| Forum | Topic | Date | Replies |
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| Weight Loss | So close to my goal and then I lose it | Dec 27 2007 21:57 (UTC) |
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| hi, i am the same. i was about 2 or 3 lbs away from where i wanted to be, i now find i am 11lbs away! It's a slow, creeping up of calories for me, so subtle that you don't really notice it. I don't have a partner but I do have a daughter that loves to eat and she's in perfect shape! My main problem is snacking so since xmas day I have tried to stop eating between meals, haven't weighed in since tues so don't know if it's working for me. I think seeing as you have lost so much weight so far, you know exactly what needs to be done, but i'm with you in that there's something about that 'goal weight' that seems to freak me out! Stick with it, I'm sure you will get there! | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 21 2007 20:03 (UTC) |
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| wow trustwomen, that was an amazing reply. I am so grateful to you for your advice and to all of you who have replied to me. I am so glad I have you all right now. Very tired, so can't type much, but will be back soon. | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 20 2007 22:52 (UTC) |
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| Fortunately, I am just about to start my 2nd year at University which is keeping me going right now. I have a number of friends dotted around but I think they tend to go underground when something like this happens, although to be fair, I haven't reached out for them yet as I feel rather ashamed by all of this. Hopefully within the next couple of weeks I might feel a little more inclined to get out and go to the pub or something. I am feeling very protective of my daughter at the moment and am a little scared to leave her side. | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 20 2007 22:36 (UTC) |
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| Still waiting on my husband to go see his lawyer, tomorrow hopefully, but he's being tricky. Told me today that he doesn't know if he wants to be married to me if there's going to be an issue with sex or if I am going to nag him about what he's done! He also told me that there was no guarantee that he won't contact this 22 year old girl he's been seeing! He said he wants to break to think about what it is he wants!!!!!! Arrrgh. I am so mad I want to smash the house up, but I need to be sweetness and light until he's done the legal stuff. This is driving me mad!!!! | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 18 2007 19:28 (UTC) |
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| It's a shocking thought to know that ultimately he's not bothered about our marriage and that I now realise that I probably never was very important to him. A friend of mine (I'm afraid I'm probably boring everyone to death with this!) remarked that if he was truly bothered by losing his family he would be banging down my door pleading to at least have the chance to explain, but well, as we all know, that's not what he's doing. In fact, quite the opposite. I guess I know now that I am doing the right thing. It's this time of day tho that I start to feel very low (it's half past seven in the evening here) and I've had enough of being nocturnal now. Any good strategies for getting to sleep and staying asleep? | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 18 2007 11:17 (UTC) |
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| Thanks everyone and particularly trustwomen for your amazing input. I called him this morning to give him the appointment time for our meeting tomorrow with the lawyer and he got very aggressive over the phone. He told me it interefered with a 21st birthday party he was going to tonight (wonder who?) and that he couldn't have me rearrange it for friday as he was going to watch tennis at Wimbledon as part of a hospitality event!! I was amazed at this? His social life is carrying on as normal, whilst I am at home, awake all through the night worrying about my future, my daughter's future and my parents too. I just hope that somehow he can find somewhere a little bit of respect to meet me tomorrow to get this sorted. I feel sick and have lost almost 7lbs in 4 days as I just can't seem to swallow food. It's ironic, that I came on CC because I wanted to lose weight, but NOT in this fashion. My parents, poor things, are hanging on my every word because they are worried about where they might be expected to live. I am worried that I may have to give up my University course (although it's vocational so hopefully the courts will see that I will be a qualified podiatrist by summer 2009). If i wasn't for you guys I'm not sure what I'd do, as I don't feel that family or friends can respond in the way that unbiased folk can. I will keep you posted, if you're interested!! | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 17 2007 13:02 (UTC) |
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| I agree sun123 that I am very concerned about the impact on my daughter. Of course I would not talk to her about the situation from an accusational standpoint, and always detest it when I hear that children have been used as pawns in these cases. I want her to love her daddy, I know that he loves her. I am in no position to take that love away and god knows I would never want to. It's such a crying shame, I am responsible for her happiness and to be quite honest I would never have brought another person into the world if I'd known this was going to happen, but I don't have the ability to see into the future!! I have booked the appointment with the family lawyer for this Wednesday so hopefully we can get things sorted out quickly. I will probably opt for legal separation and see out the 2 years before divorce, unless things get really bad. We live in the UK so I'm not sure how different the law is here related to the US. I feel very sad. | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 17 2007 05:36 (UTC) |
