Posts by kd129

I wish I looked like I weigh less than I actually do. People I work with claim that I look lighter than I actually am. I tell them I still have 10-15 lbs to lose and they think I'm nuts - I try to avoid the conversation b/c I think they're starting to worry about it actually. None of them can believe I started at 170, and that I'm still 145.

So I dont think I look like I weigh less than I actually do. But I guess other do... Which is kinda nice, I guess.

Oh yeah, I'm 5'5" and 154.8 lbs. I started at 169 in mid-November.

I think that the Calorie Coach / Predicted weight loss is based on what is "typical". In other words, if a person normally loses X amount of weight in X amount of time, that will be the prediction.

Mine says I will reach my goal by April.... But at the rate I'm going, I should reach it by the end of Feburary.

If you're losing faster than what is expected, or "typical", you're predicted date will be further away than realistic.

It's been on in the background of at least one room since 8pm last night. I haven't sat down and watched it all the way through. No matter though. I could recite the entire thing from beginning to end.

haha. Classic.

"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine..... Ovaltine? A crummy commercial??! Son of a...."

haha

My family and I have this rule that we are only allowed to watch it on Christmas Eve and Christmas haha. So we try to get our fill of it in 24 hours. BUT I would own it in a heartbeat if it werent for the rule... lol

You moving out of your dads house partially because of his drinking is not selfish. It's the best possible thing you could have done for yourself. He is the parent. Not the other way around. You are not responsible for his actions.

I understand what you are going through, to an extent. Though, I haven't had the ability financially, yet, to leave my mothers house for similar reasons.

However, I've been able to learn that when I leave... It isn't selfish. That I have an obligation to myself, and to my life, to take care of ME for a change. The stress of worrying about her, what she is going to do, what is going to happen to her, what she is giong to say, etc...... It's not good for me. And it's not my job.  I've been in the caregiving role for far too long.

As far as your relationship is concerned... I applaud you for being so concerned about it and not giving up on him completely. I'm at a point with my mother where I'd just as well cut off all contact once I leave until she gets her act together. So for you to continue to reach out is extremely compassionate. But I also want to say that you removing yourself from that situation by moving, isn't going to be as healthy as it can be - if you continue to put yourself in the caregiving role.

Someone asked if while living there, your father and you did have good conversations and/or spent a good deal of time together? How was your relationship before you moved?

If you were at a place where communication was open... I'd highly suggest sitting down with hima and having a conversation about what is going on.

If that door of communication was never opened... I'd simply let him know that you miss him and your concerned about where your relationship is going.

I don't want to jump to conclusions... And a lot of this is based on my own bias and experience.... But it could be that his drinking has gotten worse since you've left. Perhaps he contrained himself to a certain extent while you were in the home, but now that you've left he's let go completely. That may be the cause of this distance.

You really just need to let him know that you're concerned and that even though you dont live with him anymore, you still want to spend time with him when he is treating himself well. Everything after that point, is up to him. Keep reaching out and letting him know that you love him. That's all you can do. But please dont feel selfish. And don't feel obligated to care for him in the way you may have had to in the past.

I don't think the "competition" is having a negative affect on my diet or emotional state.

I started at 169 which is a good 30 lbs heavier than where I should be for my body type. I've been at 135, 140 before. The pounds have just slowely packed on in the past 5 years or so.

As far as the competition is concerned... It's not real competitive. It's more encouraging than anything else. I am equally excited about the teacher on another team who started at 225 and is down to 205 as I am about my 12 lbs loss, and one of my teammates 6 lb loss.

The comeptition itself isn't motivating me so much as the fact that I'm on a team with encouraging people who each want the other to succeed.

Anyhow. I do agree that 2lbs a week has been rapid. I'm not sure how I've done it, other than to say that I was eating like a truck before I started. Terribly. Fast food (literally) every single day, usually for lunch and dinner. So going from that to healthy meals, and sticking to about 1400 calories is the only answer I have to how I've lost so much so quickly. I'm not sure how much longer the weight loss will continue at such a rapid pace. Probably not much longer.

I guess I am just becoming more aware of my body. Like I said, I tried to ignore it before. So I suppose it makes sense to pick up on things I otherwise would have let my eyes miss.

