Posts by coco621

I am in a bit of a different boat, but I am a recovering anorexic caught in a vicious restrict/binge cycle, and I binged BIG TIME last night as well. I usually exercise the next day intensely to make up for it, but I woke up and it is raining cats and dogs, so I am NOT going to go take a run to compensate. 

In fact, it's probably best for your body, even when it's sore and yucky from binging, to just eat regularly the next day. I find that when I try to compensate by "skipping" breakfast or whatever the next day, it only perpetuates the awful cycle.

Best of luck to all of you. Disordered eating of ANY type is tough to deal with, but we CAN overcome this

Tori, you are absolutely right. Thanks for the kick in the butt!!!

Wow, kbain, thank you SO much for that. I am really struggling right now to accept weight gain (I am 21 yrs old, female, 5'6.5" and 105ish at the moment. My lowest was 93 and I was 108 until a few weeks ago when I started school again and started losing which is bad). My GW is between 120-125, which is my pre-ED weight. I look at pictures of myself even just a year or year and a half ago, and I look so healthy and happy and beautiful, and I realize that I am too thin. But I have this fear of never being able to stop gaining, and never being able to be normal about food again! I think about and analyze things SO MUCH and it's awful. I know I will get through this but sometimes it is SO hard.

Today has been rough mentally, and it's not even dinnertime yet. However, I am going to be making dinner for my roommates, which is a huge step. Wish me luck.

B: 2 waffles w/ greek yogurt & fresh berries; coffee

L: turkey wrap; apple slices; fig newtons; carrots & pretzels w/ hummus dip; V8 splash

S: Ensure; Clif Nectar bar

D: will be... sweet & sour meatballs! (meatballs cooked in cranberry sauce/marinara sauce); with egg noodles

dessert: ice cream bar

S: prob pudding or a luna bar or oatmeal or a bagel, and some more ensure!

I'm reeeeally having a hard time mentally. Counting calories and logging them on this site was just making me even more obsessive & causing me to "cut corners" and measure things more than I used to. Therefore, I'd rather write down the basic items for a few days but not the exact calorie counts. Plus, I don't measure things like cereal or pasta or milk  or juice usually, so it's impossible to know the exact count anyway! I'm sick of obsessing over how many cups of noodles I'll be eating tonight and how many cups of sauce and blah blah. I just want to gain and get these ED thoughts out of my head!!! I want to go out to dinner with my dad tomorrow and order what I want and enjoy it!!!

Most 16 year old males eat wayyyy more than 3000 calories a day, and that's just to maintain when they are active and young!

how tall are you? I am also around 105. I had gotten up to 108, and my first week back at college dropped to 103.5. Now this past week I gained about a pound and a half.

Now I am struggling more than ever to even keep my weight up. I am more active just from walking around school and working at a job where I stand for hours on end. And I am way more exhausted than any 21-year-old woman should be.

Please keep eating more. I stopped counting and thinking about it, and LOST weight. Now, I am logging my calories for the next week and setting a minimum at 2600.

Everyone's body is different, but if you are still underweight, push yourself to gain more. It is SO hard, and I am struggling immensely, but I am sitting here with my waffles and yogurt and chocolate milk and telling myself that this is what my body NEEDS. 

We only get one life, and we want to be able to have the energy to live it! Let's both try to gain together! I am aiming for at least 120!!! I am around 5'6.5"

Original Post by innocenteyes:

100% agree with everyone who said it's a struggle when other people seem to eat so little. sometimes I'm surprised though, I think people without EDs just sometimes 'slide' calories in without making a thing of it, so it's a bit different to us. like they will drink a glass of juice randomly, or chew some mints...my parents will eat very little all day and have massive dinners which I couldn't get down despite eating a weight gaining diet, because I eat far more regularly than they do.

Such a good point, and something I struggle with. Before ED, I would always snack or have a couple cans of coke or a big glass of OJ or some gummy worms or something and not think twice. So I think it's hard for me now because I usually plan my meals and snacks. So, even though my roommates might not eat big "meals", they are constantly grabbing chips and apple juice and random cookies from the pantry. I suppose it all evens out in the end! I hope that one day, I'll be able to snack without thinking twice too!!!

Also, my nutritionist always reminds me that eating a big hearty breakfast is something everyone should do, regardless of whether or not they are trying to gain or even lose weight. Breakfast fuels you for the day! So, while my roommates' tummies are growling in their morning classes, at least I can stay focused because my tummy is well-fed and happy!!!

Sorry, just needed to vent. I'll post again soon

Original Post by betty1302:

Breakfast: Porridge ( oats and milk) with raisins, cinnamon, peach and soya nuts

Snack: Yogurt with seed mix, apple and cinnamon

Lunch: Pasta with prawns, tomato and garlic dressing, spinach, peppers, tomatoes, cucumber, beetroot and melted cheddar cheese

Snack: Greek yogurt with wheatgerm, agave and almonds. Fortisip

Dinner: Seafood casserole with olive oil, garlic, brocolli, ww spaghetti and hoi sin sauce.

Snack: Milk shake

Snack: Will be bowl of shredded wheat, milk, strawberries, raisins and almonds. Fortisip

I`m finding it really hard recently and today was esp hard because its the weekend and more people are around home, it really gets to me how little some of them eat, I know I need to eat more but it just makes it very difficult.

Laura/Betty--

I can TOTALLY relate to feeling like others barely eat. I am struggling MAJORLY recently (which is why I haven't posted on this thread much this week) because my roommates barely eat. I force myself to make 3 waffles with yogurt and a banana for breakfast, while they don't eat breakfast at all!!!

