Posts by tears2triumph

Original Post by bsh0611:

Perhaps I just find it snarky when everyone who asks for help is dismissed. The "resources" in my area, or what you can call that, are too far away, and I can't add that on to everything else I have going on.

I completely understand what you mean by this.  Of course professionals/offline resources are useful/better/important parts of solving things...but the reason for looking online is for that form of support-not to be told to go elsewhere.  It's a different form of seeking answers [or make due with if you can't access professionals like myself!], not intended to "replace" other help but to be what it is: looking around to see what help/support you might get here.

To respond as a "cyberfriend" support to your fears, I first want to say that I am only really "qualified" to address the physical aspect of this fear, and I apologize if it counteracts the eating disorder recovery part.  I realize this doesn't address "why" getting fat is so terrifying you'd sacrifice so much "real life" to prevent it, but it *seems* as though getting past that fear might at least enable you to break the addiction.

I do strongly believe that getting past the fear won't really happen until you do it...

-->That is where the whole argument comes in about excuses/inpatient, etc.
You know what you need to do--whether you can get yourself to do what it takes, just stop questioning it or allowing anything to stand in the path of your priority: re-taking control of your body + resetting things--is up to you...

I can give you hope that it IS possible:

I have known people in the dieting industry caught in that cycle--eating less, doing more, and it builds up as the body gets better and better at hoarding calories.  Life deteriorates, calorie needs are "less" and so on.  I really think that your gradual drop in calories while continuing to go, go, go, with the running on top of an active life, are feeding the "now I can't eat more than X" with X getting lower and lower issue.

And the only way to kick your body back into "normal function" is to show it that you won't keep the crazy demands coming.  Honestly, a REAL break from activity WITH steady, "real eating" input, day after day for however long it takes [the more consistent and "real" the quicker] will give your body that signal.

=break the mental addiction AND the physical trap.

 As said, it can be done. The question is when and whether you can step up and do it, and hold strong until things, mentally and physically, are reset and you can thrive on a new kind of life.

The yolk has the quality food to it:

http://www.cholesterol-and-health.com/Egg_Yol k.html

Almost every nutrient, quality protein, and more bang for your buck than nutrition alone: so much more filling!

I don't like yolks.  I used to call it the "yucky yellow part" before i knew anything about nutrition.  Then I learned about that and forced myself to eat the yolk-the surprising part was that I stayed full for a lot longer than eating the white part and wanting a million other things more before I could get full.

Original Post by agruskin:

TEARS-ok, got it, what r ur GI probs if i may ask?  ive had a few myself.  how do u lose more when not running,  as in u want to eat less? hope ur doing well!

 If I could answer that one I probably wouldn't be on here! haha

And no, I can eat less and maintain a higher weight when I'm running, especially when my training is extra intense like marathon training or collegiate competing.  My body learns to be more efficient with calories when the demands are high, and when I stop putting on those demands it just gets really careless with calories getting lost

Original Post by coco621:

Original Post by pittgirl88:

What up ladies?!

Hope everyone's doing well! I'm a tad paranoid cuz my campus has caught some swine flu! Three kids are in isolation right now - crazy stuff. Is this happening near anyone else?

UM YES! haha. We have one girl in isolation and one that went home and another that is showing symptoms and may or may not need to be isolated soon. It's crazy!

 For real! I work in the hospital...yikes!  My hands are so dry from washing and I'm always eating at the computer, germophobia!

...and speaking of which, I have the 5am shift tomorrow! And 1300 cals+ to eat yet tonight. Better get at it!

Original Post by bsh0611:

tears2 - Someone had said something about ridiculous amounts of calories in and that's why some people gain. I was just saying what my pre-run calories are;-)

 bsh- I was referring to overall calories in vs calorie out:

1. It doen't work day to day necessarily: your body does what it needs with it's bank [be it the day before or day after-and it uses what IT needs, not what you think it should! ...or makes up and prepares for strarvation if it doesn't have that]

2. Overall, your body can get more efficient when in training.  Even eating LESS calorie and doing ten times more.  Myself, as well as clients have seen this repeatedly.

Crazy busy week so I might not be posting much, but I saw Pitt back and wanted to say I'm so glad to hear from you!  I love your attitude and "presence" and wish we both could chat more!

In general I have to admit these threads can be pretty frustrating.  I though this was a trying-to-gain team, not a "gaining/eating is evil help me convince myself it's okay or assure my I'm not really doing 'too much' of the whole goal"...

I mean really gals, it's one thing to have struggles and challenges to gain-but those should come from wanting something and trying to get it!
The struggle and barrier shouldn't be it being ok to eat...or gain...

magic and GI: Yes I know about the wonderful nuts, eggs, nut butters, etc. and that is my "dream diet" --the issue isn't "how" it's a matter of going against what I feel like.  I don't care for peanut butter, I'd much rather have 800 cals of cereal or more fruit than eggs, and it's so hard to choose the nuts when a box of crackers and dip sound so much better.

