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| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 30 2009
07:34 (UTC) |
3 |
I just want to let everyone know that my girlfriend is NOT pregnant. She took a home pregnancy test January 28 and it came out negative, then the day after she took the test, she got her period. I will, from now on, until I believe am ready to become a father, take all the precautionary measures to make sure this does not happen again.
I also want to thank everyone who helped me through this and gave me advice on what to do.
God bless everyone! |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 26 2009
05:09 (UTC) |
4 |
Original Post by skookum:
Original Post by drea99:
She sounds super manipulative... you had sex Jan 8, it is now 17 days later so you should be able to get an accurate result from a pregnancy test, assuming there was any real likelihood of her being pregnant, which I dont think there is. So get a FREP, take it first thing in the morning, and then breathe a sigh of relief and GET THEE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Get you some condoms, get her the pill or depo or a diaphram, whatever, AND get you all some education. Learn about sex, women's periods, fertile times, stds, etc. Get tested. And stop this drama.
I "ditto" this. Your girlfriend sounds like she is up to something...
If she is also just experiencing "freak out" symptoms, she could easily put her mind at rest by taking a test. Super easy and a very nice way to relax her boyfriend. Why hasn't she taken a test? Why didn't she take morning after pills? Maybe she isn't pregnant now, but maybe she wants to be. Be very careful with this one, buddy.
When I had my first "oops" experience, I was on the phone at the first possible moment trying to find a doctor to write me a prescription for the morning after pill. I always have a supply on hand now and it's much easier to get. I'm 34 and have never wanted to get pregnant, so I haven't ever been pregnant. It's a pretty simple thing to avoid if you really want to avoid it.
She has taken a test before, but we think she may have took it too early because she took it January 17, and it came up negative. She has another test, and she's saving it in case she does miss her period to test again. Plus, she does want a child, and I do too, but I don't think I'm ready to have one yet. But I take full responsibility for my actions, and if she is pregnant, I will do the best I can to support her and my child.
Furthermore, I know how my girlfriend is. We have been dating almost 3 years now, and I know she would never manipulate me like this. We know each other better than we know ourselves, which may be sad to say but it's true. We would never lie to each other, we would never manipulate each other. And we most certainly would never hurt each other.
I will talk to her to see about getting some morning after pills or some form of birth control in case something like this happens again. And I will do what I can to prevent it as well, at least until I feel I'm ready to become a father. I'll keep everyone informed on our situation. |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 26 2009
04:53 (UTC) |
5 |
Original Post by drea99:
Murphy:
You could have had her take the morning after pill. If you dont know what that is, it is a drug that prevents you from getting pregnant after you have had sex. If you look back, that was my first recommendation. You have 5 days from the time of sex to take that for about 80 percent chance of not getting pregnant. If you have unprotected sex, this is the best method you have of avoiding getting pregnant. You chose not to do this--- I did mention this, and no one else did. This is NOT a means of abortion-- if you are already pregnant, it will not terminate a pregnancy.
As a guy, you may not understand female cycles, but if you have sex, you have to understand how it all works! You dont want an unscrupulous girl to tell you 2 days after sex, "I took a pregnancy test and I am pregnant! When are we getting married/moving in together/ you paying me x amount of dollars for medical bills that don't exist?" Knowledge is power. Don't hide behind ignorance. You can choose to know the right thing.
You are both too young and uninformed to be having unprotected sex and I wonder about you all having sex period. Sex is great and wonderful and I personally love it. But I also know what I would do if I got pregnant and the resources that I have available for whatever choice I make. We all f up. And I am not being harsh by telling you the way things are. There is no way to sugar coat being an accidental parent. How do I know? Go back and ask my 18 yr old self. Or perhaps ask my 9 yr old daughter.
Dont live your life with the excuse that it is not your responsiblity because it is-- and if you mess up, its the responsibility that you will have for the rest of your life. And getting pregnant is the least of your worries. I am not telling you to not have sex. I am telling you to look at things with open eyes, do your research, and make an informed choice before you to do something-- do you know what the consequences are, do you understand what you are getting into, do you know, for the truth, what you are doing? Your girlfriend doesnt sound like she is any more informed than you are.
