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| Fitness | quick q for the weight lifters - | Aug 22 2008 21:18 (UTC) |
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| YES! That is the site - thanks kks!! | |||
| Motivation | Ready to get back on the wagon... | Aug 22 2008 21:17 (UTC) |
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| I've been too busy to come back here, but I have kept up with the walking - every day except yesterday. And on Wednesday, I managed to run half of my usual route!
Diet is still not quite back on track, but I'm being a bit more careful watching portions, etc. And the tomatoes are finally coming in - so this weekend I'm making a huge batch of gazpacho!!! |
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| Motivation | Ready to get back on the wagon... | Aug 14 2008 19:58 (UTC) |
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| Writing this post got me motivated - I just did a 30 minute power walk. Yeah me! | |||
| The Lounge | relationship problem with boyfriend! Help plz! | Jul 26 2008 16:33 (UTC) |
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| You don't have to ask him straight out if he is gay, but you could ask him if he's ever considered or experimented with the opposite sex. Tell him you were reading somewhere that human sexuality is on a continuum - very few people fall into "gay" or "straight" categories, but somewhere in between, with a leaning or preference one way or the other. Your *preference* may be towards the opposite sex, but you could have some attractions towards your own sex. This could be fantasies or actual experimentation. Bisexuals can go either way and they fall in love and choose the person, not the gender. The rest of us might experiment or fantasize but when it all boils down to it, we feel most comfortable choosing a relationship with one gender or the other. It's about a preference.
Ask him what he thinks about that concept. This could open up a dialogue. If this guy has been this way his whole life, then I would be surprised if he hadn't at some point questioned his own sexuality, or had it questioned for him (like you are doing now). Effeminate men get mercilessly teased in high school - and often beaten up too. My DH has some effeminate qualities (he is a brainy nerdy type who hates sports but loves musicals .... and we've seen Hairspray several times!) and he got teased a lot growing up. In college all his friends turned out to be gay, so he had to wonder. But he is NOT gay because when it all boils down to it, he has zero interest in men - his attractions are only for women. But ultimately I think you may be confusing gender identity with sexual identity. Two different things. Sexual identity is about who you want to sleep with. Gender identity is about which gender you identify with. For example I have a friend who was male and had the operation so now he is a she, but she still prefers sex with females. Now that is an extreme example: there are a lot of people out there in the world who hate gender stereotypes and just want to be who they are. Even if it means hating sports and loving musicals. |
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| Fitness | OUCH! My running is starting to hurt.. | Jul 26 2008 07:12 (UTC) |
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| My guess is that it's a simple matter of doing too much, too soon, too fast. Beginner's injury.
You have not been running nearly a year.... there are still several months until November. You've been running 3/4's of a year. And competing in 5k's and training for a half marathon. That is the definition of too much, too soon. Especially if you started from a position of total inactivity. I may get heck for this but... no beginner should run anything more than *perhaps* a 5k competively during the first year. You are doing way more than that, and it hasn't even been a year. This is the perfect set up for injury. Just classic!! Your muscles and ligaments take a lot longer to get conditioned than your aerobic system. This is why beginners get injured: their hearts and lungs say "I could run for miles and miles" but their muscles and ligaments are a few steps behind. The first year should be about running for pleasure and habit, not about distance or speed. (I say that, while also knowing perfectly well how hard it is to slow yourself down and pace yourself... trust me!!!! I have a loooonnnnngggg history of "beginner's running injuries" so I know what I'm talking about here... heh.). Listen to your body. Right now it's screaming: stop running, I'm in pain. Do some cross training while you heal (biking is a good x-training exercise - you will not lose your aerobic capacity, and it will train your muscles in similar ways). Tell yourself: "I want to run the rest of my life" not just "I want to run the half-marathon this year." It makes a huge difference in how you train. Look at the big picture. And don't cry..... if you are still running in 2015 - whether you ever compete in a half marathon or not - you'll be more of a runner than most people are. (((hugs and ice)))) |
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| Fitness | Pelvic Bone Pain | Jul 25 2008 16:43 (UTC) |
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| How much/often are you running? Have you recently ramped up your running distance?
Here, see if any of these fit: http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/cms/article -detail.asp?articleid=1383 |
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| Fitness | Pelvic Bone Pain | Jul 25 2008 16:12 (UTC) |
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| lycyalus, I also had the bulging disc at L4-L5! This is what I mean about how the problem may actually originate from someplace else. In my case, it was because I'd lost the natural curve to my lower back, which caused the bulging disc, and pressed on the nerve.
