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| Health & Support | Secret eating...thrill factor binging? | Jul 26 2008 00:40 (UTC) |
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| Unfortunately, I have no advice but can most certainly commisterate with you. I too am stuck in klepto-binge-Hell right. Blaaaah! I do the same thing with my brother's food and it's always chocolate cereal or Oreo's... stuff I would never even give a second glance in a store. Hell, I don't even like sweets, let alone chocolate! (Salty goodness all the way!) This is of course basically what you said about you and the french fries. Another problem is that I'm rarely even hungry when I eat them. Just the same, a few weeks ago, I went through an entire package of original Oreo's. If the immediate guilt wasn't bad enough (TMI ALERT!) the black poop I had for days afterwards haunted me like a... really disgusting ghost. Hahaha! One thing that's kind of been helping with this though is actually fessing up to my mom about my issues. She knows I've had troubles in the past (and I've got the medical bills to prove it, hoo doggy!) and is willing to help. The only thing I could really suggest to her though, as blatantly embarassing as it is, was to either literally lock all of my binge foods in the downstairs freezer or keep them in her car. It sucks being stuck in this situation and it sucks even more having to come clean to others about it but, I think that's the only way to break the cycle. Don't know what to say about the restaurant thing though... Perhaps would could keep a small shaker of black pepper or even a little squirt bottle of water in your pocket/apron and douse the plate with it on the way back to the kitchen, to keep yourself from munching? If anybody questions you about wet food just be like, ''I don't know what the hell was wrong with those people! That whole table was full'a animal!'' Keep your chin up and best of luck, dear! |
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| Health & Support | I have a very frustrating, bizarre problem -- advice, please! | Jun 28 2008 20:30 (UTC) |
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| GI-Jane, You're the second person to say that I've inherited poor eating habits from my mother. I happen to believe, though, that EDs have some sort of genetic link -- my paternal aunt was in the same hospital, same unit as I, about twenty years prior to my inpatient stint and my maternal cousin (half- or once removed or some weird **** like that, ha!) was actually in the same unit as I was, the second time in. That being said, Mommy Dearest certainly isn't helping by her actions. Might I add, some people with whom we associate have made reference to my mother, commenting that she looks somewhat akin to how I did prior to entering the hospital. I believe this is called a ''stab and *twist*'' comment. :\ The suggestion of dragging the sibling in on meal time is a good one but, he's autistic. Very violent and set in his behavior patterns. (ie. he'll only eat fast food or those Hungry Man death plates-TV dinners in front of the television, by himself) Sorry for shooting down all of your suggestions! I feel like such a tool, ha! ^_^;; As for the smoker suggestion however, I'm a proud straight-edge kiddo. You make a nice correlation between the two bad habits she has. If I don't need to smoke, I don't need to torture myself nutritionally! Thank you, Jane! You're a damn good motivational ''speaker!'' Phys1c, Thank you for the support. What you have to say makes sense (especially the suggestion of leaving!) but, as it stands, I'm currently unemployed and doing my best to find a new job and ensure that I can cover the tuition for the fall semester. I still pick up the apartment magazines and check Craigslist but, unfortunately, moving out doesn't seem to be in the cards at this point in time... though I do agree that it's probably the best way to deal with a situaiton that shows no signs of changing, at least not for the better. Thanks again! |
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| Health & Support | ... eating more sugar in the evening? | Jun 28 2008 20:18 (UTC) |
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| Time has little influence on whether a food is ''good'' or ''bad;'' it all depends on what it is and what you consume over all as part of your diet, making sure everything is balanced. I can't see a custard pot (I'm assuming it's something like a pudding cup. . . ?) before bed being something you should worry about. Refined sugar should be treated like a special treat and something we should enjoy every once in a while, so. . . enjoy it! :) |
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| Health & Support | ahhhh distubring comments..how to deal? | Apr 02 2008 15:47 (UTC) |
