Posts by thedame

Forum	Topic	Date	Replies

The Lounge	Support for gay and lesbians losing weight!	Jul 24 2007 20:38 (UTC)	59
...OMG Flying Spaghetti Monster. Nice to see another Pastafarian. LOL Welcome to CC, Poet. I wouldn't let any, uh, conflicting opinions sway you from your goals or beliefs. It's a supportive community here, all in all.
The Lounge	"Obese girls much less likely to attend college: U.S. study"	Jul 24 2007 19:56 (UTC)	3
Right. I was merely disagreeing to an above post that said discrimination had nothing to do with it. Obviously, it wouldn't be a direct cause--no college would be able to get away with not accepting people on weight than not accepting people for skin color. But definitely I think it's an underlying cause, and, in the case of some scholarships, could be a more blatant cause. In example, say you have two equally qualified or talented girls with identical grades vying for a music scholarship for something like clarinet (not real looks dependant, like, say, a vocalist MIGHT be). One girl is a size 6, the other a size 18. The few studies I have read, and I wish I could link to them now, indicate the thinner girl is more likely to get the scholarship, even if both have equally successful auditions, papers, etc. Just something to think on, for this topic.
The Lounge	"Obese girls much less likely to attend college: U.S. study"	Jul 24 2007 19:44 (UTC)	6
Based on other studies done indicating discrimination based on weight, I'm simply saying that it would be totally plausible that negative self image due to suffering discrimination (also implied in the abstract or introduction--mention of physical appearance) is one potential cause of the discrepency in enrollment rates.
The Lounge	Role models for Women, have we taken a step back	Jul 24 2007 19:21 (UTC)	9
I think there are plenty of role models out there for women. However, we have to look past the cover of People magazine to find them. I'm a teacher, and I'd like to see parents hone in more on their kids (not just their daughters) interests. There are TONS of positive female role models out there, but like I said, we gotta dig. And, while it's great for girls to have female role models, I don't think we should necessarily limit them to females, or limit them to contemporary individuals (Leonardo DaVinci is one of my role models). If your daughter/sister/whoever is in to art, look up some of the amazing female renaissance painters and sculptors. Same with science or math or medicine.
The Lounge	"Obese girls much less likely to attend college: U.S. study"	Jul 24 2007 19:12 (UTC)	8
I have to disagree that discrimination is not an issue in here. Discrimination effects a persons self esteem and self-confidence--plenty of sociology and psychology studies have proven this time and time again. What's sad is that discrimination on weight, some recent studies are now suggesting is beginning at ages as young as three, I think it was (the article was either on Yahoo or MSN about a month or so ago). I'd be really interested to see how much the enrollment rate is 'off' between obese and non-obese girls. In all fairness, it could be a very small amount, less than a full percentage point (still a need for concern, naturally)--and of course, I'd want to know what the margin of error is. I'm super critical of statistics any more, lol. One particular sociology class specfically on conducting such research ruined it for me.
The Lounge	"Obese girls much less likely to attend college: U.S. study"	Jul 24 2007 16:13 (UTC)	18
The disconnect between obesity and college enrollment was more pronounced among non-whites and among girls whose parents did not graduate from college. Obese boys did not differ from their non-obese peers in college enrollment. The above was quote from another link followed from the original site. Without reading the actual article, which I haven't hunted down just yet, it indicates the yes, there are of cours some socio-economic forces in play; however, there are socio-economic factors in college enrollment involved even when obesity is not. I would like to see researchers also do a comparitive study on sex habits of obese girls and pregnancy rates, too. I knew more than one big girl in high school that tried to build her self esteem in all the wrong ways--I'm sure we all knew one girl like that, heavy or not. I just wonder what, if any, correlation there might be between weight and permissive sexual practices.
