foods or foods that I make and measure by myself.  Nothing I eat goes unmeasured on a regular day.  This is actually not so much as not to overeat as it is that I don't undereat - because seriously, I am often times no longer hungry but have not fulfilled my calories for the day.

Typically, I'd eat like...

Oatmeal (instant) - 160 cals or cereal (@250 cals)

Snack - Kashi bar/100 calorie pack (around 100-140 cals)

Lunch - salad (with dressing, around 200 cals) or 1/2 can tuna with celery (@140 cals) or peanut-butter sandwich (@350 cals) or SlimFast (if I'm on the go, it's like 200 cals) and green tea -120 cals (I always have this, it boosts your metabolism!)

Dinner - half of the tuna I didn't eat or soup or peanut-butter sandwich or (GASP!) Ramen noodles or grilled chicken sandwich (350 cals)

And whatever I have left to hit my goal of 1200-1300 calories I eat in packaged goods like Kashi bars and Goldfish or fruit.  Fruit is good.

I could eat a lot healthier ideally but it is hard because I live in a dorm room and usually must eat meal plan food.  I just try to log everything I eat and make sure that I can look up its calorie content (I tend to, when in doubt, underestimate, which means that I go under my limit).

I know that it's hard and a lot of the time I feel discouraged because I feel like eating all this I couldn't be losing weight but I think I can see it coming off even when the scale doesn't budge, so just hang in there and good luck to you.  I hope that you achieve success in overcoming your disorder.  We will support you through it if you want so don't hesitate to drop a line, okay?

*~Kizzi~*

I broke this habit. just recently. I was living with a Vegan.. and thought this was the only way to live. Yet because it wasnt really for me, and i didnt really know how to do.. it obsessed over it all.. but ended up eating very little. I hated it.. i flaked out, i hated my body, and was generally a very anxious and stressed out girl.

I started getting very sick.. and im now on an elimination diet.. of rice, pears, eggs, beans and tofu. The inclusion of eggs in my diet has been amazing.. and ive found, that now that i eat more protein, i get less sugar cravings and i feel great all the time. Although it was hard to break the cycle. ( i think it helped that a dietician told me to do it), i feel great.. my bloated stomach has gone, and i feel lighter, happier and more relaxed than ever. Eating is no longer a disaster waiting to happen.. but simply something that has to be done...so why not enjoy it hey??

well thats my thinking..... (this week)