I did certain exercises to restore the curve, but I also had to work on stretching and strengthening my hamstrings, because they played a big role in the problem. I think that's ultimately where the whole thing originated for me: tight hamstrings, with one leg stronger/tighter than the other. I forgot to mention yoga balls. Those work wonders. You just position them in certain places and lie on them to release tension all down your spine and in your glute muscles. |
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| The Lounge | How to tell hubby its not his fault | Jul 25 2008 15:34 (UTC) |
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| Hmm, I would take a non-sexual approach to this. Your DH is feeling unattractive. You just had a baby and your focus and attention is all on that baby - he's feeling neglected. He may even be going through something akin to a withdrawal effect - not having your touch as often. (We humans are addicted to each other ... that's why break-ups hurt so much).
What I would suggest is that you make a conscious effort to compliment and touch your hubby every day.... in non-sexual ways. In the morning when he's getting dressed for work, give him an admiring up and down glance. Tell him how nice he looks - "that shirt really brings out the blue in your eyes" or "mm, you smell good"... Run your hand over his biceps (even if you are holding baby in the other hand). During the day call or email him to let him know you're thinking about him. Remember to say please and thank you (little things like this help). Show him appreciation for the little things he does. When he comes home from work, no matter how hectic things are with baby, stop and give him a nice kiss - not a peck. A romantic kiss. Grab his butt occasionally (if he likes that sort of thing). At dinner sit across from each other and connect with your eyes, long, lingering wistful glances. If you watch t.v. together at night, consider turning it off and talking instead, or make sure you are sitting close enough for body contact instead of in different chairs. When you go to breastfeed baby before bed, do it lying down on the bed, and ask your hubby to cuddle up behind you. Tell him, "Junior has your chin... he's going to be just as handsome as his daddy!" When you sleep at night, sleep naked and hold each other as you fall asleep. Chest-to-chest contact has been shown to increase female libido - something about transfer of testosterone from man to woman. Doing things like this may just get you in the mood more often. But even if it doesn't, he'll feel sexy, wanted, and attractive.... whether you have a lot of sex, or not! Keep in mind that sometimes men feel a bit threatened by baby. They see all their wive's attention and energies and love going towards care of the baby, instead of them. He may be feeling jealous, and hating himself for feeling that way. So he makes it about sex instead, when what it is really about is that he's now got a rival for your attention. As much as you can, include him in the care of the baby, so he feels he is a big part of that too, and is not so left out. Tell him there is nothing sexier to you than seeing a father with his child. (True for most women, I think!) |
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| Fitness | Pelvic Bone Pain | Jul 25 2008 15:08 (UTC) |
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| If it burns when you stretch it, don't stretch it. :-)
My recommendation is to try stretching other muscles - everything else but your hips. It could be that your hips are tight because your lower back muscle is tight or your hamstrings are tight etc. It's all connected. If you just stretch the part that hurts, you don't get to the origin of the problem, which might be tightness or weak muscles in other areas. Since you are a runner, the most obvious question is: do you run on the street in the gutter? If you do, this could be why you have hip pain. Running in the gutter, one leg is shorter than the other. Try running on a flat track or a path instead of the road. Check the wear pattern on the bottom of your sneaks. Is one worn out more than the other? This could be due to a leg length discreapancy (which can be acquired, by running in gutters all the time, or congenital - you are born with it and need a lift in your heel to even things out). Or you could be over/under pronating. May be worth going to a running store and having them check your gait to see if you have the right shoes. If all that checks out, then the second thing I would suspect is that your hamstrings are weaker than your quads (very common in runners, especially if you never tackle hill running) or your abducters are weaker than your adducters (I may have that messed up - I can never remember which is which!). Runners tend to be weak in these muscles because we're always going forward, not side to side. Another possible culprit is that you are sitting too much, in a chair or position that is causing problems. In other words, it's not the running - it's what you do after running. Your muscles may be tired after running, then if you sit for hours in an office chair, you are more likely to slouch. If you tend to cross your legs a lot while sitting, this may also be part of the problem. If it's your right hip, and you drive a lot, this could also be part of the problem - having your foot on the gas pedal all the time. Look at yourself in the mirror. Is one hip higher than the other? This is what happens to me - I get out of alignment easily. Also stand with your back against the wall. Can you get your hand between your lower back and the wall? Is there a slight curve, or no curve? Yoga helps greatly, but you have to go gentle and you have to do the whole routine - not just one or two targeted stretches. Ibuprofen is better for this than tylenol. You may indeed have to stop running temporarily - try bike riding instead. What you want to worry about is that if you keep running on it, you can set yourself up for a stress fracture, which is a lot worse. I had that happen years ago and it was awful. You don't sound like that's the case - yet. But if you have alignment issues or unbalanced muscles or tight muscles elsewhere, and you continue running, you can end up with a chronic or worse condition. |
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| The Lounge | Facebook encourages anorexia | Jul 09 2008 22:34 (UTC) |
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| I want my teens to be able to use facebook, and have no problem with the site in general. They have a lot of fun with it.
