Posts by petitoiseau

Recovery is absolutely possible for everyone. If, that is, they want to face the painful truth of what caused their eating disorder in the first place. And I mean really face it.

Speaking from my own experience, food is not the answer to recovery. It is the question being posed to you, by yourself, asking you to pay attention to what's going on inside of you, alerting you that something is terribly wrong.

I find it strange when people refer to their ED as another being, almost as if it were an existence separate from themselves. Your ED is you, trying to let you know something, but some people just don't want to listen. It is easier, after all, to succumb to the daily drama of feeling fat and obsessing over how many calories something has. That way, your head and heart are so full that there's no room for anything or anyone else to cause you pain! It's nice, you know, if you like living a half-life.

Ah, amenorrhea.

I've never had a regular period (sometimes skipping when under a lot of stress or eating improperly), but I lost my period altogether for over a year when I was anorexic. And let me tell you, I had a hell of a time trying to get it back :(

Apparently, if the body goes without a period for too long, it "forgets" to keep having it! Don't worry though, with hormone injections and birth control pills, it is possible to bring it back.

However, it is not good to not have your period for too long. Despite the pain and misery they bring with them, hormones do loads of good things for your body, and going without them too long can cause a lot of problems, especially bone loss and infertility. They say every woman who has ever suffered from amenorrhea has sustained some degree of bone loss.

Your problem could be due to any number of things: overexercising, low body weight, poor diet, even polycystic ovarian syndrome... so you need to go to the doctor and have your hormone levels checked as soon as possible. I can't stress the seriousness of this enough! Hope you get back on track soon :)

I'm sure it's different for everyone, but the one surefire way for me to gain weight is to eat too much sugar. Cutting it out not only makes me feel better, but it also makes my eczema calm down (who knew?).

Anyway, as to your question about why sugar makes you fat:

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Sugar-Makes-You -Fat&id=205846

I understand you completely. One time, I ordered a non-fat latte at a cafe, and the barista gave me a DEATH stare! Granted, I was actually anorexic at the time, but still

I wouldn't doubt an occasional diet/regular soda mix-up. Pretty much all of my friends who have worked at Starbucks or another coffee shop say that when they're really busy, they'll use full-fat milk or whatever they have on hand, even if the customer asks for skim! Yikes! Yet another reason why I order soy milk...

Oh, dear :( I've read that people with such serious withdrawal symptoms are the ones who need to steer clear of coffee the most; they are the ones who are most susceptible to its negative side effects. I think once you get it out of your system entirely, you'll see a lot of your health problems disappear. I'm willing to bet that both your acid reflux and stomach ulcer were being caused by the coffee.

There is an array of lovely teas out there that I highly suggest you try if you miss having a cup of something hot in the morning. My favorites: (good) Japanese green tea, anything from Mariage Freres, oolong tea, and jasmine tea.

Hope you feel better soon!!

I'm with you on this one! Some days it feels like my hunger is bottomless, and then on others, I barely eat a thing. I think it's pretty normal, but I sure would like to know what our bodies are up to!

Today's one of the not hungry days for me... I've only eaten around 600 calories, and I don't even want dinner. Blech.

I don't know why it's no longer working for you, or why you would want to only eat one meal a day, but from my personal experience, it wasn't until I started eating 3 small meals a day (versus two big ones, and feeling horribly hungry and dizzy in between) that I lost a lot of weight.

I really enjoy reading books and articles by Geneen Roth. Not only is she hilariously funny, but she focuses on emotions and the reasons behind the way you eat without being trite or maudlin. I picked up "When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull up a Chair" a few months ago and thoroughly enjoyed it, but you can read some of her articles online, too:

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/author-bio/ab out-geneen-roth

http://www.geneenroth.com/articles_interviews .php

It sounds contradictory, but salt is almost always added to sweet foods to bring out their sweetness. Nearly every single recipe for baked goods calls for a pinch of salt--and believe me, you can taste the difference. That's probably why chocolate (or caramel) and sea salt is a common flavor combination.