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| I'm going through the same damn thing right now. Honestly, numbers are roughly the same, the clothing deal, all of it. No lie, it sucks... almost as bad as this butthead who made comments like that towards you. One thing you could do about the clothing situation is check the paper or Craigslist and try to find when any local churches or Salvation Army-type places are doing clothing drives. There was one church around here that, for three consecutive Saturdays, had an open door function wherein low-income families/individuals with little money for ''extra'' things could come and get a bag of gently used clothing. I went and stocked-up! ^_^ So long as you don't mind the potential ''charity case'' label, that might be a good way to go. Also, GI-Jane's comment is wicked. Keep that one in your pocket for any more potential run-ins, haha! |
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| Health & Support | Question for 5'4ish girls | Apr 02 2008 15:39 (UTC) |
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| My response is basically the same as feanor's. Started on my eleventh birthday, how horrible! I honestly thought I was dying for a minute, before it all sank in, haha! I tend to ''lose'' it once I get below about 130-125. Also, I'm 5' 4''/ 5' 4'' 3/4, depending on who gets my height. |
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| Health & Support | Anti-binge jar! | Apr 01 2008 06:10 (UTC) |
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| Wow, the original post makes a lot less sense, rereading it now. And this is the reason, boys and girls, is why you should never post on message boards while attempting to finish a midterm paper, due later that very evening. D'oh! "Or put in $0.50 every day you DON'T binge. Or $5 every week... or whatever amount works for you, you know?" ^^ This idea makes much more sense! ^^ Before going to class, and delivering said midterm assignment, I hit up a few of the shops around campus and started a list, which primarily consisted of silly, trivial things: some nice scented candles, hemp necklace, a new canvas bag, a fun margarita glass and glittery craft paints. There was also the strawberry-material bikini swimsuit and the weight bench but I'm trying to disassociate food and physical appearance, at least for a time, so those are on the outs for the moment. Thanks for the input and advisement, everyone. I'll start with $.50 tomorrow and we'll go from there! Also, should anyone else choose to attempt this, please keep us updated with your progress. I hope it works! |
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| Health & Support | Anti-binge jar! | Mar 31 2008 21:13 (UTC) |
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| Ooh, the perfume is a wonderful idea! As are the haircuts and the mini vacation and, and, and... ! (The only downside to the vacay idea is that I'm in Western PA, there's essentially nothing around here especially this time of year, and I work on Saturdays. Pooh!) Not to sound rude, Mac, but I kind of fail what you were getting at with your post... I've despised sweets since I was in the hospital, refeeding. It was all overly processed, of course, hospital food and about 90% of it had far too much sugar in it or was just flat-out too sweet. That's been more than enough to turn my stomach to anything more than, say, chewing gum. Thanks for the suggestion though... I think? eta: "Wouldn't putting money into the jar every time you binge be a reward for binging? It sounds like a more logical idea would be something like put 100$ in a jar and every time you binge take 5-10$ OUT of the reward money...o__O" Yeah but... Gr, curse you and your sense-making! Okay, maybe this notion needs a bit of tweaking but it'll work in the end! (I hope) |
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| Health & Support | how to tell my parents? | Mar 11 2008 06:01 (UTC) |
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| Have you considered writing a letter to your mother? You can hand it to her directly or, say, leave it on her pillow for when she gets home from work/shopping/whatever. You also have the ability to fully process and edit your thoughts before presenting them to her. She can also choose to go through it and ''confront'' you about it immediately or wait a day or so and allow herself to fully take in the importance of your confession. No matter what method you choose to do so, I highly recommend you speak to someone about this. I'm pretty much in the same situation (with the lack of social life and not being able to be left alone due to binge eating issues). Have you considered finding a therapist in your area? Why are you traveling out of the country and is there any way you could put it off until you get the eating issues under control? Best of luck. Keep us updated on how you're doing and take care! |
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| Health & Support | ED recoverers: post your worst ED memory | Mar 05 2008 06:00 (UTC) |
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"hiding my food, then going to the bathroom and flushing it. i remember one time i was so scared to eat some broccoli that was in a salad because my dad put dressing on it, and i tried to flush it down, but it clogged the toilet, and my parents had to col pluming to get it out. . .ya try explaining why you flushed broccoli down the toilet."Been there! Except mine was a grapefruit peel. Once I finally decided to recover, once I got past the wait-til-everybody's-asleep-then-when-no-one' s-looking-you-can-eat phase, I was still scared to eat in front of people and would grab things to eat in the bathroom with the door closed and fan on so nobody could see or hear what I was doing. I attempted to flush the peel and the toilet got clogged. It took us four or five days to fix it and my mum still makes fun of me for it. But, ya know what, I deserve it! It was crazy and stupid and now all I can do is think back on that and laugh! |
