Posts by lizzie492

Thanks for all your thoughtful comments.  I agree I do need to get over my issue with eating in front of people - I eat what I consider to be "normal" meals in front of people (although this hasn't always been the case - and I do still struggle as people tend to comment i suppose because i'm still thin "hungry are you?  where do you put it all?!" etc!) - it's when it comes to eating in the evening when I always seem to end up with calories left over that I have to eat to gain - if my flatmates aren't eating I feel self-conscious about it.  I still haven't decided what to do yet, but I quite like the idea of saying I'm trying to gain to get to a healthy weight because I lost a lot of weight when I was ill.  Like you say, it isn't a lie, but it means I might feel more at ease without having to reveal more than I feel comfortable with just yet.  Thanks again for the support xx

Emma:  please keep challenging yourself and shouting down that ED voice - remember there is no upper limit when you're eating to gain.  I promise you nothing bad will happen if you go above that 2500, even above 3000.  This is about you giving your body what it needs, not what your ED wants for you - it doesn't want you to be happy, it wants you sick and weak , with no life, independence or strength and your every waking second consumed by thoughts of food with no space in your mind or heart for anything else.  I'm sorry if I sound over-dramatic, but I've been there and I know you can choose a better outcome - it's completely within your control but you have to really want it and fight incredibly hard for it.  Be strong!  Eat that extra bit and show your ED who's boss!

B:  Greek yoghurt, mango and passionfruit compote, dried apple and pinapple juice

S:  Mango and passionfruit smoothie.  An apple

L:  Tuna pasta bake with sweetcorn and spinach and tomato.  Cheddar cheese and a dairylea triangle on top.  A banana.

S:  An apple and a clementine.  Orange juice.  Handful of grapes.  A chocolate brownie bite.  Doritos dipped in humous.

D:  Pitta bread stuffed with tuna and sweetcorn in yoghurt and salad and beetroot.  Dessert:  Muller rice apple pudding microwaved with a pack of raisins and cinammon.

S: Apple (my third today haha!)  Chocolate chip nutrigrain elevenses bar (yum!)  spoonful of pb.  milky tea

myvalentinesquest, its good to see you back here, and please don't be disheartened, reading your menu has really inspired me to push my cals higher - if you can do it so can I and I'm just wanting to get this weight gain over with now!  has been going on too long!

Today:  oats in apple juice and raisins with cinammon topped with mango and passionfruit yoghurt and sunflower seeds = 450

S: Banana and lucozade = 250

L: Cheese, grape and carrot salad with lots salad cream = 300 Salt and vinegar crisps = 180

S:  Chocolate eclairs and milky tea = 150

D  Potato baked in olive oil, with dairylea triangle, cheddar cheese, and roast chicken.  Beetroot and roasted red pepper in olive oil salad = 720

S: Mango and passionfruit yoghurt, fruit salad and 2 dark choc peppermint creams = 370

Drinks = apple juice, glass milk and a latte = about 300

total = 2720

Much more relaxed day food wise today, not sure why, but I'm hoping it lasts:) 

B:  Golden syrup porridge oats in full fat milk, dried blueberries, a large grated apple and cinnamon.  Glass grape juice = 520

S:  Eat natural bar = 190

L: Pitta bread with feta cheese and roasted veg.  Apricot french set yoghurt.  Slice wheat free lemon cake. = 650

S: Apple juice, an apple and a packet of fruit salad chewit sweets! = 250

D: Roast chicken, large salad with roasted peppers in olive oil, red onion foccacia bread, grated cheddar cheese and beetroot, with loads of balsamic olive oil dressing = 600

S:  Will be:  Another slice lemon cake with hot custard:)  = 320

Total = 2530...am actually a bit disappointed now I've added that up, thought it would be more!  Eating wheat makes me bloated so I feel as if I've eaten more than I have...bread tastes so good though!  Will squeeze in a hot chocolate to get it up to 2650:)

Agru and innocenteyes, thanks for the help, it's so nice to have people who understand the stress!  Agru, basically my IBS causes frequent diarrohea, (despite taking imodium every day) so my GP says my body probably isn't digesting and therefore absorbing the food I'm eating properly as it passes through me too quickly.  I haven't gained anything, and my GP's attitude seems to be that as long as I'm maintaining it's ok.  I disagree!

Don't have time now to post my menu, but I made 2720:)

My digestion was really not good again today, so am relying on drinking calories still.  In some ways this is good, as liquid calories used to be a big fear for me, but there's part of me that feels a bit like I'm cheating, because I'm not eating enough real food?  Does that make any sense?!

