Posts by smwhipple

***Party at Safina's!!!!*** I am soooo staying at your bachelorette pad next time I come to town!  ;-)  **just kidding, don't worry**

She needs to figure out her life and it doesn't seem like you can help her at all.  Professional therapy takes time and energy and money and it doesn't sound like she's ready for it.

This is your third post with basically the same information.

Here's the recap:

1. Your weight is normal and in fact on the lower side of normal for your age and height.  You may not like this but it is a true statement.
2. Your goal weight is underweight, Calorie Count does not support underweight goals. 
3. You are not eating enough.  You are still technically a teenager, so 1500 calories per day would be the minimum for weight loss.  Given your exercise and your height you're creating too large of a deficit.

Further posting of underweight goals and undereating will probably result in your post(s) being locked or deleted.

Sara

Volunteer Moderator

Typically an insurance plan only covers the people that they are paid to insure even if they don't make use of those benefits.  So no, your insurance isn't going to be of use to her.  There may be some counseling groups in your area that provides services, also her religion (if she has one) will most likely have a branch in NYC that she could go talk to someone.

You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves.  She has to be actively trying to help herself before anything you can do will really have a positive effect on her.  Right now, it sounds like she's clinging to the one person she knows.

She may not have ever lived on her own which can be very difficult for some people.  I don't quite get this, but her solution is to attach herself to men.  There is nothing you can do to stop her from doing this no matter how harmful it is to her until she can see what her motivation is.  What you can do is pick up a large number of condoms from your local health center or planned parenthood and ask her to use them.  The behavior is most likely a symptom of the problem.   For a little while she feels loved and valued until she gets dumped again which probably makes everything worse again.

Walking and laughing with her is akin to slapping a band aid on a very deep cut.  It's not going to solve the problem any more than random relationships will even though for a moment it might make her feel a tiny bit better.

Before you can help anyone else, you have to be healthy yourself.  It doesn't do any good for you to try to help her when it's pulling you off balance.  You have to set the boundaries and limits that you need to maintain your own progress.  It won't do either of you any good if you backslide yourself.

It should work exactly as you say.  Given your history of anorexia you might want to see a doctor or nutritionist who specializes in recovery from eating disorders.  Also the loss of your period is highly concerning.  Typically it is a combination of too low calories and too low body fat that keep you from regaining it.  You may have to gain more than the 120 that you were before to get your period back, but 120 sounds like a good weight to aim for initially.

Hello and welcome to CC.

You will pass through the phase of needing just pure calories if you keep up the good work and into the phase where you need to check the nutritional components of what you're eating.  Even then, it will be more making sure that 50-80% of what you're eating has good nutrition rather than avoiding items that don't have the perfect qualities.

I'd tell you to enjoy this phase while you can except that I rather suspect it's quite a bit of work for you to overcome the disordered conditioning.  So just keep up the good work.

If you don't like the way that threads are being moderated, then complain to the managment.  They may choose to do something about it or they may not.

Your advice is generally useful although you are far from infallible yourself, so perhaps you might see why moderators don't do everything the way that you would like us to, of course, since you're not the boss of us, that might be another reason why we don't moderate to your specifications. 

As no one seems to be is being pleased I rather suspect that it's about right.  Generally everyone being somewhat disgruntled is a good sign.

As far as posts go, you can post until your ears turn blue and someone who is seeking justification for their ED will still treat you like a viscious criminal who is attempting to grab their sweet little patootie.  There is little to no satisfaction in dealing with those who do have an active ED, except, every now and then you manage to get a glimmer of information through to one person who doesn't end up completely ruining their body or their life.  If the trade off is worth it to you, then by all means keep doing it, it saves me from having to do quite as much of it so I at least appreciate your efforts even if the person you're attempting to help doesn't.

I think you need to find a new therapist who is local to you or arrange for therapy over the phone with your therapist.  While it does appear that you're getting better you still have problems.  Your body may be demanding calories based on prior restriction or your definition of a binge may not be accurate right now.

Calorie count does not diagnose eating disorders.  If a poster states that they have a diagnosed eating disorder at some point in their profile, or their posts, then that information may be referred to.

Disordered eating covers a wide range of eating habits that are not standard for most people.  It is possible to have disordered eating habits and not have an eating disorder.  It is possible to have an eating disorder without the standard patterns of disorded eating.

Here's a bunch of information about disordered eating from the about.com expert Matthew Tiemeyer.

You're 5'2.5", you weight 92 pounds.  As you got to this weight by losing 35 pounds you are in an area of severe concern.  The first symptom that you're experiencing is the loss of your period.  Other symptoms may including hair falling out, brittle nails, dry skin, thickening of the skin, growing dark hair in odd places.  Some things that are of huge concern that you may not notice for years to come include but are not limited to lack of bone density, possible sterility.

Is your doctor aware that you lost 35 pounds, 22 in the last year?  Is your doctor a gynocologist or specializing in underweight teens?

Just eating more fats does not solve the problem.  Eating fat does not cause you to gain body fat.  You need to gain weight back to a healthy BMI.  The exact number will vary but will most likely be a 20BMI if you have had disordered eating habits.  You need to regain your period.  Going on the pill masks the symptom instead of curing the problem.

"Honestly, if a guy really really likes you, he'll find a way to make it work."

Let him go, enjoy as much of the friendship that you want to but you're not obligated to be his friend if that's not what you want.  Try to avoid the 1/2 in 1/2 out situation.  Either you're friends who call, text and hang out sometimes or you're not.  If you really do want more it might be easier to cut all ties for a while to give you some time and space to think.  First loves and dreams are very hard to let go of even when they're not good for you.

Report them to ebay.  These types of buyers make ebay just as unpleasant as the sellers who ship crap.

It sounds like an honest mistake.  I've been put in similar situations with my nephews where either there isn't a family area that I'm aware of or they are now just old enough to want to try being in the mens room (they're really too old to go into the ladys side) and I've had to go in to assist.  It's awkward, I try to stare at the floor rather than the poor men that I occasionally run into and so far it's all worked out okay although I'm sure some have wished me to perdition.

Hopefully since it's his children he'll come up with a better solution than I have so far, but I hope that the gym owner/manager will make sure to give the children an earful as well if they're part of the problem.

This is most likely a one time situation and not something that you should worry about happening again.   How are you feeling about it now that you know what actually happened?

Here's a website with descriptions of birth control that eliminate periods.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/29666-types -birth-control-used-stop/

Here's a website with information on Secondary amenorrhea

http://www.righthealth.com/topic/Loss_Of_Mens truation/overview/adam20?fdid=Adamv2_001219

Read the information, consult your doctor, and make your own decisions.  You asked for information, you don't like what you got so do your own research.

Explain to both of them that you have a friendship with each of them.  Neither of them gets information from you about the other, but you'll continue your friendship with both.  They can't make you choose sides, if they try do you really want a friend controlling you?