Who Cares????

Deciding to change ones lifestyle for the better is a personal choice.  When one decides to make changes eventually someone will always try to discourage ones progress.  Here are a few examples:

1. You know the weight you have lost is mainly water.
2. 20 pounds lost in two weeks is nearly all water.
3. You will never be able to maintain your goal weight.
4. Your goal weight is too lite for your frame.
5. Everyone I know who has lost more than 40 lbs. has regained nearly every pound loss.
6. I know you have lost 50 lbs. but you will never be able to loose and keep off another 50 lbs.
7. There is no way your plan will work.
8. "You dont need to loose weight" and then they smile real big......
9. Is that healthy? As they sit there 60 lbs over weight.
10. You should talk to my brother in-law.  He lost 80 lbs in 4 months........bla bla bla

The list can go on and on...... 

Anyone ever experienced this?  When you have lost a large amount of weight and friends and family refuse to acknowledge your accomplishment.   What a bummer...

Well, WHO CARES?  As long as you are happy with your results and lifestyle changes what does it matter to anyone else?  Most of us on this site are adults and we know what is really necessary to to loose weight.  I would venture to say that most of us are champions at loosing weight.  We have lost hundreds of pounds throughout our lifetime buy one method or another and regained what we have lost plus some.  Who cares?  We will not let those set backs stop us now! 

Deep down we know our own bodies and what is healthy and what is not.  We have decided to make changes and are doing it.  Let nothing keep us from reaching our personal goals.  Snide comments are just that.  Lack of encourgment from others will make us stronger. We are doing this for ourselves and no one else.

So the next time someone tells you that your weight loss is just water think how much better your clothes are now fitting.  Draw from the extra energy you now have and move on.  Let no one place doubt, or discourage you from reaching all of your goals.  Remember, this is our choice and together we will succeed.

What comments/remarks/experiences get you down?

i know i should take it as a compliment but it kinda bothers me when people tell me im thin already and that i dont need to lose weight. i know that if someone told me i was overweight...id be even more upset haha...but I think it would help me try even harder. I can see what I look like underneath clothes or when i try clothes on and how bad it looks. i cant find anything i like at stores because of the muffin top i got going on (thats the fat that comes above your pants for those who dont know). oh yeah....and also most of the stores have ugly clothes that only look good on really small people or for those who are extremely pretty and can make those clothes look good (like sweatpants with uggs....or grandma clothes ha!).

i am 5'5 and 145 pounds. i honestly dont think im really overweight but i do have some chub id like to lose (thats all hidden in the clothes that hide it!).

Nobody has ever said anything like that to me - the most I get is "stfu, you've absolutely obsessed with your weight!" which could be true. It makes me a bit downhearted but I am by nature, obsessive and I am determined.

I hate it when people tell me I don't need to lose weight. I hate compliments like that - it's so irritating because I don't want people to try and convince me away from my goal and let me get 2 BMI points from obese again.

Grr.

I think it all boils down to jealousy.  Honestly, some people would rather you not lose the weight, because they are at least 15-20 pounds overweight and too lazy to do anything about it.  If you are just like them, they are okay with you, but the minute you start to lose weight they are jealous because they aren't disclipled enough to do it, and want to tear you down/discourage you to make themselves feel better.

It is sad and pathetic because we should always encourage and praise others.  It is not a piece of cake to lose weight. 

For me, I just started on my diet and I am serious, no one is going to side track me.  I just don't tell anyone.  I keep it personal and if someone makes a wise remark, well, they can go you know where.

Thats the spirit!!

I've had some people tell me that i look better and healthier with a few more pounds on.  I am by NO MEANS too thin and I have never had a body dysmorphia issue.  I also notice that the people who specifically tell me that have their own weight issues and are generally obsessed with losing weight.  So yes, i think the belief that jealousy is at the root of these comments is a good bet.

I just rely on the weightloss tools. I am right smack in the middle of a healthy BMI range.  I know that i could actually lose another ten pounds and still be within a healthy weight range, and i know that the squishy, wobbly tire around my waist and the fact that my body is healthy and that i have had fewer colds than ever this year tells me that I am not too skinny (in addition to the fact that I don't look to skinny).  So, thankfully, I have got to the point where I just don't pay attention to those people, as much as it bugs me to hear their comments. 