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| and...sorry I didn't add this in before, I think you guys are great and value all of your opinions. I am not a manhater. I truly want my husband to be happy for the rest of his life. | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 17 2007 05:33 (UTC) |
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| I suppose now that I have to justify myself for my husband's actions. In fact, it was my husband who wanted my parents to move into our annex (they don't live in the main house) because he knew that it would be great for our daughter to have a good relationship with her grandparents as he himself had done with his. When he had his first affair (at least I think it was his first) our daughter was tiny and I had suffered quite bad postnatal depression but had really worked through it well and felt I was on the road to recovery when I discovered his infidelity. I actually understood why he might have felt compelled to do so and although he would never ever talk about it with me I tried and tried to put it behind me. I guess the fact that he would never open up to me about it caused a huge rift, and of course I felt I couldn't trust him. I did however think that he'd turned a corner and wouldn't do it again. Things were okay. There are many other misdemeanours I have revealed, telephone calls to women, emails etc. and he is a heavy drinker and rather aggressive when drunk (although never physically - never laid a finger on me or our daughter). I have never been unfaithful. All I am guilty of is staying at home and raising my daughter and I am truly proud of what she has become, she is a credit to me and at the moment my ray of hope. I am also very very glad that my parents are close at hand. I am more than sorry things have turned out like this, I went into my marriage with all the best intentions. BornAgain, I read your posting with interest and can totally understand where you are coming from, and to a large extent I agree. Possibly this is my husbands perception also, but as he has never chosen to sit down with me and discuss anything I probably will never know how he feels. | |||
| The Lounge | eeek just found out about my husband's second affair | Sep 16 2007 20:48 (UTC) |
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| Thanks for your advice everyone. I would hope that he would leave, he works away from home mon-fri anyhow so there would be little difference as far as my daughter is concerned. He's never been much of a family man, i.e. never having breakfast with us, rarely having evening meals with her, he has no idea what she does at school or afterschool clubs etc, so I guess he's just far more interested in his life than anyone elses. The upshot of all this is that I think I despise him, so the thought of sneaking in the shower with him is quite repulsive to me! I think I already know what I need to do. The other problem is that my parents live with me so I can't leave him, he's got to leave me, and that's probably what I am going to have difficulties with. | |||
| Weight Loss | Is ANYONE happy with their body? | Aug 30 2007 20:32 (UTC) |
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| It has been very interesting reading your comments, and I guess the majority of us aren't all that happy with ourselves. I was looking at a magazine today where they printed some photos of celebrities and had labelled the article "Awful pics" but to be honest when I looked at them I couldn't really see what was wrong with these women until I read the text next to the photos and they were saying things like...."perhaps Paris Hilton should cover up her legs", the poor girl had ONE vein showing on her shin!! Another was of Geri Halliwell (from Spice Girls) and she was leaning forward in a bikini and you could see a slightly puckered slightly saggy tummy - my god the woman has just had a baby and looks marvellous, but the text said she looked like she could do with some nip n tuck there!! Eeeek! And I overheard two men on the street criticising a girl (probably about a UK size 10 - sorry don't know what that is in a US size) walking on the other side of the road who looked perfectly fine to me, but obviously as far as the men were concerned, they'd have been pretty pee'd off if they'd paid for it!!!!! I mean honestly, us girls don't stand a chance | |||
| Weight Loss | Is ANYONE happy with their body? | Aug 28 2007 19:54 (UTC) |
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| I meant to say ....and have a healthy beautiful child.....wasn't clear, sorry. | |||
| Weight Loss | Is ANYONE happy with their body? | Aug 28 2007 19:53 (UTC) |
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| you are right nomoreexcuses and that's why i am struggling to cope with the guilt. I think also that I am on summer break from Uni (I'm a very mature student!) and have little to concentrate the mind until I go back in October, hence I direct my concerns inwards. I had hypnotherapy to try to make me grateful for what I've got, what I am etc but so far that's not worked and am now trying a homeopathic remedy (I think I have it quite bad to be honest). I am truly grateful to be fit and healthy beautiful child and good healthy people all around me, so can't understand my feelings right now. | |||
| Weight Loss | How much weight and how fast? | Aug 26 2007 14:33 (UTC) |
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| I agree with trixiebunny. I am only 5'4" and am at 116 right now. I am aiming for 112 but wouldnt' want to go lower. I think you may be a little on the underweight side if you tried to get down to 110. What is driving you to be this weight?
