Posts by fidget84

what food did you eat? what was your 1650 meal plan

i dont see a problem with this thread either. spekgirl i think you'll find that many of the anorexia blah blah blah worries are repeated but i think this is an excellent post. she has stated she is ok with where she is. she has bitten the bullet and gained weight, she has confronted her fears about gaining weight and i think she has a wonderful attitude so i think your comments are unwaranted.

if you dont wanna read the post - dont read it.

OP. i was in a similar situation to you. i wont go numbers specific. i feel they're not helpful. but went from very underweight, to hosp where a lot happened. i was placed on much meds and subsequently gained more than i was happy with. but to me this was almost like desensitization therapy. if you do the one thing you are terrified of then you learn a lot from it. i gained weight, weight which horrified me during the thicks of anorexia. i sat with it for a while, yes certainly hated myself until i started working on the other aspects of my life which really make me a valuable person.

my weight went down. the binging i had developed in hosp slowed and is now well managed. sometimes i still struggle with restriction, but this is more depression/anxiety related than anorexia. i am about 12kg lighter than my highest weight. everyone tells me that i look wonderful. fit athletic alive. sometimes i still am disgusted by myself, but it doesnt have the hold it used to on me.

the key thing with this (i believe) is embrace the fact that you are willing not to go back to 125. this was an unhealthy and unsustainable weight. when you do this, psychologically you are not putting the same pressure on your head or body to resume starving. happily your body will settle at a weight it is happy with. for me now my BMI is considered 'perfect'. my bloods are normal. at the sight of missing a meal i dont collapse due to hypoglycaemia. i can run. ..like i can really run - speeds and distances i could not when i was underweight. 7-8 min miles (and improving!!!). i can have CHristmas dinner and dessert and a few chocolates after... and get over it. i can even knowingly overeat on these occasions and deal with it. i get my period (naturally! no birth control here!!) i have time to be compasssionate with patients and friends. i have energy for laughter. and for the bad days, i have something in reserve and i dont feel like a gust of wind is going to send me to the grave.

i think you are doing reallly well and wish you all the luck in the world. msg me if you wanna know more specifics

EDIT TO ADD!!!!! MERYLLLLL CONGRATULATIONS..... CON-FREAKIN-GRATULATIONS!!!

you know my feelings on this. as long as you keep on the road you are on - you are lying to yourself about recovery.

stopping any addiction is hard. it is painful, it is messy. it is not pleasant. will you gain weight? you might. will you binge? you might. will you feel awful things about your body and about your fitness habits? you might.

but compare this to an alcoholic, which effectively you are. is it messy and painful and unpleasant? yes. is the reality of being sober terrifying and stomach churning? yes. is what you see in the mirror as a sober broken mess far more awful than how you ever saw yourself as drunk...quite possibly.

but the alcoholic gives up his addiction because the pleasantness of being drunk does not compare to all the heartache and loss and anger and sadness that this addiction causes.

the only way out of this is through. through does not mean perfect clean eating with a perfect body with a positive perfect mindset about food. through means breaking free from the compulsions of running. not doing this 'il run 5 now and 2 more later' bull. it means stopping on the days you are tired. forgiving yourself.

i dont know what answer you want. its hard and slow and painful. but not being chained down is one of the most Heavenly emotions i have experienced.

http://caloriecount.about.com/meals-ft153595

i think you asked this before... i think you're overthinking things!

this will get better. im going to second vanilla swirls post

use that link. its what i put it up for.

hey... i thank you all for your encouragement!! NYCgirl, i tried t change it but it said i cant edit it coz a moderator has already edited it....

maybe ye can add it?

i agree... i would terrify oodles of peoples... but thank you :-)

thats a very old s.s.r.i

its called faverin over here. i actually took it myself and found the side effects awful so i can sympathise on that front. there are many newer and effective antidepressants but rather than clinical depression it sounds as though your depression is related to being underweight and the associated distress caused by your current food situation.

do you have a therapist you can talk to?

right well then 46.6kg is ridiculously low. you need to be on a weight gain diet and need to gain at least 10-11kg.

whether you do this is up to you. but if you want to continue living the way you are and enduring the misery that you are - then by refusing to gain weight you are going the right way about it.

you need to increase your cals first to 2000 and then to 2500. why did you stop taking the antidepressant and what antidepressant were you on

shin splints are a hoor! they're a total ****. im doing a fair bit a running at the mo. im lucky coz im working in a morgue at the mo located away from the hospital a bit - but its located beside a river.

any run i do over 5 miles, especially if i run on pavement - i stand in the river knee deep for about 10-15 mins immediately after the run. the water is upstream of city, so im hopeful of not developing leptospirosis! but so far its working well for me. shins feel good

RICE is the key while you are suffering it. DO NOT RUN while you are suffering pain. you run the risk of a problem called compartment syndrome. stretching the shins once you recover is also NB. you can stretch them by kneeling down on the ground with your feet extended behind you

i give up bsh.

this is absolute horse-s*$t listening to you.

on one forum you ask umpteen questions about getting your period back, even resorting to stupid chinese herbs. the advice you were given was to cut out physical activity for a while.

then you come on here - looking to do more physical activity to speed up your metabolic rate.

i dont get it. i dont get what you want from the community here. but this irks me. on a personal level i like you - a lot. but this is waffle and im sick of reading it

your doc couldnt possibly know what the optimal bodyfat level for your body is. the same as a bmi of 19 might technically be healthy but your body might be comfortable at a bmi of 23.

bsh, you have asked this question a million different ways in a million different posts. you need to stop running and keep your calories at 2000 when you do. there is no voodoo or hoodoo or magic bullet. the answer is in your own hands but you are denying the fact that you are responsible for this by continuing to look for these magic solutions.

you triggered me. i was quite harsh in my response in the earlier post. i know you are not a malicious person, nor do you set out to upset ppl. but the fact is you have been given tonnes of advice and support here.

you have support if you do the right thing - which is up your calories and stop exercising and put on some weight. the fact is : you are doing none of these things and so i think you need to look outside calorie count and find a real team of ppl, whom you can confide in and trust. but here is not good for you right now. and its not good for us either.

sorry to be blunt but it seems like you wont listen any other way

please......no more ed posts.theres a wealth of info and past posts...

God this place is just overraught....

if you can keep it down, eat - but if you still have vomiting and diarrhea - then fast