It is a matter of prioritizing and I'm doing better--I just hope I don't cave in and go hog while on carbs and sugars after making such great changes so far this week.

-and abbi: the thing is, if I eat the carbs and sugars like I crave [as I have for a long time now] my fat intake is far too low.  As a child I detested nuts, peanut butter, anything "gooey" so even learning to eat them has been a challenge for me. 

Just like calorie counting to ensure a positive balance, increasing my fat intake is part of my plan-the whole point of all this focus on changing how I eat-for the health and performance improvements I'm after, and get my period back!

Original Post by gi-jane:

I think weight-gaining is really no different from losing weight in principle.  Few people can automatically judge what the right amount to eat is in order to lose weight or they probably wouldn't be overweight in the first place.  You're having the same trouble in reverse, that's all.

The best advice for people losing weight is to make a plan.... map out the food day in advance, be well-prepared, avoid being caught on the hop, understand how much is the right amount, include a little flexibility rather than being too rigid...  And the same applies to you.

If you need 2500+ cals to gain weight map it out deliberately.  Use the tools on CC to work out what it looks like in terms of food choices and quantities.  Fit meals and snacks around your schedule flexibly and if you enjoy biscuits and chocolates, make them part of the mix by all means.   However, if you're getting 2500+ and you're still needing to eat lots of cakes and biscuits in the evening then increase your baseline to 3000 or 3500....   You're right, it takes work and attention..... anything worth doing takes a little application and effort.    You have to do this process for several weeks until you get into a good weight-gain eating habit.... and then you can probably carry on solo and find it comes more naturally.

In answer to your last observation. Sadly, many people on these boards need to gain and say they want to gain but are so embedded in the self-imposed rules & restrictions of eating disorders e.g. 'good & bad' foods, gaining weight 'the right way' or gaining the 'wrong sort of weight'.....  that they can't embrace the process wholeheartedly and are doomed to failure.   Luckily you don't have to make their mistake.

So don't make their mistake.....

 

 

 

 At the risk of hijacking another thread...

Thank you so much for your ever present knowledgable and logical advice gi-Jane.

I always look up to you and get excited to hear your input.  You definitely seem to know what you're talking about.

You also help me stay strong in what I'm doing when I start to second guess myself with all the complications:
-some things you've reminded me
*Key factor is keeping that positive energy balance to gain weight, regardless of what that is [then figure out the ways I can deal with complicating issues in that intake level]
*I need a map and objectives to change just like someone trying to lose weight would. Of course it's not natural or appealing--but since when did you hear someone just loving being on a diet either?

Now regarding my particular "map" I have been gaining so far on 27-3000 so I'm keeping in there [so I'll be steady instead of 2000-something on a painful day and 4000+ on a good day: maybe ok for normal life, but not when I want my body to heal and stabalize!] this week--but the hardest part for me [besides the GI mess] is the makeup.
I wish I could just have biscuits [and cereal!] all day, but I know I need more fat, especially to hurry my period along and help with bowel movement difficulties [I have to rule out normal causes of dysfunction before I can figure any of the root issues there].
It's not challenging in a sense of "knowing how" as it is prioritizing what I "need" [nuts for a snack instead of toast, eggs instead of more cereal, etc.] vs. what sounds good. :-/

Thanks again!

P.S. Can I ask [or maybe I should message you] what you do for a living?  Are you in the medical field?

I'll try writing it out since I'm trying to tend to more than just the amount I eat...

Today is a bit off for me because I slept in bigtime, then my schedule was all different—but honestly my days area always messed up one way or the other, so the best way for me to get on top of eating with any sort of day is to stay in check!

 I am on week 2 of calorie counting but also trying to improve how I get those calories so posting some of my actual menus may help, I hope…

 -quickie update-
*First trying to establish a steady intake with positive energy balance
  [also increasing my power foods-fats, milks, and meats!]
*Then I may have to do some diet buildup/elimination testing for the GI stuff that has been my doom—but I got into such a mess [again] this summer that I need to reset the basics here first…

 9am [uh oh!]: coffee, 1c milk [I use Lactaid]

B@10:30: 
1.5c berry blast cheerios
1/2c milk
2 hard boiled eggs,
apple

L@2:30 [ odd one as I was out w/o ability to eat for longer than normal]
Veggie burger + tomato, spinach, onion, and mustard,
plate of pretzels w/ few scoops of hummus,
Blueberry probiotic yogurtanother

S@3:30: [still hungry! Appetite playing catch-up…]
1oz sweet roasted mixed nuts [homemade!]