I just wish I could fastforward to April or May. I suppose the impatient, control freak in me is just anxious to get to where I want and should be.

The tools on here have classified me from "overweight" to "slightly overweight" with my loss. That should make me feel good. But it's difficult when my brain hasn't caught up with what I suppose everyone elses eyes are probably able to see... if that makes sense.

I definitely have a love-hate relationship with Christmas too.

I love that I work for a school district that gives me and the kids a 2 full week vacation.

I hate that I don't get paid for it.

I love giving gifts to people when I know that they are going to like it. When I don't have to spend a great deal of time thinking about what to get them. And when I know they will be touched by it.

I hate feeling obligated to give a gift. I hate having to think and think about what someone may want or need.... And having to make a purchase for something that we all know they'll forget about a year from now. I hate that I feel this obligation only because I know they feel the same obligation toward giving me a gift.

I love seeing my family. But I hate that I know they'll all be plastered by 8pm and highly, highly annoying.

And I hate, hate, hate shopping during Christmas time. I hate the mall. Truly, and with a passion. I think I just hate large crowds in general. I dont even really like the mall when it's not Christmas time.

And I love getting gift when it's something that I actually need or something that I really, really, really want. But most of the time I hate receiving gifts. Because I have to act excited or happy about something that really isn't that big of a deal, or something that I know I'll never wear, use or even really look at a week later.

It's actually a little ironic because the kids I work with tend to get this reputation for being lazy. Even I find myself generalizing all of them at times, thinking that they just cant focus on one thing for very long (like class, or homework).

I just couldn't beleive that this child would spend SO much time on something just for me.

I am so happy when a student just says "thank you" for the help I provide them with. At a certain point, they tend to "expect" the help and "thank you"'s are limited. I find myself saying "thank you for saying thank you!"

This is the most fulfilling job/thing I've ever done in my life. And it really does mean a lot to know that I impacted that child enough for him to put so much thought into something just for me. Cellophane, I'm sure your teacher felt the same way.

I haven't read through all of the posts and responses.

But what I have read takes in little to no considerations for the kids involved.

How old are you children? How many do you have?

As a daugther from a broken home, I can tell you that it's not always best to "stick it out" for the children. You mentioned reevaluating your relationship with your wife once the kids are old enough to either "understand" or once they're old enough to be out of the house (college, I'm assuming).

I'm getting mixed messages about your feelings for your wife. You say you love her, but you aren't in love with her anymore. That, I understand. You also alluded to her being your "best friend". Is this still the case?

My dad convinced himself that he had to wait until his kids were in college before he left. Well... He made it to my freshman yr of college (my younger brother was just starting high school, and I have another sibling 3 yrs older than I).

His parents had divorced when he was very young and didn't want to put us, his kids through that as well.

But what he didn't realize is that we were very perceptive about what was going on. We knew the "in loveness" had ended. Sure, my parents loved each other and cared about each other. But there was zero intimacy in their relationship. You'd think this has no real affect on your kids.... But you'd be surprised.

Cheating is never the answer. If you want this marriage to work, and she does too - then counseling should be the first step. If she doesn't want to do counseling, then I would assume she has no desire to make the marriage work. In that case, separation or divorce is kind of necessary.

Please dont drag out a bad marriage for the sake of your kids. I don't think it matters too much how old they are. Yes, "damage" can be done to your kids resulting from divorce. But equally damaging emotions can result from pretending a marraige is working when it isn't.

Hey there. I think I saw the same post and visited the same website.

If this is the one you are taking about, the address is

http://www.losertown.org/eats/cal.php

Let me know if this was what you were lookin for!

Yeah I try to balance my calories throughout the day knowing that I'll want to snack on some things later in the evening when I get home.

I try to not deprive myself of snacks I crave or enjoy. I really do try and work my numbers out so that I dont fall completely off the wagon.

But it seems to me that trying to break the habit completely would be the best way to go. Because there are those days when I've allowed myself to have 250-350 calories worth of snacking, but I end up going way overboard.

Mature.

If you take everyones posts out of context like that... Add words that aren't really there... And see only what you want to see.... It is clear how and why you can make the generalizations that you make.

