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| Motivation | enough is enough. NO MORE BINGEING. | Jun 14 2009 17:19 (UTC) |
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I sincerely hope no one is doing as poorly as I am. |
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| Motivation | enough is enough. NO MORE BINGEING. | Mar 15 2009 21:40 (UTC) |
103 |
Day 13! Holy crap! I am seriously amazed. "Dieting" has given way to acknowledging hunger and fullness, and I found that I have not gained ten pounds overnight like I was expecting and dreading. I guess when you equate eating what you want with going overboard and binging, you forget that you won't gain ten pounds of water weight and not fit into your jeans the next day by just eating healthfully until you're full. I'd call this a breakthrough, yes I would. Loseweight1234: Drinking while trying to lose is a topic very near to my heart. I've heard SO MANY people say that it's impossible to lose weight while drinking for recreation, and I want to prove to all the doubters that it IS possible. I know that everyone is different. And while we're both bingers, I know that you and I are different. But something that I've found to be consistently true is this: restricting calories and "saving" them for alcohol almost always results in a binge, either that night or the day after. I'm not sure how much you eat on days when you plan to drink (sorry if you have said this somewhere), but I have seen you say that you will save calories (usually a pretty substantial amount) for drinking later in the night. I've done this both ways: I've attempted to eat around 1000 calories to save room for the alcohol and still stay under my daily calories, and I've eaten my full recommended amount and then just stuck with (relatively) lower-calorie drinks. On the days when I try to restrict food calories for alcohol, I usually end up going over my daily calories by about 3,000. On those that I just eat what I need to and don't worry about extra alcohol, I'll go maybe 600 over and it has NEVER affected my weight. Whereas the binge weight will stick with me for up to a week. If you think that not drinking is the answer, I say stick with it. But don't give up something that's fun and that you'll enjoy just to lose weight. I think the occasional drunken evening offers a very relaxing respite to all this dieting madness that is always on our minds. I just wanted to share this because I'm finally learning that I can actually live life and do things I enjoy and not be a slave to a calorie deficit or something equally ridiculous. It isn't worth it in the end.
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| Motivation | enough is enough. NO MORE BINGEING. | Mar 10 2009 19:44 (UTC) |
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Well, the last time I reported on a day nine was over four months ago, and I had been gazing longingly at that post and wishing I still had that sort of resolve... until today! School has become oh so hectic and I check back here every couple weeks to get some feeling of support and to see how everyone is doing. I just want to say, I think you are all strong, beautiful people, and all of your efforts are extremely admirable. Take care of yourselves because you are all worth it! I know how mentally, physically and emotionally taxing it is to confront the pain/boredom/anxiety that we used to soothe with copious amounts of food-- we ALL know. That is what makes this place really great. It's about more than just not binging to me now-- it's about proving to MYSELF that I'm worth all the benefits of being healthy. Physically, mentally, whatever. I'm a happier and more exuberant person than I was just nine days ago. The BEST part of not binging? I feel like if I can handle this, I can handle absolutely anything. |
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| The Lounge | Love taboo? | Jan 24 2009 03:01 (UTC) |
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linden, I have to thank you for Hugo; I've been reading on a near-daily basis since you posted the link here. I understand what you mean about taking him with a pinch of salt, but some of his musings really hit home. A personal favorite: Committing to “leaving doors unopened” is a spiritual and psychological discipline. Like any discipline, it gets easier with practice and the passage of time. When I was younger, I thought wisdom would come as the natural result of the relentless pursuit of every possible new experience. I believed that in love (or at least its physical aspect), any door unopened was a “crime against eros”. I didn’t see my behavior as compulsive, needy, and childish — I honestly thought it vaguely heroic. That was my sad foolishness, but it was a foolishness that hurt many others as well as myself. |
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| The Lounge | Types Of Kissers | Nov 28 2008 03:26 (UTC) |
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I personally think everyone should stick with the multi-tap. Keep moisture to a minimum. No goob. That first meeting of the lips is the height of sensuality. Once the guy starts making deposits in my mouth I am out of there. |
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| The Lounge | Love taboo? | Nov 28 2008 03:01 (UTC) |
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Ha, don't! I actually wasn't searching for serious answers at all, was just curious about whether this stuff really happens and how it turns out. But msheeran got me thinking and it kind of just went that way... Honestly, it's always been a complete unabashed turn-on for me too. What makes this case different is that he's almost attainable. Like a dangling professor carrot. Realistically I don't think I could ever come onto a professor, though. |
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| The Lounge | Love taboo? | Nov 28 2008 02:46 (UTC) |
