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| Health & Support | Daughter's eating habits... what to do? | May 13 2009 04:17 (UTC) |
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No offense taken, but I have to assure you that I AM concerned for her well-being--I feel that quitting these binging behaviors is the first step to becoming normal, which is why we're pushing her so hard. We just want her to live a normal life. My husband and I just want what's best for her--we've tried all of her life to get her to open up and be part of the family, but she is completely against having anything to do with us. I just feel like as long as she doesn't want to be around us or accept help from us, there's nothing we can do but to keep persisting with therapists and medication.
She is 17, by the way.
I do need to get some sleep, as I have work tomorrow, but I'll be back tomorrow--thank you all for the advice, I appreciate it! |
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| Health & Support | Daughter's eating habits... what to do? | May 13 2009 03:58 (UTC) |
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You're right--it is definitely true that the parent plays a vital role in shaping her child. Before our daughter began starving herself two years ago, she had very bad eating habits and was overweight. For years my husband and I had struggled with her, but eventually she overcame us. She was SO SPOILED that my husband and I simply gave up and let her eat entire pizzas. I realize that allowing her to continue these eating patterns was our fault. But when she developed obsessive eating habits, we worked with her but she would not comply at all. Again, she is very negligent. My husband and I have tried, time and time again, to reach out to her; she simply blows us off. She wants to live in her own little world and does not want to accept help from anyone on the outside. It's to the point where we're SO tired that we just can't help her any more. We have taken her to countless therapists but she refuses to comply. I just don't know how to reach out to her, because she won't reach back. My husband and I realize that there are issues lying beneath the disordered eating. She has OCD, and the binge eating is just another one of her obsessions/addictions. This is why we think a stern approach is best; it's an obsession that simply needs to be replaced with another, healthier obsession. But, bubbles, what you said makes me think: do you think this is just a result of her OCD, or are there perhaps more deep-seeded issues behind her eating patterns as well? She has not had an abusive childhood at all, but she was very different. She has gone most of her life without many friends because of her behavior (she also has Asperger's syndrome, which might account for the lack of some social development) and she was a very negligent child. She either refused to do any activities we might have signed her up for, or quit without really trying. Her sister, on the other hand, was very active and had lots of friends; she was the exact opposite, it's so strange to see. |
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| Health & Support | Daughter's eating habits... what to do? | May 13 2009 03:32 (UTC) |
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Original Post by lsami: Thanks for your quick reply!
As far as enrolling her in dance or some other sort of activity, she would ABSOLUTELY REFUSE. We have tried to get her to get out and do so many things, but she is so lazy. She DOES exercise excessively (she walks 7 miles a day) and she just got a part-time job (her first job, although she is 17 and just graduated high school), but otherwise she just sits at home and eats. She barely has any friends because she has pushed them away with her obsessive behavior. She won't even swim because she "doesn't want to look at her body in a swimsuit."
She has asked us before to simply not keep binge foods in the house, but my husband and I have explained to her that it's simply not fair. Me, my husband, and our other daughter should not have to give up the food we eat because of one person. So, our solution was to hide the food--but she finds it anyway.
I have tried my hardest to show affection, but she simply does not show it back. She is SO negligent. Not only does she not talk to us, she will often curse at me and her father, and constantly fights with her father. Believe me, I've tried my best, but it doesn't seem like she's trying hard enough herself (although she ALWAYS says that she is trying her best to stop her behavior, I don't see it!). But believe me, I am trying my hardest to comply with her, I simply wish she would do the same for us. |
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