| Forum | Topic | Date | Replies |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Oct 31 2007 04:34 (UTC) |
2,348 |
| Carmen, I understand why you are offended but with the way our society is, it just is more acceptable for one to be asked than the other. I guess when people ask that they see being underweight as a positive thing and overweight as a negative thing. In that light, it's kind of like.. you might ask a person with clear skin (+) how they keep their skin so nice but you wouldn't ask a person with acne(-) why they have acne? Does that make sense? It's a bad analogy but I'm just trying to see it from a different perspective on how it could make sense. I'm not saying it's right for your friend to ask you because I honestly think that is a serious lack of etiquette. It is flawed for it to be expected for you to tell your weight while others can keep it a secret. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Oct 30 2007 22:01 (UTC) |
2,353 |
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Hi guys. I haven't been here in a while because I've been really busy. I'm almost a different person now and I feel really good about it. I still have trouble with sometimes overeating and snacking but I've been binge and purge free for over a month and it feels so great. I never thought I would get better but I finally feel accomplished and I'm not not sad all the time. I'm still working out a few things like some anxiety issues and I still don't exactly feel comfortable with my body or with food but things are improving. How are you guys feeling? |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Sep 13 2007 23:41 (UTC) |
2,615 |
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The other day I realized that I have not made much progress in recovery. Not to a point I'm happy with at least. It's been almost three months since I started seeing my therapist. At least I'm beyond purging multiple times a day. But I keep making a lot of progress and staying away from the binging and purging but then falling back harder and harder. I've also gained a lot of weight and I can't seem to lose it, I just keep gaining. I'm so tired of this but I don't want to let go of it for some reason. Today in English class I was given an assignment to write a recommendation letter for myself to give to my teachers or counselors when I needed them to write me one for college. My teacher said to write down my accomplishments and go off of that. I feel like crap now because there is not a single fact about me that looks good on paper. I don't have very good grades, I don't do sports or any extracurricular activities. And it's always a long drawn out process when people try to ask me if there is anything special that I do or anything fun I am interested in but I never have anything to say and always feel shitty afterward. Whatever. But on a positive note (I always like to have one)- I was able to drive home past all the fa(s)t food restaurants and not get anything. I'm proud of myself for that at least. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Aug 23 2007 08:21 (UTC) |
2,686 |
| ally, I'm the opposite about wanting to start school. I'm worried about sinking back into my old routine for school year. Summer was kind of frantic and I had no real pattern to the binging and purging so I did it less. I was doing a lot worse during school because I would go hungry most of the day which gave me more reason to binge after school. Hopefully I will just keep focused. I was doing pretty bad a couple days ago but I've been choosing to not b/p for these past couple days. I don't think I want to tomorrow either, just to have a streak going. I still have that really empty feeling right now but I think I'll journal instead. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Aug 20 2007 08:06 (UTC) |
2,699 |
| I'm a mess right now. My mom decided on Friday that she didn't want to pay for or bring me to therapy anymore. I really freaked out. Friday I binged and purged like crazy while Saturday and Sunday I restricted a lot on top of purging almost everything. It's funny how I already feel like crap from doing all of these things when I know they solve nothing. You can tell in my face already- my eyes are sunken in (mostly from purging so much, I guess.) I hope that when I wake up tomorrow, I will find the strength to not do any of these things instead of running to the store at 8am to buy foods to binge on. I hope that I can also convince my mom that I need to keep seeing my therapist. I had made a lot of progress but there was so much more I needed to talk about. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Aug 17 2007 06:04 (UTC) |
2,710 |
| jaina- You just have to shut out others comments about your body. You know what you're doing isn't healthy (right?) and you don't need outside opinions to get healthier. I think you need to think back and figure out what happened to make you start reversing in your recovery. Talk to someone about how you're feeling or journal about it. You should get back on track and healthy. Try again to up your calories slowly. Do things one day at a time. Today I did something I haven't done in a longgg time: I ate a meal without knowing (or even guessing) how many calories were in it. I have no idea if I ate to much for the day and will gain weight but I really think I needed to stop obsessing for one second because it's not like it was helping anyway. |
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| Health & Support | I've never posted in this forum before. I'm Bulimic | Aug 07 2007 21:22 (UTC) |