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| Health & Support | My No-Binge Pledge | Mar 02 2008 05:55 (UTC) |
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| 70 days?! You're my hero! I did well all day today (actually had two small meals, with other people around which I haven't been able to do in weeks!, and several snacks spread throughout the day) and then lost it not more than half an hour ago. The whole situation could have been a heck of a lot worse (about three or four servings of Kix cereal and roughly four servings of Vanilla Soy Delicious) but it's still very, very frustrating none the less. Sigh. I've just gotta keep in mind though, tomorrow is another day. :) |
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| Health & Support | I-used-to-be-anorexic-but-now-I'm-a BINGER Support Group! | Feb 29 2008 23:40 (UTC) |
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| ManiacJTHM, I suggest step one for you would be to try getting a schedule set in place. Do you have anyone to eat with you? I know I'm far less likely to binge if other people around. In fact, it's usually the exact opposite, I won't eat if others are around, "watching." This excludes my mum though and I try to set up meals with her as often as possible. I know from experience that, especially when you're just starting off into recovery, having a good support system and people you can rely on are crutial. Also easier said than done but, don't beat yourself over all this **** that's going on. You've starved your mind so much (I'm 5' 4'' and my lowest weight on record was only slightly lower than yours) that you're probably not going to react to food ''regularly'' for a while. I've met many women, girls, and young men that have had the same experience as you and I and nearly all of them mentioned that they went through a period when they were never ''full'' and ''always hungry.'' I think this is just a natural thing, you're body gets so excited after having been deprived of so many different tastes and textures it just kind of goes into overdrive. Granted, I'm no MD or dietitian but, I am speaking from personal experience. Another thing, definitely find a decent therapist or counselor to speak with. I'm in the process of finding a new one now and think that it will probably be easier to get a grip on things once some other matters have been sorted out. Best of luck, darling. Keep your chin held high and don't give up, ever! |
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| Health & Support | I-used-to-be-anorexic-but-now-I'm-a BINGER Support Group! | Feb 27 2008 15:40 (UTC) |
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| I'd like to join in too. Well, I wouldn't "like to" but, I'm unfortunately in the same sinking boat as all of you here. For about as long as I can remember, I was a (emotional?) binge eater that is, up until Halloween in 2005, when I finally decided it was time to change things. First it was just eating a little less, fewer sweets and all of the junk I'd usually throw down without thinking -- I finally learned to love vegetables and am now a (usually) happy vegan! Then came the exercise. A few months later, I learned what a calorie is and thus began the downward spiral. The day before Thanksgiving (Oh, the irony!) 2006, I was sent inpatient for anorexia and was in the hospital until two days after New Years. By the end of January, having not heeded the warnings of my social worker/therapist from the Partial hospitalization program, I was sent back inpatient after losing several lbs over the course of a little less than a month. About three more weeks and back to Partial I went. They tried to send me in again a third time and that's when I left AMA and decided, since their program wasn't working, to try something else. This would be when the binging began anew. After a while, I started at a gym and got down to a dangerous weight around Christmas time, which would be when a few family members began to ask, ''you don't want to go back into the hospital... do you?'' which triggered another binging episode. This was over two months ago and I'm still stuck in this cycle. Needless to say, it's getting old. I like the support idea here. Perhaps we could share meal plans or something, as SubwayBusker suggested? I like the idea of being accountable with people who understand what's going on. My mother does her best but she, luckily for her, hasn't been in a situation like this and just doesn't quite ''get it.'' Thank god. Anyways, enough of my long-windedness. It's wonderful that this thread was started and I wish all of us the best in our recovery! :) |
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| Motivation | Eating when your not hungry | Feb 25 2008 02:33 (UTC) |