I just objected to these ads - they were truly awful, picturing "before" shots of women who needed to lose no weight at all, and "after" shots showing skin and bones. And seemed to be the only ads in rotation for days on end. Anyway, I sent in a complaint and now the ads have seemed to disappeared. There is only one weight loss ad in rotation but it's not objectionable: it shows a "before" with someone who is overweight, and an "after" with someone of normal, reasonable size. Now it is serving up casino ads instead... LOL... but that doesn't bug me so much! It was just these other ads - they were bad, bad, bad. |
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| The Lounge | Facebook encourages anorexia | Jul 09 2008 03:21 (UTC) |
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| The same ads aren't showing up on my facebook, or my DH's facebook. Only my DD's. They are 14 and 16.
I think the facebook ads are WAAAAY worse than anything I've ever seen on c-c ... true I have been away for a few months... but I have never seen anything this bad anywhere on the internet (and I travel far and wide). Just to be clear, we're not talking about airbrushed skinny women; we're talking about *skeletal* women. Are you sure you have seen the same ads I'm talking about? |
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| The Lounge | How do I delete this? | Apr 17 2008 13:30 (UTC) |
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| You deleted the original post before I got to read it, but I'll throw out that my uncle had an inoperable brain tumor - this was years and years ago. They gave him only 7 months. He lived a full, happy, healthy 10 years after that prognosis.
And my DH's uncle has two forms of very serious, aggressive cancer - lung and brain. Both forms are extremely, EXTREMELY rare - and completely unrelated too. There is very little the doctors can do for him. He was also given only a few months to live. That was 5 years ago. His last checkup, the lung cancer is in full remission. But the brain cancer is everywhere.... doctors say he shouldn't be able to function at all, yet, he functions just fine! They don't know what to make of him. Since I also saw your other post - about going back to work (before I read this thread), I'll add that DH's uncle has been working as a volunteer in the hospital cancer center. He enjoys the work very much. He deals with people who have just rec'd their diagnosis, and he's great with them because he's living, breathing proof that the doctors don't know everything, and one can beat the odds and dire prognosis. He also talks about this volunteer program, where the hospital needs people willing to jump on a plane at a moment's notice to hand-carry organs. It's free travel!! He's ineligible due to his condition at the moment, but if you've always wanted to travel, perhaps this is something you can do? |
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| The Lounge | How do I explain a 5 year gap in employment? | Apr 17 2008 13:16 (UTC) |
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| They may not even ask.
I have a 5 year gap because I stayed home to raise babies for awhile. Then I have another, more recent 9 month gap, during which I was laid off. Nobody ever asks me directly about this gap, although sometimes I'll offer up the info anyway in the course of conversation.... and move on. Or you can always just say, "I took 5 years off which was a great break, but now I'm re-energized and ready to come back." and leave it at that. Just be sure to smile and not look glum and ominous, like you're hiding some big horrible secret. Because then they will probe around.... as much as they can, legally. Because legally, your health history and divorce is none of their business. So they can't ask - and don't fall into the trap of offering it up. Nowadays, people do take time off for all sorts of reasons, not just to raise kids or for health reasons. This is the nature of our workforce, where people move on after an average of 4 years and job hop and move around, and families usually have more than one breadwinner so they can afford the luxury of taking turns working. For example I have a friend who recently took off several years simply because she wanted a break from her fast-paced career, and she was fortunate enough to have a hubby who could cover their living expenses while she took some R&R. She had no problem getting a job - and few people ask her about this employment gap. If they do, she simply says, "I was fortunate enough to be able to take off some time to smell the roses and enjoy life for awhile." Honestly? I'm not sure I would mention the brain tumor because that may raise all sorts of issues in their minds - do you have any lasting damage that would prevent you from doing the job? Are you going to be too much of a liability on the company insurance? Etc. And I wouldn't mention the divorce either, because it's absolutely none of their business. Be confident and focus on the NOW, not on the last 5 years. |
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| The Lounge | packing light | Apr 14 2008 15:54 (UTC) |
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| Yeah, mail whatever you can ahead of time...