Motivation	How to stop boredom cravings?	May 11 2007 17:19 (UTC)	10
Take up a hobby! =) There are plenty of hobbies you can take up that require little in the way of start up funds, that you can do at home. Examples? Knitting/Crocheting, drawing/painting, writing, reading, pilates, yoga, stretching. Also, keep in mind you're 15, and you're still growing! You haven't mentioned how much or what you actually eat, so it could be that while you might think you're not hungry, your body is telling you it needs some nutrients. Additionally, what happens if you DO go eat that cookie? Does the craving stop? If so, I say go eat a cookie. Craving something sweet isn't a crime or some terrible thing, especially if you keep in check, as you say you're pretty able to do.
Motivation	Beautiful Amazon's over 200	May 11 2007 15:28 (UTC)	109
Pictures, amarnatt! I demand pics! That outfit sounds super cute! I feel the need to do some theraputic whining. So, Wednesday night I essentially hung up on the new ex-gent. And I never hang up on anyone. You have to have me REALLY upset to do that, which he knows. And I did it. He had me SO upset, telling me that "I need to get over my depression" and that "things will work out" and all that other crap. Admittedly, I have been a bit melancholy lately--first he chucks me like a dirty sock, I get screwed over on student teaching hours, I am way short on time, frustrated looking for a teaching job, not exercising like I want and thus feeling exceptionally tubby, working my tail off with class, and not sleeping well. I'd been doing pretty well about keeping my depression over him to myself--I'm honestly trying to not complain to anyone any more, because I realize that it's an unattractive trait I've developed. So, anyway, he knows about all those issues, save for the fact that I'm still very much depressed over him. And then to hear that I "just need to get over it?" ARGH. All I wanted was some sympathy, you know? I made the mistake of saying that "I miss you" (which I do) and he says something more or less along the lines of "well, with me being here and you being there, you didn't really have me much to begin with." Yeah, thank you SO much for pointing out the obvious and once again jabbing me in the heart with a fondue fork. Male-boy-man-things officially suck in my book, at this current time. Now I'm trying to convince myself NOT to go on the rebound. Which is tough, because I'm really wanting to feel attractive right now, and my reserves of girl power/I don't need me no man will are terribly low at the moment. In other news, this balance ball thing? HOLY CRAP do you feel that in your abs. Man. And so much better on my back than sit ups or crunches.
The Lounge	Real Beauty	May 11 2007 15:06 (UTC)	15
Confidence, confidence, confidence! There are plenty of people in the world who are absolutely gorgeous...until they open their mouths. Not being a size 2,4,whatever does not automatically discount you (or anyone) from being an attractive person. Unfortunately, until people get to know us, all they have to go on is what we look like. As much as I imagine we'd all love to lie and say we've NEVER judged a single person by some aspect of their appearance, I don't think we can. I know I have--sometimes I have been pleasantly surprised, and other times very disappointed. I think you will find that someone has thought the same thing about you--"Man, I feel so stupid for thinking you wouldn't like/understand/know X,Y, or Z!" Give other people a chance to get to know you, and it WILL pay off. Hold you head high knowing that you have a lot to offer. =)
The Lounge	Would YOU accept me??	May 10 2007 00:48 (UTC)	15
You don't look slutty at all. Though, in my opinion, you don't look entirely professional either. Now, before you think I'm a mean and heartless wench, let me say that I just interviewed for a butt load of teaching positions, and professors must have spent about three hours telling us what we should and should not wear to interview. The main "issue" with your outfit isn't so much the cut of the jacket, but the color. Black or navy looks most professional. When you wear one of those color suits, you can get away with a really bold or bright colored blouse, like that yellow one. A longer jacket looks better too, and you want to make sure that nothing hugs or pulls too much. (Years of retail work--does it show? Hahah) Wear close-toed shoes with a modest heel, too. As for wanting to look professional but not stuffy, remember that you can bring out your personality through jewelry too. A funky necklace or eye catching (but not gigantic) earrings works great. Remember that once you're "in" you can relax--but until that point, you gotta look every bit the part. I hope that helped! I really wasn't trying to be mean, if it comes off that way.