S@5:30
chocolate ice cream sandwhich
bowl of probiotic cottage cheese
“baked” apple, sliced

S@ 7: [after work while making dinner]
giant apple

Late D-9ish
brat fried up in olive oil with chopped onions and a bit of leftover potato
+1c each cooked broccoli and green beans, sprouts, and ½c marinara sauce
Another probiotic yogurt

10:30-bedtime
TLC bar
~1/2c each pumpkin and cottage cheese
few handfuls of crackers dipped in
1.5c milk

*I also take 3-4 servings of fish oil daily

I know I can't double post, but for anyone who's interested I wrote something on the what did you eat thread about the whole thing-

It's not the counting itself that is "good" or "bad" as it's purpose.

If you're trying to make a change [even more so if that's a physical/habit AND mental change] you need some sort of objective for that to happen, day after day consistently until things are really different for the long haul.

Whether or not you use calories to do that is individual.  But just "going with your body" isn't hte way to make changes, as lovely as it is--that's the reward when you get to the goal and you are functioning [and thinking] with everything in order!

Original Post by tessafairy:

Is it just me, or does anyone else have the opinion that just as calorie counting is not the only way to make sure you lose weight, it is also NOT the only way to help you gain.

 

 

 

 Not at all!  Actually, when I started counting calories to help me gain after years of "trying to gain" without really anything major happening for the long haul, most people thought it was really bizarre/backwards to see me counting--like I was acting like I was on a diet.

And to some extent I think it can actually be a tool for an eating disorder, I even started feeling like I was in an eating prison which is why i stopped counting for most of this summer.

What I learned was two main things:

1. If you want a real change you need some sort of objective way to make it happen.  It doesn't have to be counting calories, but something to keep you each dayfor the long haul making real changes or no overall change willl happen.

2. For me, calorie counting was simplest.  I tried some forms of meal/snack patterns and programs and that was actually more frustrating for me because I like to more or less eat as I go or at least be able to adapt.

Speaking of which...

Now that I'm on my mission I'm considering posting here...  I am not sure yet because sometimes this forum seems anything but a group of people who actually want to gain weight, but I've made some new friends this week who I'd love to join as comrads on our mission!

Good luck all!  Remember, there's so much more out there besides the game of weight gain, that can manifest itself once the physical body is taken care of!

Hi Skunk,
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone becaue I kind of felt out of place when I first joined here when it seemed like anyone trying to gain weight had the main barrier being just "normal eating" of 2-3000 calories, and was afraid of eating instead of afraid of not getting enough or losing as I was.

I have  similar predicament too, but I'm determined to make it happen.  We know we need a positive energy balance to gain, so just step it up adn find ways to make it happen!

Meanwhile it is of course important to find out why our body's are here...is ist just a long time of "not quite enough" [many athletes do in fact need 5K just to maintain] or could something else be wrong?
I know I have to pursue food intolerances and digestive issues since my symptoms there indicate that might be an area of malapsorption...

As far as how to add, my magic is to change foods--so something savory, something sweet something creamy + a drink rather than getting sick of trying to eat massive amounts of one thing.  Munchies are a great help too--they may seem like a "low cal" item, but I can much easier eat 1000s cals of chex mix and still be hungry for dinner than if I snack on filling food like granola or peanut butter under the guise that it's "high calorie."  I just get full and forget it's time to eat again.

I hope this helps! Keep me updated on your quest-I'm with ya! :)

edit:

I just noticed what you said about not wanting to just eat massive amounts of junk food, and didn't want you to think that was what I was advising!

My career is actually in nutrition and I would never recommend anyone with any goals take on an unhealthy lifestyle-

BUT once you've met your basic needs, the only thing remaining is the energy balance.  Extra nutrition doens't do your body any good...so people with a high calorie budget have more room for "play food" when calorie is the only point.

But as far as your healthy base:
-see how much you can cook in olive oil-I even have a brush I can use to spread it on my potatoes, meats, roast my  nuts, etc.
-avocado! great on sandwhiches, nachos, enchiladas, crackers--and plain! :)
-nut butters. I'm not a big fan, but when desperate i hit up the jar with a box of crackers...
-cereal: another thing I can use to pack in calories.  Fully fortified and often whole grain, just have a few heaping bowl of honey bunches of oats for a sweet tasting snack that gives you lots more nutritional value than a package of skittles!
-your blender: throw in bananas, whole milks [chocolate = divine!] and ice cream and you've got a healthy dessert!

I'm glad it made sense!

Seriously, it's the people who track intake or are hyperconscious of what they eat and do [even if for a good purpose] that always wind up perplexed with this! 

But it's common--and truly maximizing your potential is to go with it.

That's how the body works--and the whole point of tracking is to make sure it can work at it's best, right?!

Chrissy,

I don't want to be mean and I appreciate you taking time to respond, but I'm really  not asking anything about "how do i gain weight or eat more."

Part of the reason I'm not posting this on the weight gain thread is because I really want to isolate purely the concept of

being underweight alone:

can this be problamatic and how?

not weight loss, not starvation, overexercie, etc.
JUST being underweight in and of itself--is that a problem/how?