Otherwise, I think this all depends on where you are going, what the weather will be like, what you will be doing, and your personal lifestyle in general. If you are a student who lives in jeans, that's one thing... if you are a tourist who lives in dresses and skirts, that's another entirely. Can you provide more info? |
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| Health & Support | What to ask my Doctor | Apr 10 2008 16:44 (UTC) |
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| When I get a complete physical my doc takes blood pressure, my weight, and draws blood for a complete workup of cholesterol and a whole bunch of other stuff. He also listens to my lungs, palpates my abdomen, and does some simple tests for neurological functions (such as the reflex test where they tap your knee). Also he gives me a once-over skin check for any suspicious moles.
He should also take a full family history. It can be very helpful to put together a family medical history document ahead of time. I never remember who had what conditions and stuff like that; so it helped me to talk to my parents and compile everything into a document for my own records and the doctor's. He'll want to know if you have a family history of heart disease or cancer or diabetes in particular. Most important thing you can do, is ask your doctor to mail you a copy of your full test results. I learned this from my mom. It's helpful to have a record of everything!! I think you're probably too young for a mammogram, but if you have a history of breast cancer in your family, he may recommend you get a baseline early. My baseline was done at 35, because I not only had a history, but around age 28 I had a suspicious lump removed (that turned out to be benign). |
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| Fitness | Jogging...is this supposed to happen?!? | Apr 10 2008 16:35 (UTC) |
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| Best cure for a side stitch is this:
Take a really deep breath - as far in as you can go - hold your breath for a second or two - then exhale for as long as you can. The trick is actually all in the EXHALE not the inhale. You just want to inhale deeply because that'll force you to exhale more deeply too. |
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| Young Calorie Counters | What do you look for in your "Ideal Mate"? | Apr 10 2008 02:55 (UTC) |
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| I just realized (waaayy belatedly) that I had replied to a post in the Young C-C group. And at 42 I probably don't qualify for membership. ;-)
Anyway, just wanted to add that, growing up from our teen years onward, my family had this annual ritual. Every Thanksgiving, we'd go around the room and say what we looked for in our future mate. Each person's list would be written down and stored for the next Thanksgiving, where it would be read again (usually with much laughter), and we'd delete or add items to the list. When we each got married, the list reappeared at our bridal showers and got read again!! I still have my list somewhere around her - I take it out every now and again to have a good laugh! We're now doing the same ritual with my teen girls and their cousins. ;-) |
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| The Lounge | Need a guy's opinion | Apr 09 2008 23:54 (UTC) |
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| Can you dig up a photo online to show me the style you like? | |||
| The Lounge | Ladies-What guy styles do you like? | Apr 09 2008 04:53 (UTC) |
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| I feel like I answered this before... but oh well: Makeup - definetly NOT. But good grooming & hygeine is a must. Brush & floss teeth, and go ahead and white strip them too if you like. Keep your skin clean - okay to have a cleaning & moisturizer regimine. Eyebrows can be bushy but heck if you've got a unibrow and you want to spruce it up, go ahead... just don't go overboard. Cologne- I'd rather none, but that's just me. Hair products - yeah, go ahead. Clothing styles - I've dated all types!!! I definetly have a penchant for the preppy look, as evidenced by the man I married: his uniform is button down shirts with a sweater, khaki's or levis, docksiders or loafers. But I also am a total sucker for a man in a business suit!!! My least favorite fashion style: the overly sporty look, i.e., baseball cap, team sweatshirt, and sneakers.... but that's just because I'm not into team sports myself. A guy in running or biking gear is fine - I'm just not into the "My favorite way to spend a weekend is in my sports pub watching my team play football/baseball/hockey/soccer/etc" look. I did once date a guy with Fabio long hair. I thought his hair (and his eyes and his body) were really HOT. But I have to say, after making out with him, I don't know how men can stand women with long hair... it gets into your mouth and in the way of everything... what a nuisance!!! Which is part of the reason I now keep my hair on the shorter side!!! A guy with shoulder-length hair wouldn't be all that bad... but waist-length hair... yeah, it's more sexy in theory than in, ahem, practice! Bald can be quite sexy on the right guy. And military buzz cuts are just fine in my book! Facial hair: I like clean-shaven the best, but there is definetly something sexy about 5:00 shadow. And I do admit I like short, well-groomed beards and mustaches and goatees. My DH is chest-hair free, and I do like that.. but I also don't mind chest hair either!! |
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| The Lounge | My kids were in a vehicle accident...what would you do? | Apr 08 2008 02:35 (UTC) |
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| manicdieter, any update? I've been checking this thread all day. Hope everything is okay! | |||
| The Lounge | indoor tanning debacle, any advice? | Apr 08 2008 02:27 (UTC) |
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| First, my obligatory snarky comment: if you could see the hole in my father-in-law's face, and the frankenstein scars leftover from his surgery to remove skin cancer, you would never step foot in a tanning bed - EVER!! No, his cancer did not kill him. But young children are frightened of him now. It's not pretty. :-(
Now, my answer to your question: Best treatment for sunburn is to draw yourself a hot bath, dump an entire box of Lipton tea bags into it, let it steep until the bath becomes lukewarm. Remove the tea bags and climb in to soak. I'm not sure why or how this works, but it is a tip I learned in high school after frying myself on the beach. And it works really well to reduce pain, swelling, etc. |
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| The Lounge | Wedding ceremony decor | Apr 08 2008 02:16 (UTC) |
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| You brought back memories of the favorite wedding I ever attended (other than my own, that is!). I didn't even know the bride and groom all that well - i was just someone's date.