B:  Oats and raisins soaked in apple juice and cinammon.  Apricot yoghurt and almonds on top.  Glass orange juice = 500

S:  Trail mix and nature valley oat and honey bar = 330

L:  Roasted red pepper humous, oatcakes, and 1/2 a red pepper.  Pack salt and vinegar snack a jacks =  460

S: Banana and bottle of apple and raspberry J2O. = 240

D: Sweet and sour chicken with egg fried rice = 600

Drinks this eve:  Probiotic yoghurt drink, milk, orange and passionfruit J2O, hot chocolate = 390

Total = 2520

Stomach/digestion problems and intolerances seem to be really common in people after eating disorders - yet another reason why restricting food is such a bad idea!!  Can totally sympathise as it's so much harder to eat lots when your tummy hurts.  We've got to keep going though, our bodies need the food more than anything to get healthy and recover:) 

Also, yes dairy is amazing - I wouldn't make half my calories without it!

Yesterday:

B: Gluten free muesli, extra raisins, raspberries, honey and apricot yoghurt.  Apple juice - 550

S:  Hot chocolate - 220

L: Large baked potato with goats cheese and med veg roasted in olive oil. 600  Dressed side salad. 100

S: Muesli bar: 125  Banana: 100

D:  Mixed seed gluten free roll, with tuna pate, cheese triangle, salad with balsamic dressing and beetroot - 400.  Salt and vinegar kettle chips - 150

S: Ginger and honey full fat yoghurt - 235.  Milky tea with honey - 50

Total: 2530

Agruskin:  gammon is a kind of ham, quite meaty - you cook it as a steak or on the bone and its v yummy with cheese and pineapple!  And I love beetroot - I get the kind pickled in sweet vinegar in a jar - I'm addicted to it!  Think it's an acquired taste though...!

Yesterday's eats:

B:  Raspberry probiotic yoghurt, apricot frusli bar, OJ - 350

S (kind of my real breakfast!): Gluten free cereal, full fat milk, raisins and strawberries - 300

L: Brown rice, with tuna, peppers, red onion, sweetcorn and beetroot stir fried in olive oil.  Balsamic dressing and cheddar cheese grated on top. - 650

S:  Mango and pineapple smoothie - 175  Choc bite - 50

D: Amazing mexican spicy 2 bean chilli with sour cream, salsa, salad and rice - not sure (eating out) - about 650?  Rum and coke - 150

S: Hot chocolate and oat flapjack: 200

Total: 2525

Hi eringo, just a suggestion, but in response to your second q, is it possible you have a bit of a distorted body image?  I know there were times early in recovery when I was convinced that I could see the pounds piling on in the mirror - I even made my Mum "test" the scales for me because I was so convinced they were wrong!  It turned out it was just my ED messing with my head - in fact I had lost more weight.

It is great that you're positive about the changes you think you can see though.  Also, I hope you're right about weight gain meaning you'll be less veiny - I think my veins are the thing I'm most self conscious about! 

Keep going with the eating and I'm sure the results will start to show on the scales!:)

Thanks agruskin!  Yep, that's exactly what I'm trying to do, just eat what I want and use the meal plan/my mum to make sure I'm getting enough to gain.  So far this has been far less triggering so fingers crossed I can keep it up without the old ED thoughts slipping back in - it's really weird, literally as soon as I started counting calories again I started to want to "save" calories, even though I knew I was only counting to make sure I was having enough to gain!  Really scary as I had considered myself pretty much over my ED - but I suppose the desire to restrict might just have to be something I remain vigilant against for the time being.

Anyway, on to the important stuff - yesterday's eats:

B: Big bowl apricot yoghurt, muesli, trail mix and fresh pineapple

S: Hot chocolate with full fat milk

L: Gluten free multiseeded roll, humous, ham, salsa, salad with feta cheese and balsamic olive oil.

S: Chocolate and apricot muesli bar.  Bottle of lemon and lime juicy water.

D:  Salmon steak, baked in foil with butter and lemon,  New potatoes with butter and sea salt and peas.

S:  Raspberry cream yoghurt and toffee popcorn

Zeb:  Your menus really do put my attempts at cooking to shame!  They sound amazing!

