Posts by naskigi

katie: Nope, no new meds as of right now (and keeping my fingers crossed it stays that way). I know about the b/c hunger thing, though, I tried a few pills this past year to see if we could start my period again (I've have ammenorrhea for almost 3 years). However, I've been really good lately about exercising a bit less and getting proper nutrition, and my body's starting to give me signals like I might be trying to menstruate again. So I'm thinking my hunger's a good combo of all of these. I'm not worried, just not necessarily in the know right now as to what's going on inside my body. It's interest, haha.

ecwk: Height insecurity? I feel you there! I used to have it really bad. Now I think being tall is empowering. :]

I normally have bps around 90/60-100/70. It's annoying, cause I'm healthy as a horse, but I have the same problems. If I don't eat 2-3 hours, or if I'm happening to give blood for a blood test, I drop like a rock. My doctor said the days when I feel particularly dizzy and "ick-ish" and my blood sugar isn't being whacky, I should actually INCREASE my sodium intake. But, like these lovely people said, it depends on the cause of low bp. If you're dehydrated, sodium alone probably won't do much for you and make you more dehydrated. I know I've been hospitalized several times when I was dehydrated, and my bp would dip down to the 50s...and I was drinking 8+ glasses of water a day. KEEP DRINKING.

Perhaps focus more more on restoring electrolytes. I know I have to have a good potassium:sodium:magnesium balance to feel good. Dietwise.... I take multi-vitamins, Vitamin D, and Calcium. I drink coffee in the morning, about 2-3 cups.  I find getting a good vitamin drink or two in the day helps. (Vitamin Water 10, G2, Sobe Lifewater). I eat my Omega-3s with pride, try to eat as close to fresh produce as possible. I'm also starting to drink a lot of tea later on in the day, and I'm finding I feel a lot more replenished. Antioxidants are a wonderful thing.

Hope you could pick and choose some things that help you. :]

Hey Guys,

So doing pretty well here. Yesterday I had my first day of classes. I ended up being up from 6:30 am- 11/11:30 pm. Kinda sad to say that's a familiar routine...but at the same time I like being busy. Today's gonna be like that on steroids o_o. 3 classes all over campus starting at 1 pm with 15 minute intervals to get between all of them, and then a 15 minute interval to get to my workstudy job until 7:30. And then a meeting at 9:15pm. Ohhhh bed will feel good tonight, haha.

Figuring out maitenence might be a test in patience here. I struggled with night-eating (waking up after going to sleep in the middle of the night and eating a bunch) at the beginning of last year. My nutritionist explained I probably started doing it because my body wasn't getting enough calories during the day... but then it kinda became habit. I've been struggling with my calorie levels/mindset to get it straightened out this past summer. And I've been having relative success in the past 2 weeks... until last night.

I was pretty diligent, too. I didn't skimp, ate what my body craved...and went to bed satisfied. I thought I got a decent amount of calories with good protein-carb-fat ratios (2,300 ish...I did about 40 minutes cardio, some weights, and then ran around campus all day...hmm) I think last night's eating session was half anxiety about my busy schedule today. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna weedle food into the time I have alotted for me. Lol, I'll be living off granola bars and hardboiled eggs on Tuesdays and Thursdays methinks XD.

I think I'm gonna use the locks on my minifridge at night...so if I'm truly hypoglycemic I'll have to actually get up and find them. If I have the midnight munchies...usually I'm just half asleep, can wait until morning, and go back to sleep with a little coaxing. Again, if I'm truly hungry, I'll have to find the keys.

Bah, okay, enough with the bantering. Time to start the day. Hope all of yours goes well!

i think chrissy's OP basically hits the nail on the head. after maintaining in relatively the same range for almost 4 months- and within 10 pounds of the weight I'm currently at for 2 years (even with an ED and all it's complications), I'm starting to think my body's found it's "happy spot". i'm really trying to switch over to intuitive eating/living, and have been practicing it this past summer. my body hasn't left a pretty tight window around 140-142. sure, i do count calories still, but i don't let the amount on the screen dictate whether or not i should eat an extra snack or not if my body's telling me i'm hungry.

it's taken a LOT of practice. i still have to be pretty vigilant about trying to get 3 square meals a day, and maintaining proper nutrition because I went a long time without hunger signals (which are starting to come back...slowly) and because I'm trying to restore my body to a point where I can have my period again. (sorry if this is tmi, but it's real life ;p) But from what I've experienced with my time in maintainance is that my body does a lot of the work for me. If I get nearer to 145, I find that I have more energy, move a lot more consequentially, and maybe eat a bit less because my appetite's not as big. I don't really restrict calories at all...but an ED has made that a taboo subject, and I find I don't really need to. I seem to return to right around 140. Honestly, I don't give too much credit to diets anymore after having been through the whole system since I was 14. It screws you up in way too many ways. On the flipside, I notice if I get anywhere near 138, I've got more ANXIOUS energy, get tired really easy, my blood sugar tends to be all over the place, and I'm pretty hungry on a consistant basis.