To answer your question however, I started here on CC in April 2006 and was 134lbs, I got down to 112lbs by August 2006, but that was with a lot of hard training, calorie counting and a major event in my life that meant i HAD to get there by Aug. I have since gained 4lbs this past 12 months but that's fine with me, however I am working again to get back to 112. I think that if it's incredibly hard to maintain a certain low weight then our bodies probably aren't meant to be at that weight. I am going to get to 112lbs, then see how things go, if I gain a little then I probably won't bother to diet after that. I think it's how you feel and look that's essentially more important, and I should imagine that at your current weight you are probably in the 'perfect' bracket anyway. |
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| Weight Loss | Good strategy that's been helping me... | Aug 26 2007 14:24 (UTC) |
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| I do it too, but I go to bed at 6pm!! It's the only way I can keep out of the larder!! | |||
| Foods | New drink with zero calories | Aug 24 2007 18:55 (UTC) |
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| Here in the UK, we are so limited to what tasty sodas there are. We have only just got used to Diet Cherry Coke!! I am waiting for the day they start importing Diet Coke made with Splenda, as I have given up sodas and in fact EVERYTHING that contains Aspartame!!! Eeek it's horrible stuff. You guys in the US are sooooo lucky to have so much choice. I think we can get Coke Zero here now, just started to appear on the shelves a few months ago, but it's still aspartame filled and caffeinated. I bet you have a great choice of herbal teas too don't you!!!!! Wish I lived in the US! | |||
| Foods | Diet Coke v. Other Non-Calorie Drinks | Aug 14 2007 07:59 (UTC) |
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| Hi Everyone! I think all things in moderation is a good general rule (perhaps with the exception of smoking and drug taking!!). However, it's a very personal issue as far as diet soda drinking goes and there is a lot of information out there (mostly delivering bad news) about diet coke. Of course, nothing has been truly scientifically proven, so I can't see why those who enjoy it with no ill-effects should stop, but you know your body the best and if there's something inside telling you that you should cut back or stop altogether you should probably trust your instincts. Diet sodas just might not be good for YOU - on a personal level. I too was drinking up to 1 litre a day of the stuff, along with 10 mugs of decaf coffee a day, and decided to give my body a rest, just for one month, from both things. I'm half way through week 2 at the moment and do feel better for it, much clearer thinking and I've dropped 2 lbs. More importantly I don't feel beholden to the stuff....no ball and chain if you know what I mean. However, if I decide in two weeks time to have the occasional DC or Decaf, then I will. I don't believe life should be lived in a constant state of restrictions and deprivations......we need to have fun, and be healthy at the same time! | |||
| Weight Loss | How can this be?!! | Apr 12 2007 19:33 (UTC) |
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| Thanks for your responses. I am slightly obsessed by the scales still (I started my diet almost 12 months ago) and want to maintain but have noticed the pounds creeping on very slowly. However, in spite of my determination, and although I am following the same path I did 12 months ago to lose, it doesn't seem to be working in the same way. | |||
| The Lounge | 911 - where were you 5 years ago today? | Sep 11 2006 18:01 (UTC) |
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| hey jay, no need to apologise. i guess all of us in the UK should consider ourselves European, but you ask any Brit and they will probably deny it!!! :) | |||
| The Lounge | 911 - where were you 5 years ago today? | Sep 11 2006 17:56 (UTC) |
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| Hi Jayd294mp, not sure I understand your message? The UK extensively covered the events on that day. I am from the UK and spent the whole day watching the events unfold and pretty much it was on TV here in England for the rest of September. We also have programmes on TV and radio regularly. My daughter was a month old and I remember crying pretty much all day (I was in hospital with depression anyway - so probably shouldn't have watched the news). One thing this did was to make me realise that I should live everyday the best I can and to enjoy what I have here and now. My thoughts go out to everyone directly and indirectly affected by terrorism all over the world. | |||
| The Lounge | Where are you from | Aug 31 2006 14:01 (UTC) |
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| Hampshire, UK but I'd rather be in California! | |||
| Weight Loss | Back from europe, lost 5 pounds | Jul 30 2006 21:38 (UTC) |
