Posts by sb788

i too have been fat most of my life. I'm not really sure when i started gaining weight but i'm pretty sure i was almost always one of the biggest girls in my class. I was definitely at my highest weight during high school, i weighed about 178-180 or more lbs. I had no clue that i was that large. I knew I was bigger but i had no self perception. Every once and a while i'd see a picture and think, "Woah" but then kind of forget it. At the same time i had no self confidence to speak of- and i still kind of don't.

i'm a 20 and a junior in college about 20lbs lighter than then and i want to lose another 20lbs, nothing has really changed since high school. I think it is because even though i know i have lost weight, i still think i am that same size. When i see a reflection of myself in store window or something i always think, I wish i could look like that, because i don't realize that i look like that, i think my mind is playing tricks on me or something or the glass is convex. I always used to perceive myself as skinnier than i actually was during high school so now for some reason i still do the same thing but think i am at my high school weight... i know confusing.

My social skills haven't really changed at all- actually i think they've gotten worse. I stay in my room a lot more, if i'm hanging out with friends i always am the first to go back home so i can be alone. I cherish the moments when i can be alone, i can't wait for them. I think i used to be a lot more social and outgoing during high school even though i was heavier but now- i don't know.

I really hope that losing more weight will bring back my old self again. I know i wasn't at my best during high school, but i was way better than i am now that's for sure. 

Thanks for all of the replies.

I am planning on losing the weight by eating 1700-2000 calories and exercising 4-5x a week. I definitely won't be crash dieting- i have tried that kind of stuff in the past and it NEVER works (atleast not for me). I really just want to lose the weight slowly and concentrate on not gaining it all back. I aim to only lose about 2-4lbs a month which i know is extremly slow but i find when i try losing weight too fast i gain it all back. So i figure slow and steady wins the race.

I understand that my doctor merely wants to put me in a healthy BMI range which is below 25, but i honestly believe that I will look and feel my best at around 136-145. I think my mum believes i will look emaciated because she's never seen me not fat. She just can't imagine it- but i can and it looks great!

Original Post by restless_girl:

To be honest I'm not a 100% sure why I'm still trying to lose weight, other then the time old classic "Because i can".
It's become a habit, a hobby.
Not dieting would seem ... strange.

To begin with, i wanted to lose weight so that people would look at me instead of my sister.
I'm now 20lbs lighter then my sister and honestly, she's still the one getting every ones admiration so :] my work seems pointless now.
I like my body more now, but I'm not thrilled with it..
Chances are I'll never be content with my weight though...

:] I'm going to talk to my doc about it next time i go.

 i know how that feels. I have two really good friends that are extremely gorgeous and pretty. They both have nice curvy bodies- they aren't skinny but definitely thin and curvy (think music video girl type bodies). I want to be skinnier than both of them because I will never be as beautiful as they are and I want to be equal with them somehow. Whenever we go places I always feel like the odd one out- if i was skinner than somehow we would be equals. That is not the only reason why i want to be skinnier it's just one of them.

I also want to be skinny because i've never been skinny before, and sometimes i truly believe it will make me happy.