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| Weight Gain | Please, in need of reassurance | Jan 03 2009 22:06 (UTC) |
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Thanks everyone for your care and insight. I know I should learn to think more rationally, but it helps to have others point out the obvious. Sometimes, I just don't feel justified in eating more/gaining because I keep thinking "I don't really have a problem...it's not like you got down to 45kg or anything, is it". My mind frustrates me, I guess we all have to put up with that at some point. I just wish I felt like I was doing the right thing most of the time, instead of feeling positive about my weight gain goal, then slipping and feeling self-indulgent in that I think I'm somehow different in my way of thinking about food, and that I need to take care of myself in terms of becoming healthier a bit more actively than others.
I'm lucky to have gotten such keen insight on this board. Thanks so much xo |
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| Weight Gain | Frustration with eating | Dec 29 2008 13:50 (UTC) |
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That's so great...at the moment I'm finding it easier to accept that, at the moment, I will be eating differently than I will have to in the future, so any negative feelings are only temporary really, and by doing what I'm doing now I've saved myself a lot of heartache in the future. You're right, this isn't just a time to get healthier (no matter how much I try to rationalise that I don't really need it)... this is an opportune time to experiment, to find what works for ME. Thanks so much for that insight :) I think what's difficult though is what we've alrwady touched upon...that moral componenet that food's become. I feel like I defined myself by my rigidity to my diet...by denying myself or making myself stretch food out so I achieved that "pleasure through pain" aesthetic, I gave myself a feeling of not only self worth and discipline, but control over something. Now that's being challenged, and I'm finding it very hard not to equate "gain" with "failure". I guess self-perception plays a big part... I keep feeling that, no matter what, all I'm doing is looking for excuses to over-indulge and that I'm just weak in comparison to everyone else (eg. like I can't suppress tiredness/mooodiness like others can, or hold off hunger until meal times...like I'm just looking for self-serving excuses to eat). I guess as much as a trust in food and our bodies needs to be established, as does a trust and love of ourselves :) |
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| Weight Gain | Frustration with eating | Dec 27 2008 08:49 (UTC) |
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Yeah, I notice that I start to get really anxious/excited about my food if I'm hungry before I eat...I'm kinda addicted to the feeling, hehe, so gaining is kinda hard when you want to be hungry and enjoy your dinner. Take it too far, however, and it isn't a good place to be lol. From experiance, have any gainers who lost a little too much (through maintainence fear, I suppose) found they were able to revert back to sensible etaing habits after incorporating more calories for gain? This is something I'm pretty nervous about, since the freedom to say "Oh, I'm going to eat this now and it doesn't really matter 'cause I can AFFORD to" is a bit overwhelming. I've learnt a good lesson though... I was recording around 1700-1800 cals for a good part of this year, and that, coupled with uni (more walking with class and public transport, etc) saw me go from about 55kg in july to about 51-50 in Oct-Nov. I know that everyone's needs are different and that even our own individual needs change with time and varying circumstance. I keep having to remember "You gotta do what's right for you". Eating more has definately helped identify areas where I was going wrong. My body seems to handle a lot more than I thought it could, and this aim to gain has kinda shown that I'm never fully going to realise what I can deal with unless I experiment. As has been said, this isn't an exact science, more of an art: you take the mould and principles of calories, nutrition, etc. and see how you compare. You won't fit perfectly; no one really can. You just use it to guide you to your own happy medium. Ah...this is helpful, even as a means of self-reasuurance. The difference now, though, is that I can get feedback from others who can offer simlar advice and such. All the help so far has been wonderful; it's so comforting to realise I'm not alone in this circumstance, nor that I'm 'weak'. I need to make my approach to food and eating a bit more orderly I think, and the gain seems somewhat justified moreso in that respect. Did anyone find that they "settled down" more (with regards to mood and attitude to eating) once they reached a healthier weight? Was it easier to maintain? Sorry, even in the one post I find myself bouncing between self assurance/optimism and wariness. |
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| Weight Gain | Frustration with eating | Dec 26 2008 04:39 (UTC) |
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Thankyou, everyone, for your kind and informative replies. I appreciate the time taken to give advice, especially as I am so new here :) personaltrainer87, you're exactly right: I am overanalysing and the other night, I just sat down and concentrated on just enjoying what was there. I didn't think about what I could have had, or what it would taste like if I was hungrier, etc. there are so many variables in life, that we can never really control our circumstances fully, or even so that they align with other people (eg. in eating habits, weight, etc). You gotta do what's right for you. Although I say that now, I know I still have some things to work through but it's achievable. I worry, though, about eating more and diffusing good habits I already have (eg. bringing nuts, fruit, etc. out with me instead of buying something like a smoothie). I know partly it is because I'm allowing myself more calories than before but I guess I don't trust myself that much. But, I suppose, as long as I'm in the right mindset, I could do anything I set myself towards (eg. I'd be less likely to buy food out if I were concentrating on mainatinence than allowing for gain). Sorry for the ramble, but it is such a relief to vent to others going through the same things rather than feel as if I'm annoying my family (again lol). But, and this is perhaps too subjective a question to ask, but is it possible that I'm being overly-complacent in thinking/allowing myself to gain weight? Am I perhaps conforming to the BMI too much? I mean, cosmetically it could do me some good (my chest shows off my ribs quite a bit) and I have a tendency to get tired easy. also, I've noticed I get anxious and tired when hungry, as well as irritable pretty easy. My hands are often cold (worst...winter...ever!). I dunno, I guess I'm caught between feeling like I need to put on weight, and the fear that I don't have to and that I'll go too far again, except now would've lost any good habits. But it's so liberating to eat different foods now...I guess I just have to find a medium.
Again sorry for the splurge...any thankyou for you kind consideration ^_^ |
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| Weight Gain | Frustration with eating | Dec 23 2008 13:09 (UTC) |
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Thanks for the reply :) I do eat very regularly...I make a habit of it because, as I said, I luvs me food! But I guessI feel like I'm working against "intuitive eating"...and I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, but everyone else seems to survie on basically three meals a day, with much less snacking than I do (and did when I was maintaining a lower weight). And the thought of gaining just spooks me a little I guess as well, no matter how rational it seems in my head. |
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