Drivenlass:  Well done on coping so well while you're away.  Don't beat yourself up about the fact that you're still having to be "controlling" - I found recovering from an ED was all about finding ways of coping and dealing with difficult situations, and the more you practise the easier it gets.  Spontaneity will come later:) 

Although I consider myself pretty much mentally "recovered", I do still have fear foods and situations that scare me, because I worry that I'll publically freak out like I would have done before, but I faced another one yesterday- going into starbucks on my own and ordering a (non-skinny!) muffin (and REALLY enjoying it haha!)  During ED days I once left Starbucks in tears after being literally unable to order anything...not cool!

Yesterday's eats:

B:  2 slices thick white toast.  One with pb, one with marmite and butter. 

L:  Large tortilla wrap with red thai chicken and lettuce.  Bottle lucozade.

S: Chocolate teacake.  Vanilla yoghurt with a frozen banana.

Pre yoga snack:  Starbucks raspberry and white chocolate muffin:)

Post yoga snack:  Salt and vinegar ricecakes.  2 digestive biscuits.  Apple juice.

My tummy still can't handle much fruit and veg:(

Ugh, so after announcing I was going to start posting again and making a concentrated effort to gain back the pounds my tummy bug robbed me of, it turned out my IBS had other ideas - have been having real trouble making my calories.  Finally today managed something worthy of posting though, so fingers crossed I can keep it that way!  Realise I'm a little short on the fruit and veg, so this prob isn't very nutritionally balanced but can't deal with much fibre at the moment:( 

B: Sesame seed bagel, half with cream cheese, half with butter and honey.  Milky tea with honey.

L: Large sunflower seed crusty roll, filled with salad cream, ham and beetroot.  2 cheesy oatcakes with butter.  Sea salt tyrell's crisps.

S: Bottle of lucozade.  Vanilla yoghurt.

D: Orzo pasta in minty dressing, with spinach, ham and parmesan cheese on top.  Bread roll on the side.

S: Lots of random not massively healthy snacks throughout evening!  Haribo sour mix, toffee popcorn, pink wafer biscuit (yum!  not had these since I was about 10!)  crackers with cream cheese.  Hot chocolate.

Yeah, I mean doing it on my own is the long term aim anyway.  As much as I love my family I'm sorry to say recovering for them wasn't enough motivation; I only started to get better when I realised I wanted to recover for myself.  I want to prove to myself that I'm capable of looking after myself and feeding myself properly, and if I can manage to gain weight on my own then I'll feel extra confident about being able to maintain my weight - isn't it crazy that anorexia can take away your ability to do something as fundamental as eating enough?! 

Anyway, enough rambling - think I'll plan to weigh myself once a week like you did Chrissy, and have a go at drawing up some meal plans, though perhaps use them more as a rough guide as I don't want to lose the flexibility I've managed to get back in my eating.  Also, totally agree with the yoga for sanity - I don't think I'd have made it this far without my yoga!

Hey guys, look who's back on the weight gain band wagon...

Have been doing so much better recently, and I must admit I enjoyed my break from posting, though I did keep reading this thread, and have been impressed by how hard everyone's workingand its good to see some new faces:)  Despite mentally feeling loads better though, I've had a tummy bug followed by a bad flare up of IBS and have lost 4 hard-earned pounds:(  its been a bit of a wake up call for me about how important it is that i get back to a healthy weight as my body currently has nothing "in reserve" if i get ill.

I'm determined to get those precious pounds back asap, and posting on here keeps me focussed so as of tomorrow i'll be back posting away!  Wish me luck!

xxx

Eskimo: welcome and congrats on making the decision to gain:) 

Lineyline:  I'm happy to see you back!

Am starting a new course tomorrow so going to be forced out of my comfortable eating routine, but am determined not to let it beat me, and to keep the calories up!

Am enjoying some classic eats today anyway...

B: Oats and raisins soaked in milk and cinammon overnight.  A large banana mashed in this morning (my mum reckons this looks like baby food, and she has a point!  tastes yummy though!) Glass OJ.

L:  Fresh walnut bread (amazing!)  roast chicken slices, cream cheese and beetroot.  2 spoonfuls chilli rice salad.  Balsamic olive oil dressing.

S:  Raspberry probiotic yoghurt with a chopped apple and pb.

Planned:

D:  Turkey steak in peri-peri marinade.  Asparagus and buttery new potatoes.

Going for drinks so will shout down the ED voice and treat myself to some juicy mocktails (ED doesn't like the "unpredictable" nature of such drinks, but I do, so I'm not listening!) then probably a bedtime yoghurt, granola and hot chocolate snack!