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| Honestly, trying to recover on my own is the hardest thing ever for me. I really reccommend seeking out help from a doctor to make sure you are all right physically and working with a therapist to sort out the issues behind the binging and purging. You really have to want recovery though or it will be hard to be successful. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Aug 04 2007 04:22 (UTC) |
2,750 |
| Thanks caz, that does help. The main problem is that she's already underweight. But also her comment about willpower comes from the wrong end because most people with EDs know that willpower is not really what is controlling the choice to starve yourself. I can't explain what is but willpower is not it. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Aug 03 2007 03:09 (UTC) |
2,756 |
| July was a really bad month for me and I feel like I'm coming out of it. Problem is.. my friend seems to be trying to get an ED ever since I told her about mine a few weeks ago. I told her it was hell and most days were horrible but now she's acting like it is something she wants. She said she was barely eating. I freaked out and asked how much and she said 2,000 calories a day. I said "oh, I thought you meant less than 500" and she replied "less than 500? please, i don't have that much willpower!" Mostly, I worry so much about her but at the same time I fear that with her talk of negative behavior, I will snap myself back into those behaviors. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Jul 30 2007 16:41 (UTC) |
2,781 |
| jainasolo- I think your method of adding 50 calories is a good one because you'll be more comfortable with it instead of 100 per day like some people do. Stay strong. sasha- When people started noticing I was losing weight (back when I was) and commented I just said I was dieting. They usually didn't care after that. If they asked what I did, I would say something casual and vague like, "Oh you know... just eating less bad food." A little white lie won't hurt if you're not comfortable with telling someone; however, don't take their comments as compliments because that may skew your recovery. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club II (the REAL one) | Jul 28 2007 06:43 (UTC) |
2,795 |
| I feel dumb because I didn't know about this. Anyway, my therapist gave me a rule now that I can only purge three times a week. She wants me to really think about it and question if purging is really worth it. I'm a little nervous about it but I think I can do it. The "THIN" documentary made me really want to recover too. I was contemplating recovery at the time but it was one of those things that really made me step back and say "wow." I highly recommend it to everyone struggling with an ED. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 26 2007 16:24 (UTC) |
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| Yesterday was so bad. I binged (2500 calories) once but I barely kept any food down for the day. I feel like.. with my weight and behaviors, I'm back to how I was in March or April. It's a big disappointment. |
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| Weight Loss | To eat or not to eat? | Jul 26 2007 16:16 (UTC) |
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| Does it fit into your calories for the day? If yes, eat it. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 23 2007 16:21 (UTC) |
112 |
| I'm almost up to 135 now when last month this time I was probably 127. I feel really gross and fat now that I finally know my weight. My pants are too tight and everything. I have to go to my therapist today and I haven't been keeping track of my food for some reason. Now I know I really need to because it keeps me more disciplined. I have been overeating every day and eating bad foods I would have never had, foods in large quatities, and foods at improper times. My stomach used to hurt back in October-December because I was eating really unhealthy foods and now it has started hurting again. My therapist said that sooner or later she wanted me to see a nutritionist but I would rather it be sooner than later so I could lose weight in a healthy way instead of automatically wanting to just restrict and have that lead to binging later on. I don't know what is keeping me from facing the feelings. I'm purging less now but I think I have switched back to BED. I haven't purged fully since Wednesday. I binged Thursday but then could not purge it all for some reason. Oh well, I'll focus more today. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 17 2007 16:18 (UTC) |
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| Thanks id and sub for the support. I'm here for you guys if you need me. sasha- I know how you feel gaining weight but it's just a number. You were already at a low weight so it won't hurt to gain it. That feeling probably won't go away but 3.5 pounds is normal since weight can fluctuate just that much within a day. kariliann- My best friend and I are the same way. However, she's two inches taller than me and weighs 15 pounds less and is nearing being underweight. Your mom's friend will most likely lighten up in the future since you two are good friends. Let's just hope for that, right? I have to go to my therapist today but I haven't been journal-ing. I just won't bring it because I feel stupid for not doing it. I'll talk to her but I just won't bring my journal. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 15 2007 18:34 (UTC) |
