Posts by tdionne

Thankyou all so much for the sound advice. I want to apologize for the way I phrased the subject of this post, but I wanted it to be attention grabbing.

Also excuse my speaking in third person. This has been a private matter that I could not talk to family or friends about. And yes, there are two children involved. I was very afraid of the test coming out positive because of the damage the problems did to our relationship. For 8 years, I had no idea what was going on and it made me feel as though something like this could happen again without me knowing. The deceit destroyed my trust in him as if I had been cheated on. After reading your responses, I was prepared to stay and be as supportive as I was the first time (while also being smart about my own well being). He's a really great guy, great father, great provider- we have a good relationship. But we have a lot of work to do in the area of trust.

When I got home today, I asked him if he was still willing to take the test. He seemed very nervous and it took an hour to get a sample from him, but it did come out negative for cocaine. He tested positive for marijuana. He admitted smoking weed, but swears he'll never touch coke again. I'm happy about one thing, but not sure what to think about the rest. I'm emotionally exhausted from all the worrying I did the past two days.

Hopefully, after our talk he'll leave the weed alone and get back on track with everything. As far as the finances, I've decided to go back to keeping our income separated, except for the bill money and some other joint expenses. Then, if he wastes his money on crap, I won't be affected.

I'm in the same boat. I lost 20 lbs this past spring but late summer coming into fall, I became comfortable again and haven't been as diligent as before. I've been telling myself to get back on track, but hadn't until this morning. You just have to jump back into it head first (literally). Just remember your thoughts and actions from when you lost the 30 and immediately put yourself back in that mindframe. You have to keep in mind that if you don't get back on track, you will slowly (maybe even quickly) but definitely put the weight back on. And then all your previous work will have been in vain. I am not going back to the 190s. It's just not an option, so I've got to kick myself back in gear. I was so happy to have reached the 20lb milestone, that I got comfortable and started to lose focus of my main goal to lose 30-35 lbs. So you just have to refocus and dive back in before you set yourself back even further.

You just haven't met the right guy. It takes some longer than others, but there's someone out there for everybody. One day you'll meet a guy who knows how cool and smart and interesting. And he'll be intelligent enough to know where your true beauty comes from.

Don't give up on yourself. Give up on letting other people's perception of you beat you down. You have to train yourself to really feel that certain opinions don't matter. It sounds hard to do, but it can be done even if you have to repeat a personal mantra over and over in your head. Over the years I've trained myself to not even consider the negative things certain people (especially strangers) might say or think about me. Even if you ever reach your ideal picture of yourself, there will still be someone who thinks badly of you. Don't them make or break you.

Keep working on yourself, inside and out. Become a little self absorbed without being selfish. Zone in on your goals and ambitions with tunnel vision like nothing else matters. The self esteem and confidence you build by totally focusing on making yourself a better person all around will radiate outward. Then when people see how much you love and care for yourself, they will feel positive feelings toward you as well.

Give yourself a hug by doing something today that makes you feel good.

Great advice Everyone! I have a friend who just came off of diet pills. Every conversation we would have started off with "What did u eat today?" and we'd talk about how we'll feel when we lose the weight and what we'll do and how we'll act. I want her to read my post and this thread so she'll understand why my conversation has changed. Sharing your feelings and goals with a friend can be good. But we had gotten into this weight/diet obsessed cycle that became really exhausting. It was not healthy conversation. So I'm done. Now I try to steer our conversations in a postive direction or sometimes I have to avoid it altogether to keep my sanity. I'd rather lose weight naturally and quietly at a reasonable pace without overtalking it or overthinking it.

I eat what I want (and that does include whole grains, good fats and protein, and I happen to like fruits and veggies). I keep my calorie intake around 1600 and I do at least 30 min. of activity each day. Right now I'm in the third week of the couch25K program and I plan to start doing strenth training on my non-run days.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your responses. I pretty much knew I could lose weight by just eating less of the things I normally eat and creating a sufficient deficit. But it helps me to read real success stories of people who have reached your goals with pure perseverance, physical activity, and portion control.  I hope I don't sound too sentimental, but after reading so many diet books and articles, I've grown to DESPISE most "diets" and rebell against the whole idea of feeling deprived. It means a lot to me just to feel re-assured that I can definitely do this without self deprivation.

For the past week I've been back on track with exercise and counting calories, so hopefully this time's the charm. I'm motivated all over again to continue making reasonable adjustments that'll last forever and keep me happy about my weight loss experience, instead of drastic changes that set me up for failure.

I have the book and read some of it, but haven't tried sticking strictly to that plan. They weren't supposed to charge me the full price until I'd tried it for a number of days. I was planning to read over it and send it back during the trial offer, but since they charged me the full amount and I'd ruined the box it came in- i decided to keep it.

It was a waste of money- telling me some things I already knew about bloating and then some stuff I chose to ignore (like the gum chewing)...

Which grocery chains sell this brand?

Hi everyone, My weekend was good and today's going well- looking forward to my first weigh in on Wednesday. I have a question about exercise:

I've laid off the gym during my first week of phase 1, but I miss it. I'd like to do about 20-30 min of intervals on the elliptical and about 15 min of light sculpting. I've been consuming about 1170-1200 cals on the south beach diet. I'm not even hungry enough anymore to eat more than what I've been eating, but do I have to try and eat more anyway just to offset the amount of calories I'm going to burn at the gym?

Hi ya'll,

 Ok, so I know brisket is definitely on the "Foods to Avoid" list, but that's exactly what my husband decided to cook. He knows I'm dieting, but we bought it pre-diet and he wants it tonight. It's in the oven as we speak. This is only my second day on SBD and I've done extremely well so far, but would I be cheating to just eat a 2 or 3oz piece of the brisket with the veggies on the side? Or should I just skip eating with the family tonight and make myself a salad with chopped turkey breast? I think I know the right answer, just want to hear it from you.

youheartme was right earlier. I really was just venting. The main point of my post was to voice guilt over wasting calories on a huge candy bar and all I wanted was affirmation that I wasn't as guilty as I felt. And as far as my assertion that candy bars should be banned- that was just my personal humor coming through. My post was nothing to cause a civil war over, just me doing what people do on message boards: voice my feelings.

I put myself out there and I think Archer has the freedom of speech to respond in the way he wants. I can take it. I just read through the responses to my posts and take any motivation/positivity (if there is any) that I can out of each one.

Thanks to you who genuinely understood my post and didn't judge me for feeling so bad about the candy bar. I feel fine now. It's all good.