Posts by torpidire

Thanks melkor! You always have the best advice! It's not actually my ankle, but my foot itself. Like, the top part that doesn't really come into contact with anything. I would have it looked at, but I'm having some health insurance issues at the moment, and really, really can't afford to pay any more bills. I do appreciate your help though! 

Thanks lalabanana! You really are an awesome inspiration and an amazing moderator, what would we do without you?

I've been having a very challenging week so far. I slipped and fell on Friday night and did something strange to my foot, and have been having difficulty walking on it. Obviously, that makes me almost totally sedentary, since I don't think limping too and from class really counts as exercise. Second, I lost my wallet on Saturday, WITH all of my money, the bank card that would allow me to get more, and my school ID card that lets me into the dining hall on campus in it. Therefore, on Sunday and yesterday my intake was way, way low because I was at the mercy of my friends bringing me food. I think I was at under 500 each day, and was NOT happy about it. Thankfully, I found my wallet yesterday night, so I can get back on track with my eating today, and I'm going home for Thanksgiving, but the lack of excercise really freaks me out. I'm a workout-aholic, and although I'm careful not to overdo it, I get really, really anxious when I can't. Not to mention the fact that my dad and I are supposed to be running an 8k together on Thanksgiving morning (Thursday) and I don't know if my foot will let me. I don't want to let him down, and I really do want to get the exercise because I know it will allay the guilt I'll feel about eating so much on Turkey day, but I also don't want to hurt myself doing it. Ugh. Keep truckin ladies, and fill er up! 

Oh Gibbit, sweetie, no one's going to slap you. I know exactly where you're coming from. I also graduate in (EEEK!) four weeks, and have nothing, NOTHING lined up for after I finish. Like you, I'm also not into turning into a suit, and the whole idea of ending up unemployed with bills to pay freaks me out beyond belief.

I admit, I haven't been doing nearly as well as I should be lately. Thing is, I KNOW what to do to take care of myself. I know exactly how much I need to be eating, how often, and how much exercise to do (or not do) to stay healthy. But when I get stressed or depressed or over-emotional in any way (which, as a college student, is pretty much constant) I turn to, you guessed it! food. I do approx. 30-45 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of weights daily, and within the past month have worked a rest day into my routine. That was hard at first, but I think I'm getting used to it. 

It's the eating that gets me. I force myself to have a healthy breakfast every day, even though I'm rarely hungry. I make myself meet my friends for lunch, although it's touch and go whether I'll find much more than a salad with beans to eat. Dinner, I've lately had with friends too, although my anxiety-ridden self would rather eat alone. But I still come up short almost all the time. The problem? I'm still not losing, so my ED side says "hey! You can stop eating now! Your body is back to normal!" Um, no. Because then the weekend comes and I binge. I drink, then I drunk binge. It's disgusting, it's awful, and I spend the next week HATING myself for doing it and trying to "make up" for the weekend.

That, and a close friend confided in me recently that she had an ED for five years before coming to college, and was starting to slip back into it. She was having suicidal thoughts, and wanted my help. I told her everything I know to say, about the dangers, the risks, how much she's hurting herself. So I've been making sure SHE eats three meals a day at least, and she seems to be doing well. Do as I say, not as I do. 

So I guess what I'm saying is, hang in there. I don't think ED is something that ever really, truly leaves. It's a struggle that never stops, and that's terrifying and discouraging, but you're not alone. We're all here pulling for you and going through the same thing you are, so if anyone needs a slap, I think we can all jump in line for one, too. *hugz* Stay strong babe!

Fried foods. They (TMI alert!) go right through me, and my stomach is upset for almost 24 hours afterward.

Chips.

Pop-tarts.

Pretty much any processed food. 

Full-sized candy bars (a mini is more than enough)

white bread

commercial cookies, like Chips Ahoy. Give me homebaked any day! 

I've gone back and forth. I logged obsessively during the height of my ED, things like one slice of cucumber, six grapes, and I actually counted out everything to make sure I wasn't going over my allotted cals. Then when I decided to recover (the first time) I also stopped logging. For me, this led to bingeing. Then I stopped logging, and started writing down in a notebook everything I was eating. That sort of helped the bingeing, but since  I wanted to see shorter and shorter lists each day, I started undereating again (half unintentionally) I stopped writing, and started bingeing. I agree with joestevie, my obsession with food was sort of replaced with an obsession with counting. I just recently, within the past month or so, started using the logs again because I'm back at school where I can't prepare my own meals, and I wanted to see how I was doing calorically. Surprise, surprise! Undereating again. So I guess I still haven't figured out whether logging daily is "healthy" or not, but I know for me anyways, logging what I eat to make sure I'm not "cheating" is a heck of a lot healthier than estimating too low. So that's my two cents. 