Weight Loss	Help For A Newb!	May 09 2007 22:05 (UTC)	2
Welcome to CC, Dan =) Congradulations on taking this first step, and know that you have joined an amazing, supportive community here. First, your calorie intake is the number you should shoot for every day. Unfortunately, calories aren't cell phone minutes, and they don't roll over. ;) Generally, something you'll read a lot here, is that guys should never consume LESS than 1500 cals a day, as that is just what your body needs to keep on living. The CC Tools can be really useful in figuring out your target numbers and all that. Determining how much you burn will help you to figure how much you should consume. When losing, you want a calorie defecit, in that you burn more calories that day than you take in. Many people here seem to have great success with a 300 cal def.--I personally don't know mine yet, so I can't provide too much more insight on that. Good luck though! Keep up updated. =)
The Lounge	Chiropracters-Good idea or bad idea?	May 09 2007 21:58 (UTC)
Definitely consult a regular doctor first, since they should be able to tell whether or not you'll "need" a chiro. There are a number of medical professionals in my family that are horribly opposed to chiros. I have been told that "anything you can do to yourself is okay" (such as popping your back, which I have a bad habit of doing), but when someone else starts manipulating your body is can be awful, since the spine is so delicate and whatnot. Hard to form an opinion when I've heard lots of very mixed stories and never needed one (thankfully) myself.
Motivation	Help, I love baking!!	May 09 2007 21:53 (UTC)	4
Cupcakes! While that solution only applies to cakes, it's what I have done, and I found it to help. We should swap recipes some time! I have some "old school" ones too. =)
The Lounge	I've Got a Big Butt and I Cannot Lie	May 09 2007 21:48 (UTC)	16
Wait wait, a club for chicks with big asses? Where do I sign up? I am sporting some serious junk too. I get it from my mom's side of the family--she and my aunt both have plentiful derierres. My cousin often calls his mom "big butt" (I think we're all slightly sadomasochistic, since that's an 'affectionate' nickname) but she just fires right back with "Big, but SHAPELY!"
The Lounge	How do you get over someone?	May 09 2007 21:36 (UTC)	19
Aw, hell. This is the third time today the site has eaten a post! Anyway, my situation is a little different then Dharma's, but of a very similar vein. Basically, sparing needless details, my ex-gent simply decided that he didn't love me any more--there was nothing I did or said to cause the change (he has told me that much), he is not involved with any one else (yet). He says his feelings just changed, literally, in the span of less than 12 hours. It wouldn't be so painful if things weren't still carrying on almost the exact same way they were before (it was long distance, so all we had beside a visit now and then was the phone and net). While the "I Love You"s aren't exchanged any more, he still says that he misses me; he still calls me when he's upset, or needs advice, or just to talk. We literally still talk every day. And, admittedly, I'm glad, even though I feel silly for loving him when he claims not to feel the same way. I just have so many questions I don't and probably never will have answers to, and that's eating me up inside. I'm not limiting myself, or necessarily pining, but when I "look" at my other prospects, other gents I know are interested, I just don't feel for them what I did for him, and I don't know how to change that, any more than I know how to make him love me again. ...now I went and made myself all depressed. D'oh.
Motivation	Beautiful Amazon's over 200	May 09 2007 20:48 (UTC)	114
Aw, thanks ladies! <3 And Amarnatt, congratulations on having GREAT numbers! That has got to make you feel good--especially hearing that from a doc, right? Huzzah! As far as the losing weight thing goes--I honestly don't know why it's just now happening, almost "all of a sudden". I've been working at it since January, and it's been a series of ups and downs. But I'm not going to knock it. ;) For once I feel like my goal is actually in reach, and not some mystical thing never to be claimed, like Excalibur or the Holy Grail... ...though, anything that calls for some Indiana Jones hijinx is a good time to me.