So all I can suggest is listen to your body, folks! It knows the business. As a friend once told me "Our body's weren't made to self-destruct".

:]

Hey Linz,

I've been in the EXACT same situation since last year. It's slowly improving for me, but without a little more background about your eating habits/ when this started, I dunno if I can give much advice. Definitely up for support buddy, though!

-naskigi

lol, yup, i guess. no, i haven't been diagnosed with diabetes, but i come from a long line of type on both sides of my family, and was borderline diabetic for a time when i was 13 when i was about 257 pounds. i'm around 140-145 now and have to eat healthfully, so needless to say the weight/dietary factor is not the problem here, but i may be very well predisposed to having insulin problems and amennorheic PCOS because of my hereditary history. it's still something my endo and I are trying to figure out because my eating disorder primarily manifests itself in exercise bulimia...which we both know, too much exercise can lead to ammenorhea.

so i would honestly ask a professional, my dear, and be honest with yourself and them about your activity level. topically, it looks like a relatively good amount, but here are a few things to consider:

1. how much time do you spend in the gym each session?

2. how intense are your sessions?

3. how active are you in general?

if you want to keep in touch, i'd love to give you my e-mail/facebook (i'm rarely on CC- i use another site to track but come here occasionally for the wonderful parts of the forum). we can be buddies as we try to figure this out. :]

hey superlovers,

i've read some of your past posts. it seems like we're twins in a lot of ways, just in different timeframes. i've had complications with blood sugar for a good part of my childhood/adolescence, so i hope maybe i can share something that will help.

i lost my periods about 2 1/2 years ago due to eating disordered behaviors with exercise while i was losing weight from being an overweight child/teenager. i had already lost a significant amount of weight over 2 years, unknowingly eating well below what i should have. before my weight loss, i had been diagnosed with insulin resistance/pcos. i proceeded to continue my rigorous, but albeit unknowing restriction along with a pretty rigorous workout routine, and lost about another 25-30 pounds within the span of 5-6 months. i ended up about 135-138 lbs at 5'9". my dieticians and endocronologist basically told me i was starving myself, needed to eat more, and that i was underweight. medical guidelines dictated that i couldn't be diagnosed with anorexia, even though i was showing a lot of symptoms, because my weight was not low enough (the low limit is 125 lbs for my height). i honestly believe that i am underweight at that level, even though it's just a few pounds below where i am now. i felt so sick and lacking energy, and notice the same symptoms whenever i dip back down there. it took a pretty severe gym accident for me to become willing to admit my warped relationship with food and start recovery, but i didn't take it seriously enough in my first year and kept playing around with calorie levels and not stabilizing my weight.

i started recognizing my hypoglycemia for what it was about 3 months after i admitted my problem. i had told my endo about the dizzy feelings, and subsequent binging i had all the time, and she gave me a blood sugar meter. sure enough the results showed biggggg dips in blood sugar levels. i had to start getting serious about my meal plans, and started a regimen that gave me enough calories, good ratios of protein:fat:slow-acting carbs measured out over about 6 meals a day.

if any of this sounds familiar, or if you miss another period, you should seriously consider getting in with a doctor at least. lost periods over a 3 month span indicate a female body in distress...or pregnancy, haha, but that varies by an individual to individual basis. you seem like a pretty smart gal, if you think that the amennorhhea might be caused by your dietary habits, please please please try to assess the problem now. if you need any more encouragement, take it from someone who know: i waited too long on the weight restoration and adequate nutrition balance with activity levels; now, even though my weight is relatively stable and at a healthier spot, i'm decreasing my activity, and getting adequate nutrition each day, i still get hypoglycemia and my ob-gyn/endo says that my pituitary hormone levels are still so low that it's likely i won't be able to get my period without birth control (which reacts badly with me because i'm super-sensitive to medication for some reason- oy gevalt i'm a mess!).

