Cat advice needed...

I've never started a new thread before, but I've been a member for a long time and I know there are many animal lovers here, so I thought I'd ask my question.

I have two cats.  One is a three year old spayed female, and one is an 8 month old neutered male, who is also the son of the female. 

Recently (about five weeks ago), the female started acting very strange.  She hisses and growls at the male and swats at him if he comes near her at all.  She doesn't want him to eat the same food that she eats and she doesn't even want him in the same room that she is in.  If she sees him, she instantly hisses or growls and will continue to do so until he leaves or she leaves.

I don't know what has caused this change - they were best friends before.  She has never acted like this before, even with our other cat who died almost two years ago.

Does anyone have any advice as to how I can rectify this situation?  It seems like it's getting worse.  

A good rule of thumb with children and pets is to take them for a medical check-up if they have a change in temperament or behavior.  There could be a hidden medical problem causing your cat to be irritable such as an abcess or a urinary track infection.  I would not hesitate to let the vet take a look.  Also tell the vet about the sudden relationship problem with the other cat.  It may provide an important clue to make a diagnosis.

Please let us know how things go.

Vicki

Ahhggg! This turned out to be a long post. Please ignore if you wish...

Good advice - to go to the vets. It's better to rule out medical conditions.

Since you posted that the male, (the son) is now 8 months..... it could be an issue of dominance. In the cat world (the pride), it's usually the males that dominate, the females are sub. In any multicat household... you've got potential for dominance 'take overs' or restructuring. When young, the kittens are ruled by the mother cat. But at some point, that has to change.

(FYI, I've been in stray rescue, fostering and cats... for all of my life. )

In a cat household with humans (smile)... usually one of the humans becomes the 'topcat' (or should!). Next, the cat with the sassiest personality, ornery-ist disposition or the larger male will jockey for position as "topcat2". My guess is, that the son is growing up and starting to 'assert' himself over his dam. She's not really happy about losing control, and is contesting it. If that IS what's going on, you will see more hissing, spitting - chasing and biting until the two of them figure it out, and mutually agree on who's going to be topcat2. After that, you'll have no problems.

My advice would be: If the vet says there's no medical problems... bring them home and let them continue on. Establishing dominance patterns is a natural part of their species. To stop them is actually counter productive and hinder's them figuring out their places. A few bites and scratches are no big thing, but... should they go so far overboard as to really draw flowing blood... then you might want to give them a cool down period.

I have no wish to offend or bore you, but I don't know if you know these few pointers: 

Should cats really get into a major, claws-locked-on fight, biting and scratching.. please do not attempt to directly intervene (like trying to pick a cat up, or kick them, or get between them...). You could get severely bitten or scratched because they are in a frenzy and don't recognize you. Instead try distracting them by squirting them with a squirt bottle (water only!), clapping your hands, or shaking a rattle. Using your tone of voice to carry the message of 'back off'- but don't scream at them in panic. 

(Over the years, I've learned how to create my topcat persona, and can usually deal with misbehaving kitties with just my voice inflection and word choice. But if that fails, I always have my topcat way of physically restraining/disengaging. You'll learn too, what works for you. )

Next, if they've had a knock-down, drag out... it might be best to put them in 'time out' for a short time. Basically, decide ahead of time which other room in your house has a door, and can be used to sequester one cat away from the other. Don't use a closet or small space. It's really bad (abusive) to put a cat or dog into a small, closed off space (dog crates are not enclosed with full walls, airless, sightless). Animals can get very claustrophobic. Put one of the kitties in a bedroom or even a large bathroom if need be. Make sure they have water. They'll get thirsty as they calm down.

Remember that you're not punishing them, you are just giving them some space/distance and allowing them to calm down. Don't take 'sides' and favor one kitty over the other - but definately DO check each animal over for fight wounds that may need a little TLC or medical attention. When they are calmed down enough for them to recognize you and accept your touch - then you can stroke and talk to each animal, calmly and with lots of love... that will calm them down further.

Be assured. With dominance issues, usually after a time, the two cats decide between them who is boss and who is not. Since hierachy is a natural thing to kitties, they'll behavior much better when they get it all straightened out.

But first, check with the vet.....on all things medical!

regards, she-who-currently-has-seven-cats,

kim

My friend had a smiliar issue with two cats of hers.  Mother and son continuing to live together. She was told the reaction was occuring because in nature, said son shoud be leaving the nest, not sticking aorund, so the mother was reacting that way in an attempts to get him to leave.  Eventually everything evened out and they became more tolerable of each other. 

i would also take the advice of having the checked out to be sure of course there is no medical issue. all the above adive is excellent and just thought  I would add my two cents.

This might sound totally weird, but when I brought my second cat into the household, she was a pushy little princess, so as to attempt a soothing transition, I used Feliway. Its a cat pheromone(synthetic) that allows them to feel secure and safe. Just another option of many.

Good Luck!!!

Original Post by abbeyhunter:

My friend had a smiliar issue with two cats of hers.  Mother and son continuing to live together. She was told the reaction was occuring because in nature, said son shoud be leaving the nest, not sticking aorund, so the mother was reacting that way in an attempts to get him to leave.  Eventually everything evened out and they became more tolerable of each other. 

This is my guess.

I hope you and your cats are doing okay.  Just wanted to let you know that I have two cats that basically went through the same thing.  When the younger cat turned about 2-3 years old, she wanted to be boss, I guess.  My older cat is very shy and only wanted to hide from her but she wouldn't let him and ,need I say, there was a lot of fur flying!   After a vet visit, which showed they were both healthy and fine, I just let them figure it out on their own.  I love both my cats very much and didn't want to give up on them, so I just dealt with the cat fights for about a year!  Now they are fine, not best friends or anything but they tolerate each other without fighting.  They eat and sleep in the same room and sometimes sit next to each other and that's all I can ask for.  Just give your cats lots of time and love and I'm sure they will be fine.   

Thank you all for your advice!

I am going to call the vet tomorrow to make an appointment for both, just in case.

I'm very relieved that other people have had this same issue and have "made it through," so to speak.  I love both of our cats very much and it really breaks my heart to see the female getting furious at the male. 

I'll keep you posted as I find out what's going on - but now I think (hope) it's probably going to end up being simply a domination issue.

Thank you again, fellow cat lovers!

You should really try changing their food.  What do you feed them now?  I know that an animal on a very healthy diet improves in both physical health but also behavior as well.

Your vet doesn't get much food training and will probably tell you to try Science Diet, but it really isn't the best for your animal.  I've gone through extensive pet food training, so if you have any questions about it, just message me and I can give you a better idea of what your cats should be eating.