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| Weight Loss | Has your weight affected your relationship with your spouse? | Apr 09 2007 19:22 (UTC) |
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| I don't know if it's the weight affecting our sex life or what...I have always been overwight and my bf fell in love with me that way...however I do find him looking at porn that has a bunch of skinny girls in it. Makes me really self conscious. I know men look at that stuff and I shouldn't take it too personally but I think that the weight maybe affecting our sex life. In terms of what we/I can do.
So yeah, I totally know what you're going through...it's hard...i feel for ya. Hang in there though, you can totally do it. |
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| Motivation | binge-free challenge, anyone? | Apr 09 2007 19:16 (UTC) |
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| This weekend was bad for me also. I haven't lost any weight in the past week. Kind of frustrating. I do one bad thing or make one bad food choice and then i think what the hell might as well....eat another...need to start writing things down again. | |||
| The Lounge | another bf rant >:d | Apr 07 2007 07:00 (UTC) |
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| Robochels, when I'm in a situation like yours I try to think...put myself in his shoes...would you wonder what an old partner was up to? Something else with guys, I find if I make a big deal about something like that it will only make them want to hide it from you. And I think that's worse, cause then you're not in the loop anymore. Just monitor it...maybe take a look at the odd message and see what they're talking about. | |||
| The Lounge | Sex! - Need Some Advice | Apr 07 2007 06:55 (UTC) |
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| Thanks for all the great feedback.
I know he's not cheating. I would know if he was. I never get suspicion that he is and I have a good instinct for that at least. I know some probably think I'm naive to think that but I know he's not cheating. We do just about everything together. He doesn't venture too far from home. We are having sex about twice a month. I would prefer more but what can I do....I'm not a prude. I'll try pretty much everything. I dunno. I think it's a waiting game...hoping i won't have to wait too too much longer. Optimistic though |
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| The Lounge | Sex! - Need Some Advice | Apr 01 2007 19:08 (UTC) |
10 |
| sky - totally appreciate your input.
have noticed a theme to the porn he looks at....don't know how to deal with it those things though because what he looks at is out of my control...can't, not that I won't, can't satisfy those wishes... thanks so much for all the feedback girls....keep the advice coming, i could use any help. |
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| The Lounge | Sex! - Need Some Advice | Apr 01 2007 19:04 (UTC) |
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| yeah, he doesn't throw the paxil thing in my face....but uses it as an excuse/reason for the lowered libido.
Oh girl, i've gotten inside his head...i know what he likes, i know all his fetishes...one of the major things for him is spontenaityand to just let it happen. but if we do that, it'll never happen. we don't do it for weeks, so I try to initiate or try and plan ahead....but that hasn't been working either. |
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| The Lounge | Sex! - Need Some Advice | Apr 01 2007 19:01 (UTC) |
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| Colbers, thanks and don't worry about armchair psychologist stuff. I am willing to listen to anything at this point. We've went to psychologists before and found that we never end up seeing it through and it usually doens't turn out all that well. I could ask him if he wants to go to a sex therapist instead of just a regular one. Don't know how willing he'll be though, but i would love to | |||
| The Lounge | Sex! - Need Some Advice | Apr 01 2007 18:58 (UTC) |
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| I've tried a lot of things. I am not shy at all when it comes to doing stuff. I am quite sexually liberal. We've done a lot of different stuff, positions, locations =), pictures etc.... He's quite sexually liberated too but doesn't seem to be in the mood for any of it. And I'm ready to go with all of it
I do and have looked at the websites with him, but he says that I have to sit there and look at them with him. I can't touch him, or say anything because then it ruins it for him. Keeping in mind, he has some sexuality issues because of the abuse earlier in life. I try to initiate and be proactive, but after so many rejections its hard to bring yourself to do it. |
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| The Lounge | another bf rant >:d | Apr 01 2007 18:53 (UTC) |
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| Nocturne, he wants me to play video games with him too. He says that it's something we're doing together at least. Or he plays this online game thing and this card game called Magic. All things that I do not enjoy and I just can't bring myself to play them...
