Posts by foxriver

quick answer... yes and no

It won't hurt you but it won't help you either. Your colon does not need detoxing.

Original Post by zebulancherry:

Ew. Use your indulgence on homemade chocolate cake not nasty, colored, flavored gelatin.

 MMMM.... homemade chocolate cake...that DOES sound much better! Are you baking today zebulancherry? 

Thanks everyone for taking the time to answer. I still feel new at this "puppy momma" role, and even little things make me worried.

I will call vet Monday, I know she will have the answers. We will be taking them both back on Friday anyhow, as they are both set to be spayed that day. If I think of any further questions by then, I guess I can ask at that time.

Enchanting " In my experience when guys say they're going to call they do."

Really? Cos in mine, not always. 

just a note though...Wasn't there a storyline in Friends about Chandler being pathalogically unable to end a date (even one he did not want to repeat) without saying, "I'll call you". Maybe some men think it is expected of them to say that even if it is not sincere.

Anyhow, I second what Valpal said. There could be bunches of reasons why he didn't call and it is likely nothing personal.. Life get's in the ways sometimes.

Don't wait home for a call. Go out, have fun and meet other people. If he calls, you have been busy living your life. If not, he's the one who lost out.

ROFL  ... What number are we on??

You get elevators to yourself (others are too scared to get on with you, in case the cable can't take it).

A box of chocolates is a challenge, not a nightmare of guilt and denial.

Even the smallest amount of physical effort is is praised to the skies "wow you made it up 3 whole flights of stairs?" !

People who are trying to be kind, notice your lovely shoes/ new hairdo or manicure more.

I am so sorry that you are struggling with this.

It sounds like you are only recently recovered from your anorexia. I think you should talk to your family and be honest with them about this without being confrontational.

Explain to your parents (and friends too) that although you are at a normal weight now, you are trying to develop a normal relationship with food. Trying to eat when you are hungry, as a healthy person would and that you are still fighting the impulses of your ED.

Explain that their comments are not helping you, that maybe those remarks make you feel guilty for feeling hungry or not eating when you aren't. If they may understand better what you are going through, I am sure they will be more supportive.

However, the bottom line is that it is up to you how you eat. I mean, there will always be outside influences and people with ready comments on your diet (overweight people face those same pressures) but part of your recovery means you must learn to shut out the negative comments and continue with what you know to be right for you.

Regardless, you know that you can vent here and hopefully get good advice. And if you have an ED counselor, I suggest you discuss this with that person also.

YEP. IT'S A SCAM!

Friend of mine fell for it, thinking it would help her lose weight (as advertised). Sounded healthy and it was practically free.

She got the "free" trial and since she only had to pay shipping thought she really had a bargain. She went for the combo of Acai and Purity 12 since the site she went to, suggested magnificent losses for the combination.

She did not read all of the small print to do with the advert.

About two weeks later she got the pills.

After two and a half weeks her bank account was charged about $70 and $80 respectively for more pills.

Which she apparently agreed to without realising because THE WEBSITE ACTUALLY SAYS THAT YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE SENT (AND CHARGED FOR) FURTHER MONTHLY SUPPLIES WITHOUT HAVING TO RE-ORDER. UNLESS YOU CANCEL WITHIN 15 DAYS OF THE "FREE TRIAL".

She called her bank and requested they refuse the charge and then the pill people and cancelled her order. Saying she would not pay for further pills and future charges would be refused by her bank.

The call center people were nice. One even gave her a cancellation code. She thought she was done with it... no. The same thing happened the next month. Rinse and repeat.

BTW: AFTER ONE MONTH OF TAKING THE PILLS SHE LOST 3 LBS

THE SAME AMOUNT OF WEIGHT SHE WOULD HAVE LOST ANYWAY, BECAUSE SHE WAS ON A CALORIE CONTROLLED DIET WITH EXERCISE.

If you can afford $150 a month for a supplement that does not do what they claim. Go ahead.

Personally, I think maybe a vitamin supplement you can get off any pharmacy shelf would do you better good and will cost you a ton less.

I saw another thread on this subject a while ago. One poster had investigated more, she said those websites are all linked and the blurb is practically the same for each one, even though it is supposed to be different people recommending it. IT IS A SCAM. Don't fall for it.

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

People who don't know the difference between homonyms especially buy/bye/by; affect/effect; then/than GRRR; they're/their/there and your/you're

 

CrazyD you forgot: To/ two/ too

Abbi, You asked for honest thoughts from people here and you have got some great advice from GI-Jane already. Re-read her posts, they totally make sense.