I get "your fine the way you are" and always from people either my size of larger. I get alot of worries "well, don't lose too much... 15 more lbs tops!" to which I respond "nope, 35 more to go!" then I laugh if they argue and tell them not to worry Im being healthy bout it. I used to try to put people more at ease with it, but it never worked so I gave up.

I do find some family members and stuff seem to try and sabotage me (ahem, mom.. looking at you) and make loads of desserts and stuff when I visit ("one piece won't ruin you...")

But, youre right on. I'm proud of me.. and Im not doing it for them :)

All I've got to say to that is that if losing water brought me down from a size 14 to a 3 go me anyway :) lol. 

Seriously, i think it is hard for those who are not as energetic to pull you down.  I have fortunately not had that much of a problem with it and most of my friends have been very supportive and encouraging even teasing me about becoming a "skinny minnie" and stuff like that but in a funloving way. 

My mother of all people is the one who says 'as long as you don't get too small or unhealthy".. ummm lets see I'm only 5'2 so a size 3 on me is a lot different than if I was 5'7 - I was born small and was designed to be small can't help my frame size ;).

 secondly when I first started I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath, now I can walk for miles and I run up the stairs all the time and have phenomenal energy.  I also credit my healthy lifestyle with helping me to survive a very nasty illness in early december... had I been like I was I have no doubts it would have killed me. 

So... pppbbllllttttttttt to anyone who gets on me about weight loss etc.  I am healthier than I have been in my entire life and no one can take that away from me.  I did and continue to do all the hard work and I refuse to let anyone rob me of the joy of my new life :) that attitude keeps anything sabotaging from getting under my skin so much.

I don't get any support from those I'm around all the time.  The hubby thinks it's ridculous to go through all the trouble to track what I eat and to not eat just what ever I want.  The co workers...can't stand it.  Because they don't loose but try to.  Then when your encouraging and tell them what your doing they don't want to hear it.  That's stupid.  Gee lost 6 pounds in 3 weeks ya would think they would want to know.  I don't get that part.  My mom who doesn't live here.  Sulks in her own weight problem and tries to make me feel guilty about hers.  Like its my fault she  overweight. 

We just stick together on here and be happy that we did it and feel great doing it.     Hip Hip Hooray! 

I try to avoid all of the negative comments by not ever talking to people about my weight loss or my plans. I have lost about 55 lbs since I had my baby the end of September, so obviously a lot of people have noticed and ask me what I'm doing. I tell them I've been watching my caloric intake, and excercising. If they ask more, I tell them about this website *PLUG**PLUG* and my excercise routine. And when they say stuff about how "good" I look, I tell them that I feel great, and leave it at that. The conversation is short, and then people don't feel like I'm trying to make them feel bad by just talking about my weight.  I know that it drives me insane when people talk about their weight, their weight-loss plan, ect all the time. I try and spare others from my incessant chattering about that stuff.

I have had so many similar remarks and experiences in the past year while I was loosing over 60 pounds.

At first, when the weight loss became just a bit noticable, people were supportive and told me I looked good.  By July/Aug when it was REALLY noticable (And I had bought new clothes that actually fit) I started to get the comments "Can you eat this??" when going out with friends for dinner, or "you dont eat anything anymore".... I do, just not the same crap you eat!  If I didnt have the hotdogs after dinner while camping my sister in law would get upset - hello, I just ate dinner like 2 hours ago.  Just becuase we are in the woods doesnt mean I need to eat a hot dog!  ;)

Then this fall, I started getting the "don't lose too much" and "Promise me you wont loose any more weight" from my mom, gramma and aunt - all who have had issues with weight (not really overweight, just lots of ups and downs over the years).  I am still well within a healthy BMI but when I tried to explain this to them, they just wouldnt listen. 

So I stopped explaining it to them.  I just ignore them or the comments, and if they press me on it, i just say I am working on this with the help of my Doctor and am very heathly.  Then I change the subject.  There is no point in arguing or trying to proove my point because they dont want to hear it. 

