Posts by willowraven

vrykolia writes:
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Hey Vry! Is this for 1 day (meaning just September 1st)?

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 **all participants, please read**

Also, to the rest of the participants, just give me a weekly total, not day by day as I will only be updating the totals once a week (usually by Monday PM at the latest).  So, for example, the first full week of September is 9/2 through 9/8, so on Sunday the 9th (or Monday the 10th at the latest), you will post how much water you drank from the 2nd to 8th.  On Sunday, the 16th (or Monday the 17th) you will give me your total for the week of 9/9 through 9/15 ... and so on.

For the first and last week of the month that are only partial weeks, only give me the days for those week that are part of September.  Because they are only 1 day long, you can either:

• add September 1st to the week total for week ending 9/8, OR give it to me as a 1-day total
• add September 30th to the week total for week ending 9/29 (which means you would post the week total on Monday instead of Sunday for that week)  OR give it to me as a 1-day total

Just let me know which option you are doing when you post your totals.

You need to tell your nutritionist and psychologist the truth, about what you are doing, because you are in a bad cycle right now and you may need some help from them.  Part of the reason you are binging may be because your body is NEEDING the food.  Taking the laxatives and then undereating is NOT good, and is only going to lead to more cycling between binging and starving AND bring about health problems, if you aren't already having them.

Please, I urge you, for your own health and safety, tell the doctors you are seeing. 

Nobody cares what you look like in a bathing suit. Nobody cares about the spider veins on your legs. Nobody cares if you can't spend 30 minutes on the treadmill at the highest speed.

Even at the age of 42 I *still* get demeaning remarks and looks thrown my way - by men, by women, by young people, by older people. It's hard to believe "nobody cares what you look like" when how I look is what incites these people to respond this way. It's been like this ALL my life, even when I wasn't this far overweight. It has gotten way beyond the point that even if I told myself "nobody cared", the looks and sneers and comments I get is enough to deter me from doing anything or going anywhere or really loosening up and enjoying myself and life. And am I imagining it? No. One day we were at the 7-11, putting gas in the car. I was wiping the windows down while my husband was putting the gas in - my oldest son (who is now 18 years old) was sitting in the car, windows rolled down. A car of 20-something guys drove by (the 7-11 is at an intersection with lights) -- while they sat waiting for the light to go from red to green, all four of these "men" (I use the word "men" quite loosely here) leaned out of their windows and started screaming insults at me and pointing at me. Both my husband AND son were ready to go after the men and "defend my honor", but I told them not to, as it would not have changed how they felt or the fact the damage was already done.

And when did this happen? Three months ago.

So yea, hard to really believe that "nobody cares". It doesn't matter if they "know you" or not - the comments still hurt, even if their "opinion doesn't really matter at all" because I still have to live within this society and, for me, this is what society is telling me "it" thinks of me.

As for family.... I had my own mother tell me that I would be single forever because "no man is going to want an obese mother of four". How do you fight that? How do you fight the fact that your mother - who is suppose to love you unconditionally - pretty much reinforces what those "nobody's" are telling you?

Oddly enough I was going to write about this in my journal as this is something I've been thinking about for a while... so might just continue my "thoughts" there.

The other little tidbit she said during that appointment that was a real eyeopener (I had brought a print out of all my logs: food, exercise, water, etc) - was that doctors and nutritionists do NOT pay attention to how much exercise you do in a day vs what you have consumed. Yes, they stress that exercise is important (and they don't dispute that), however she stated that they do not take it in to consideration when determining how many calories you have had (or should have) for the day. That if you are suppose to have about 1800 calories for the day, and you burned 400, then you have a net of 1400 - you don't "eat back" the 400 you burned because now you have made your intake up to 2200 for that day.

As I said, real eyeopener and changed my whole thought processes on the dieting and food logs and everything.

I had my gallbladder removed in May 2000, after 2 months of constant GB attacks. It was awful - like having a knife running through my chest. I had a hard time breathing, couldn't lay flat in bed (slept sitting up in a living room chair for the 2 months), couldn't eat ... couldn't even stand the smell of food cooking. Even having water and rice cakes brought on attacks. The first severe attack had me doubled over and I thought I was having a heart attack. I tried for a while to shrug it off, thinking it would go away on it's own, however after a solid month, I was calling the doctor, who immediately got me a referral to a specialist. About 2 weeks later, I walked in to the specialist's office, he took 1 look at my x-ray and told me that I would be admitted the following week to have it removed - no if's, and's or but's.

Yes, please have it checked out.