Here is my 2c... think about what you are saying. Putting aside your mother's ED for the moment, You AND your family have been struggling with your eating disorder for FIFTEEN years.

Fifteen years is long enough. Your parents are getting older now and maybe they just do not want the constant cost and worry that you may slide back. Look at it from their point of view... previous IP stays have not really worked, in the sense that here you are, still fighting and resenting every pound you gain saying, "Look at Mom why cant I be just like her?". And then demanding that your "reward" for not gaining weight, should be another IP stay at the hospital. Where is your motive for gaining then?

No. I think your parents are right. They are doing what they can for you, offering financial and emotional support and encouragement, and paying for you to see a psychiatrist. And as long as you progress in your recovery, your parents will continue to foot the bill. Presumably, they also paid the nutritionist to provide you with the tools you need to gain weight. You say you understand this now and don't need to see the nutritionist any more.

From what you say, (and despite any underlying resentment you have towards your mother when you come out of hospital) I think that due to previous in patient spells used to drag you back from the danger zone, hospital feels like a safety net to you and maybe you feel can relax about your ED there, because everything is all taken care of. The control is taken away from you and the doctors and nurses decide for you. But REAL LIFE isn't like that and as a part of your recovery you need to deal with that. you need to be able to function in the real world without running back to the hospital whenever things get hard.

You already have all of the tools you need for recovery. You know what and how much you should be eating. Presumably you have worked on some of your ED issues with the psychiatrist. Allowing your emotions to take over and trigger your ED should be something you work on with the psychiatrist. If you haven't already, you should also bring up with her, this underlying resentment you have towards your mother regarding her ED.

It is understandable that you love and respect your mother, but you do not have to emulate her in everything and you already know that being anorexic is not healthy, so why would you feel it is ok to be like your mother in this. You attitude is... "if she can be anorexic, then why can't I?" you know this is wrong and unhealthy. Your mother is offering you the chance to get well. Take it. 

I think your mother has sensed that you want to keep that safety net of the hospital. But she wants you to RECOVER. As in, be completely better and not need treatment. You CAN do this. Her ultimatum of removal of financial support is her way of trying to wake you up to the fact.

Stop demanding hospital treatment as a reward for not eating/ not gaining. Study your motives for this with your psychiatrist discuss with her the reasons behind your resentment of your mother's ED. And seriously work on a real recovery from your own ED. It is time.

There's no doubt your situation is difficult.

With your husband incarcerated since your daughter was 6 months old, you have basically been a single parent as long as she can remember.

Your husband is doing what he can to stay in contact with your daughter and at least that little bit, is better than none at all (he is not absent through choice). If you haven't already, make a scrap book of the letters he has sent her, so that she can look back on this time later on and know that she was constantly in his thoughts, even though he could not hug her (that may be of some comfort to her, especially if things don't work out).

I would stick to the responses you have been giving your daughter regarding her father. Children that age are generally accepting of the status quo. By the time she is old enough to really question the situation, it will be resolved one way or another.

I'm sorry that I have no thoughts on how to make things easier for you. I hope that your husbands case turns out the way you want it to and that you do not have to fight this for too much longer.

From what you describe, you are doing everything you can to keep everything balanced and keep things as normal as possible for your little girl. Good Luck and try to stay positive.

Let me get this straight...

six months ago you went on the Master Clense for 6 days, couldn't last the distance because it was nasty/ made you feel ill, whatever the reason. And lost 20 lbs, in six days. Fast forward six more months and u- oh you have that same weight to lose again.

Did you learn anything from this experience?

a) Master Clense tastes nasty and makes you feel sick.

b) Depriving your body of the calories it needs to function properly makes you feel ill, causes your metabolism to crash and creates more problems in the future.

c) The weight you 'lost' was mostly water (not fat) as is claimed.

d) The weight 'loss' was not permenant, because you regained it in a short time (this is called yo yo dieting).

e) your body "clenses" itself through your kidney and liver. If you poop on alternate days (or more often) you are already removing all of the "waste from your system. You do not need a "clense" to do this.

f) repeating the same procedure and expecting different (more succesful) results seems like the very definition of insanity.

g) as a teenager you NEED a decent amount of calories. Even if you are not growing "up" any more, your body is still developing in ways you cannot see. You need heathy food to do this.

h) There is an easy long term fix that works for everyone if they do it correctly.

Follow a sensible diet, with a calorie level appropriate for your AGE and current height and use an excercise program that gets you moving for a minimum of 30 minutes every single day, including weights to delelop strong, healthy, sexy muscles. This will keep your weight under control PERMENANTLY.

