Posts by prowess

Thanks for advice, i was doing the 2500 kcals before spread over 3 meals and  snacks but then the last 3 months especially, things got a bit warped, with me consuming usually over the 2000 kcal by 10 am and then feeling so low about it that i would just decide to carry on as "i had already ruined the day." Silly thoughts i know but i just need to learn to pull myself back into normality as i know i can do it- if i can just start the day right.

Saw my GP for the first time today, since he referred me to services 2 years ago when I had a BMI 13.3 and he was happy that i had progressed to where i am but concerned about the binge eating. He offered me anti-depressants, however i'm really against taking medication but he suggested it as the only way. I think i would be more keen to try something alternative .... have you ever tried/what do you think about using hypnotherapy or acupuncture? My mood usually can be lifted though, for example when i'm active, and i don't exercise compulsively however i do realise and admit that i can get the balance with nutrition wrong.

As i still live at home my parents have been really great at stepping in and helping take away the oppertunity for me to do this to myself, by taking away my debit card and locking away the food i binge on, so i feel really positive about tomorrow and i'm going to try to learn to be more positive about the future. I just get nervous when i think how long its been since i had a period- but my GP had blood test results for me that proved i was "remarkabley well" so just waiting for a bone density scan and an ovarian scan date now.

This week i've just given up on everything that was connected to my ED, like not eating after 8pm, only eating natural wholegrain health foods, especialy avoiding refinined sugar and animal fat. As i just want my period back...

Today ive eaten a ridiculous amount, and i'm not sure if it could be viewed on as a binge or what, but i feel terrible about myself, yet i can´t stop with the eating.

Breakfast: 2 wheetabix, tsp gojiberries with soymilk; 2 toast with fruit spread, green tea

Snack1: Tesco blueberry muffin and a square of yorkie bar offered to me

Lunch: Tesco meduim sushi pack, small green salad, a banana

Snack2: a plum, 2 medium sized sultana scones

Dinner: Stuffed mushrooms (with brown rice but no cheese), with asparagus; kiwi with fat-free greek yoghurt

Snack3 (that turned in2 slight binge): apple crisps, large wholemeal roll, crackersx5, probs 4/5 tbs worth of peanut butter and 2 tbs of honey and a handful of fibre rich cereal, naked cereal bar

I am about 48 kg and I think I need to be 53/54 kg, I'm also 5'7 and fairly active meaning I've had trouble in the past gaining so I've just sort of gone for it this week but I can't help but feel like its wrong in a different sense, like if I keep this up I might fall in2 binge eating and my weight will balloon way over...

First post but hoping this site might help motivate me,

height- just 5ft 7

LW- 38kg (a year ago though)

CW- 48/49kg

Goal- 53.6kg which gives a bmi of 19 according to my last doctor.

I havent had my periods in a year and half and have been recovering but through stresses and not getting the balance right (as i've never stopped eating completely but am very active and in the past it has tended to become excessive) my weight has dropped from 52kg to 47kg in the last couple of months. My 2 kg increase in the last two weeks has come from me just giving up my restrictions or even normal meal plan to just binge in an effort to gain weight quickly, i've never been like this before and it scares me. As i'm underweight and technically need to gain, are the binges in a way acceptable if they're working or what can i do to be more healthy, as i'm nervous now all my gain will be fat and no muscle, and therefore i may go up too many dress sizes as sometimes i feel its important that i fit into a uk dress size 6 in order to have proof that i'm thin to myself.

Sorry if this is triggering to anyone, i'm not quite sure how honest i should be on sites like this to people who are also struggling, but i've left my community team as they weren't helping and telling me things i already knew, and their prescence made me put pressure on myself to start said binges in order not to "fail" weigh ins. I can't speak to my parents too much about this, as they have their own issues at the moment (credit crunch sucks) and i hate upsetting them, as they generally do not understand what to say/do in this crappy ed situation. So in way i thought i'd try this ... any comfort from someone in a similar situation would be greatly appreciated.