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| Motivation | Visualize the weight lost - it really helped me! | Nov 24 2009 00:46 (UTC) |
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I hope this doesn't offend anyone but a friend of mine used to say, when I had lost 45 lbs, that I had lost half an Asian. ;) It was funny because my friend Jing is about 110 lbs so when my weight loss hit 55 lbs I started telling people I had lost half a Jing. She thought it was funny! |
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| Motivation | Starting over for the last time group... | Nov 24 2009 00:41 (UTC) |
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I'm glad to be in Canada and not have Thanksgiving coming up. :) I've been sticking to my eating plan reasonably well, and hope to be below 200 again within a few days. Have fun over the holidays everyone! |
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| Motivation | Help...huge weight gain in 2 weeks...can this be right? | Nov 24 2009 00:37 (UTC) |
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Yep, different scales is the culprit here. Don't worry about it. You may, however, be too tall and active to be eating so little - why 1200? You said yourself it isn't enough. It will not make you lose faster, in the long run. |
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| Motivation | He's quitting smoking, I'm quitting being fat... :) | Nov 24 2009 00:34 (UTC) |
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Just make sure you don't take up smoking thinking it will control your appetite, and he doesn't start eating himself into obesity while avoiding cigarettes. ;) Good luck to you both. It sounds like he needs to realize that your struggle will actually probably be harder than his, since "cold turkey" on food is not an option...
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| Motivation | Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean Let the waves up take me down | Nov 24 2009 00:32 (UTC) |
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Your friend is putting you down in order to feel better about herself. It's sadly not unheard of for friends to sabotage your weight loss because they have conflicted feelings about their own weight. Any friend that would laugh at my body would stop being a friend pretty quick, or would at least get challenged on that behaviour and given one - ONE - chance to apologize and never do it again. And CC is all about peer support - use us! It has been and continues to be an invaluable source of support on my journey.
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| Motivation | weekends are soo hard!!! any tips? | Nov 24 2009 00:29 (UTC) |
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Can you make your weekend days maintenance days, meaning you eat maintenance calories instead of weight loss calories? You can still indulge but not go overboard, that way. I second the dinner-at-home then drinks-with-friends idea. Don't drink enough to get hung over - stop when you're at the happy buzzed zone that doesn't lead to hangovers - and you will not only have limited your beer-calorie intake, but reduced your desire for junk food the next day! It's always more fun when you get just drunk enough to be relaxed and happy and uninhibited, but not enough to actually get a hangover. Also for hangover prevention, drink a couple of glasses of water and take two aspirin before bed (after drinking), and make sure to alternate your beers with some water as well, because it's mostly the dehydration that causes the symptoms... Develop a sunday morning ritual that will help you stay on track- maybe brunch with friends at one of those fruit-heavy breakfast bistros where you can get light, healthy food? (Do they have those where you live?) |
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| Weight Loss | heavy bones or what? | Nov 24 2009 00:04 (UTC) |
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Probably not so much heavy bones (weight) as a large frame (volume). You are smack dab in the middle of the "healthy weight range" at BMI 22.7, but remember that the range exists for a reason - just as there are very narrow short (usually asian) women who look "normal" at 18.5, there are naturally broad-shouldered and hippy women who look best at BMI 25. There is nothing wrong with having a large frame. |
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| Weight Loss | I've had an epiphany over the last few days... It's not about looking like a celebrity!! | Nov 23 2009 23:45 (UTC) |
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Here's a retouching website that you can look at (go to "portfolio") and see how the before and after pictures of celebrities are quite different. I post this link whenever this topic comes up because there is always someone who hasn't seen it yet - believe me, it is interesting. |
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| Weight Loss | You HAVE TO let the body stabilize? | Nov 23 2009 23:34 (UTC) |
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What it sounds like is your body is already auto-stabilizing for the past couple of months. You are still living the lifestyle that lost you the weight, and your body is having an extended plateau in order to adjust. DON'T cut calories further with the goal of continuing weight loss at this time. Keep doing what you've been doing (your rate of loss is not too quick as far as I can tell) and if it starts again, so be it, and if it doesn't, it means your body does need this time to adjust. After 6 months of no loss (that means 4 months from now), then maybe think about adjusting your energy balance. And don't worry - your internet lover will not be disappointed - you were a pretty girl even when you were heavier and you are in fine shape now! Women sometimes underestimate men's ability to find them sexy... ;) |
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| Weight Loss | Why do I keep lossing controll??? | Nov 23 2009 23:21 (UTC) |
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Is it possible that you are underfeeding yourself most of the time? That is usually the culprit behind binging, especially if it's only been happening since you started losing weight. Even if your calorie level is not too low, maybe you are not eating food "in quantity" - stuffing yourself full of veggies, for instance, until you can barely move let alone binge more, can be done even on a calorie-restricted diet. |
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| Weight Loss | I reached my half way mark !! | Nov 23 2009 23:19 (UTC) |
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Well done! Congratulations! :) |
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| Motivation | have you ever.... | Nov 23 2009 03:49 (UTC) |
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All the freaking time. It's why I enjoy giving advice - it keeps my own head straight too. :) |
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| The Lounge | That little. black. dress. | Nov 23 2009 00:52 (UTC) |