On physical side, must haves are: 

Taller than me (so, 5'9" minimum). Brown /Hazel eyes, nice teeth. Hair, I prefer dark, but if losing it... gotta be shaved off. Physique: does not have to be buff but not vastly overweight either, somewhere in the middle is great. Broad shoulders and strong hands.

For Personality: good sense of humor. Not sarcastic or snide. Kind and generous. Romantic (holding hands etc). Must like kissing. Mature in attitude.

Original Post by thmheh:

You're "nutritionist" sold you something that was recalled by the FDA after the recall date?    Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen to me. 

It's been recalled and is not safe, why take the risk? (there is a sticky about it in fitness forum I think)

Anyhow, Diet pills don't work, because as soon as you stop taking them, your appetite and metabolism will return to normal. Unless you plan to take them for the rest of your life. Do you want to do that?

Reduce your weight, appetite and increase your metabolism the natural way. Eat a sensible diet and exercise more.

I understand the motivation to slim for an event. It's possible most people on here have tried that at some time. But surely you want lasting results you can be proud of because you worked hard (not just popped a pill).

Your birthday is just a day, but if you want to celebrate, then celebrate the fact that you are doing the right things to get and stay healthy for the rest of your life.

Original Post by notalone:

thank you all for your replies.  i guess i already know the answer.  my best friend doesn't really say anything about the relationship being toxic, but she keeps telling me i need to look at the underlying issues.  i think i have been in denial.  i have never once done anything to make him mistrust me. i feel so stupid for even having to ask and post this.  i'm just really scared and i am hoping to find courage through the internet, how weird!! 

yes he has isolated me from most of my friends, not directly, but through guilt and saying "but all i want to do is spend time with you".  i think this makes it worse, because i don't know who to turn to.

again thank you all...i have to prepare myself i guess for the inevitable.  i'll keep everyone posted.

This is undoubtedly an abusive relationship.

In your heart, I think you already knew this and posted here for emotional support while you come to terms with this idea and leave this loser. Feeling afraid of the man who says he loves you, is not right and not normal. We can offer all the support and advice you need, please leave this man.

In the past few months, I have seen several posts along similar lines. Sadly, it seems there are quite a few men who think it is okay to treat women this way. It is not!

Somewhere out there, is a man who will treat you with love and respect. Who trusts you implicitly because he has no reason not to. Who not only doesn't mind if you want to see friends of either sex, but will actually encourage you to do so, because he knows you will be a happier person if you have friends and family around you.

This man is an insecure and controlling bully. He makes it difficult for you to see friends and family (not by locking the door but by making you feel guilty). It is not normal for your boyfriend to be jealous of your family and you spending time with them (my guess is that he wants to keep you away from them because he is afraid that they will see through him and advise you to leave him). If he has an "attitude" when you are seen innocently speaking to another man....I am sorry to say, these traits only get more intense with time, as he and you, become used to him controlling you. Do not allow this to happen, for the sake of your own happiness, leave this man as soon as you can, before there is any further commitment to this relationship and before it escalates to violence.

One tiny warning: be prepared, your boyfriend will quite likely use emotional blackmail, feeble excuses and / or bribery, to get you to stay with him. Loads of calls, texts, (to see how you are) flowers, dinner invitations, even jewelery... he will possibly do some romantic stuff to "win" you back, saying he has changed (trust me he will revert to the previous behaviour). I am sure anyone who has been in a similar relationship will recognise one or more of the following ...

• I am only like this because I love you, SOOOO much.
• I only say / do those things because of the way you behave (classic control freak, blaming the other person)
• No one else could love you the way I do (rubbish).
• If we were married / engaged/ living together, I wouldn't feel like this, because I would know you are all mine (I can control you so much better if I am with you 24/7).
• You can see your friends / family whenever you want (yeah, if I want guilt and sarcasm from you, I can)
• I was only joking when I said those things, don't you know I didn't mean it?
• I can change, we could go to couples counselling (he wont change). 
• Lets go on holiday, if we can relax together, I won't feel this way.

Talk to your sister or mum, let your family / friends know that you need their support. I am sure they will be relieved and glad to help. Tell him you don't want to be with him any more (don't be kind or subtle or give mixed messages, such as, "we can still be friends". No. Be clear. Pack up his stuff and leave it somewhere else he can get it. Make sure you take his key or can change the locks. Then stay away from him, don't respond to texts or emails.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

That would be ME.

My hubby says that if there was such a thing as a talking event for the Olympics, then I would stand a good chance of getting the Gold Medal. Ha!

I have to make a concious effort to "shut up" when I know he is tired or not in the mood.