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| Ooh, there are quite a few people on here, I believe, that have this same issue. Not everything works for everyone and not every idea works all the time. I suggest trying to occupy yourself the best you can while at work, mentally and physically. I'm sure your employers wouldn't care for you or anyone else there to be bussing tables, or what have you, with a cookie dangling from your lips. ;) Some other suggestions might be to ensure you eat a filling meal before work, possibly have a healthy snack during a break if you have one, and have something that you enjoy prepared and waiting for you when you get home form work. Chewing sugarfree gum; there's a plethora of flavors and brands out there. I'm chewing Watermelon Extra right now -- it's delish! Other than that I don't know what else to say really, aside from good luck and don't get too discouraged! |
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| Health & Support | Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggg.. | Feb 25 2008 02:29 (UTC) |
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"Ok whoops - way to be repetative on my part! Bahamamama & I think alike!"Great minds, Giasbash, great minds... ^_-- |
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| Health & Support | Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggg.. | Feb 23 2008 21:13 (UTC) |
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| I've considered making cereal illegal in our house as it's a pretty big b/p and/or b/r trigger for me. It's just so good though, sometimes I can't help it! An idea I've been trying is whenever I buy a box, go home and open it immediately then break out the measuring cups and plastic baggies. Pre-portion them and save them for later. It's probably best when you only leave out one or two baggies at a time and then hide the rest elsewhere. I've taken to hiding them in the car, as odd as it sounds but, it's been working fairly well so far. Best of luck to you, dear. Don't get too discouraged! |
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| Health & Support | I'm leaving CC... | Feb 18 2008 18:47 (UTC) |
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| Good for you, Kat! Not that I'm glad you're leaving but, I'm so proud that you've been able to catch this and are attempting to nip in the bud something that could become a horrible, life-threatening event. "I may have lost weight, but I have also lost the fun that's in my life from enjoying food. NO ONE can enjoy food if they are counting every time they take a mouthful." I can't agree more with this statement. There once was a time when I enjoyed food, going out to dine with people and not fretting over how many calories I took in or didn't put out by sitting in a restaurant or even at the dinner table. This is still something I struggle with on a daily basis. I have lost basically everyone in my life due to calorie counting and the eating disorder that resulted from it. This isn't saying that all calorie countering have an ED but there are some of us who do lose control and our grasp of reality and what life should be like. Long story short, kudos to you darling! I wish you nothing but the best! |
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| Health & Support | taking control is so hard... | Feb 18 2008 07:02 (UTC) |
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| I'm glad you had a good day, after all the crap you've been through, I'm sure you deserve it. I hope tomorrow's even better. :) |
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| Health & Support | How do I tell my parents about my ED? | Feb 18 2008 02:58 (UTC) |
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| My suggestion would be to take your post, print it out and give it to your parents. That's what I did with my mum when I turned to her for help and it worked. Give it a shot. Best of luck and take care! |
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| Health & Support | URGANT: how should I approach my mom? | Feb 18 2008 01:23 (UTC) |
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nope, haven't done anything. I lost my chance last night. The letter is ok, but I completely lost my motivation and courage to act. Thanks anyway.NO! Please don't let this get to you. If you think you need help, you do need help. This is one of the most frustrating things; my mother never said 'I don't want to hear about it,' her response to my questions of 'do you think I have a problem?' (mind you, this was when I damn well knew there was a problem but didn't know how to go about getting help) was 'No but, if you keep thinking that way, you will.' It's awful and just makes you feel worse about the whole situation. I just can't stand the thought of you not getting the attention that you need, that you deserve because of this. Try again, please? |
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| Young Calorie Counters | How old were you when you had your first kiss? | Feb 18 2008 00:06 (UTC) |
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| I'm eighteen and had my first kiss this past summer. Meh, the kid wound up being kind of a tool and seemed to be after ''one thing,'' if ya know what I mean. Bah! | |||
| Foods | How bad is a bagel????? | Feb 17 2008 22:58 (UTC) |
