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| Health & Support | I'm disgusted with (my own) fat and obsessed with anorexics. | Nov 12 2007 04:46 (UTC) |
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| aps - well, i dont live in the third world, so why should i care about what happens there? i could just as easily take any of your problems and stack them up next to someone terminally ill, homeless, or stuck in some war zone and tell you your problems don't mean anything. As for comments about how I look, I don't lash out at people, but yes, I am hurt to hear people make unprovoked remarks about my size, even if they think it's some sort of compliment.
udo - i responded to let kumi know that she's not the only one feeling bad. i doubt me telling her to chin up and that she's beautiful just as she is is going to really have any effect on her. As for my remarks regarding my past girlfriends, you don't have anywhere near enough information to judge me on my relationships with them, so don't think you can simplify my life or problems based on a few posts in a chat forum. And to say that I'd hate myself no matter what I looked like is presumptuous and stupid...once again, you don't know half of why I feel the way I do, so acting like I just automatically hate everything is an easy stereotype based on posts you have read. You also missed the point regarding a woman wanting to feel safe...you can be as sarcastic as you want, but I still don't want some traditional girl who feels it's the man's duty to "protect" her against some phantom intruders. That's stupid, anachronistic, and sexist. Oh, and you don't need to gather up all your self-righteousness and "defend" the integrity of the thread. As I said, I was letting kumi know that she's not alone in disliking how she looks, that some of us struggle with the same problems. It sounds like others here are making a big issue about my post. |
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| Health & Support | I'm disgusted with (my own) fat and obsessed with anorexics. | Nov 12 2007 00:17 (UTC) |
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| APS - it's not fair for you to compare my issues to those of people in third world countries...by that estimation, anyone who is depressed in america is invalid, and it's simply not fair to attempt to shame me by comparing me to somebody who has lost their limbs or eyes, etc.
trust - if i found girls i were interested in dating, maybe things would be different, but i rarely do, so being alone isn't quite as bad as it sounds. as far as BDD goes, i'm expected (judging by past relationships) to "be the man" both sexually and in a relationship, and i simply don't want to be that way. i dont want a girl who wants some big man to dominate her, and that typifies every single girl i've been with. i dont believe men have some obligation to be strong and protective and don't want a girl who sees me that way. Just because others think that a tallm, broadshouldered guy is what most men strive to be doesnt mean i have to join in and participate in that stereotype. i dont care if girls tend to like bigger guys, not that many guys wish they were bigger.... i have virtually no respect for "masculinity" and don't want a girl who wants some big masculine man to dominate her. |
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| The Lounge | Look-a-Likes | Nov 11 2007 23:07 (UTC) |
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| When "Patch Adams" was on the university channel, I had at least three people who told me I resembled Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Despite his obvious talent, I didn't care for that since PSH tended to play overweight loser types. | |||
| Health & Support | I'm disgusted with (my own) fat and obsessed with anorexics. | Nov 11 2007 22:44 (UTC) |
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| "Way to bring people down." I'm not obligated to paste on some happy smile about my predicament, nor take your simplistic advice...and I find it contemptuous that you figure I should like being big merely because "other guys" would want to be that way. So I'm supposed to conform to what others want, just to fit in?
I'd rather be miserable and true to myself than put on some silly act to fit in and get some girl I won't want anyway. I'm proud of my opinions, even if they cause me unhappiness...i have resolved to not capitulate to popular demand, and if that means I end up alone, so be it. And if you want to appear as an empathetic, gracious person, it's best to not try to make some silly cheap shot like "I'm sorry I tried to help". It's not going to hurt my feeling, which was obviously your intent. |
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| Health & Support | I'm disgusted with (my own) fat and obsessed with anorexics. | Nov 11 2007 22:35 (UTC) |
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| I don't plan on ever getting there as far as accepting my size. Just because most men have the ideal of being bigger doesn't mean i am obligated to share it, and honestly, it makes things worse to think that most men would want to be bigger.
I think it's weak and pathetic because we are long past caveman days, and I can't respect a woman who needs to feel safe and protected with a guy. That's like me telling a girl I expect her to do my laundry and my cooking....it's stupid, sexist, and anachronistic. The fact that girls want taller or stronger men also depresses me and reinforces my decision not to date. Honestly, I just wish that starvation would get me what I want, because being denied that, I'm gonig to be stuck being this big ugly oaf and will hate myself for it and punish myself for it by not dating. I wouldn't want a girl who wanted some big bald guy....how disgusting. |
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| Health & Support | I'm disgusted with (my own) fat and obsessed with anorexics. | Nov 11 2007 22:13 (UTC) |
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| I can totally relate, as one look at my journal will attest. I hate my body so much that I no longer date and live in constant unhappiness and envy because I no that while I can lose weight, I'm always going to be seen as big. I'm often tempted to go anorexic - the only thing that stops me is that I know that it will be hard to sustain long-term and I figure that even anorexia is not going to change my natural height and stature.