One red flag...when my bf and I started going out, he sometimes lied about little things....like he said he wasn't still a virgin, or that he had his drivers lisence. obviously I found that out pretty quick. However those little lies turned into big lies, like he dropped out of college and didn't tell me, or he lied to be about going to work when he wasn't. Needless to say, we have serious trust issues now. He's never cheated on me, I know that, but because the lies were so deep that I don't trust him with that either. Anyway, just giving you a heads up to watch for. I suffer from depression too, its gotten way better. But he used to say stuff like that too, try to not think about it, or do something else to keep your mind off it. Its like hello, if I could stop thinking about it I would. But....I get so inside my head that I can't even think about anything else. |
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| The Lounge | For any of you Rachel Ray fans | Apr 01 2007 18:46 (UTC) |
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| Rachel Ray....what i've found as the general consensus about her is that you either love her or you hate her. I happen to be the kind of that loves her. She seems like she would be a great friend. Down to earth and chill. Not a big fan of her new talk show, but still love 30 minute meals. Gotten lots of great ideas from there. | |||
| The Lounge | Sex! - Need Some Advice | Apr 01 2007 18:43 (UTC) |
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| Thanks nocture. He doesn't visit the internet websites as often anymore, but still does and it makes me even more insecure. This is one of the reasons I am not this diet. Not the only reason but I must admit it's partly.
I know there is nothing functionally wrong in the lower regions...and visited all those websites to try and find answers. Trying to take herbal remedies, says he's taking it but I don't think he is. He also says that he gets bored with conventional sex, the same thing all the time. I do to but too self-concious to even try to initiate anything. Anyway, the more I bring it up, he says the more it turns him off. He was sexually abused when he was younger too, so he's already got some issues in the sexuality dept. Ahhh, all charged up and nowhere and nothing to do... =) |
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| The Lounge | another bf rant >:d | Apr 01 2007 18:37 (UTC) |
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| OMG girls, i thinking all three of us are dating the same guy.
My bf, love him to death and not going to leave him but seriously doesn't not act like a 28 year old man. He plays on the computer or video games all night...then sleeps during the day...what do you know...he's sleeping right now. To get him motivated to actually do stuff is difficult. He usually doesn't complain when I ask him, I'll give him that. But....why should I have to tell a 28 year old man that the laundry needs to be done, or the dishwasher needs to be unloaded, or to take a shower... I know, gross right. I am not perfect, but i'm responsible with money, my job and my education...something he is not. I sometimes wonder what he'd do without me paying the bills, cooking dinner and making sure everything functions. Holy cow, totally venting here. Thanks for listening. Check out my newest post on the sex advice...care to weigh in on that topic? |
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| Motivation | binge-free challenge, anyone? | Mar 31 2007 18:52 (UTC) |
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| Marla - the scale sucks. I try to weigh myself at the same time everyday. Naked, in the morning after bathroom visit. That lets you see true numbers.
I've had a couple of bad days for binging. Been doing so good throughout the day. Had something bad the other day and then was like screw it, the day's shot anyway...might as well enjoy myself my eating some more. I know, weird logic, but it's my logic. =) |
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| Health & Support | Thyroid problem?? | Mar 31 2007 18:40 (UTC) |
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| I'm trying to convince my bf to go and get his checked. He isn't gaining weight because that's just his build but he's be tired lately, has a bump in the gland area, brittle nails, low sex drive (i know...frustrating)....he is convinced that it is not that, but I still think it's worth it to get it checked. What do you think? | |||
| The Lounge | the 24-35 age club**lol** | Mar 29 2007 22:05 (UTC) |
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| Christina....you've created quite the legacy on here. Just as I was joining, you were leaving...and boy you created an outcry. Looking forward to hearing more from you in the coming days. | |||
| Weight Loss | 230s Club | Mar 29 2007 22:03 (UTC) |
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| malodge, that does seem a little low for 6'0'' frame. I guess depends on your build, but still, that seems quite low. I know my dad's 6 feet and when he dropped below like 185 or 190 his face looks drawn, if you know what I mean. I would say that there's probably a weight range that's good for you. Do the BMI index too to see what they are saying is a maximum weight before you leave the "healthy" zone. Hmmmm. stumped. | |||
| Foods | What did YOU eat today? | Mar 29 2007 07:53 (UTC) |
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| Breakfast: Coffee with 1% milk, 1/2 bagel with light cream cheese and 1/2 grapefruit
Lunch: Homemade veggie soup. Yummy Snack: dried apricots, light jell-o Dinner: Low fat pork strogonoff with no-yolk egg noodles Snackc: dried apricots |
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| Weight Loss | What size do you dream about! | Mar 28 2007 07:12 (UTC) |
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| Catharina,
Totally with you girl. I've alway been a big girl, I surpassed size 14 at age 14. I don't know any different. That's why I say, I would just love to be able to walk into any store and be able to fit into something there. Granted the clothes have improved over the last 10 years, plus size shopping is still VERY limiting. I live in Canada too, so we don't have some of the stores you do. And I can't shop on the internet because I have a hard enough time finding flattering clothes, I have to try them on before I buy. Where do you live? |
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| The Lounge | Vancouver, BC Meet-up | Mar 28 2007 07:00 (UTC) |
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| Sounds like a lot of fun.......but......I'm a student and I have two exams, yes, count them, two exams that day.