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| They're only as ''bad'' as you make them. :) | |||
| Health & Support | Not sure what to do... | Feb 17 2008 22:05 (UTC) |
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| Considering the fact that your nutritionist (is she a ''nutritionist'' or dietitian?) stated, you're at a healthy range I don't see any particular reason why you should need to go any higher. A woman I was in treatment with said that the first program she was sent to (Renfrew, I believe) made her go well above her target by means of Ensure and Boost shakes. According to her, she didn't know how to maintain once she was sent home and wound up crashing, found herself in the group I was in. (for the second time) Moral of the story is, just try to stay where you're comfortable for a while. Maintain for a while and do not lose anymore. Keep in mind, I'm hardly a dietitian nor nutrition expert. (unless you consider taking one semester's worth of Nutrition 101 classes and spending half a year in ED treatment ''expert,'' which I hardly recommend. ;P) Seriously though, just try maintianing a bit and keep up regular doctor's visits to make sure you're doing okay. Also, do you have a therapist or someone to talk to? |
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| Health & Support | URGANT: how should I approach my mom? | Feb 17 2008 01:16 (UTC) |
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| "It's getting old." "Yeah, I know! That's why I want help!" My mum pulled this crap with me for a while to... until I was hospitalized. Don't let her make you give up hope. It's a great thing that you want assistance with this, don't let her deter you from getting it! Also, how old are you, and do you have insurance? Would you consider going out on your own to find a therapist/counselor? This is what I'm in the process of doing... |
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| Health & Support | I don't think I know what hungry is anymore... | Feb 16 2008 19:28 (UTC) |
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| I doubt this is something you haven't heard a million times over already but, it's been suggested (if not proven) that it takes somewhere between 20-30 minutes after you've begun eating for your body to realize it's full. This can get to be very frustrating, I know, especially when one has troubles with binge eating. The past month and a half or so I've had some troubles with binging after dropping to a troublesome weight (I've had issues with binge eating and anorexia, as stated in many of my other posts) and freaking out about possibly being sent back into the hospital. This sent me into a downward spiral and has landed me back in a troublesome spot -- I've eaten about four full boxes of cereal in four days on top of a few other things. Ouch, not only mentally but physically! Here are some tips I've found in last semester's nutrition text book:
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| Health & Support | ed and going out with friends | Feb 14 2008 21:16 (UTC) |
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| Been there. :( My best advice is to talk to them, or just pull one of them aside, and tell them what's going on and how you're feeling. It's not easy, the first time this happened was when I broke down and admitted to my best friend of eleven years that I had anorexia, but hopefully it'll work. If all else fails, go out with them and if you get too wigged out just order a tea, some coffee or a diet soda. Going this route though, make sure you eat before going or when you get home, I'm not advocating restriction here! You and I both know that solves nothing and generally just winds up causing more problems. I hope all goes well and you all can just relax and enjoy each others company! Best of luck! |
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| Health & Support | lunch.... | Feb 13 2008 14:59 (UTC) |
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| You need to speak with him about for if nothing else but your own sanity and health. It sounds to me, though, that your boyfriend may have developed some issues of his own. Though eating disorders are definitely more prevalent among the female population, that doesn't mean that males don't or can't suffer from them as well. I thought that for a while... until my male cousin, ex football player, showed up inpatient on the same unit at the same time I was in treatment. |
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| Health & Support | One little treat leads to... | Feb 11 2008 19:21 (UTC) |
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| I'm with Linny on this one; even if you think purging might be the answer, KM, please don't bring it up as a potential way of ''righting a 'wrong' '' here. I've had issues with b/p in the past, almost did it this morning after breakfast actually, but now that I've come a bit more back to my senses and realized that purging does nothing but screw with your esophagus, it's been easier to keep away from that awful habit. Getting back to your post, Linny, I know exactly what you mean! I had some Honey Comb cereal for breakfast this morning and it's, just like you said, been downhill from there. I think it's just the sugar, the most simple carbohydrate going, itself that gets us going and craving more, more, more! Plus, personally, I generally don't eat the stuff on its own so getting a little bit winds up into a binge. The best idea, as was already brought up in this thread, is probably waiting until later in the day to ''indulge'' in the pre-portioned treat of your, mine, our choice. :) |