My answer, at the moment, is to not date and continue to hate myself. I still plan on joining a gym and losing weight, but it makes me grit my teeth so hard my fillings spark in rage and green jealousy over the fact that no matter how hard I am willing to work, I'm still going to be 6'3", still be broad shouldered, etc. I don't think I have body dysmorphic disorder like you seem to (judging by your posts and others' responses) because I don't see myself as hugely obese nor freakishly huge...my own impressions of myself are often reinforced by others...yesterday, a guy who I hired to help me move a bed asked if I ever played basketball and then said I looked like a cop, and girls tend to see me as the protector/teddy bear type, which depresses me. When I buy clothes, salesmen often ask if I ever played football or make some other comment about my size that they figure will flatter me, and while I don't lash out at them, I leave feeling horrible in the same way a fat person would if someone made a neutral remark about their size. I personally could care less if some girls like a bigger man or that a lot of guys wish they were bigger (I have a cousin who's 5'5" and has become a bodybuilder out of insecurity...his heroes are the sort of sides of beef I routinely make fun of). It's hard to know what step to take when you've given up on ever liking how you look and dating. I often am tempted to cut myself up as a release, although my past self-mutilation was met with amusement, ridicule, and mockery from others ("Awwwwww...trouble at home?", simpered one person, a married adult with children). I don't do it so much now, partially because I have a new job and often the impetus is to cut my face up, which I did in college and bluntly told people the truth when they made asinine comments about how I must have been attacked by a cat. It's not that I have no self-control...it's just that I don't see how starving is really going to change my height and basic build, much less the other things I hate about me. Hence, I've come to the conclusion that I need to accept that I am simply unattractive and therefore cannot date, since I would rather die alone than date a girl who wants some big man to "protect" her. |
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| The Lounge | worst insult you ever got because of your weight.... | Nov 11 2007 21:06 (UTC) |
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| My dad used similar tactics. He didn't bully me about my weight that often, but used sarcasm and abuse to try to get me to change my ways. He later told me it was to make sure I "respected" him. It backfired, since now I have no respect for him, consider him a loser and a bully and a failure as a father, and would like to have my own kids one day so that I can treat them differently. While I have not completely communicated my feelings about my dad to him, I often regret that I was sympathetic to him when he was down and wish I had given him the same consideration he gave me, i.e. let him know what a waste he was rather than try to help him. | |||
| The Lounge | How do you girls judge guys? | Nov 11 2007 19:48 (UTC) |
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| I believe "the Game" was written by Neil Strauss, an author who helped write a number of interesting books about the music business, including "The Dirt" (about Motley Crue) and "The Long Hard Road Out of Hell" (about Marilyn Manson). It sounds tacky to me as well, fit only for guys whose prime goal is to keep their dick wet...reminds me of Frank T.J. Mackey in the film "Magnolia".
"Manscaping"...Jesus, I hate all these **** neologisms we keep coming up with. "Moobs". "Man purse". "Man jewelry". Personally, I find body hair gross, and would gladly have all mine permanently removed if I could afford it. Maybe I could bill it to my health insurance, which just went active. LOL |
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| The Lounge | sex: how often? | Nov 11 2007 19:22 (UTC) |
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| Within a few months, it will be four years...I remember taking the girl to see "Big Fish" and then we had "sex" a few nights later.
I'm a rarity, I guess....I'm not impotent, but I don't care for sex and have never, ever ejaculated, nor have I ever fantasized about having sex with a girl. |
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| The Lounge | What "clique" did you belong to in HS? | Nov 11 2007 19:18 (UTC) |
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| No clique at all. I was desperate for friends, so I hung out with people who insulted me to my face, made fun of me in front of others for the fun of it, and left me out of most social activities. I never had anyone I identified with...most people didn't listen to my music (though I did listen to a number of current groups), I spent my early h.s. days dressing in a '50s hood style I picked up from Kiefer Sutherland's character in the movie "Stand By Me", and had a strange sense of humor nobody understood (example: I appeared in our h.s. talent show lip syncing to a Barry White song).
Things haven't changed since. I still find nobody I connect with, have no friends, have never had a girlfriend, and randomly self-mutilate and consider myself even less attractive than in high school, thanks to hair loss that began before I even graduated. I was a loser then, and I'm a loser now. |
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| The Lounge | worst insult you ever got because of your weight.... | Nov 11 2007 19:13 (UTC) |
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| I was in bed with a girl and she told me "I love how broad your shoulders are....finally I get to be the small one!" It was obviously intended to be a "compliment", but I felt awful.