This has resulted in an unhealthy pattern of me restricting during the day when I'm around them b/c I'm so self-conscious, but then I get so hungry that late at night I binge until I feel physically ill. It's a horrible pattern and needs to stop.

So, I am going to plan my days so that I get the calories I NEED (who cares what anyone else needs, right?!) and spread them out evenly throughout the day.

So, although it is only Saturday afternoon here, I'm going to post my planned meals for Sunday 9/13 in the hopes that I'll stick to them:

B: 2 packets oatmeal w/ banana mixed in; 1/2 bagel w/ apple butter; coffee

L: turkey & cheese sandwich; apple w/ PB; pretzels/chips

S: Ensure

D: amy's organic tofu stir-fry w/ leftover corn mixed in; ice cream bar for dessert

S: pudding; luna bar; Ensure

I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but I'm trying to ease back into eating balanced meals and snacks throughout the day. Plus, with the Ensures I think it's over 2500!

Jemima, I completely agree! It is really frustrating to see someone count one measley tootsie roll as a "snack" when I am trying to convince myself to eat a lot of high-cal, high density foods!

I like reading the "what did you eat today" thread to see people who are eating 2,500+ (and am especially inspired by those eating over 3,000!) because it makes me feel like I have company in my struggles, and inspires me to work harder. Sorry moonpie, because I know what it's like to feel like 1600 is a lot. But, it really isn't enough.

I agree that calorie counting is not "normal"--none of my 3 healthy, happy roommates worry about fat grams and calories and organic foods and yadda yadda. I am struggling, however, with convincing myself that I'm having enough when I'm NOT. So for the next couple days, I'm going to post my planned menus here to help myself. I won't put exact cals of each item, but rather an approx value of the whole day according to CC's log.

I hope to also get rid of my habit of restricting during the day and bingeing on about 1500 cals at night!

So far today I've only had breakfast, but here's what I have planned:

B: 2 Kashi blueberry waffles topped w/ blueberry greek yogurt & fresh berries; 1 very large mug of coffee!

L: (@ sandwich shop on campus) Turkey on thick wheat bread w/ swiss cheese & veggies; pickle; lemonade/snapple; big M&M cookie! (the place makes them from scratch and they are super tasty and HUGE and not organic and I don't give a ****!)

-->edit: Instead of turkey on wheat bread (SO boring, right?), I pushed myself and got a 10" spinach tortilla brimming with delicious veggies and salsa and goodness! AND instead of an M&M cookie, I got this delightful (and probably pretty healthy) oatmeal-cranberry cookie the size of my face. It was incredible.

D: boca burger; slice wheat toast w/ butter; 1 cup corn; blue corn tortilla chips w/ salsa; V8 splash to drink

S: Ensure Plus & Luna bar

Feedback would be appreciated. I'm trying to just have one small snack at night and eat more during the day (hence the bakery cookie I'm planning on getting!), so I'm not left eating bowl after bowl of oatmeal at midnight, which makes my tummy feel yucky.

Do you guys think I'm getting enough? I am 5'6"ish and am currently around 104-105. I was up to 108 this summer but lost weight my first week back at school

Should I maybe add another snack or granola bar or something to gain faster? I am pretty active as I walk to class every day and also work a few times a week at a coffee shop, where I rarely get a chance to sit down!

HONEST FEEDBACK is welcome. Sometimes my ED makes me think I'm having enough when I just am NOT!

Hey tiff! I am 5'6"ish and have a similar goal (120-125). I am currently around 105. It can be SO hard to fous on weight gain when busy (I go to school and walk there most days, plus walk around campus, plus have a job at a coffee shop where I'm standing the whole time, so I understand your frustration!)

However, I am realizing that weight gain CAN happen if we make it a priority. It's tough, but we can at least try!!! Good luck

Today is my friend's birthday and I went out to a Sushi place and got 2 rolls of sushi, then came back and had a BIG piece of ICE CREAM CAKE WITH FROSTING!!! i am SO proud of myself. A few months back, I NEVER would have allowed this. 

And guess what? It was DELICIOUS

I have a nutritionist and she recommends NOT counting calories, as it is very triggering and only furthers obsessive ED behavior. However, my nutritionist still encourages me to eat a VARIETY of foods, both healthy AND unhealthy, not just eating sweets and chips all day. Instead of counting calories, she has me on a plan of 3 meals and 2 snacks plus supplement drinks (Ensure or Boost Plus).

I love my nutritionist because she teaches me about healthy eating, serving sizes, etc but still encourages me to go ahead and have that dessert as long as I've had an adequate and healthy dinner.

If you aren't connecting with your nutritionist, then find a new one. However, I think it's helpful to have one. Not counting calories is hard when you're so used to it, but I think it's good to try to get rid of that habit fast because it can further ED thoughts. That's just my personal opinion.

Best of luck!

Thanks everyone for the creative ideas! Went grocery shopping today and got lots of good stuff for quick, easy, healthy, and delicious meals, so hopefully it will all work out. Thanks again :-)

Original Post by agruskin:

COCO+GYMNAST-hi, congrats on ur progress thus far!

id suggest a goal weight of 130 to put u at a better chance for health.  anything lower would still leave u as UNDERWEIGHT.

Agruskin,

I completely agree. I am about 5'6.5", and pre-ED I was naturally on the smaller side, anywhere from 120-130. SO my doctor has set a GW for 125. However, my SHORT-TERM goal is to get to around 115-120, so I can at least be in the healthy BMI range. Then I will definitely aim higher. I know it is especially important for those of us with EDs to aim for at least a BMI of 20 to prevent relapse and provide a "cushion" for illness, etc. Thanks for your concern and support!!!