Posts by wytchymama

The last time I went to Disney World was in 92 with my Big kids (30,28. 26 now)...we had a great time.  I was about 100 lbs lighter and could walk.  The biggest mistake I made was taking a break from the park, returning to our room and swimmng.. I was oblivious to the sun and I ended up with 2nd degree burns on my shoulders.  not fun..

What is your favorite part of Disney World?  I love Epcot- World Showcase!  Later gater... Hugs..Cinn

I have been to florida in august in past years... don't think it could be hotter..

I have to tell you as a RN... every RN and Dr I know drinks diet soda.  As for me.. I love my Diet Coke...  I'd rather drink diet coke to excess than vodka or whiskey!

I quit drinking alcohol, I quit smoking everything, I quit eating junk food... I don't drug, or have casual sex BUT I will not quit my diet coke!  ( I am so BORING LOL)  If this is my addiction of choice..so be it.. ( addiction is actually defined as:    A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences  so I don't think my diet coke drinking even vaguely qualifies.)
 

My feeling are this... life is dangerous.. ice caps are melting...  air is unbreathable... water is toxic - either impurities in tap water or chemicals leeching from plastic bottles;  sugar is addictive.. meat causes heart disease.. white flour is from the devil himself... so I say Freck it all. 

Life life as full as you can... be as sensible as possible with your food (but don't make meals a punishment), don't shoot heroin, or smoke crack, or snort cocaine, don't drink till you fall down.. and don't deny me my diet coke.  

Wobby/Christine- the more I read your writings the more I think we were sisters separated at birth. (maybe it is just wishful thinking).  (hey and it's me going to Disney World)!   Luv ya, girlfriend

goingtolookgood/Candice - you are just doing awesome!  I bet you are looking good already!  ((Hugs))

Norma Jean - sweetie, we have all been in your shoes.. don't do what I always did, give up... cause all it got me was more weight and more heartache. I have determined not to deprive myself of anything..just count it all... because when I deprive myself of my favorite foods aka JUNK... I feel sad and depressed, and I get into a mindset of..."I am so fat.. what does it matter anyways... who cares... I am a loser... I can never lose weight, so I might as well eat {whatever} until it's gone!"  I am not going down that road again... I've been down it so many times, I've made a 4' rut!  So now, if I mess up and eat too many calories/food, I stop myself and forgive myself(still working on this), and start tracking my food again.  Don't get discouraged over 10 lbs... it doesn't matter... today is a new day. be gentle and loving with yourself... you are sooo worth it.  I know how hard it is to love yourself and believe that you deserve to be thinner and happier... just don't confuse losing weight with happiness... happiness is a daily decision... losing weight won't make you happy... loving yourself WILL make you happy.

Glenn- you are one of the original 'nice guys'.  Don't worry about plateaus, they come and go.. just keep on keeping on...hope you have a wonderful week!

Denna/dlbrown - weight gain because of medical issues is disheartening...but look how far you have come.. look at your weight loss!  It is so impressive! Be proud of your accomplishments!  Be proud of yourself!

And - when I referred to this group to "coming home".. I was refering to the family/home I always WISHED I had.  I always dreamed about having a family that could love me and accept me the way I am.. who could value me and encourage me..and wouldn't abuse me and hurt me.... (that sure wasn't MY family).. so now I have picked my family- YOU ALL!  lol... [Too bad we all had to weigh over 300 lbs. to meet up like this.  ]...but you know at least we all met here!  Everytime I feel defeated, I log on and read about my friends here... and it makes things better!

loudflower/Katy - that is GOOD news!  we are all so proud of you! about the pants fitting thing... just ignore it, seems like it won't be till you need new smaller pants and this will all be forgotten! 

Velvet Kiss/tonya- You are so smart for having a healthier lifestyle at your age... and it is a wise way to spend your money, a personal trainer...

Sun/Jayne - [I LOVE THIS GROUP!  I totally agree - I would not last without you guys - the support that I receive can only be given by those who have been there or are there - you guys ROCK!]  .. I second Katy's opinion!  And we all have you to thank!  You are the best, gf!

And just as an aside, when I weighed in this am I was 368.6 - down a total of 41.4 lbs  this month.. and it is all because of this group! Now trying to remember it's baby steps and every month won't be like this!