Go to the store, get a pregnancy test. Start there. Have her take it tomorrow. There are no age limits on being able to buy one. Its super easy, and I already told you which one to buy. Its about 10-13 bucks for 2. If she hasnt gotten her period when she is supposed to, have her take the other one. I am guessing you are both under 18 (I had it in my head you were 16 ish, but cant figure out where that thought came from, so forgive me if I am wrong). A teenage girl has irregular periods as a matter of course-- but since you had unprotected sex, she should still go to the doctor, have a urine test done there (or a blood test if you want to be absolutely sure, this is called a beta hcg). And you should both be tested for STDs.
Babies are forever but they are a lot more fun than herpes, or the host of other very common diseases you can contract. Consenting adults are one thing, if you are teenagers, as I believe you are, you are consenting children-- and I hope that you are close enough in age to escape any statutory rape laws, depending on your state/country. I had sex as a teenager, I am not claiming to be some saint. But I also understood the whole sperm meets the egg dealio. Not well enough to avoid getting pregnant (2 forms of birth control failed for me) but I knew what I was getting into. Just be a bit smarter, do your research, and for goodness sake, stop letting your gf maniupulate you into a frenzy.
I am harsh, that is part of me. I also have a wealth of information. I am not being cruel. You need someone to just tell you the way life is and that you need to understand it. If you are going to play grown up, then you have to understand the way the grown up world works. It is not pleasant or candy and roses. There is nothing romantic about getting pregnant (or worse) at a young age. I do hope you are not pregnant (as a general, "you"). And I do care... otherwise I would not have bothered to take the time to respond to you multiple times.
Look, I truly do apologize for the way I am acting. I know you're just trying to help, like everyone else here, and I do appreciate that. But I had no right to get all snappy and hateful like I did. I would like to inform you that we are both 18 years of age. So I guess we would still be considered "minors" to some.
It's just this whole pregnancy thing and not knowing much about what to do has gotten me scared, but has also made come face to face with reality. If she is pregnant, then I will accept it and love it, just as much as I love her.
I am doing my homework; I have been looking at stuff on the web talking about what to do if you're pregnant and other things like that. Sex ed in high school didn't teach much, other than about STD's and other stuff like that. I've also looked into the Planned Parenthood website, and plan to make a visit with them as soon as possible.
I can also understand your reasons for being harsh. You're just trying to help in your own way, and like I said, I do respect that and appreciate every bit of help you have given me. And again, I do apologize for my ways and my ignorance. |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 26 2009
03:35 (UTC) |
8 |
Original Post by drea99:
Murphy:
I dont have something against what you are going through, I have something against not at least knowing something about sex and the process of getting pregnant-- the web has a vast collection of knowledge right at your finger tips. I also have something against a female who doesn't protect herself and then cries that she is having pregnancy symptoms when none can possibly exist yet.
A urine test at a dr's office is no more accurate or precise than one done at home. You can have a free test done at the many pregnancy crisis centers that have popped up (usually religious based and pro life, but good resources), you can pay a minimal amount at planned parenthood, or you can go to CVS or Walgreens or the corner grocery store and get a test. Your gf could also go see her GP.
Furthermore, you dont seem interested in avoiding having this issue occur again and again. If you want o have a kid, that is one thing, but you all seem to be thriving on the drama. Make a choice-- protect yourself or deal with the consequences. Part of protection is knowledge. If you havent the slightest idea how conception or the female body works, or even knowledge of Planned Parenthood, then perhaps you should avoid situations where this knowlege is paramount.
So yes, I am hard on you. Willful ignorance has no excuse.
Okay, first off, this is the first time either of us has had unprotected sex. Second, I do know about how babies are made. I do know SOME about how the female body works, though not everything because I'm NOT a girl. Third, if she isn't pregnant, then yes I do plan on taking preventative measures, such as using condoms and birth control, to make sure something like this doesn't happen again until we're truly ready to have a baby. So please, just let up on the harshness. I do, however, thank you for your advice, even if you did give it to me in a harsh and somewhat cruel way. If you would like, I'll keep you updated on our situation. If not, that's fine, too. Just please...ease up will you? |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 25 2009
23:43 (UTC) |
11 |
Original Post by cecilyb03:
Original Post by drea99:
She sounds super manipulative... you had sex Jan 8, it is now 17 days later so you should be able to get an accurate result from a pregnancy test, assuming there was any real likelihood of her being pregnant, which I dont think there is. So get a FREP, take it first thing in the morning, and then breathe a sigh of relief and GET THEE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Get you some condoms, get her the pill or depo or a diaphram, whatever, AND get you all some education. Learn about sex, women's periods, fertile times, stds, etc. Get tested. And stop this drama.