so please, if you're looking for encouragement in all these posts to get serious about this, please take this as an earnest insentive.

much love and support,

naskigi

Original Post by albobaby:

No offense to anyone here but this thread has really upset me!  No one's fault but holy heck!  I am just scrapping 5'9" and currently weigh in at 179, down from a high of 295.4 just a short 11 months ago! My goal is to weigh between 160-165 which would put me in a comfortable size 8 (US size).  I am currently in a size 10 (US size) which is the smallest I have been in my adult life.  Maybe being so big for so long has distorted my view of things but at 179 I look pretty good (dare I say hot?? lol or at least that's what I have been told)!  I can't imagine what I will look like at 165 or even 160.  There is no fat left on my upper body to begin with.  I have lost 2 cup sizes in my bra and can fit comfortably into a medium top.  I am very pear shaped and carry the majority of my weight in my hips, butt and thighs. 

I wonder now whether my "goal" is too high?? I can't imagine myself at 150 or 140??  Maybe I should be?

You know what, girl, if you're confident, happy, and healthy go for the weight that you feel good at. Don't give in to what the popular standard is if it doesn't feel right to you. :]

I'm here to back up missmagill and show that the proof is in the pudding so to speak.

You guys shouldn't be looking to shoot below 1500. I'd recommend 1800 for most of you with exercise for a small deficit IF YOU TRULY need to lose weight. I mean like dr's recommendations.

Take it from somebody who knows. I used to be 257, and lost almost all of it through a 1200 calorie diet. Over the span of 4 years, I developed a binging and exercise bulimia problem that I'm still trying to get out of. Looking back at my eating habits, it really doesn't surprise me. I swung around to the other end of the spectrum, and got a little underweight for my frame. At my lowest I was 132, 5'9", with a relatively big frame.

What missmagill says about not depriving your body is ESSENTIAL. It truly is still growing. I thought I was done growing at 5'8 3/4...I stayed there for about 3 years when I was loosing weight. During this past year during my caloric restoration/ gaining weight, I started acknowleging (albeit sometimes unwillingly) that I couldn't afford such a huge deficit anymore- truth be told my body won't let me anymore. So I started eating more, moderating my exercise, and WHAMO! Last height measurement I got I was 5'9" 1/2.

You guys need nutrition. Bone health, regular periods, general energy...take it from somebody who's learned the hard way and enjoy taking care of yourself.

P.S.: BMI is a good basic calculation, but not anywhere near ideal for what you need for health or a prediction of what you will look like. Currently around 142, 5'9", with a bmi of 21. Profile pictures are current. Eat calorically cycling according to appetite, usually averaging between 1800-2500 a day. At a bmi of 19.5 I looked and felt sick. Be good to yourself.

Sweetheart,

1. These people are all right. You need to eat more food. I remember when I was first realizing I had an eating disorder, I had intense fear of grains, too, because I was afraid of binging. Maybe you can start incorporating more carbs that don't seem so prevalently carb-y/ grain-y? Lentil and beans are a good source of carb, fiber, and calories (annnnd up your protein, since you're a veg) without feeling too weighty on your stomach. For some sources of alternative carbs only, maybe try corn/popcorn/potatoes at first. That's how I had to go before I was able to feel truly comfortable with ingesting carbs besides fruit. Then came cheerios, rice, etc. Just a slow incorporation as I felt ready.


2. You do realize the weight you're trying to achieve will bring you to a bmi of 18.7? I know some people function very well at lower weights, but maybe you should honestly assess how you feel now. How's your energy levels, menstruation, etc? The one important thing I learned in recovery (and still am learning), is that if we ever want to be free from ED behaviors, we kind of have to accept the weight our body wants to be at with a reasonable eating pattern that sustains our energy level.

3. As many of the girls before said, muscle matters ALOT more than the weight on the scale. I'm struggling to accept this myself. I'm currently 5'9", and somewhere around 140-145. That number bothers me way too much to be healthy, because I cognitively know I'm not big-set at all (i.e.: I'm fitting into size 1-2 aeropostale genes and I feel like an elephant a lot of the time...can you say body dysmorphic insanity?!)

After struggling with this quite badly for my entire year in college, I've come to realize that if we're gonna feel any better about ourselves, it's GOTTA start from the inside. Outside renovation doesn't fix a crumbling foundation.