Love you all...Hugs..Cinn

I am not sure this is allowed but I have permission to reprint it... I read this and it just rung so TRUE to me.. hope you all enjoy it too...

The Woman Who Was Too Big For God

She was big.  No question about it.  Size 12 feet.  Broad hips.  Big belly.  Generous breasts.  Wide shoulders.   Big smile too. Even her voice was big, her laughter full and rich, capable of filling an auditorium. Some things fit, most didn't.  She searched for chairs without arms, hard to find in most places where the chairs cut into her back and sides.  She eyed every couch before she sat down, gauging its worthiness and her ability to rise gracefully from it.  She asked for seat belt extensions and the window seat when she flew so her bulk wouldn't intrude too much on her neighbor.  Once, when she traveled to Europe, she was stuck in the middle of five seats in the middle section of the plane. The whole long trip, she sat with her arms folded across her stomach and tried not to take up too much room.  She woke up, every now and then, and from the looks of the people around her, she knew her snore was big enough to drown out the sound of the movie. She took up space.  Lots of it.  She was too big for most rooms, she thought, and so she found ways to be on the edges, not in the center, as if people wouldn't notice.

She was big. Too big for most clothes, especially the pretty ones with sparkles and beads and ribbons.  She hadn't worn regular shoes for years, and the thought of her feet in dancing shoes left her laughing.

She was big. Bigger than almost anyone she knew.  Her hug was huge, two strong arms that could wrap around and hold a person close and be warm, safe, whole.  She was a great big pillow to cry into, one that held all the tears until you were done crying.  Her friends would tell you she had a heart as big as the prairies.

She told big stories. Outrageous stories about old ladies who ran away from home and went to summer camp or sent postcards from their travels around the country.  She told jokes, funny ones and stupid ones and ones that made you think for a whole day before you laughed.

There was a secret the big woman knew, something she didn't tell anyone.  She didn't even tell herself very often because it hurt to hear the words.  "I'm too big," she'd whisper, "too big for God.  Even God doesn't have arms big enough to hold me."  And then that great and big and gentle woman would cry.  And her tears were just like her- big and gentle and they washed over her face and splashed down into her lap.

A giant hole in her heart opened one day.  Nothing filled it.  Nothing healed it.  It just ached.  And there wasn't much she could do about it. She thought for a long time that it didn't matter.  It was really okay that God was too small.  But lately it wasn't okay.  Lately she was no longer satisfied to let God off the hook.  Either God was God, and capable of being big enough for her, or they could just call it quits right here and now.

"You're not too much for me," God said.  "Where did you ever get that idea?"

"I don't fit," the woman said.  "It's not just my body size.  I just don't seem to fit into the picture."

"Tell me more," God coaxed.

"Haven't you ever noticed," she asked, "that in all the pictures I'm the one just out of camera reach. My body doesn't all make it into the picture." 

God nodded. 

"But my life doesn't fit either.  It's not like the lives of my friends.  I don't fit inside a marriage.  I don't fit into my work.  I'm too big for people who want to follow all the rules."

"And what's wrong with that?" God asked.  "Who told you that you had to fit those pictures?"

"But you said---" she started to say.

"I did no such thing.  Never.  Now, granted, some significant people in your life may have claimed I demanded that, but I'm here to tell you that I never did."

"So why don't I fit?" the woman asked.

"Oh but you do!" laughed God.  "Oh, my dear, you do!"

The woman folded her arms across her chest and frowned.  "You're not taking this very seriously," she complained.  "You have no idea how it feels."

"Oh, don't I?" God chided.  "You, my love, are as grand and glorious as all the Rocky Mountains, as huge and wide as the oceans.  You are as big as a house-rattling storm that shakes the teeth of the people inside.  You are like a giant earthquake and as dazzling as fields swamped by flowers.  You are the embodiment of outrageous, silly, lavish grace.  You, of all people, you are not puny."

She studied God, puzzled.  "So, what you're saying is..."

"What I'm saying, dear heart, is that with you I do things in a big way." And God chuckled.

The woman chewed her lip.  "It's not enough," she said finally.

"Only because you've been hiding outside the frame of the picture," said God. "Look, people pack up their cars and travel for miles to see real mountains, not those puny little hills on the East Coast that they pretend are mountains.  No, I'm talking about the big ones!  The Rockies.  The Sierras.  Big mountains like Rainier and Shasta.  These people drag along their cameras and their video recorders and they spend all their time taking pictures.  And you know what?"