Motivation	How do you find time to do it all? Need some encouragement!	May 09 2007 19:49 (UTC)	10
Goodness, story of my life lately! The fact that you went from an 18 to a 14 shows you can do it, which absolutely deserves a pat on the back. You can do it again, because you have done it before. But Madison is definitely right--small goals is the way to go. Maybe try establishing first what is most important to you. What good will it be to be a size 8-10-12-whatever if you're not healthy? Perhaps you should think about talking to your doctor or a nutrionist to see what you can do. I know when I started working on changing myself, which started about 2 years ago, I had to look at what I wanted to achieve. While I would ideally like to be a size 10, I know that being healthy--not developing diabetes (which I was on the verge of), lowering my cholesterol (which was way high at the time), and getting my vitamin/mineral levels up to what they should be--were, and still are more important than fitting in to a smaller size. Working out--I go in the evenings. I tell myself that I'm going to go for at least 20 minutes; usually, I stay for 40+. It becomes almost a game to me ("okay, just another quarter mile/four minutes/whatev."). I go home then and do another 10-15 minutes of stretching, sit-ups, light hand weights, etc. It's a lot to fit in, no doubt, but it's worth it. As suggested, maybe just take three ten minute walks a day. ANYTHING is better than nothing. :) Meals I do not have as much an issue with, since I don't have to cook for anyone. One thing I have found helpful is to prepare all the smaller meals in advance, to I have one less thing to worry about. For dinner, maybe try planning out your meals for the week. The night before or morning of, make sure everything is 'ready' for the evening--meat is thawed, veggies are maybe put aside, any necessary cooking implements, like a crockpot or broiler pan, whatever. If I AM actually going to cook, I even put out whatever bowls/dishes/measuring spoons/cups I might need; that way, when I get home and want to get down to it, almost everything I need is already right there. I hope that helps, even a tiny bit. Don't give up, because you can definitely and without a doubt do this. Each day is its own--there is nothing wrong with setting a goal for the day! Maybe "Today, I am going to drink 6 glasses of water"--the next day, if you meet that goal, bump it up to 7 glasses, and then 8--before you know it, you've accomplished THREE goals, and you're getting all the water you should. And if you don't? That's okay! You have another chance tomorrow. You can do it!
Motivation	Beautiful Amazon's over 200	May 09 2007 14:13 (UTC)	120
Welcome, Bev. =) Update! Apparently, I was the talk of the lunch hour among the ladies at work yesterday! A coworker told me this morning that they are all just astonished at (and I quote!) "how fabulous I look". Apparently, some are even envious! =x I never in a million years thought anyone would or could ever be envious of me for my looks. What a huge compliment! So I'm just on cloud 9 right now.
Motivation	I'm too young to be so fat	May 09 2007 13:56 (UTC)	2
Sadguy-- Dude, like Jackie said, you're only 13! According to your post, you're also 6 feet tall, which indicates you're tall for your age. You need to give your body a chance to grow and develop normally and in a healthy manner. Your insides--bone, muscle, tissues, organs--are all still developing. The last thing you want to do is to cause any damage to them, which dieting at your age, could do. A better course of action would be to consider what you are eating, and consider it honestly. Do you eat lots of foods that are high in sugar or salt? Those are things we want to avoid eating too much of. How much fruit/veggies do you eat? Protein? Dairy? You need those things to make a healthy diet. If you eat lots of salty foods, you retain more water weight, and sometimes that can cause your belly to look distended or bigger than it really is. Also, try doing some light weight training. Boys' bodies are made to put on muscle, so doing the right exercises can really be a help. Depending on how much cardio you do (your jogging and cycling) you may want to consider substituting some of that time doing sit ups, push ups, etc. Really though, you should be just fine. Changing our bodies takes a long time to do it right, and doing it right means doing it healthy. EDIT: Clarifying in regards to diet.