Due to similar such remarks (yesterday somebody asked if I ever played basketball), I have never had a girlfriend and no longer date. |
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| The Lounge | Music Confessions | Nov 11 2007 16:38 (UTC) |
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| i once bought a David Hasselhoff album for three bucks as a joke...he was wearing an electric blue sportcoat and no shirt underneath. This was before '80s kitsch became cool...DH was still on "Baywatch". I believe he was a big pop star in Germany.
I still enjoy a few of Poison's songs. Despite their dated fashion sense and dumb, party-hearty attitude, some of their songs are really not bad...though "Unskinny Bop" still sucks. |
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| The Lounge | Look-a-Likes | Nov 11 2007 05:44 (UTC) |
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| For some stupid reason, more than one person has said I look like Eminem.
Bummed because the guy helping me move my bed today asked first if I ever played basketball, then changed his mind and told me I looked like a cop. |
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| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 22:51 (UTC) |
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| No 1000? | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 21:53 (UTC) |
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| This place is probably shrinking now. I still have at least an hour here and maybe more, depending...
At least I think I may have found a bed...it's impossible to get up and go to a gym when you're sleeping on the floor. |
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| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 21:25 (UTC) |
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| Pop culture fascinates me. I'm not even a fan of video games...I have memories of watching the Donkey Kong cartoon more than I do playing the game. When I was younger, I only played Skee-Ball because you could win tickets to get worthless prizes. | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 21:22 (UTC) |
39 |
| Actually, the Japanese designer of Donkey Kong thought the word "donkey" meant "stupid" in English...he was looking for a stylish way to say "stupid ape". | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 21:19 (UTC) |
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| sammi - a similar story. Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man in Japan, but when it was released here, it was changed for obvious reasons.
Michael Ende, who wrote "The Neverending Story", was reportedly so unhappy with the film that he sued. It's kind of overrated...I loved it as a small kid as well, but it doesn't hold up quite as well today. |
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| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 20:26 (UTC) |
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| He played a mean, Shakespeare-loving English teacher and two of his students put a curse on him, thinking it will give him hiccups (one of the teens tried the curse on her mother, with slightly altered ingredients). It kills him and they find another spell that resurrects him, only his head is detached from his body. The last ten minutes are basically the headless body chasing the kids while the head shrieks about how he'll see them both in detention, etc. | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 20:21 (UTC) |
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| I don't think Camp Nowhere was a TV movie, either. I think it might have been a Disney/Touchstone release. I worked at a video store when it came out and I brought it home one night. I saw a lot of 1993-1994 movies when I worked there.
Was just thinking about Christopher Lloyd the other day...anyone remember that episode of Amazing Stories where he played a sadistic English teacher? |
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| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 20:09 (UTC) |
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| I try to stay away from politics and religion, esp. since I'm a total atheist. | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 19:51 (UTC) |
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| I didnt realize we had a 9/11 thread, prob. because I stay away from political discussions. Nobody ever wins... I even refuse to argue with my cousins, both military, both with Bush stickers on their cars, both of whom told me they'd be glad to "carpet bomb those towel heads" in order to quickly solve our problems.
One of them is currently serving at Guantanamo. |
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| The Lounge | Never Thought It Would Get Here Friday Chat! | Nov 09 2007 19:00 (UTC) |
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| Friendship Lasts Forever? Jesus Christ, get me a bucket....
I wonder how the new Spice Girls single/album is doing in England...they were bigger there than here. I admit that I enjoyed the song "2 Become 1" and even saw "Spice World" on video (my cousins rented it, but there were a number of Brit actors I like such as Bob Hoskins, Richard E. Grant, etc.) |
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| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 18:56 (UTC) |
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| kathy - What is "the look"? | |||
| The Lounge | How do you girls judge guys? | Nov 09 2007 18:54 (UTC) |
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| HK - Yeah, I think socks and sandals are pretty grubby...nobody wants to see someone's socks. However, he's my only weed connection, so I have to be somewhat nice to him. | |||
| The Lounge | How do you girls judge guys? | Nov 09 2007 18:46 (UTC) |
42 |
| HK - I hate the socks and sandals look myself...totally misses the point of sandals. I made fun of my brother a few weeks ago for that. | |||
| The Lounge | How do you girls judge guys? | Nov 09 2007 18:41 (UTC) |
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| Maybe there needs to be another thread for what men seek in women. | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 17:29 (UTC) |
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| I guess I'm just going to have to get what I get. In my wishful thinking, I figure I might go down a size or two, so maybe I should wait, but I also know, unhappily, that my general build won't change, so I can probably buy some stuff. | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 17:24 (UTC) |
436 |
| There are no practical ways of wearing a kilt. Can't wear one at work, winter is approaching, and I think it would look a bit pretentious. Not a bad idea, but still... | |||
| The Lounge | The chills that you spill up my Chat keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done | Nov 09 2007 17:22 (UTC) |
442 |
| I guess the kilt idea was a joke...I would never wear a kilt in public. | |||
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