Posts by lisajayne36

I, too, used just the basic cloth diapers from Walmart, diaper pins, and plastic pants.  I tried the premolded fancy kind, but they leaked for me.  I had a diaper pail in the bathroom with water in it and put the dialper in there after I took it off the baby.  If there was poo, I rinsed the diaper in the toilet first.

I washed diapers about twice a week, putting them in the washer with hot water and bleach and letting them soak for a few hours first, then washing them.  I didn't find it to be any trouble really.  We used disposable at night because they held more liquid and didn't leak.

The diapers lasted through three boys now ages 17, 13, 11.  The 17 year old uses his old diapers when washing his car.  Nothing polishes like a soft, cloth diaper and talk about recycling.

One thing I know you have to do is relax.  The harder you try, the harder it will be to get pregnant.  It has happened over and over that a couple who can't get pregnant, adopt a baby, then, as soon as the pressure is off, they get pregnant.

Just enjoy each other right now.  When the baby comes, you will go days without even looking at your spouse because the baby will take so much of your time, not to mention  your money.

Have dates, be together, plant flowers, fix up your home, earn extra money at work, plan a great vacation.  Lose track of time on the calendar.  Before you know it you'll be thinking, "It seems like it's been a long time since my last period."  You'll count your days, and low and behold, realize you should go buy a pregnancy test.

Best of luck and don't let your family and friends ask you every month, "Well..."

Concentrate on your new marriage and everything will fall into place the way it should.

If I had boy/ girl twins I thought of naming them Levi and Jean.

I have never heard anyone say, "I wish I didn't get that degree.  I have heard many people say, "I should have just finished that degree.  I was so close."

Tee tee

I have a giggle every time I see the car Audi TT.

My husband told me China makes a car called a ta ta.

Now you can have a TT and TaTa's.

When my kids were little, I had anxiety all the time, especially when the kids were home all day in the summer.  Sometimes I'd feel anxious for no reason that I knew of.  Now that my sons are older, (the youngest is 11), I think the reason I had so much anxiety when they were younger is that I was simply worn out.  I was constantly taking care of them or the house and not resting at all during the day, nor sleeping well at night.  I wanted my sons to have a fun time all the time.  I wanted the house to be perfect.  I forgot that we needed to rest.

I took zoloft off and on for years, then 3 years ago I just decided to take the zoloft everyday without worrying about that.  Paxil didn't work for me, but it works great for my sister.  Zoloft didn't work for her.

I don't get the dreaded anxiety feeling anymore.  I'll think about you during the next few days.  Remember thst you won't be exhausted for ever.  It does get better.

I started going grey at 27.  I started coloring my haiir at 29.  Now at the age of 46, no one knows I am completely gray.  They haven't ever seen me with my natural color.

Congratulations on your engagement!!  You sound very thoughtful, which is important before you get married.  Have your eyes open going into marriage and that solves most of the problems because you'll not have most of the typical marriage problems.

I just celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary and I'll try to honestly answer your questions.

1.  The most important aspect of our relationship that keeps our marriage working is that we treat each other like we were meant to be together.  When I first met my husband and started dating I was struck by the feeling like he was someone I was "supposed" to know, like a family member.  We have a trust that the other will always be there, like you would have with a parent or sibling. 

Also, when something we do bothers the other one, we stop doing it when asked.  I can't even think of an example now because neither of us made it a big deal.  We just stopped.  We try to make each other's life easier.  Sometimes our sons laugh because we both tell the other one, "You go rest, I'll cook, wash, get dessert, etc".  If one of us does need a rest, we can ask the other to please take care of whatever work there is.

2.  If you choose the right person to marry in the first place, a marriage doesn't take that much work.   It just goes back to trying to make the other's life easier.  I quit my job when our kids were born so I could take care of the kids and home and my husband could plow forward in his career, making money for our family.  I was a civil engineer, but to me family life is more fun and worthwhile.  I took on the job of getting up every night with the kids, cleaning all the vomit so my husband wouldn't get the flu and miss work.  But on the same note, if I wanted to work, I could.  But I found that it is impossible to not have one parent always available to the children and household.  My husband works hard to bring home the money, which I can spend however I want, but because I respect our family, I don't abuse it.