Fitness	Need Help with lower abs...	May 04 2007 16:53 (UTC)	8
As you've already been "told", fat loss from where we want it to come off isn't gonna happen (curses!). I recently purchased a balance ball from Target, for about 12$. Let me tell you, never in my LIFE have my abs been so SORE after only 12 crunches. Though I realize money is tight for you right now, I would suggest looking in to a balance ball. They are not expensive (15$ or less) and you can find some great exercises online to do with them, not limited to just your abs. Hope that helps. =)
Motivation	Are there any fat chicks out there who think they're Hot?	May 03 2007 20:50 (UTC)	39
I am a saucy wench, and delightfully proud of it. While I'm shooting for an hour-glass figure, I'm not going to knock the hour-and-a-half I'm currently at. Years ago, when Playboy had their "100 most beautiful women" anniversary edition or whatever it was, three of the top five were classic pin up models--Betty Page (whom I adore!), Jane Mansfeild, and of course, Marilyn. To hear guys prefer 'skinny chicks'? I call shenanigans! Arrogant as it sounds, I know I have plenty more to offer, and that what makes me me isn't solely determined by the size of my rump (or "the space heater" as my ex likes to call it, lol ), the number on my clothing tags, or anything else.
Health & Support	Am I developing an eating disorder?	May 03 2007 20:16 (UTC)	1
Brava on giving your feelings some serious thought. Something-fishy is an amazing website, an dso many kudos to you for taking a look at it, and really reading it. Don't get too hung up on BMI stuff! Even still you're BARELY 'overweight'. BMI's don't account for muscle, or bone density, or any of those other things that can make us weigh more than we think we perhaps ought to. I feel you on hating to exercise because I hate sweating. Being stinky is NOT high on my list of things to do. However, when I found some activities I really liked, I didn't mind so much. My mind went from "omigod I must REEK" or "EWWWW STICKY SKIN" to "man, that was FUN!" My activities? Archery, fencing, and yoga (thought I'm not very good at any of them, LOL). Try something other than walking/running/typical stuff--Yoga is fantastic, and calming. Maybe a martial art like Tai Chi, which is a lot more 'lax but still greatly beneficial to your health.Maybe even enroll in a dance class! I wish you the very best of luck in this, and I sincerely hope you keep us updated. PS--A reason that people would like you, regardless as to your weight? Clearly, you're pretty sharp to have been able to take a look at your situation and make some choices about it. Smart IS attractive--just as thinking for yourself is, which is what you're doing. And all this from someone that can't even see you, save for black text on a white screen. =)
Weight Loss	how much will i loose?	May 03 2007 19:47 (UTC)	1
Up at the top of the page, click on the "tools" part of the bar across the top. When you do, it will bring you to a different page, along the top of which (below the tool bar) you'll see things such as allowance, BMI calculator, expenditure, and so on. Great tools! Play with them! Edit: Plugging in your info in to the allowance calculator, at "sedentary" level, your goal of December is too aggressive; at "light activity", however, you calories should still remain at 1500.
Health & Support	i'm fat so will i ever be loved???	May 03 2007 19:34 (UTC)	27
Amy, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! When I was your age (I'm 24 now) I went through very similar things. I was the butt of a lot of jokes, and a lot of the "pretty" girls didn't like me or would make fun of me because I'm overweight, too. But, ten years later, I'm successful, happy, and healthy. I have some amazing friends, have dated some wonderful guys, and all without shedding a single pound. Heck, I actually gained weight! (losing now, but totally unrelated =) ) You absolutely will find people that like you for who you are. Absolutely, and without a doubt. Though, people can be cruel, as you know. Some will judge you just by how you look--however, that doesn't mean they're right. You know what, though? We all have great things we can offer. Some of us are great listeners, some of us are creative, some of us are funny, some of us are whizzes with math, or science, or anything else; some of us are musicians, or actors, or chefs! And that's just a teeny, tiny list of all the things we might be. I am certain that you have some great qualities. If a person doesn't want to get to know you because of how you look, that is THEIR loss. Don't make it yours, and don't want to change yourself for any one else.