I am 5'9" tall and weigh 148 - I lost over 60 pounds so I was over 200 just a year ago!!  I think everyone was used to seeing me BIG... I was big as a teen/early 20's - not really overweight but larger.  My mom used to say I was just big boned and my sister was the skinny one.  WELL, surprise, I was fat and I really do have a smaller frame under all that fat.  If someone is used to seeing you as the bigger person, they think that is 'normal' and people these days have a strange view of what a normal weight looks like.  I am now the same size or smaller than my 'skinny' sister and am "defying" the roles we had as kids. 

One 'friend' told me I look disgusting and that BMI is a load of crap, and if I loose 5 more pounds she 'wont be my friend anymore'  (Granted she was drunk at the time).  That really hurt, and I still dwell on it a few months later.  That was probably the worst thing someone has said.... But I think as supersarah said, it all boils down to jealousy.  My friend who made the rude comments is very overweight and doesnt have the drive to stick with a program to loose it.  My mother in law is very obese and unhealthy, and she makes the rudest and meanest comments in a very passive-agressive way. 

I think my weight loss seemed easy to other people.  One day I was fat, and a few months later you could tell I was getting skinnier.  I had people HOUND me for my 'secret' and when I would tell them just eating well, cardio, weights and pilates they would NOT accept that.  I totall agree that these types of people are not "disclipled enough to do it, and want to tear you down/discourage you to make themselves feel better"....  Its just sad.

So take enjoyment in knowing that you are strong enough to reach your goals, and stay accountable to yourself.  Ignore the negative comments and people - they will try to sabotage you but if you let them, they 'win'.  I want to win by being healthy, happy and fit. 

Thank you! I just got into an argument with one of my guy friends and he was like "didn't I tell you that under 100 pounds is disgusting??" Yeah, maybe for someone of average or taller height!  I'm 5 ft tall with a very small frame, and i finally have a flat stomach! People hear a stupid number and base everything off of that and it makes me upset! But I'm not going to let it get to me, I've pretty much accomplished my goals and am happy now! I've always wanted to be on the thinner side and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I am so fortunate that I have not had to deal with this particular problem -- my family, friends, and coworkers have all been very supportive of me, and I've not felt the need to be secretive at all.

Several people have expressed surprise at how much more I plan to lose, but never in a critical way -- more that they're complimenting me by saying I don't look like my actual weight.   I don't think I "wear my weight" any better than the next person, I just think that our culture has gotten so used to seeing so many people overweight that our idea of normal has become skewed. 

I think you all have the right idea -- as long as you are being healthy and smart about your choices, then everyone else can go pound sand.  Keep up your great attitudes and great work! 

Yes, this is an ONGOING issue here -- I think I've seen at least three posts this past week. It really is terrible how UN-supportive people can be, but we just have to find it in OURSELVES. It took me YEARS to come to accept that (in every aspect of my life). You're doing it for yourself, so you'll just have to be happy for YOURSELF and know that most of the time people are just not going to be on your side. Of course, you could always try the "give and ye shall receive theory." Be supportive of THEM and give THEM compliments even though they don't do it for you. Maybe they'll catch on ... ?:)

I know i should take it as a compliment but it kinda bothers me when people tell me im thin already and that i dont need to lose weight. -- robochels

I know what you mean. I TRY my best NOT to bring it up to people. So many people are just so much larger that they can't see why YOU'RE worried about your weight and they can't be bothered with your "trivial" problems. I say 5lbs or 50lbs, it's all the same to me. When someone makes comments to me, "Oh, you're fine," I say, "That's only because I WORK my butt off to be like this -- it doesn't come naturally"; or I say "I want my clothes to fit better; they were getting a little tight."

You really do need to be secure and happy with yourself.

My biggest thing is my significant other tells me, "You could gain 10 pounds and still look fine."  Yeah, in your eyes maybe.  I however have personal fitness goals, and I enjoy keeping fit.  There is nothing wrong with that, and letting yourself slide because someone else basically told you it was okay to eat chips and ice cream every other night, never really makes you believe it's okay.

Of course, there is a line between unhealthy and healthily slim.  I like too see muscle tone, not bones.  I think people take losing weight to be a negative thing because of the media and the pressures to be "skinny".  They automatically assume you are trying to get stick thin like models and actresses. 