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| Kylieeeeeeee. Please don't let their messages jab at you in the wrong way. I'm sure most of the people here don't think there is nothing wrong with the fact that you're starving yourself just because you are not emaciated-looking. Please. cat-girl may have been confused with what you are saying. Just to let you know, hearing more of your story makes me more worried about you. I didn't know you starved for two weeks at a time. You're wreaking havoc on not just your body but your mind too. I know you realize that but I'm not sure to what extent. I don't know all the risks but I know that you are probably at risk for a lot of health problems even though you are at a "healthy" weight. Just because your weight is healthy doesn't mean you are healthy. Please tell your therapist and maybe even schedule an appointment with a doctor to check for any health problems. Don't let comments from people online who didn't understand get you to do otherwise. ------ I've been gaining weight these days. I can't bring myself to exercise because I'm just really dumb like that. I've b/p 3 times this week and still have been overeating. I'm kind of a mess right now. |
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| Foods | Do you count all these items in your calorie logs? I have been, but..... | Jul 04 2007 19:26 (UTC) |
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| I eat a lot of fruits and veggies so I usually put it in there. Sometimes I leave a little it out if I ggo over on calories just to make myself feel better, haha. |
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| Foods | Favorite fruit? | Jul 04 2007 19:23 (UTC) |
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| Strawberries overall. Sometimes I eat a certain fruit a lot though. Like for a while it was apples (2-3 a day sometimes) and now it's plums. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 04 2007 08:00 (UTC) |
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| Kylie, don't let yourself be invalidated because you are still not underweight. No matter what size you are, you are practicing unhealthy eating habits. You still deserve help and need to discover the reasons behind your ED. --------------- I had an awful day today. First I thought I would not be eating enough today so I had extra cereal in the morning. After work, I got a small waffle fry after work because I figured it would fit in. My friends surprised me and we went to the movies. I got an icee and sour punch straws because I thought I could handle it... but I couldn't and I purged that. Later on we were at the grocery store and I was really hungry so I got a nacho lunchable and had about 3/4 of that and only half the cheese because I figured I could still afford it in my calories for the day or maybe go a bit over. No one told me we would be going out to dinner though (it was already 9:30 and they had food earlier). We went to Chili's and I ate so much food. I had a scoop of ice cream and then picked off everyone else's food but still wound up having a lot of fries (some with cheese), chips and dip, a chicken wing, and then a couple bites of chocolate cake. I messed up soooo bad. I didn't purge though because first my friend was in there with me and then people kept coming in after that. After in the car, Amy started talking about how she felt so sick from eating all her chocolate cake that she wanted to vomit and Ann agreed. Chris started laughing and making retching noises. He also suggested she make herself do it. Blah blah blah. Conversation about self-induced vomiting continued- Chris admitted to doing it sometimes after meals when he was too stuffed. Amy and Ann said they couldn't do it to themselves. Chris called them pussies and said it was easy. I tuned everyone out for a couple seconds then I busted out with "okay well I throw up like every other day." Too far? Maybe. But it was better than letting the conversation continue the way it was going with me silently wanting to punch them all. Chris then turned up the music really loud and said I made it awkward. |
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| The Lounge | Beware of Taco Bell Goofs | Jul 03 2007 06:47 (UTC) |
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I order the Ranchero Chicken Soft tacos Fresco style every time I go to Taco Bell and they make a mistake (giving me the sauce or the cheese) on it 75% of the time. One time they even gave me a spicy chicken soft taco. My friend works at Taco Bell and he said people do not ask for it very often. He said it's confusing to enter it into the system and it doesn't always show up on the screen in the back for the people making it. Other things can happen too, like the regular ones get put in the bag instead because there is no special packaging for Fresco items. Next time you order it and you want to make sure you get it, maybe go inside and tell them. Or if you still want to go through drive thru, check your tacos after you get them at the window and if you see the mistake, tell them specifically (ie "I just want the chicken, lettuce and pico de gallo") and then you'll get it right. Don't be afraid to tell them it's a mistake, you worked in fast food so you know it happens a lot. Your diet is really important to you and that extra sauce and cheese isn't worth screwing it up. |
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| Foods | Rice Cakes! | Jul 03 2007 05:17 (UTC) |
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| I eat the apple cinnamon ones but they don't fill you up at all. | |||
| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 02 2007 19:29 (UTC) |
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| Is it bad that my mom paid me five dollars to not weigh myself all day? | |||
| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 01 2007 23:00 (UTC) |
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I put up a picture of my highest weight from almost 2 years ago when I
