Posts by elagantabyss

I wish I had the answers but I don't. I can tell you that you are on the right track. And Kudos to you for being so well grounded and mature.

Your sister sounds like she has a personality disorder. You cannot rationalize with a person that has a skewed sense of reality themselves. The biggest problem is the fact that she has kids. Those kids need the influence of a stable person in their lives. They are lucky to have you. But, you have to protect your influence. Fussing and fighting with your sister can't be good for that.

In mental health nursing, we are taught to maintain a therapeutic relationship with the clients. Patients with personality disorders are the most difficult patients to deal with because they have mastered the art of manipulation. They create an atmosphere of chaos and seem to feed off of emotions. You have to set firm boundaries and do not let her comments or actions win her anything. Knowing what to expect is like preparing yourself for battle. Educate yourself on how to deal with a family member with a mental illness. Then use that therapeutic relationship to protect yourself. Then share that information with your parents. Ultimately, they are responsible for their actions. But they need to realize that they are enabling the behavior. She needs the rug pulled out from under her.

Unfortunately, there is no way to shield the kids from all harm. But, if you plan it right, like an intervention, then you guys can come up with an option for the kids while she gets her crap together.

Have you seen the show Interventions? Go to Hulu.com and look the show up. You can watch all kinds of episodes. You may even discover a way to get your parents involved.

I am sure your sister has a mental issue. Does that give her a license to self destruct? NO. But just as with any other sickness, treatment is necessary.

Remember to treat her like you would if she was suffering from a brain tumor or some other tangible medical condition. She needs boundaries, but she also needs empathy and respect.

Your Friend,

Dana

Me and my husband are major disc golfers! He plays open and I am in Am. We love taking the kids to the park. We have 7 different DG parks in our area.