Posts by dkenworthy

Lots of overweight people struggle with embarrassment about their weight, and avoid/delay routine doctor's visits because of it.  I have a gut level feeling that it is part of the reason that overweight people have worse health outcomes than normal weight people, simply because they delay the necessary screening.  (No statistics to back this up -- I just know too many of us who are afraid of getting a judgemental response from a doctor).

Please don't fall into this trap.  You are making positive changes in your lifestyle, and even if you weren't you deserve to get good medical care.  If you have trouble with a specific doctor, try to find another one.  Take care.

I figured it was something like that.  Happy Monday morning!

I posted before about a friend of mine who lost a lot of weight, and got tired of talking about it or being defined as the "formerly fat person who lost a lot of weight sensibly on WW".  She started making up outrageous stories about her methods after awhile, my favorite being her starry-eyed, giggly, girl-in-love response "I am dating a vampire".

But I think I might have to add "the old fashioned way -- cigarettes and cocaine" as one of my favorite conversation stoppers of all time.

Congrats on the weight loss!

Original Post by rosieblue:

Yes I was sarcastic because it's the weekend and this is when all these posts come out.  It's usually young girls who are headed for disordered eating.  They go from forum to forum asking the same thing, trying to get the answer they want.  They don't want the sensible advice, they want others to enable them.  And they always get a few "heavier folk" who believe they are helping a fellow overweight member.

 

I am one of the "heavier folks" who got suckered into answering some of the EDish posters when I first joined as if, in good faith, the person needed advice on how to lose weight in a healthy fashion.  Only to find out in subsequent posts that the person had a history of disordered thinking and was flirting with a health catastrophe if she (or he) followed my (well-meant) advice.

I now routinely check out the poster if I have any doubt that the person needs to lose any weight before I respond, since I don't want to make a bad situation worse for someone.  I also avoid the forums where the posts are most likely to be from ED sufferers like Health and Support, but lately I find that many of them are in the Weight Loss forum which is where I spend most of my time (for obvious reasons).

Regarding sarcasm specifically, I have found as I get older that it is a dangerous tool even in person, and rarely successful in written forums like e-mail or internet forums where people can't see your expression and don't know you very well.  But I do understand frustrated people resorting to it when they run into the same posts over and over again.  But I still think kind firmness (not there-there kindness) is the tone most likely to succeed in getting people to re-think their approach.  GI-Jane and Hedgren are paragons of firm kindness, and we are lucky to have them posting here.

I think that for your height and weight, you are undereating.  And although it seems counter-intuitive to eat more to lose weight, I think since you are trying to lose a significant amount of weight, you would be better off at something more like 1800 calories as your target.  This will be a pretty easy transition (it has been my target for the past 7 months) from however you used to eat.  While we are still starting it is usually easy to drop weight, if you start with too low a calorie target you risk falling off the wagon long before you get to goal.  And once you are closer to goal, it leaves you with very little wiggle room to drop calories to "take off the last 10 pounds".

Also, every 10% of your total body weight you lose has significant health paybacks.  So, losing 20 pounds or so will be a great accomplishment.  I like to think of 10% at a time, and not worry about when I get to the final, healthy BMI goal.  Try re-running the calculator without an end date, see your total burn, and subtract about 500 calories.  Then, you can slowly add in some more activities, and safely lose about 6 pounds a month in a sustainable way.  Good luck, and welcome to CC!

You are 14, you are very low in weight and your BMI is teetering on the edge of underweight.  You should routinely be eating at least 2000 calories, and probably more if you are reasonably active.

I would also like to see more whole grains, vegetables and fruit in your diet, but the most important nutrient you are missing is calories.

You should expect to gain weight over the next few years because you are growing from a child into a woman.  It does not mean that you are getting fat, it just means you are growing up.

I love eating out for all the reasons merylwhite mentions.  I deal by making it a special treat -- in every sense of the word.  I dress up a little, I save a few calories by having a slightly lighter breakfast and lunch.  Once I am at the restaurant, I scan the entire menu to find what sounds most delicious to me.  Then I order a big salad or a bowl of soup to start with, and only eat the bread if it is really wonderful.  When the main dish comes, I draw a mental line (or sometimes I start by cutting it in half physically) through the middle of all the higher calorie parts of the plate and eat slowly, sipping water and chatting between bites.  I then take the leftovers home if it is delicious and have that for another meal.  I can usually estimate the calories pretty successfully, because I am a good cook and I have worked in restaurants so know pretty well how things are prepared.  And, of course, I can weigh my leftovers to get a very good sense of how much I really ate.  It isn't really that hard to guesstimate the calories in a few ounces of salmon and a half a cup of rice and a few tablespoons of sauce.  Or whatever I ordered.

I also avoid chain restaurants of all kinds, even the nicer ones, because they almost always add lots of sugar, fat, and salt to cover up the mediocre ingredients and preparations, and make it taste "normal" to people who usually go to fast food restaurants.