This couple got married at their home, on their lawn. They had a tent set up. No chairs to sit on. Everyone was just mingling about, having a cocktail, and next thing you know - the bride appears and walks through the crowd to her groom and the minister. No music, nothing. A hush falls on the crowd. We all crowd in closer. We're all standing around them (about 50 guests), on all sides. It felt very intimate. It was a quick ceremony - they had created their own vows, including a poem that was so sweet there wasn't a dry eye in the house. So to answer the question - they had nothing!! No special altar or decoration. Not even chairs!! I guess the question is, where are the guests going to be? Will the chairs be lined up, like theater-style seating? Or sitting at tables, cabaret style, on all sides? |
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| The Lounge | ATTENTION: anyone who's lived in a dorm | Apr 07 2008 23:43 (UTC) |
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| OMG....
It just occurred to me that the first time I encountered a microwave was *after* I graduated college. I feel soooo old... :-( But this is funny: it was my parents, and my mom wrote a note, "Heat up the leftovers for 30" So I plugged in 30:00... 30 minutes .... Eek! |
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| The Lounge | ATTENTION: anyone who's lived in a dorm | Apr 07 2008 20:58 (UTC) |
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| When I went to school, all we could have was a small hotpot. And actually those were illegal. But we did have one!
If you can take a microwave and a freezer, then I'd also take: 1) crockpot (a mid-sized one would be just about right) 2) rice steamer (if you're splurging go for a programmable fuzzy logic one). you can make any kind of grain. 3) stick blender (for making smoothies) |
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| Young Calorie Counters | What do you look for in your "Ideal Mate"? | Apr 07 2008 20:51 (UTC) |
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| After my divorce, and after a lot of dating around, I actually wrote a list of what I wanted in the next mate. It was a long list. I don't have it anymore, but shortly after I wrote it, I met someone who pretty much fit everything on the list. And we're married now, and we're very happy. ;-)
Physical: not TOO tall, i.e., not over 5'10". Because I'm short. Lip-to-hip ratio is most important, but it's also nice to be able to slow dance. I do like shorties. My DH is just barely 5'10" - most of his height is in his legs so when we are sitting, we're practically the same height. Dark hair (I don't trust blondes... even though I am one!), sexy eyes (can be any color), nice smile. Build: I like lean, fit, the kind of build you get as a runner. With a gorgeous butt. I'm a sucker for that. ;-) Personality: shares same interests in art, literature, theater, science, etc. Intelligent. Believes Evolution is fact, not fiction. Talkative. Social. Great sense of humor. Curious mind. Well-read. Reads before bed (something other than just newspapers and magazines). Able to clean and cook and appreciates a clean, organized house as much as I do so does his fair share without prompting or nagging. Someone who says please and thank you and has excellent manners. Open-minded. Healthy emotional relationship with money (i.e., not a spendaholic but also not a cheapskate). Must like kids. Not a classist. By that I mean he is equally happy and comfortable hanging out with my blue-collar friends OR my upper class relatives. (I came from a middle-class background but my dad made it big later on... this was a huge sticking point for my ex... he was quite a reverse snob about my family). Playful. Believes, as I do, that the primary purpose of marriage is "to have fun." Optimistic!!! Because I am. ;-) |
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| Weight Loss | weird question ... plz don't laugh ... is it possible to weigh less in different cities?? | Apr 07 2008 19:53 (UTC) |
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| Could be your scale or her scale is off. However, I'm going to guess the more likely culprit is that you ate some salty nuts on the plane trip!! Or rehydrated once you got off the plane. Flying is very dehydrating.