Original Post by jenniferthepennifer:

And, people who are 105lbs and stressed and upset that they can't shed those 2 lbs DO frustrate me and I do think it's a shame that don't see what they have.. but I have to bite my tongue. Who am I to say they should or shouldn't lose 2 more lbs.. no matter how much it frustrates me.. that's why I immediately stop reading posts like that.

 

I agree. I was saying to someone earlier that we all can relate to this, to an extent. We've all got a friend who is thin and beautiful who wants to lose 5lbs. We tell that friend they're gorgeous and perfect and that they have nothing to worry about.

The difference between the way you said this and the way jessica said it are huge. "Who am I to say they should or shouldn't lose 2 more lbs.. no matter how much it frustrates me." Exactly. Brilliantly said. And not once did you assume these people have a problem. Yes, it's frustrating from the viewpoint of a person who has 15, 40 or even 140lbs to lose. Yes, you wish that person can see themselves the way that you see them. But if they think 2 or 5lbs is going to make them look and feel better; that doesn't automatically mean there is something wrong with them.

I apologize that this post got a bit lengthy. I guess the thread has struck a cord in me.

I too have read every single post and reply. I found the title of the thread interesting. Found the original post to be... intriguing. And have gotten a kick out of the thread in general.

There is good reason for people to have found your original post offensive or simply way off base. You've had to clarify yourself more than once, based solely on your original post. The problem is that your original post (and a couple thereafter) did in fact make sweeping generalizations about large groups of people. You've had to backtrack to clarify what you supposedly meant by what you had originally said.

Just for the record, preempting your opinions with statements like "I'm not trying to be rude" doesn't automatically make them that way. It's like saying "no offense" just before offending someone. The truth is you have a strong opinion about things, and even though you aren't trying to offend anyone, there are people who will be offended. No amount of apologies or preempted statements are going to change your opinion. An opinion that will probably offend some people. 

I think that it's easy for your to see a picture of someone like me, or perhaps just a few pounds less than me - And assume that we're crazy for wanting to shed a few extra pounds. Annoying even. You click on a thread that is started for people who want to lose 5-15lbs and assume we have emotional problems or distorted views of our body. I can understand how this can be annoying to someone like you, who has far more to lose and definitely greater physical/health related reasons to do so.

But to say that someone who is 7lbs overweight and depressed should "get over it" is just a little harsh. I'm about 13lbs overweight. To say that losing those 13lbs wont make me happier, is an uneducated opinion by someone who has no idea what it's like to only have 13lbs to lose.

I've been at my goal weight before. Losing those 13lbs will put me at my goal weight. A goal weight that is the highest possible weight to obtain a healthy BMI. Yes, I was happier at my goal weight. Yes, I think getting there will make me happier. What's funny is that once I'm there, I could still shed 20lbs and be at a healthy BMI.

I read your words saying that what you "really mean" is people who are depressed/disgusted at an already healthy weight, and that this means they have a mental problem, not body problems. But the underlying message in most of your posts seems to hint otherwise. I think you've made an assumption about a large group of people - That if we're already at a healthy BMI and counting calories - there is something wrong with our mental state.

Once I get rid of these 13lbs, I'll probably work to lose another 10. Does this mean I have emotional problems because I feel I'll be even happier if I can achieve it? Of course not. But your posts imply that this is the case.

Additionally, I want to say that I think it is fantastic that you are working to become a healthier person. And congratulations on your loss so far.

However, I also want to add that you have no idea how you're going to feel about your body once you reach your goal. I have never been obese, so I do not know the struggles and life experiences that come with that. What I do know is that despite the perspective you've gained from being obese, you still cannot predict the future. The truth is that it's still possible that you'll reach 150lbs and still be unhappy with your body. The truth is that you my reach that size 10, and still be unhappy. The truth is that a size 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 are not the same thing. Not in general, and not on every  body. You may come to find that a size 10 on your body type is still (in fact not opinion) one size too big.

I think perhaps you yourself have a distorted view of yourself, and other people as well. Keep in mind that 7lbs may seem petty to you, but it's the difference between healthy and overweight to someone else. And the difference between healthy and healthier to some.

I really do wish you the best and successfullness in your journey.