Last Thursday I went to a meeting and saw a lot of people I don't see very often and who know me only professionally.  I got about 4 compliments on my "new hairstyle"-- I don't have a new hairstyle.  But, I have lost 70 pounds in the past 10 months, and I do look a lot better.

That is great that your friends are starting to "get it".  I might also suggest that means that you are, yourself, really getting it.  I find that if I am clear and straight with myself, others read that and fall into line.  It is only when I am waffling and unclear about my plans that people get confused and start offering bad advice.

I started moving more and eating less in January 09, found CC (yeah!) on March 25, 2009 (I'll never forget, because that was my first weigh-in).  Am now about halfway to goal (lost about 70 pounds) and plan to get to goal around December 2010, but really however long it takes is my motto.

I am not really worried about maintenance, partially because it is so far away, and partially because I really changed my lifestyle.  I now have so many good habits of only eating when I am hungry, making good food choices, exercising regularly, and eating reasonable portions, that I can't imagine slipping back into my old, bad habits.  But I plan to keep logging in at CC to make sure!

My husband and I have both slowly gotten fat together over the past 20 odd years.  I decided in January that enough was enough, and started making small changes in my lifestyle.  Since I do most of the shopping and cooking, I have a lot of control about what comes into the house and onto the table (as do many women).  I would like him to lose weight, and he also wants to lose weight, but isn't interested in getting as involved as I am.  So, here is my approach:

• I make good healthy foods, and serve myself appropriate quantities, leaving him to make his own decision about how much to eat.
• I don't buy any junk food, or let there be any in the house.  If he wants potato chips, he is free to go buy them and eat them, but I won't be an enabler.
• I exercise regularly, but don't nag him about it.  We sometimes take walks together, but I don't let him stop me from going if he doesn't want to.
• I never, never nag him about what he chooses to eat.  But I am modeling a rational lifestyle for him.
• I do most of my obsessing about this here on CC, so I don't bore him to tears with the details.

So far, so good.  He has lost about 30 pounds (I have lost about 70), and is feeling better, but doesn't feel forced into anything.  Since this is the way I plan to live for the rest of my life, it doesn't matter how long it takes him, and he will eventually get down to a healthier weight.

I really sympathize with your dilemma, and hope that you can find a way to help him that works in the dynamics of your relationship.

Original Post by michachu:

Original Post by bsh0611:

I'm  nearly 5'8" and when I was weighing 115 in  my clothes the doctor told me that I should keep running 40 miles per week and that its better to be skinny than fat, even with my not having had a period on my own since April 2005.

 And this is why people should talk to someone better qualified and an expert on nutrition/diet rather than their doctor.

I assume you're at a healthier weight now?

This doctor should be sued for malpractice for not recognizing that a clinically underweight woman who isn't menstruating has a health problem.  I am not suit happy, but that verges on criminal.

I am a huge fan of domesticated cats, but feral cats are a completely different story.  Cats are not meant to live wild, they are not well adapted to the conditions out there after millions of generations of domestication.  It is bad for the cat, and it is worse for the ecosystem.  They compete with other predators for food, they build up communicable diseases (like rabies), and cause all kinds of problems.

I would never feed a wild animal like a bobcat or coyote or raccoon.  But feeding feral cats that have been neutered/immunized seems like the most humane solution to the damage wild cats are doing.  Keeps them from over-hunting, keeps them from reproducing, and keeps them giving rabies to other wild creatures.

ETA:  My shelter has released 3 feral cats back to me after neutering/immunizing (for free).  Full disclosure -- I adopted 2 cats from them, and routinely support their fundraisers.

I am in Northern California, and our local (no-kill) shelter has a great option that might work for you.  If you promise to feed a feral cat (or an entire colony) they will spay/neuter and release for free.  The notch the ears so that they know the cats have been altered.  I live out in the country, and have caught several wild cats in a humane trap, taken them down to the shelter, and then returned them to the wild.  I feed them once a day at my barn.

This policy has made a huge difference in our feral cat population for the better.

BTW, it is often very difficult to foster a feral cat.  If she hasn't been socialized, she will never really be a good pet.  Her kittens, though, can be a different story.  Good luck!

I try to avoid guilt, it never helps me make better choices in the future.  Make mistakes, assess how you could have done better, and move on.

That said, why would beans rice and vegetables make you feel guilty?  They are perfectly healthy choices.

I always take a stab at estimating what I eat, even if I can't be perfectly accurate.  As time goes by I have gotten pretty good at estimating mixed dishes -- I eyeball it and say, looks like 1 cup beans, 1 cup rice, and 1 cup vegetables (or whatever), and enter those items, maybe throwing in a serving of fat if I think that was in the dish.  If I made it myself, it is easy, I just use the new recipe fool, enter what I put in the dish, weigh how much of it I ate (or how many servings it made) and enter it in my food log.