Posts by cshammas00

Revolution - good job on developing better habits and staying healthy. There is no need to defend yourself here. Many of us know and understand what you're saying to be valid. Jealousy is flattery. When these people start defending themselves to say they arent jealous just smile cause you deserve it.

Yes, it is tough.  I've done it. And there is never going to be a good time. There is never going to be a bad time. It is going to really suck! Prepare yourself. Before you do it, plan out your entire next week - see everyone you need to see and call everyone you need to call. Your grandma misses you - call her. Make plans with all your friends one day after another. Go out to a bookstore and pick up some books.

First of all....you need to decide if you're gonna stay or you're gonna go. If you're gonna go - ask yourself - does it really matter HOW you do it in the end? It really doesnt, it really doesnt matter. If its over, its over.

The only thing with you is that you just need to decide on a couple things. You have to take responsibility for the things you can control. You can't control what other people do, but you have to adjust your life accordingly. I don't think you're brainwashed, I just think you're disconnected. You feel helpless and out of control when you don't have to be. Help yourself. Take control.

When you say 'dealing with this' shouldnt it be about something like...a financial issue, work, children, whatever but NOT in a prospective relationship. He should bring you joy, not tears. So decide first, then act.

OR accept it the way it is and keep holding on to scraps indefinitely.

Well....it looks like it is what it is, and its not what its not. There is not much to work with here. Before all this, he told you he did not want to commit. It doesnt matter the reason, when a man says that he means it.  If he was madly in love with you and thought it could be forever HE WOULD NOT TELL YOU THAT. He would be so afraid of losing you he would never THINK of telling you he couldnt commit.  He misled you by continuing the relationship despite his 'reasons' for not wanting to commit - what his children thought about it.  He is not calling and begging you to be with him. He's not saying he made a big mistake and will do everything he can to reverse it to get you back.  He is clearly still with his ex, at least on one level if not more. He doesn't have enough respect for YOU or your relationship.

Have some respect for yourself and leave him.

If you don't, I am telling you right now - you can take how you feel right now and times that by ten as a chronic mood for many days and weeks and months on end.

Oh man...then this is going to be very rough. I want you to just remember: its much easier to move on when YOU were the one to call it quits. The way you feel now...if he one day tells you its over - your grief in this will be times ten. You'll have lots of regrets and you'll kick yourself over and over and over again. It will take you a very long time to move on. You decide.

Whats the status now? Is there a status, or are you on 'hold' or 'standby'?

Talking about breaking up...there isnt much to break up. He lives with his ex! Do whatever you have to do. Sh*t, tell him you're gay if you need to. JUST MOVE ON. ASAP.

This is NOT going to get any better.

The longer you stay in this, the more regrets you will have. And when you have nobody to blame but yourself - its a really awful feeling.

 I've been there. Maybe you need to be there to know what I'm saying. I hope not.

I really hope you don't consider this guy for anything serious. He won't commit, he asks you to move in without commitment and the DAY you're about to give your notice is when you find out about the ex moving in?

Is there anything here to consider? Are you desperate? Before anybody gets on my case for being mean, I have her best interests in mind here when I say END IT NOW, grow some balls and chalk it up to poor judgement and never put up with this again!

NEXT!

True

TPBM went to a concert this year.