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Your experience sounds really similar to mine, and I can relate to almost everything you say. I hope you aren't assuming that I am "clingy" or rushing into turning a forbidden crush into a full-on amateur love obsession. I've dated men my age, and I've dated men much older; in fact, I had a turbulent relationship with an older man and feel that I kind of know what I would be getting myself into. There's no easy answer to why I like older men, but I totally refute that it has anything to do with an emotional void that needs filling. I'm nourished pretty easily when it comes to affection, and I don't think I'd become any more dependent on my teacher than I would someone my age with the same life goals as me. The only thing that would worry me is jeopardizing is job and reputation. I don't want to be "fixed," I just want to know this amazing person. As difficult as the flutters of excitement and passion make it to relax, I suppose I'll just have to try to do so and enjoy. |
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| The Lounge | Love taboo? | Nov 28 2008 00:46 (UTC) |
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Such is the contradiction. I am so interested in this man, but to act on these feelings would be to violate all of the respect I have for him and to warp exactly what I am attracted to in the first place: sensibility, intelligence and unyielding dedication to his work. There is a very little but ever-present voice in my head that reminds me over and over how wrong it would be. But resisting is driving me mad; the more I try to put him out of my mind, the more tempting he becomes. How did you keep from telling your teacher, msheeran? |
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| Motivation | enough is enough. NO MORE BINGEING. | Oct 27 2008 16:03 (UTC) |
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DAY NINE. I haven't been able to say that since the summer, and the feeling of having control and actually doing what I say I'm going to do is beyond compare. It helps me keep the rest of my life in order when I can control this rampant disorder that I have. There really aren't any words for the feeling of being "free" from the binge. No sugar crashing. No distended stomach. No short, rapid breathing, having to lie down. No puffy eyelids. No inflated feeling at the base of the jaw/top of the neck. No guilt, no shame, no disgust. No wanting to shun society and hide until you feel better. Or, invariably, just binge again. Realistically, though, I know I'll never really be "free" from this behavior and I'll have to struggle with (and not against) it for a very long time. Controlling it makes me happy, yes, and I've lost most of the weight I put on as a result of bingeing, yeah, and I'm healthier and more active and I've toned up, sure. But is this all my life is about now? When I'd be at my lowest, after having binged and binged for weeks on end, I would think of how many problems would be solved by just having control. But it wasn't true. The same old insecurities are all still there, and lately I've been enveloped in this feeling of hopelessness and just being lost. I'm doing this for myself, but I don't know where I want it to take me. Sometimes it's hard to press on when the daily triumphs don't override that overall feeling of confusion and despair. SORRY to be a downer, you guys. I'm actually in a particularly good mood, I'm just reflecting on something I've been noticing for a while. I really wonder if anyone else has this empty feeling even after achieving all of their goals. I wonder when I will rediscover the life and the person that I lost to binging. |
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| Motivation | enough is enough. NO MORE BINGEING. | Oct 18 2008 21:54 (UTC) |
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Hey guys, today I learned that I can fit my entire hand (minus the thumb) down to the bottom of a peanut butter jar. I bet you can guess how I figured that out. ...Day 1 tomorrow... |
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| Motivation | BINGEING support group | Oct 09 2008 19:05 (UTC) |
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Hi, everybody. This is my very first post on CC though I've been lurking here for almost two years; that was when I found a different support group like this one after I googled "binge eating" (before I even knew what that was, and that other people did it). I've been a binge eater since I started starving myself when I was thirteen. I'm 21 now, and that is so far my only regret in life. That I thought I needed to do that, and that so many other (mostly) young girls think they need to do that makes me want to be ill. But I try not to dwell on it and I have been working on getting better every day. I can easily knock out 3500 calories in a single binge episode-- luckily, I've been able to limit myself to "binge episodes" lately. Previously I'd been binging for weeks or months at a time without really stopping. I had absolutely no self esteem and my personal relationships suffered tremendously. I didn't want to do anything or know anyone, I just wanted to be alone with the comfort of food. I suspect I will always be a binge eater. I have certainly learned to control it to some extent, but all the tendencies are still there. I was doing exceptionally well over the summer when my stress level was relatively low; I think I was only binging once a month. It's more like once a week now (back at school), and I've found that the trigger is any disruption in my schedule. ANY disruption. Weekends are absolutely horrible for me. I need to get up a certain time, go through the day a certain way and be in bed by "bed time" or else I am completely thrown off and just want to stuff myself until I'm about to puke. The unpredictability of the weekend just sets me off, and I haven't found a way to get a handle on it yet. Anyone else with this specific problem? Another problem I'm facing is grocery shopping. There is a laundry list of foods I cannot keep in the apartment, because I will eat them all in a matter of a day or two. This is bad for my health, of course, but also bad for my budget. I can't keep anything snacky and easily accessible. Lately I can't even keep bread around because I'll devour half the loaf in a day. Again, anybody else in this situation?
Day 5 :) |
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New journal post So far by ajjules 18:35 |
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cruumb added boppityboops as a friend |
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New journal post winter party by dplatzer 18:26 |
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tamermouse added bluebirdcb as a friend |