I'll be thinking of all of you while I'm stuck in a stuffy, no window lecture hall, in a squeaky chair, scratching down my answers on the tiny, little, itty, bitty writing tablet. fun! All I can say is I'm sure you will have a wonderful time and know I wish I coulda been there |
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| The Lounge | Hey | Mar 28 2007 06:50 (UTC) |
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| love, love loving the girls only posts too. I hate the wire pokey outey thing.
I should just go get measured at a lingerie store. I'm pissed because I just invested in a couple new bras like $50 each, sexy red one that makes the girls look so perky =) and now it's getting to be too big. Not enough support, and I'm wear a DD bra, so can't afford to go without the support. Anyway, as much as we bitch about finding the right bra, there's nothing like putting on a great fitting sexy bra and feeling so damn gorgeous! =) |
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| Health & Support | Doing this with a mental illness... | Mar 27 2007 20:13 (UTC) |
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| Doing great today...better than yesterday...having issues of insecurity in my relationship...trying to get over that.
Spring is here! The winter is so dull and drab here in Vancouver where I live. This March is has rained all but like 3 days. So it's nice to see the sunshine. |
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| Weight Loss | What size do you dream about! | Mar 27 2007 06:45 (UTC) |
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| Wanna know what I'd love, and have always dreamed about?
Being able to walk into any store and be able to buy clothes there. I've always been plus-size, and I just want more freedom. I'm sick of walking into these stores and seeing floral print, unflattering cuts and weird stuff. I'm big-boned, so anything 14 and below would be GREAT! =) |
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| Weight Loss | 230s Club | Mar 27 2007 06:42 (UTC) |
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| Congrats to all you moving on from the 230's club...what a feat!
I just reached 238 this morning. Down 20 lbs...and keeping on truckin'... It feels awesome |
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| Weight Loss | Facial fat | Mar 27 2007 06:38 (UTC) |
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| Notice it in my face and my tummy....those are the first places I lose it. It's always nice to slim the bulging wasteline and double chin. =) | |||
| Foods | What are some Very VERY VERY Low Calorie Snacks??? | Mar 27 2007 06:35 (UTC) |
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| I found these italian cookie things in the grocery store. They taste like waffle cones. Only 25 cals per wafer thingy. Satisfies the sweet tooth. If I'm feeling like chocolate, nutella is awesome. 1 tsp. goes a long way and is only 25 calories. | |||
| The Lounge | the 24-35 age club**lol** | Mar 27 2007 06:30 (UTC) |
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| Hello everyone....looks like I'm a little late joining the crew, but better late than never. Here's my info, you guys look like you have a lotta fun here, always a good thing though.
1) What's your name? MELISSA 2) Age? 24 turning 25 in less than a month 3) Where you from? Vancouver, BC, Canada 4) Single/married/divorced/etc? Common-law of 7 years 5) Kids? (real or of the fur variety) Only the fur variety, a snobby cat named Lady 6) What are you at C-C for? Have fun and meet new people while losing weight. |
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| Health & Support | Doing this with a mental illness... | Mar 27 2007 06:18 (UTC) |
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| wyldemane, it always helps when you have a great partner at home that's super supportive and you know they'll always be there. I have that here too. I know he's put up with a lot of my crap over the years...I've put up with his crap too...but it goes without saying, I wouldn't have been able to do it without him.
Hang in there, I know the whole sex thing is frightening cause as I'm sure you know what it's like to get inside your head. Just relax, get out of your head all the insecurities and just let it happen. Talk to your partner about your fears. Tell your husband to be slow and gentle and sensitive and most of all not too expect an acrobat. =) It will develop from there. I've noticed that if you don't make an effort to keep the sex life going, it can so easily fizzle away before you know it you can't remember the last time you had it. So make the extra effort to at least be affectionate and sexy. I know it's hard to even imagine right now, but I'm sure you're a beautiful woman will lots of sex appeal! hang in there, you're doing great. |
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| The Lounge | Hey | Mar 26 2007 06:22 (UTC) |
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| is there somewhere you can go to find your true bra size. I find the back of mine always rides up, or the straps are too loose, or something. Still yet to find the holy grail, the perfect bra | |||
| Health & Support | BINGES, grrrr | Mar 26 2007 04:41 (UTC) |
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| I think that binges just happen. I'm in the same boat as alex. 6 cookies is nothing, don't sweat it. But i know it still sucks and you want to stay on track. Just don't be hard on yourself when you do slip up. Think about the end goal. | |||
| The Lounge | British Columbia | Mar 26 2007 04:33 (UTC) |
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| Victoria's a nice little city. I lived there for 2 years right out of high school. Got kind of bored living there plus the inlaws live there. needless to say don't visit more often than I need to... =) | |||
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