Posts by hnierenb

I don't have anything to add, but I am in your EXACT situation. As a female, there is no difference in the mental fight to avoid bingeing and also build muscle.  Either way, for those people that DO NOT calorie count and weight-train they eat what they feel is healthy enough for their goal results and they EVENTUALLY achieve the results they are looking for. Yes, calorie counting makes it easier and makes the goal more achievable, but it does not change anything in the long run.  I don't know about you, but calorie counting gets so annoying that you eventually want to stop and either trust yourself or make sure you make wise decisions, so that you don't have to CONSTANTLY log EVERY DARN THING lol.

 In short, the term bingeing sounds so negative, so if you want to call whatever you overate a "binge" then you are going to feel worse about it; trust me.  Indulge in what you want, but not everyday.  Don't punish yourself or you will continue to find yourself searching for forums/creating forums and question your actions and get similar responses.  In the end, you will not solve anything unless you remove that mental roadblock of thoughts.  Just try it : )

aniczek, you are right about that.  I kept denying the fact that FOOD is the ONE thing I CAN control.  It is difficult to comprehend what it means, because you rightfully want to shun the idea of something so "pathetic", but it is true.  I am dealing with it RIGHT NOW.  Uggghh, the CONSTANT urges to eat/under eat because I THINK that this is the ONLY way to FIX myself.  When I say FIX myself, I mean retrain my brain and my stomach.  I honestly, do not know if I am doing myself any better.  

I actually just started speaking to a psychiatrist. At first I did not want to do this, but I decided that I needed to make a change.  You may be thinking, hmm, ok, maybe I can do this, but where do I start to get help?  Well, use your toolbar and SEARCH.  

We are all here to give you suggestions and aid your quest for a better life that is free of bulimic and anorexic behavior : ).  You must realize that YOU have to seek out help.  These forums can only do so much.  Reading is helpful but TALKING and GOING out for help is what will make the difference.  We do not know how to help, we can just give you advice because most of us have either been in your situation/feel bad about the pain you are going through.

best of luck.

As the other memebers have already said, since you haven't given us any detail we don't know where to begin. . . I can tell you that I vented last night because I am so tired of this cycle of letting food overtake ANY happiness that I have.  It's ridiculous to allow something so insignificant and silly to RUN your life.  Basically, today is the beginning to an 8 week test (I chose 8 weeks because it's not too short and not too long of a goal) to see if I can combat my emotional eating and truly LISTEN to my body's needs.  I hope that I am giving you some helpful advice : /.  

Also, last night when I made my post, I felt AWFUL, so terrible that I felt ALONE, DISGUSTED and EXHAUSTED mentally and physically from this ongoing cycle I have put myself through. . . I was at an all-time-LOW. Within in an hour, people started leaving me posts and I felt relief and did not feel as alone.  I have friends and I am sure you do too, but it is funny how EASY it is to feel so alone and feel like you don't have anybody to turn to.  The truth is, your friends are there and willing to listen to you, you just have to realize that they don't know what is bothering you because they can't read your mind. . .open yourself up to friends and family.  

Please understand that there is NO "perfect body". You know that saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder?"  Well, it is TRUE.  Lets say you are out with your friends and a REALLY hot guy walks by and you automatically say, "hmmm, he's really cute!" But your friend says "who, him?  haha, definitely not!"  See, what you think and what someone else thinks don't relate.  The same thing goes for a girl.  "Perfect"  is whatever YOU think is "perfect."  I really don't even like the word because it is IMPOSSIBLE to achieve.  Like when you think of the work "perfectionist."  You simply cannot have EVERYTHING the way you want it.  Believe me, I have tried and FAILED lol.  You are so young, as am I, and should know that life is to be ENJOYED, we only have ONE, right? 

Continue to vent and incorporate NEW ways of thinking and making goals for yourself, REALISTIC goals.  Each day is going to be different, whether it is easier or harder, it's NEVER going to be the same.  Eating a SET AMOUNT of calories; I cannot HIT the EXACT amount I decide to eat. . .I try to be as meticulous as possible (trying not to use the word perfect, since it does not exist lol)  and either going under or WAAAAAYYY over. For instance, I decided that along with my 8 weeks test, I am going to begin P90X and see how I can transform my body. (I personally LOVE muscle and think it's pretty darn cool)  I do NOT plan on looking like a bodybuilder, BUT I do want to see IF I can stick to this 90-day program and achieve a look that I have always admired (I used to dance competitively for 8 years and had REALLY toned legs and LOST it over the years : (. )  We could try it together!?

Enough about me, Take a DEEP breath in and let it OUT and get out of the house, call a friend, go shopping, plan a trip, DISTRACT yourself from these negative pestering thoughts.

I have seen several doctors.  I made sure to get my blood checked for any abnormalities, last month, and everything came back normal.  I went to my gyno and he said that it is probably NOT BF related, most likely stress related.  I had blood tests to check my prolactin levels and other levels related to amenorrhea.  I don't know what is wrong with me.... I seriously can see/feel the weight I have put on, and I do like the way I look right now. . .BUT How do I go about figuring what MY body needs to get my period back?  I hope I don't sound dumb, but I am looking for any suggestions. : (