Posts by butterflymelody

I know exactly what you mean when you say that you're not willing to recover when you don't believe that it's not bad enough, because I feel exactly the same way.

I have been diagnosed with Anorexia by a doctor, but it hasn't really made a difference. At the time I was in denial and didn't believe that I had a problem, so when he turned around and said that I was Anorexic, I just sat there and slowly nodded my head - it didn't sink in because I didn't agree with him. That was about 3 months ago, and since then I've continued to lose weight, even though I was apparently at a weight where I couldn't "afford to lose anymore". At the moment my BMI is 15, but I still don't feel as though I'm at a stage where it's bad enough for me to have to recover. The fact is, no matter how much weight you lose and how bad it gets, you'll still retain some of the mind-set that tells you that nothing is wrong and that you don't need to recover.

Trust me, you don't need a professional to diagnose you with Anorexia for it to become serious - it is already serious, and you do need to recover. :) I don't necessarily agree with people who say, "you're at a stage where you have a chance to recover, but if you sink in any deeper, then you won't be able to get out"; I don't believe that there is a time limit when it comes to eating disorders. Just because Person A has only had an ED for a year, that doesn't mean their ED is any less serious than someone who's had it for 8 years. I suppose that's why I don't feel as though I need recovery yet, as I've only had this ED for half a year.

"The problem is that I'm trying to recover so my goal amount of calories is 2300, but I've only been eating 1200.  Always making excuses."
- Exactly, exactly, exactly. It's like you're literally in exactly the same boat as me. o__0; At the moment, I'm supposed to be eating 3 meals a day, aiming for about 800cals (I know that's pretty pathetic for "recovery", but I used to make sure I never went over 150cals, so I'm working my way towards a higher intake ^_^). In reality, I only eat a bit of cereal in the morning, and then I pretend to eat my lunch and dinner. There are some days when I can just about stomach lunch, but I find I just can't make myself eat 3 meals... I was doing well enough, but recently I've just... Relapsed, I suppose. :/ *sigh*

But this isn't about me, heh. :P The fact is, your BMI is 17.6 - so you are underweight. Whatever, it may not be 12/13/14/15, etc., but that doesn't make it any less serious. What matters is that you are suffering with this ED, and you do need help. *hugs*

Sorry for my essay. >_< I didn't intend on writing that much, but... Eh, I talk too much really. :P

Anyway, good luck with everything. Feel free to message me for anything if you want. :)

I guess I can understand why someone would be offended, but I think it's sort of nice when you're recovering and can actually laugh about it to a small extent... We don't want recovery to be a complete bitch, right? ^_~

I know exactly what you mean when you say that eating a lot of smaller things feels worse than eating one calorific thing... I'm currently trying recovering from anorexia, and at the moment, it's weird because I feel as though if I eat a salad, a fruit and a few rice cakes, it's almost worse than eating 2 chocolate biscuits or something, even though the calories would probably be around the same; it's just because it's more food. :/

Anyway, I'm happy to see that you're recovering from anorexia and are making progress. ^_^ It gives me hope. :] If you don't have a problem with junk food, crisps, ice cream and chocolate can help up your calories... But then if you also suffered with bulimia, then I don't suggest upping your calories via junk food. I've tried to do that myself, and it just makes me want to be sick. >_< Nuts and raisins have quite a lot of calories in them. Raisins are probably the best thing, because they're a fruit, and you don't have to eat very many to get your calories up. :)

http://www.healthassist.net/food/300kcal/big- img/raisins.jpg

There's a picture of 300cals worth of raisins. It may look like a lot, but you don't have to eat it all in one go, if you're desperate to get your calories up.
If you're going to go for fruit, banana is probably the best option as a medium sized one has around 120cals... Oh, and there's cheese! That has a lot of calories! ^_^

Hope I helped. :] And good luck with everything! <3

I know how tough recovery can be - I'm attempting to go through recovery at the moment. I say "attempting" because although there are days when I do fairly well, there are also the days when I simply can't bring myself to eat. >_< But I suppose the fact that I'm trying and am aware that I need help is a start. :)

First of all, it's great that you were able to tell your friends. If counselling isn't for you, then don't force yourself to go through with it. It's not good to bottle things up, and no matter what, you shouldn't feel as though you aren't able to talk to your friends about what you're going through. They're there for you. :] Even if they do seem to get a little annoyed at times, it's only because they care. I know this because my best friend gets annoyed periodically, but she's still always there for me when I need her. ^.^ I can imagine it must be frustrating to see your friend essentially starving themself, and even though you want to help, you can't really... Not immediately, anyway.

If you ever need to talk to anyone, feel free to send me a message. :3 It's always nice to know that someone else is going through the same thing as you... Okay, maybe "nice" wasn't the best choice of words. :/ But it's comforting to know that someone else understands... :]