I've been lactose intolerant since birth, and it has gotten worse as I get older. I now take these lactaid pills that you only take once a day and I'm usually fine, but I still can't take cream or anything too milk-y even with the pills. Straight milk would send me straight to bed with severe stomach cramps, bloating, and nausea. Good times. Fortunately, I don't really like creamy stuff or milk anyway, so the only stuff I have to watch myself around are chocolate, yogurt, and (rarely) cheese. 

haha, I think the jean dance should be added to the activity log. It's hard work! Sometimes when I'm in a dressing room at the mall, I literally start laughing when I think about what the camera surveillance people must see when they look at all these women jiggling around trying to get into teensy pants. Picture it: it's hilarious! 

Try massaging your face with something citrusy because I don't know if it will make it any less puffy, but it will make you feel tighter and more refreshed. Same goes for a good astringent toner. If you really get desperate, try taking an antinflamatory, like advil. I don't know if it would help, but that's what I've heard you should do for especially aggressive acne or other inflammation, so maybe puffiness falls into the same category. Lastly, I'm sure it's all in your head, so the best thing you can do it make like nothing's wrong. Stand tall, smile, wear something that makes you look your best, take special care with your make-up and hair, and exude confidence like it's your job. If you look like you feel beautiful, you will be. 

I must've been 5 or 6. I remember being at daycare and standing in front of the full-length mirror in the dress-up area, scrutinizing my figure. I would constantly compare myself to my classmates, both male AND female, trying to figure out if they were skinnier or fatter than me. I was a painfully shy kid, and bullied constantly for reasons I still can't figure out, so that didn't help my self-esteem issues. My mom would always tell me to suck in my stomach, from a very young age, because she thought it stuck out. A "friend" told me in 8th grade that "You'd be really pretty if you just got rid of your tummy." When I came back from studying abroad about a year and a half ago, a friend said, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight! You always had a little pooch, but you've gotten rid of it now." This was after I had developed an ED and hadn't eaten more than 500 cals/day (usually much less than that) for the past six months. Funny thing is, even though I had been going to a gym and eating pretty healthily since middle school, I had never really tried to do anything about my weight until about two years ago. I was never fat. Never. I was really underweight as a kid (product of being born very premature, I guess) and my BMI levelled out right at the bottom of the range after puberty. But for whatever reason, I always, always, always thought I was fat and ugly. I'm still working on my body dysmorphic issues, but I'm proud to say I've FINALLY recovered physically from my ED and am at a healthy weight again. And I'm determined to stay there. 

Any high-cal, sugary drink. It's just not worth it to me.

Hard candy. Heck, any candy.

Refined sugar.

White bread. (the really processed kind that you can roll into a ball. Eeeew, why would you want to eat that?)

Marshmallows

That happens to me too. I had a whole battery of tests done, and my dr. finally determined it was blood pressure related. He told me to drink a LOT of water, but to compensate with high sodium foods to retain water. He said that basically, my electrolytes can fluctuate wildly for apparently no reason, which causes my blood pressure to drop, which makes me dizzy. Try drinking gatorade of gatorade-like drinks and making sure you're well-hydrated. Also stay away from foods that give you a quick sugar rush: low GI is key, because spiking and dropping blood sugar only makes it worse, for me, anyway. And don't stand up too quickly, or you may black out. Disclaimer: I'm just repeating what my dr. told me, so if you have the same thing, these things may help. But they may not, and you may have a totally different issue. I would go get it checked out regardless, because passing out can be dangerous if you're out/in the shower/alone/etc. take care of yourself! 

Love it! 

I'll be back to post something funny, once I remember I have a sense of humor. :)

It is, it is. I may just have to have one tonight and *pretend* it's New Year's! 

Hilarious.

Set and match.

I'm with you! When I'm up, I either don't eat at all (why take time to eat when there's so much ELSE to be done?) or I'll eat really fast, really extreme flavors (incredibly spicy foods, sickly sweet things, puckery sour, whatever, as long as it almost hurts to eat it) and make myself ill just for the sheer excitement of it all. Then I crash in a big way and not only is my mental health spiraling, but my tummy is upset too. Lovely. Then when I'm down, one of two things happens: I get too tired to eat and my appetite vanishes and all I want to do is sleep and forget I ever existed, or I stuff myself mindlessly to try to get a "sugar high" or a caffeine high to make myself feel better. Once again, then I'm bloated and tired from overeating and even MORE depressed because I'm ruining my health goals. Ugh. I agree, it's so hard to deal with being healthy in the body when your mind is so polarized. My advice? Try two different approaches for the two different extremes. For me, I have to literally think differently when I'm depressed or manic. It only helps (strange as it sounds) to adopt two ways of talking to myself, like I'm dealing with two different people. Maybe that would work for you, as a diet strategy? 

Hang in there. It's a hard road, but I think it can be dealt with, if not solved entirely. Good luck!