Weight Loss	how much will i loose?	May 03 2007 19:23 (UTC)	3
Well, I don't know how old you are, but according to their expenditure thing, supposing you're 25, your target calorie intake is 1500. If things work out EXACTLY like clockwork as you're hoping, according to what I calculated, you should have lost about 4.75 kg by the end of June.
The Lounge	I need to talk.	May 03 2007 16:43 (UTC)	7
It is my pleasure. =) I can't imagine that anyone likes to feel that way! I know for me, though, that I need my little period in which to wallow in my own misery, let whatever situation sink in, be bummed out, eat my chocolate and have a good cry--until I kind of get that out of my system, I can't move forward, because I keep getting sucked back in to it. I'm definitely the sort that it's best to let me be cheezed off for 20 minutes or however long, and then I'll be okay (probably apologize if I was a wench) and then move on towards a solution. I'm all about fixin' stuff (Swiss Army Knife = BEST INVENTION EVER). This might sound SUPER silly, but maybe even a part time entry level job might make you feel better, too. Bringing in even a smidge of extra money might make you feel like you're contributing, and every little bit helps. Plus, you'll be accomplishing something else on your list of things to do. I went to a very large university (Go Knights!) where it was very hard to find a job--ANY job--so I really empathize with the frustration there. I got so desperate I did the unthinkable--I was a telemarketer for all of three days. I hated it so much I quit! You'll get something though. =)
Fitness	Elliptical Machines and Feet	May 03 2007 16:22 (UTC)	2
I usually am on the elliptical for 45+ minutes, and I get it too. From articles I've read, it's common, and not really cause for concern, so long as the sensation starts returning when you move your foot. I found that sometimes just moving the position of my foot on the (is pedal the right word?) pedal will alleviate the problem for me. Good shoes are well worth it too! Just keep an eye on it. If you're having the problem and your foot remains tingly or numb for more than maybe five minutes after you cease exercising or move your foot, you should definitely consult a doctor.
The Lounge	I need to talk.	May 03 2007 16:02 (UTC)	9
Rant away! We all need to let go sometimes. And yeah, we all have our own issues, but that doesn't mean we can't share them, right? Sometimes we just need to know that other people hurt to, whether or not it's for the same reasons--reminds us that no one is perfect, and even those with seemingly charmed lives have their own problems to deal with. I am truly sorry to hear about your troubles though; with so much piling up, it can really be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel (and I'm no optimist!). Just know that it's there, though, even if you can't see it yet. Whether you walk, run, skip, or crawl towards it, you're still moving, and you're getting closer. I say go ahead and dive in to the forums here! You'll find plenty of sympathetic ears, and I think you'll find you are definitely not alone. =)
The Lounge	I need to talk.	May 03 2007 15:31 (UTC)	12
Tina, don't give up! Even if your weight went back up, the fact that it went down is testament that YOU CAN DO IT! Getting back on track? You're doing that right now, by acknowledging that you want to do it. Start small, and start real. To make big changes, it's gonna take some time, but it's not impossible. It's well within your reach, m'dear, so don't give up on it. If you'd like, friend me! I'm happy to support you in any way I can. =)
Weight Loss	Really now.... about teenagers undereating. not good.	May 03 2007 15:24 (UTC)	49
True EDs are awful, and the girls (and likely a few guys) do need help to deal with them. However, I had an old roommate that desperately wanted to be anorexic. How sad is that? She would tell people that she was, and really, she did use it as a means to get attention. Of course, most girls posting here I don't think fall in to that category. Those with genuine problems may well be turning to the net because they can remain annonymous and still share their troubles and what not. That can be very theraputic to some people. Honestly, for me to say I'd like these girls to step off the scale is a double edged sword. On one hand, getting off the scale would mean they stop obsessing about numbers. On the other, all they'd have to "go by" is what they look like, and as another member mentioned, they may see themselves as 100 lbs. heavier than they are. They need help that unfortunately, I doubt many of us can provide outside of being supportive and encouraging. Girls, don't be afraid of muscle and curve!

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