Posts by k192

Hello Swimfan

You just described my life.  I have treatment resistant depression and yes I did cut and yes I tried several times to kill myself.  I'm not anorexic.  I binge eat.  I do suffer from severe panic/anxiety disorder to.  I have been hospitalized more times then I can remember.  I had ect treatments several years ago and at the time it saved my life.  So don't be afraid of it, go for it.  The memory loss is alot less then I thought it would be and now I don't have any memory loss from the ect.  I will be honest with you I still have some down times but I promise they are not as severe as they were.  Also I am taking abilify with wellibutrin and that combo of meds is working good for me.  Please be brave and do this.  I promise you feel no pain.  I haven't been hospitalized in a long time.  I do not cut myself anymore.  The panic attacks aren't as bad as they were.  One thing I did do after the ect treatments was to continue my therapy.  I still see my therapist.  But I think everyone could benift from seeing a therapist at one time or another.  I'll be thinking of you.   I truly beleive the ect treatments have helped me.

Good Luck to you

I am alot older then you and I still get paniced at the thought of going somewhere new and only knowing one person, my husband.  I think you will do great.  As the person above said everyone loves a good listener.  I find that it helps to ask them about themselves.  I have to go to alot of social events for my husbands work.  So I really am familar with being in a room full of strangers while my husband is out doing his thing.  You will do fine.  Go and have FUN.

This is a form of self mutilation.  I call it self injury.  I suffer from this.  If I have a sore or anything I pick at it until it bleeds.  It started with my fingernails.  I now have scars all over my body.  You are brave to be asking about this.  It something  that is very difficult to quit doing.  I see a therapist over this and to be honest with you a;sp from other situations.  Maybe it is just a habit with you, but if your asking for advice, it leads me to think maybe something else may be going on in your life and it is coming out this way.  I don't mean to imply anything,  I am just telling you about me.

I have had it done twice.  As the first lady said, it's know big deal.  They hook eledtrodes to you and then pace you on a treadmeal.  They will monitor your heartrate and will keep asking you if your okay.  They up the speed a little at a time.  It doesn't take very long to do this.  I have also had the injection.  It is done by i.v. and it speeds up your heart as if you are doing a work out even though you are laying down.  Personally I's rather walk on the treadmill, but neither is that bad.  I promise.

I take 20 mg. of ritalin 3 times aday and so far not had any of these side effects.  But my doctor ask me each visit if I am noticing this.  So I suggest you consult your doctor also.  You don't want this to be something that can last forever.  So just to make yourself feel better put a call into you doctor.

I take ambien on a regular basis.  Yes it does cause me to want to eat.  I try to keep something life a fiber bar or a few crackers by my bedside at night so I will not get up and overeat.  I have also been guilty of not knowing that I have eaten alot of  food during the night and not knowing I did it until next morning.  Yet I suffer from depression and when I don't sleep in a few days I have to take my ambien or the depression worsens. 

I to don't know your history.  It doesn't matter what kind of doctor you need to see it is great that you took the first step to go see a doctor.  For me I needed to see a psychologist.  The phone call to make the appt. was teriffying.  Now here it is much later and that was one of the best moves that I've ever made.  Congratulations for your strength and good luck to you.

I'm sorry that you had to find a note like that.  You did the right thing by involving other people.  Now your mom knows that someone is aware of her feelings.  Now all you can do is pray that your mom seeks the help of someone.  I have wrote a sucide note before,  I regret that I have put my family through this.  My family got involved and told me to seek professional help.  Also when you write something like this your not thinking rationally, so don't take anything she may have said personally toward yourself.  She is just hurting inside herself.  Don't let this situation set you back on your problems.  You still need to concentrate on yourself and that is not being selfish.  Do you see a therapist for your ed.  If so talk to them.  Maybe what your mom is saying is true about deep down not feeling suicidal, not to give you a false sense of security,  I didn't mean it when I did this and I am a wife a mother of two also.  Stay alert of her mood that is all YOU can do.  If you see her mood slipping or if she seems to happy take notice and again talk to your dad or grandparents.  If you and your mom can talk about anything then maybe you can talk about this and tell her how much you love her and this scares you so much.  I know this may be uncomfortable to you, however this is what my family did to me.  

  Take care of yourself, a setback on your part will not help anyone, especially yourself.  

p.s my kids have rumbled through my things looking for money if I am not home to give it to them.  Maybe you were suppose to find this note.  All kids are selfish as all people can tend to be selfish, we are human.

Seek the help of a therapist if you can't control this feeling.  Wanting to throw up after eating out of guilt is a sign of an eating disorder, especially if you feel this way when ever you eat anything..  It will lead to trouble for you in the long run.  340 calories for mexican food, my friend, is good.  While eating this you made good choices and was able to control the size and amount you ate.  That is a good job.  Loss the guilt over food.  I talk from experience.  I also see a therapist.   

nicole, find someone to listen to you.  Family is the hardest people to understand how you are feeling.  You didn't say how old you are, if your in school seek the help of your guidance counslers, teachers, pastor or talk to your family doctor.  Find someone to listen to you,   If you are an adult make an appt. with your doctor.  What ever your age do not be afraid to seek help from someone.  Crying all the time is not a normal thing to do without reason.  I suffer from severe depression and when I am down I will cry over nothing.  I also feel sad and have negative thinking.  I see a therapist now, and I am on meds..  There is help out there, it's just having the courage to seek it.  I am also a mom and sometimes a mom has to hear "mom, I need help". Just that straight.  We as moms don't want to think of our kids being sad or hurt.  We can put blinders on.

I will be thinking of you, Karen

I understand what your saying.  Just this a.m. I got on the scales and lost.  What did I do I screwed up I have ate all my calories for the day and it is only noon.  I don't have any advice except to myself which is that I use food to comfort or reward me.  Food should just be nurishment for the body not for emtional needs.  Today it was to comfort and I ate high carb comfort food.

Good luck to you

maggiepro

Congrads. on the stop smoking.  I am 48 and diabetic.  My ac1 score for diabetis was over 7.something.  I started about 10 months ago calorie counting and walking,  I have lost 28lbs. and my ac1 for diabetis is down to 5.9 which is in the normal range for people who don't have diabetis yet.  My dr. told me if I continue doing what I am doing I may be able to go off my meds.  So I urge to take charge of situation now before you have to try to fix it.  It is no fun taking blood sugar leverls all the time as well as really having to watch what you eat.  I also need to lose about 39 more lbs..  I have been diagnoised diabetic for over two years now.  So you can reverse the problem, but do it before you are forced to.

I know this is a late reply.  I was going through the libary and you caught my eye.  I will gladly support you, unless you have already lost all your weight.  If thats so congradulations.

I suffer from depression and I just came off a down spell.  It had been awhile since I had one, so I was scared to death that it was starting all over again.  However it only lasted less then a couple of weeks.

  Dealing with all your going through it is no wonder your feeling stressed!  I two had one day surgery back in feb.  I was afraid that I would lose my motivation because I too had to take some time off of exercising.  All I can say is that I am back on my cc and exercise.  Its okay if you need a break.  The world will not end, but if your depression seems to get worse or last to long talk to your dr. about it.  I'll be thinking of you