It's a common misconception to identify eating disorders separately, a la "I was an anorexic, but now I'm a bulimic." The reality, however, is that all the different manifestations of disordered eating form a continuum in which people can swing from one kind to another. This is why anorexics sometimes turn into overeaters, others both purge and starve, etc.

What does it mean for you to be able to say "I recovered from anorexia" when you still have other disordered eating patterns? In my case, "recovery" means more than just "I stopped starving myself." I've accepted the fact that I'll never be completely "normal" about food; food and my body will always be a sensitive subject for me. But for me, recovery means not being scared of food anymore, not letting food control my life and dominate my thoughts, and most importantly, being kind to my body and doing what's best for it.

I'm not quite there yet, but I'm trying hard every day. I wish the best of luck to you, too :)

I had your exact same problem--from restricting to binging, then literally being unable to lose the weight because I couldn't diet anymore. Anytime I'd go on a diet or think about losing weight, it would last for maybe a day or two then I would go back to eating horribly.

I think that on some level, I was scared of lapsing back into restrictive eating and my state of mind at the time, so subconsciously, binging was a way I could somehow "protect" myself from becoming anorexic again. When I realized that I wanted to lose weight FOR myself (because I like feeling lighter and my clothes fit better) and I wasn't trying to deprive myself of anything, eating less wasn't a struggle anymore.

Maybe you're having a similar problem? Hope my experience gives you some insight into your own.

Lots of reasons: I feel more comfortable in my body when I'm thinner, exercising is easier, clothes fit better. Also, I live in Japan, where everyone is super-skinny and there is a lot of pressure to be thin. Blech!

In terms of weight loss, I see nothing wrong with it, but as gi-jane pointed out, it may leave you feeling dissatisfied. Also, constantly eating is terrible for your teeth, if you're at all prone to getting cavities.

I live in Japan, and soy is one of the staples of the cuisine, and thought to be very good for one's health. Asians have been eating it for hundreds (thousands?) of years with no recorded side effects.

I can't figure out why so many people are so determined to prove that soy is evil. Maybe they've never had good tofu? Japanese tofu is so yummy and delicate, much different from anything I've had overseas. That, or maybe all the studies are funded by the dairy industry.

It really wouldn't be an exaggeration to say I've had issues with food/body image my entire life. In the end, I have no one to blame but myself, but there were definitely several factors influencing my not-so-normal relationship with food:

1. EDs are genetic, and unfortunately, my mother has suffered from EDs her whole life--from anorexia, to bulimia, to overeating. The whole spectrum.

2. Never being taught portion control, or shown proper portion sizes.

3. Being provided with tons and tons of junk food, but no real home cooking. Neither of my parents cook, so we often ate out or got fast food.

4. No exercise.

5. Loving good food, plain and simple.

I don't know why, but I've always had this sick obsession with myself being "skinny," and beating myself up when I wasn't. At 5'5", I stayed around 135-145lbs (BMI 22.5-23.8) for most of my youth, but being surrounded by little waifs in middle and high school constantly made me feel self-conscious about my weight. Halfway through college, I finally decided to start losing weight healthfully. And I did; I lost 13 lbs over the course of 5 or so months through exercise and smaller portions.

My junior year in college was a time of unbelievable emotional and mental stress for me, however, and a bunch of factors led me to seriously decrease my food intake. I ended up losing 20 lbs in 4 months through eating 2 meals, totaling 700-1200 calories a day.

After "discovering" that I could lose weight by just not eating and using restricting as a coping mechanism for the aforementioned stress, I continued to drop weight over the next few months down to 100 lbs (BMI 16.6). My hair was falling out, my skin was yellowing, and I kept getting cavities from calcium deficiency. Yet I could think of nothing else but losing weight. I had a full-blown eating disorder, but I just couldn't admit it. No, to me it was a game, to see just how low I could get the scale to go. Looking back, it was such a sick and sad way to live.

It's taken a year of painful adjustments, realizations, and self-searching, but I am finally beginning to come to a sort of peace about my body. I'm now 117 lbs (BMI 19.5), and comfortable with my weight. I'm going to the gym, eating healthy, and doing what I love. I feel pretty, for the first time in maybe ever. I'm finally out of the black hole of my ED, and I can safely say I never want to go back there again.