Also, we each  appeciate the other's talents.  My husband is a very detail oriented and organized person.  I have an engineer's mind and can fix almost anything.  I appeciate it when he is better at organizing the kitchen and making the dishes look pretty in our glass cabinets.  He is a better grocery shopper and he prides himself on getting a good deal in the store.  The pantry is orderly because of him. He appreciates me when install a new faucet, or fix the lawn mower.   My husband doesn't get his male ego insulted when I can quickly put together something that he'd been working on for a while.

3.  Of course now that we have three sons ages 16, 13, 11, we don't have as much time to be alone.  However, we try to take a long weekend away at least once a year.  When they were little, we'd go months without making love because we were both tired and busy.  Sometimes, I felt like I wouldn't even look at him all day.  I was so wrapped up in the kids and him in work.  But, we had that devotion in the background of our relationship that we knew we wanted to be together and we were supposed to be together so we waited it out.  Time together always came back around and we didn't have any guilt or regrets of cheating.

It's stressful having a teenager who is driving now.  That is our newest hurdle.  Choosing a safe car for him, establish driving rules, gas money.  We disagreed sometimes based on our own teenage driving experiences, but we eventually came to agreements.

Sometimes we are more friends, or roommates, depending on what is going on with the kids and busy season at work, but we try to be romantic when we can.  Like I just hid a note in his suitcase when he went on a business trip.

Like I said before we try to get away at least once a year.  Last time my husband planned the trip and emailed me a poem everyday about our mystery destination (Big Sur).  It was romantic like new lovers and we are in our late 40's.

4.  The most important thing a young married couple should know is that everyday won't be bliss.  One or the other of you will get weary with work, house, kids, parent problems, but treat each other with kindness and know the other is still there.  The rough spots won't last forever.  Work to make the others life easier and happier.  Give each other a break from the mundane once in a while. 

Have a date night every week.  Go out if you can, or do like we do. We started when our second son was born and we didn't want to get a sitter.  Almost every Saturday for the last 13 years, I get to take a peaceful bath, he brings me a glass of wine.  He would feed the kids and put them to bed when they were little.  Now if they aren't at a friend's house we get them a movie to watch upstairs.  They know not to interrupt date night.  We get some good take out and rent a movie.  If I don't have my relaxing date night on Saturday, I am tensed up for a couple of days.

Best wishes to you.  Marriage is wonderful.

Lisa

You don't sound that unusual to me.  I had the same problem when I was younger and a lot of people I know did, too.  I fought taking something for years because I thought it meant I was weak, crazy, etc.  Finally, I just said "to heck with it" and started take one 50 mg Zoloft per day.  It has really helped.

I don't have that anxious feeling anymore.  I feel like I can handle anything that will come my way.  I don't worry about the future or the past.  I finally got to the point where I don't care what people think about me.

You'll get past this.  Eventually, you'll not worry about everything and realize that you can handle situations when they happen.  I know the most anxious times for me was worrying about what could be.

The only other person in our family that I know of who has a similar problem is my 13 year old niece (my son's cousin).  In fact most of us are early risers.

He tries to have a bedtime routine of taking a bath, eating a snack (we'll try the cheese), then watching the Simpsons, or Friends.

Maybe, I'll have him not watch TV right before bed, but read something.

Thanks for your ideas.

Original Post by mrsmelbellev:

charleet- hahaha

jackattack-very true!:)

well, guys, i didn't get the ept on the way home b/c i started having cramps on the way home. and the backaches i usually get that time of month. i am thinking i'm just late. but if i don't start tmw, i'll definitely go get it!

 Not to scare you, but newly pregnant woman do feel cramps just like a period.  That confuses a lot of us.  It is from the teeny tiny little baby implanting in his or her mommy's uterus.  You should get a test.

If you are pregnant congratulations.  You are in for a wonderful experience.  If not, enjoy the time alone with your husband.

Let us know.

Oh.  I just saw the negative results post.

Beef Stroganoff

Grandma's homemade bread

spaghetti

French Fries after swimming

chic-o-stick

Look at the web site www.hystersisters.com  they have a support system and you can communicate with other women who've had hysterectomies.  i had one last year and I'm very happy.

Thank you, everyone.  I think we will go with an all-inclusive.  I think the convenience factor will be great!