"What?"

"They go home.  They drop off the pictures to be developed and they do the laundry.  A week or two later, they remember to pick up the pictures.  They shuffle through them, try to remember where they were the day that picture was taken, and who took this strange shot?  They complain about the color.  And the flatness of the picture is nothing like what they saw those few weeks ago.  Then they toss the envelope of pictures into a drawer and forget about them."

"So?" she prompted.

"So, they never saw the mountains, all those vast giant beauties I created. They settle for puny reproductions and wonder why everything else in their lives is so flat and stale.  You are like those mountains, huge and grand and glorious.  People who see you only through the camera's lens will not know your beauty.  How could they?  They have forgotten how to see." 

God raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "Now you, you in your body, can you forget how big you are?" God asked.

She looked impatient.  "No, you know that!  How could I forget?  It's always there, always a part of how I move around in the world."

"Do you ever feel small?  Flat? Puny?"  God was grinning at her.

She stuck out her tongue.  "Hell, no!"

"Then you're seeing the real beauty, not some camera's reproduction.  And there are no edges to the picture.  You always fit."

"Yeah, but, . . ." her voice trailed off.

"I'll tell you a secret.  I like doing things in a big way, so people will notice, pay attention, wake up.  You're one of my best surprises."  God reached for her and spun her around and danced a wicked tango with her.

"You know," the woman said when the dance was over and a huge moon hung over the horizon, "you're a lot taller than I thought you were."

---------------

http://www.sizewise.com/articles/god/god.html

Everyone is just doing fantastic, especially where it counts.. in your head. 

For someone like me.. a diet will not work. ..tried a million of them!  I need a lifestyle change.. and since the stubborn "kid" inside hates change, I am trying to do it in small steps.. I want to change everything overnight, but that is a sure way for me to fail.  I completely understand incorporating favorite foods into your life.. after all what would lfe be without a piece of pizza or a hot dog?  I am not a tofupup kind of girl!  And life without chocolate is just not right!

 My goals for this week are simple: drink 8 glasses of water a day / record everything I eat / and eat some fruits and veggies every day. 

My longer term goals (for the month) : weight myself weekly without freaking out over numbers.. numbers are numbers / to stop refering to food as "good" or "bad".. food is only food.. my behavior makes it "bad" or "good".  Food can be unhealthy or even a poor choice for "my" health.. but it's not BAD.  / and move every day (this is hard for me because I am in constant pain  from my arthritis and in a wheelchair.. but not moving causes me more pain- physically and mentally.

It is so great to be a member of this group / It is a place where there is no shame... no one belittles you because of your size... and even your smallest, silliest goals are encouraged and supported.

Hugs to everyone!  Hugs.. Cinn

Original Post by dalmalama:

WOOHOO!!!

As of today, i weigh 220 lbs. i have now officially lost 100 pounds!!!!!!

 Congratulations!!! Well Done Indeed!  Brava!

Vegas, NY & Miami in that order. But I do like NCIS too.  I think all the actors are terrif and each lends a unique flavor to the shows... now we need CSI: New Orleans!!!!!!  Hugs..Cinn

Hello, all.. very inspiring stuff here.. this is my first day here and I am a bit overwhelmed.. found this group by accident and was hoping I could join.. I am over 400lbs presently and just about unable to walk at all.. mostly in a wheelchair due to severe knee pain from osteoarthritis.  I also have lymphedema which causes my legs to swell and accumulate fatty tumors.  Honestly.. sometimes it seems worthless to try to lose weight.  It is a vicious cycle for me.. as I cannot exercise without pain.. and the more sedintary I become, the more I am unable to even walk. I can't seem to put it together.. between my meds and my low self esteem.. Some days I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up.  I have been overweight my whole life but have gained over 100 lbs since I had the knee problems.  Every time I see a new arthritis DR. they tell me the same thing. .. consider bypass surgery.  But I can't.  I don't stop eating when I am full.. I will eat myself sick sometimes.  I don't know where I belong and joining this website is just a stab in the dark for me.  I sincerely hope I can do this.. even if it just so I am not in constant pain.  Thanks for listening to me whine..  Hugs..Cinn