I can totally relate to the ammenorhea side of things. It's extremely frustrating. I'm currently trying to maintain an "uncomfy" for my ED to try and see if it comes back, and work on my habits. It's pretty intense because it leaves you exposed to a lot emotions.

If you need to talk, I'm here.

(Warning: May be a bit triggering, I dunno)

Hey Guys,

I know it's been a while since I've checked in. Things have been going pretty go. I really feel like I'm making a lot of progress ED and health-wise.

It was kind of a tumultuous relationship with my calories needs over Thanksgiving break. I'd consistently wake up during the night to stuff my face, even though I thought I was eating properly during the day. After about a month of groaning, moaning, wondering what the hell was going on, I put on about 6 pounds, to give me a weight of about 138-140 pounds. Much healthier for my 5'9" height. Given, it was a basically unwilling 6 pounds, but I have to admit now that I feel a WHOLE lot better.

So now for this past month. This has been a revolutionary time for me. I feel like I'm letting go of my ED/ my ED doesn't have so much control over me. After several nights of actually tracking my eating, including my "binging", I found that my body would consistently biologically WANT to hit at least 60-70 grams of fat and around 2300-2500 calories a day....no matter what I wanted mentally. After I hit that point, I felt like I could fall asleep and stay asleep. Maybe it's just what my body needs to maintain?

So I've been testing this theory. For the past few days, I've really been trying to hit that goal of 60-70 grams of fat and 2500. What's more is I HAVEN'T been overexercising to compensate, and I'm slowing really far down with my purging behaviors. What a new feeling! It's really kind of scary in a way, because I'm not sure if this calorie level is going to cause me to gain anymore or not. But at the same time, I've got this SANE thinking (again, what a strange new feeling) that says my body might even need a few more pounds to start my period. And now, I'm not so afraid of the amount of weight I might need to gain to do that. It's just kind of disconcerting with all of this CHANGE. I guess I just need some reassurance that it's okay.

Yesterday was another revolutionary day. I was kind of in a perpetual state of hunger. So I just ATE whatever my body felt like eating. And you know what, at the end of the day, I hit 70 grams of fat and I was out like a light! I wanted to post my plate up to get you girls'/guys' opinion on it:

Breakfast (about 7 or 8 am): -1 whole wheat english muffin

-1 string cheese

-1/2 cup oatmeal

-1 tbs peanut butter

-6 oz lowfat plain yogurt

-1 med-large banana

Lunch(11:30- salad sampler from dining hall):
-some chicken/shrimp
-roasted root vegetables, broccoli salad, sesame pea salad in their various light oils
-lettuce/salad greens
-balsamic vinegar and a little extra o.o. (maybe 1-2 tsp)

Afternoon snack(2:00):

-2 scoops ben and jerry's low fat frozen yogurt on a sugar cone :o

Afternoon snack(4:00):

-About half a bag of 94% fat free popcorn

Dinnertime(5:30ish):

-1/2 oz tortilla chips and salsa
-1 english muffin
-1 string cheese
-lean cuisine tortilla crusted parmesan fish
-6 oz nonfat yogurt

Evening snack (8:30):

-1/2 cup oatmeal
-1 med-large apple
-1 tbs pb

Evening snack (11:30-12ish...went to see naked bike ride, a university tradition! so funny! so much fun):

-another 1/2 oz tortilla chips

-4 wasa crackers

-1 string cheese

-maybe 3 ozish canned chicken?

and then I was out like a light!

Here's my stats from the day:

3,068 calories

75 g fat

453 g of carb and 134g of sugar :o... yeah I kinda feel a little eh about that. oh well, just focus a little bit more on the protein today right?

166g of protein

With my exercise calories deducted: around 2,400- 2,500 cal

Is this okay?

Heyyyy sweetie,

Like the above posters said, you're probably at an ideal if not underweight size for your frame. You DON'T need to lose anymore weight. Take the suggestions of the other posters...work on muscle strength.

I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm 5'9 and about 132-134 pounds (and I'm demonstrating UNDERWEIGHT symptoms, I'm probably going to have to gain weight). My stomach does the pizza dough thing, too, but it's allllll loose skin. Did you lose a significant amount of weight? I know that some days it's really hard for me to not believe it's fat, but I've talked with several doctors who say that fat has a much more jiggly but solid consistency. So while the "doughboy" syndrome is annoying, it DOES NOT mean you need to loose more weight. <3