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| Health & Support | Need help with calories for the rest of the day! | Feb 10 2008 23:07 (UTC) |
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| Not that this helps you really in any way but, I'm in the exact same boat as you. Today, yesterday, the past week... it's been awful! I have decided tomorrow, however, that I'm going to stop playing around and space out my calories, eat more nutrient-dense foods and try to keep from hovering around the kitchen (like I inevitably do) It's hard but I can do it -- we can do it! Hang in there, sweetie! :) |
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| Health & Support | ED recoverers: post your worst ED memory | Feb 10 2008 18:43 (UTC) |
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"Let me start out by saying that I think this is an AWESOME idea! It'll remind us all of the pains and ails we had to struggle with, and make us even more grateful that we've decided to move on!"+1!! Mhm, been there... Still kind of there now, actually... :( Personally, I can't think of any ''worst'' memories, none were worse than any others -- they're all nightmares to me! Two of the tops, however, would be 1) when throwing my best friend of twelve years a surprise birthday party! and 2) the two days leading up to my (first) inpatient stay. 1) It was around Halloween, her b-day is October 27th so I devised a birthday celebration under the guise of a costume party, and one of her friends from her school, someone I really didn't know other than through stories and from speaking to her over the phone briefly, brought this huge bag of candy! Um... #*^&!!! The entire night I tried to figure out ways of getting it out of the house and spent about the last half hour of the party stuffing it into treat bags for all of the guests -- I had to get it out of the house! The rest of the party was spent hovering by the space heater in the basement. Skin + bones + not much else = no insulation and feeling like a naked eskimo in the Arctic. Not fun!!! 2) It was a Thursday night and I was called in to my PCP's office, he had been telling me that if I didn't ''straighten up and start eating'' ('cause apparently it's just. that. easy. >_<) that I would have to go in for a stint at the psychiatric hospital to refeed. Whatever, I thought, not gonna happen, I'm not that bad. This is such a waste of time! Yeah, um, no... He told me upon arriving to the office that he had personally set up an eval at the hospital and that I was to be there at 10 AM, Saturday morning. Oh... shoot. The next two days were spent crying, hugging my mother, crouching in front of the heater in my bedroom (like that was different from any other day!) and going grocery shopping 'cause I was gonna start eating! It couldn't be that hard... could it... ? My bad, apparently, it was. That Saturday we arrived in the city and were sentenced to sitting in their eval/intake area for about eight hours. During that time I suddenly felt this rush of energy and binged. One girl who was there (not eating disordered, I found) for an eval told me the nurses were passing out peanut butter, graham crackers and juice. They also had cereal. There were two vending machines filled with junk food also for anyone who felt peckish. This would be when I began binging, determined to get me weight up enough to keep myself free. It didn't work. I did gain a fair amount though, which is no surprise -- one, all of that food just sitting in a belly that probably didn't remember how to process it, and two, my metabolism was so jacked up it was probably dormant and totally ignorant that I'd begun to consume nourishment again! It wasn't until four months later that I was released and had to struggle on my own, teetering between keeping my freedom and being shipped back in for a third visit to the Center for Overcoming Problem Eating. What a nightmare! Gah! How horrible. It's funny how easy it is to block these things out. Seriously though, this is a wonderful thread. Great idea, RatinHat! |
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| Health & Support | Breaking the binge cycle! | Feb 10 2008 18:15 (UTC) |
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| Journeying2Healthy, first of all, I love your username!!! :D Any information (I'm rather interested in the glycemic index though 99% of the information I've found you've had to purchase in order to obtain and the other 1% was too convoluted to decipher!) you'd be willing to share with me would be greatly appreciated! Your post, along with yours RosyDreemz!, is a relief and is helping me keep in mind that you have to look at things in the long term. It's so easy to get stuck in that tunnel vision-like state of mind. Tomorrow is another day, right? For all of us! ^_^ |
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