Drea's post made me realize that your gf should start her period soon. So, she can probably go ahead and take a home test now, though it could still be too soon. I took a home test the day of my missed period with my first pregnancy, and the line was so faint that I wasn't sure if it was positive or not. I mean, you had to nearly go cross-eyed to see the line. But there was no mistaking it when I retested 3 days later. With my second pregnancy, I tested the day of my missed period, and the positive result was loud and clear just seconds into the test. Get a multi-pack of tests and try first thing in the morning if you just can't wait for her period.
Again, Drea's got excellent advice in visiting Planned Parenthood. They can also test your gf, and they can counsel the two of you as to what your options are, pregnant or not.
I'm interested in how this all turns out. Please keep us updated with your situation. Good luck!
I just want to say that you seem to be one of the few who at least cares about what I'm going through, and are able to offer me good advice. I mean no offense to Drea, her advice is great as well, but she seems to have something against what I'm going through. I assume there is a website for this Planned Prenthood center, and if so, I will definitely look into it.
I'll try to talk to my gf about taking the test early. But like you said, she may just be experiencing these symptoms because she's worried about being pregnant. I'll also see about arranging an appointment with her doctor to get at least a urine test done.
And again, thank you for your help and support, and I will keep you updated on the situation. |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 25 2009
07:56 (UTC) |
17 |
I need someone to help me out again.... My girlfriend is telling me that she wakes up exhausted, and is exhausted throughout the rest of the day. She's having mood swings and seems to cry for no reason. She has cravings everyday, and even after she eats a big meal, she's still hungry. Her lower back is starting to bother her. She's going to the bathroom a lot more than usual. And she seems to be gaining a little weight. Could these be early signs that she is pregnant? Also, she wants to wait to see if she misses her period to take a test, but can she take it earlier and still get an accurate result?
P.S. I've come to face reality. If she is pregnant, then I'll just have to accept it. I just wanna know if these are symptoms of pregnancy. |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 12 2009
17:01 (UTC) |
18 |
I just want to say thank you to everybody who replied here. You have helped me to calm myself down and realize to go with the flow and not worry about it. and to drea99, I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. It's just whenever I get stressed out I tend to act without thinking.......you know how guys are. And again, THANK YOU EVERYBODY!! |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 12 2009
02:08 (UTC) |
22 |
Original Post by pgeorgian:
first, it's highly unlikely that her period is the first week of the month, every month. our cycles don't follow the calendar.
second, your question is asked and answered. there's no way to know this early whether or not she's pregnant. of course anxiety could make her feel nauseated; doesn't it do that to you?
well I didn't honestly mean that...... it was just a rough guess. And now that I think about it, anxiety does make me nauseous. Thanks for your advice |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 12 2009
02:05 (UTC) |
23 |
Original Post by drea99:
implantation takes 7 to 10 days after intercourse-- and no symptoms can possibly occur BEFORE implantation, and most symptoms dont show up until approx 4 weeks after sex SO... stop freaking out and use a condom. Plus, if you had sex the 8th you can still go get the morning after pill. Do that, keep the gene pool clean.
look I can't help that I'm worried about this kind of stuff. I mean this is the first time we've had unprotected sex, and honestly i'm not ready to be a father. So excuse me for worrying about my future and hers. |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 12 2009
01:49 (UTC) |
26 |
Okay now I'm really getting scared. My girlfriend is telling me that her stomach has been feeling weird lately, and that she wakes up nauseous every morning. Could this be a sign or is it just the nervousness of her possibly being pregnant making her act this way? |
| Pregnancy & Parenting |
Is my girlfriend pregnant? |
Jan 11 2009
01:35 (UTC) |
27 |
Original Post by counselork:
Do you know how long her period was? Women are "safe" the first five days of their period, and the evening of every "dry" day afterwards. "Dry" in reference to their normal cervical fluid.
Odds are, you're fine.
Her periods usually last about a week, and she gets them the first week of the month. January 7th was her last day, and we had sex January 8th. |