I'd wait a few days and it'll probably come right off. It's just 2 lbs! It could also be TTOM weight fluctuation. (see my profile for a chart that'll show you that TTOM fluctuations aren't just at TTOM - they can happen mid-month too). |
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| The Lounge | Why does it seem unfair? No reason for lack of self confidence, I'm told. | Apr 07 2008 15:22 (UTC) |
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| You are very lean and fit. Remember that lean mass has weight too. Don't sacrifice your muscles and bones just to get to some silly number on the scale.
You know what might be helpful for you? Get rid of any fashion mags you are reading. (Shape and other fitness mags are okay - they have realistic images). Stop watching t.v. so you're not constantly flooding your brain with images of perfect, airbrushed women. And give yourself a long break from the scale. Meanwhile, consider some major shopping therapy!! No need to buy anything. Just go to the mall and spend hours trying on clothes - including bikinis!! Ignore the size on the label. When you look at yourself in the mirror, don't focus on your perceived flaws. Force yourself to find 3 things you like about your body. Keep doing this over and over again, and slowly your brain will catch up to the reality of what we see in your photos - a healthy, fit, slim, lean, muscular, beautiful girl - who doesn't need to lose a single pound!! |
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| The Lounge | Today, I was impatient with and dismissive of my 10 year old son. | Apr 07 2008 15:12 (UTC) |
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| Udokier, I have two girls close in age (13 and 15) and I myself was one of three closely spaced siblings, including a sister with whom I was very competitive and had a lot of rivalry growing up. I know exactly what you're talking about here! Just want to make a few comments:
1) Please don't be so harsh on yourself. Yes, you should change your interactions with your son, and I applaud your self-awareness and desire to improve. But, it's my observation that no matter what parents do, kids often take on opposite labels all on their own!! They may not be so much reacting to you (the parent) as they are reacting to each other (siblings) and their own need to differentiate within the family dynamic. I grew up thinking about myself as the "wallflower" the "shy one" the "uncurvy, plain" one and the "straight-A do-gooder who never got into any trouble." Whereas my sister was the "social butterfly" the "loud one" the "curvy, beautiful" one who was "always rebelling and getting into trouble and bringing home bad grades." I thought this was all because my parents were constantly comparing us, and I grew up resenting the labels we were given. So when I raised my own two kids, I was extremely conscious not to assign any labels whatsover to them. And yet, they DID IT ALL ON THEIR OWN!!! I point this out to them all the time, and suggest that labels are so limiting. There is plenty of room for both of them to be athletic, beautiful, outgoing, social butterflies, straight A students, etc, etc... if that's what they want to be. 2) Your Mr Joe Perfect may not want to be always the perfect one. That's a lot of pressure. In addition to talking to your other son, talk to him too. Tell him that he's allowed to be less-than-perfect, and you'll still love him anyway. When he feels he can relax a bit, then your other son may also feel comfortable stepping up a bit more - and you will have two well-balanced children instead of two extremes. |
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| The Lounge | My kids were in a vehicle accident...what would you do? | Apr 05 2008 17:57 (UTC) |
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| never ever ever let him take the kids again
More reasonable approach is to ask for supervised visits only. The courts can mandate this and he would be required to pay for the supervisor. That way, the kids can see him under safe conditions with no risk of harm. A GAL will probably be appointed to investigate. A GAL is a guardian ad litem, they are hired to represent the best interests of the child. When does he come back on Sunday? Can you have a friend or family member on hand for the exchange? I would highly recommend this. The more neutral the third party, the better. You want a witness in case he says anything more to you - or the kids say something. If you don't have someone who can act as a witness, at very least, call someone you know and keep your cell phone on so they can listen during the exchange. Meanwhile, what about calling his family? Parents, siblings? They must know where he is... ? If you are on the outs with them, appeal to his parents as grandparents.. surely they must have concern about their own grandchild. How fresh is the divorce? |
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| The Lounge | My kids were in a vehicle accident...what would you do? | Apr 05 2008 16:25 (UTC) |
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| P.s. if you did have a GAL and still have his phone number, I would suggest calling him/her right now, and explaining the situation. The GAL should know what to do. | |||
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