Just stay true to what you love doing. :)

Thank you rfoster!  I needed that, more than you know.  Kelly

Here's how I would respond to the following situations, even though I've only encountered a few: (and I still have trouble responding to these situations with a totally clear head!)

1. You know the weight you have lost is mainly water.
2. 20 pounds lost in two weeks is nearly all water.

a) I feel much better now without the bloatedness / water retention.
b) Actually, I see a significant fat reduction in my trouble spots.

3. You will never be able to maintain your goal weight.

a) Why not? I'm quite content with the lifestyle change and don't feel the need to eat junk food.
b) I'm doing well so far. Why don't you think I can maintain it?
c) Are you speaking from personal experience? 

4. Your goal weight is too lite for your frame.

a) Actually my BMI is in the low-risk/healthy range, so I think my goal is very reasonable. (of course, if you're underweight/anorexic, this should serve as a wake-up call)

5. Everyone I know who has lost more than 40 lbs. has regained nearly every pound loss.

a) I also know a whole community of people from calorie count who's maintained their weight loss for years.
b) The success really depends on the kind of diet you try. For me, it's a lifestyle change. Weight loss is just part of it.
c) So you're suggesting that I give up eating healthfully?

6. I know you have lost 50 lbs. but you will never be able to loose and keep off another 50 lbs.

a) Why not? Is there something I'm doing wrong? Or maybe you just think everyone who's trying to lose weight are weak-willed?
b) I'm satisfied with my new lifestyle. As for weight-loss, it's not my main focus, but with time, we shall see.

7. There is no way your plan will work.

a) What do you think is wrong with my plan? (listen and point out stupid fallacies/generalizations. if they DO have a point, like if you're starving urself, then you should try to hear them out too instead of getting too defensive)

8. "You dont need to loose weight" and then they smile real big......

a) My doctor said losing a few pounds would significantly reduce the risk of [insert medical condition]
b) I want to get my BMI into the healthy range.
c) I'm not deliberately trying to lose weight, but this change of lifestyle happens to result in that. It's great!
d) (once again, maybe you really don't need to lose weight. we don't approve of anorexia here!)

9. Is that healthy? As they sit there 60 lbs over weight.

a) Yes. Extensive research plus my doctor's words can't be both wrong.
b) It's certainly better than [subtly throw in something they do that's unhealthy. like getting McDonald's takeout everyday]
c) Yeah, are you interested? (only if they really seem interested)

10. You should talk to my brother in-law.  He lost 80 lbs in 4 months........bla bla bla

a) I could, but I think I will stick with my current diet because it promotes moderation in everything. I don't want to do anything extreme just to accelerate my weight loss, in case that's what your brother did.

I weighed myself this morning, and I knew it was gonna be bad.  192 lbs.  I'm almost 6 feet tall so I don't look like a "ball", but I feel like one.  Anyway,  I just read through some of these posts and I feel much better.  I've got a friend who is quite overweight and she's made that remark to me in the past... "you look fine the way you are"... I don't think she meant it unkindly, I think that she felt that compared to her, I do look fine.  Anyway, I don't feel "fine" with it and have made the commitment to eat healthy, exercise as often as I can and find something to be thankful for each day.  So thanks to you all and keep truckin'!

Some of these comments sound pretty legitimate too me in a different context.  For instance, I think it's important to know how the person has lost 80 lb over 2 weeks. I don't deny that there are plenty of mean/insensitive/rude/jealous individuals who feed on causing hurt to others, however there are also lots of people who may be genuinely concern if their friend/family member is losing weight too rapidly.

In either case, if you know what you are doing and heading steadily towards healthy lifestyle then "who cares?" indeed. 8)

This is down right eye opening.  I had no idea there were so many others who have experienced similar comments as I have in the past and present.

All the more reason to keep on doing it for ourselves.

Stay the course and WHO CARES what others think?

Keep on Blaizing!!

Thank You!!!! 

It is a shame people can be like that, but your right I am doing this for my self and WHO CARES what they think?? This is a good thing!!! I'm not going to let anyone make me feel bad about it!