hadn't restricted. I look like a cow. Part of me knows I'm not that
size anymore but I feeeeel bigger than I felt at that time. I've gained about 3 or 4 pounds from overeating this week. That's really bad, I'm pretty sure it's because my body was in starvation mode. I started eating more normally (more overeating) and purging less. Now I've gained all this weight and today I freaked out and decided to restrict. I'm at about 350 and I'm going to purge dinner later. I may lose weight now but I'm only putting myself in a position to put on more weight again. It's so confusing because I never know if I'm hungry or not. All day, I've been watching Big Medicine on TLC and that doesn't help me any because I always feel like if I eat at all, I will automatically be obese. Since I gained weight this week, I'm really afraid to gain more and get to a really high weight again. But really I just want a milkshake. I'd purge that if I had it. dona06- Tell your parents. It's better than keeping it in. You can make excuses not to but it won't get you anywhere. If you can't talk to them, at least tell SOMEONE. karliann- It's good you're starting to get sick of the binging and purging. That's the first step for getting better, realizing it's a problem and you're tired of the problem. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jul 01 2007 18:57 (UTC) |
262 |
| Good luck in inpatient, Rebecca. You've been a voice of strength and advice for everyone here and I'm glad to see you taking this big a step toward recovery even though it's scary. Come and see us when you're back. :] |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jun 29 2007 14:36 (UTC) |
268 |
| idwthaedam, that's pretty much exactly how I feel. Also, I find myself also not wanting to b/p because I don't want to journal about it like my therapist wants me to just because I don't want to think about the actual feelings behind it. Even though I feel comfortable with her, it's hard to be honest because I'm used to even lying to myself. I used to say that it "controlled" me but we all know that's a lie. We have to take responsibility for our actions, there is no outside force making us starve, binge or purge in an ED. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jun 27 2007 06:10 (UTC) |
285 |
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aimengzi, I agree with you about that people shouldn't really post their weights in this thread. Not that I'm personally affected by it, but others may be. "All it does is: a) give you a sense of satisfaction over something grossly unhealthy, b) make people struggling with eating disorders feel like shit, or c) (which is within b, I suppose) stimulate the appetite (no pun intended) for competition for people with eating disorders." I stole that from another site I was discussing eating disorders on once. I know a couple ED support sites don't allow people to discuss numbers in general. I don't know how we would manage making that happen though. Well. My psych said she thinks I'm depressed. I really don't want that to be true or admit that I am. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jun 24 2007 21:39 (UTC) |
297 |
| I finally started seeing a lady about my bulimia. She has me doing a food journal and writing down my feelings before I binge. I feel weird because I want to get better but it's mixed feelings at the same time. Any of you know that feeling? You want to recover but it's hard to let go of it. It's like I hate it and I hate myself for it but at the same time I don't care what it's doing to me and I want to hold onto it. |
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| Health & Support | ED Recovery Club | Jun 13 2007 19:13 (UTC) |
375 |
| Kylie, I know how you feel with still not being underweight and feeling unimportant because of this. Please stop letting this get to you. Your doctor was not saying she won't help you but but just saying she can't force recovery on you because your health is not immediately at risk. You can ask for her help if you want to. Maybe you should. :/ Why wait till you're dying from this? ---- I'm going to Universal Studios in Orlando tomorrow for 5 days. I don't know how I'm going to manage my eating. I won't be able to binge/purge but I know I'll probably get really hungry and there isn't much healthy food around a park like that. The thing is, it's just going to be me and my friend there. She knows about my bulimia and she has ednos (leaning toward anorexia at times) herself. Sometimes we're a mess together. I keep telling myself that maybe I can just eat a decent amount without purging because I will be walking most of the day so I need to eat but who knows. I already b/p'd a large amount this morning. A whole roll of cookie dough, 2 pints of ice cream, a cupcake and 6 cookies. |
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| Weight Loss | Wow, weighting yourself naked really makes a difference. | Jun 12 2007 08:07 (UTC) |
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| I always weigh myself naked/with little clothes. I feel crazy doing it sometimes. | |||
| Health & Support | stuck in a viscious cycle. need serious help! | Jun 12 2007 07:30 (UTC) |
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| You sound like me. Bulimia is so much fun, amiright? Really, like sunkissedbliss said, don't fast. I'm not saying I don't b/p anymore but adding fasting in there just makes the problem worse. Try to eat tomorrow and stick to safe foods. Don't let yourself get hungry. If it doesn't work and you binge or purge anyway, try again the next day. [Today I binged/purged half a cookie cake (700+ cals?), a blizzard from DQ(1320 cals) and 6 cupcakes(600+ cals?).] |
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