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| not such good news for me, is it possible to gain 2lbs in 7 days on an actiivity vacation? I was careful about what I ate, the only difference was a glass of wine a night but lots of walking, tennis, aerobics etc in sweltering temperatures (corsica). I weighed myself this morning and....up by 2 lbs!! I feel very despondent today! but congrats to you guys who've lost, and being a european did you enjoy yourselves when you were over here? | |||
| Health & Support | Chewing and Spitting | Jul 16 2006 20:56 (UTC) |
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| Hi All. I am not sure how 'unusual' C and S actually is, I also don't see it as being as extreme as binge eating or vomiting food. It's a bit like having your cake and (almost) eating it too. Sure, the best way would be to factor calories into your diet and eat all those calories, however, there are times when you fancy a bowl of cereals with milk and sugar (splenda!!); you don't want to have an extra 250-300 kcals on your daily limit, but you still want the psychological satisfaction of having it in a bowl in front of you. It's surely is a terrible waste of food, and this is the aspect I struggle with the greatest. I can't bear the thought of wastage, and always hate the fact that the western world has so much when others have so little. So, yes in one way as I can see that for me certainly it is a compulsion and a total waste of food, but I don't feel that I nor my family suffer in anway from it. I have a wellwoman check every 12 months and my results are always super, I am very fit, almost at my target weight, happy, confident but have just this one 'vice'. I can think of worse things I could be doing, and as mentioned in an earlier thread I have been doing this for 20 years with no progression to anorexia/bulimia. | |||
| Health & Support | Chewing and Spitting | Jul 14 2006 17:17 (UTC) |
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| Hi All, I have done this for years (probably about 20!). I just chew it and then get rid of it. When my mum found out all those years ago she was devastated but I have never thought it was a big deal. I do it every day without fail, but never with 'forbidden' foods, just bread and sugar free jam or shredded wheat with water and splenda (still calorie conscious). I know that I am taking in some calories doing this but have some idea of the bread and jam in the first place, then try to work out roughly what percentage I may have inadvertently swallowed. I guess I have OCD right? I have never become aware of anyone else who does this so right now I kind of feel better that someone else does this.
Aladrien, do you do this everyday? |
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| Weight Loss | Size six. | Jul 10 2006 20:47 (UTC) |
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| My thighs were totally awful until I got to about 118lbs (I'm 5ft3) and then the weight started coming off. I am at 116lbs and have actually received a few compliments on my legs! totally unbelievable after being called tree trunk legs most of my life. The sad fact is that I carry most of my weight on my thighs it seems, so after all the other weight has been lost from everywhere else on my body, it then starts to come off the legs!! I'm aiming for just 4lb before going on the maintenance level. Thighs looking good now! | |||
| The Lounge | COME ON ENGLAND!!!!! | Jul 01 2006 19:25 (UTC) |
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| oh nooooooooooooooooooooo....................... .................
still there's always cricket............... |
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| The Lounge | COME ON ENGLAND!!!!! | Jul 01 2006 16:49 (UTC) |
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| thanks katy! so far nothing BUT at least we haven't lost! | |||
| Weight Loss | oh no - I am obviously hopelessly lacking in intelligence! help needed | Jun 29 2006 20:07 (UTC) |
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| everyone your responses are very helpful, however I've been advised by CC that I'm supposed to be eating 1045 kcals a day to get to my goal (only 6lbs away!). Is that healthy to eat this amount? | |||
| Weight Loss | oh no - I am obviously hopelessly lacking in intelligence! help needed | Jun 27 2006 18:48 (UTC) |
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| Hi Meljo, many many thanks for that.
It finally makes sense! I will cut and paste this so that I can work it out on a daily basis. Was just about to head for the fridge but better stay put! or do an extra 30 mins on the elliptical before my snacking starts!!!!!! |
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| The Lounge | 10 Questions (random questionnaire) | Jun 27 2006 17:39 (UTC) |
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Scariest moment of your life? getting married One word that would best describe you? frank If your friends and aquantances were willing to bluntly tell you what they really think of you, would you want them to? Why or why not. oh yes, that's my philsophy
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