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Original Post by smrox: I love it! I will make sure to use "de-skankify" as a verb sometime. :) I just bought some knee-high suede boots with 4-inch heels, bought after two hours of searching for boots that are just the right level of skankness. They are not f-me boots, they are "take me to dinner, treat me respectfully, and then ravish me intensely" boots |
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| Weight Loss | Not a "muffin top" a "loaf top" rant! | Nov 23 2009 00:46 (UTC) |
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What kind of size 9 was she fitting into? That sounds simply impossible to me. I am tall, weigh less than her, and can only fit into a (vanity sized) 12 - or a real 14. |
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| Pregnancy & Parenting | Should I tell him? | Nov 23 2009 00:31 (UTC) |
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Um, if having this baby will mean abandoning your dreams and making this guy's life miserable, and you "cannot" have an abortion, how about adoption? Are you really able to raise a child at this point, with all this drama? Don't bite my head off, I'm just asking, because your posts seem to indicate that this is absolutely the wrong time for you to bring a child into your life... |
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| Pregnancy & Parenting | Early Symptoms of Pregnancy Opinions | Nov 23 2009 00:27 (UTC) |
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I personally had no early pregnancy symptoms except lack of a period and mild uterine cramping. If you're on the pill AND using condoms, you are probably OK - well done, by the way! - you are using the "double dutch" method that leads the Netherlands to have the world's lowest rate of unplanned pregnancy and STD transmission. Wait for your period, relax, make sure you don't miss any pills, and good luck. If you did miss pills, the discharge might be a "breakthrough bleed" that indicates that the pill is not as effective this month - but the usual advice in that situation is to use condoms as well, which you are already doing, so again, don't worry. If you didn't miss pills (for the 20-mcg low dose ones, taking it more than an hour or two in either direction of your usual time counts as "missing it", BTW) and you get the discharge again, you could always go to the gynecologist to be checked out.
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| Pregnancy & Parenting | The pull out method | Nov 23 2009 00:20 (UTC) |
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An important thing to keep in mind is that couples have different baseline levels of fertility as well. For a high-fertility couple, any method will be on the low end of effectiveness and I would not recommend withdrawal. For a low-fertility couple, it might well be all they need for their entire lives together. And yes, there are viable sperm in the pre-ejaculate of fertile men - the more fertile the man, the more likely the pre-ejaculate is to impregnate someone. I have seen women who became pregnant without even being penetrated. Intact hymens and all, and some uber-fertile boy came a bit too close (in both senses of the word). Since you are open to the idea of BC failure, use whatever floats your boat. If you were really not ready to be pregnant, I would recommend a different method. (Even condoms alone would not be sufficient, IMO, for someone who really needs to avoid pregnancy). |
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| Pregnancy & Parenting | Nursing in public- your opinion | Nov 23 2009 00:14 (UTC) |
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Original Post by merylwhite1: I agree with meryl on this one. My definition of modesty does not preclude a woman from freely feeding her child. It's not inappropriate exposure as far as I'm concerned. |
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| Weight Loss | Sedentary but not bedridden | Nov 23 2009 00:04 (UTC) |
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Honestly, unless you are feeling fatigue, hunger pangs, increased cold sensitivity, or other signs that your intake is too low, I think you're OK here. You are older and the metabolism slows down as you age, so your caloric requirement drops. Sounds like you really are not doing any activity, either. Your bad knee and arthritis might actually bother you less as you lose, and encourage you to exercise - and indeed, when you do that, increase your calories. In general, I would advise older people to develop an exercise program - will be easier once you have dropped some weight, of course - that includes strength training and stretching, to maintain mobility and flexibility as long as possible. If you feel like your loss is too quick, or you worry about getting folds of skin or stretch marks from a quick loss, you could always increase your intake to 1400-1500 or so.And of course even within your 1200 cals a day, make sure you are getting the required servings of fruit and vegetables, protein, fiber, calcium-containing foods, etc. Congratulations on your loss! |
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| Weight Loss | Dear all, need advice.. | Nov 22 2009 23:56 (UTC) |
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Jas, your goal might be a bit extreme (102 lbs, BMI 18.7). Because you are asian, short, and presumably narrow-framed, I'm not going to call it unhealthy, but you may find that maintaining that weight will not come naturally to you - and it is a bad idea to fight your healthy set point. Since you have been "binging" (what is binging to you, btw - how many calories a day is "binging" in your mind?) then it is possible that your current 132 lbs (BMI still under 25, though) is indeed above your natural weight, especially if you are narrow-framed. I have to echo the others - 1200 cals a day, for someone who tends to emotionally eat, is setting yourself up for failure. You think you are organizing quick weight loss, and that might be true for a little while, it will backfire by leading you to quit entirely - and you will stop, it will feel like punishment/deprivation, and as you lose weight your self-hate will diminish and that seems to be what is motivating you. That's another bad idea, by the way - body hatred being the motivation to lose weight - it leads directly to weight cycling. You hate yourself less as you lose so you stop "punishing" yourself, so you regain, then you hate yourself more. If your friends are real friends, they won't mock you for your weight and they will be perfectly OK with hanging out as before. They will be supportive of your efforts to stop emotional overeating. Your youth is wasting away not because you are carrying a few extra pounds (again, not even overweight in terms of health risks), but rather because you are isolating yourself and feeling depressed. Do your best to adjust your attitude, and you can jump back into enjoying life at any weight. |
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| Motivation | Does my lack of a deity help me lose weight? Where's my motivation? | Nov 22 2009 21:51 (UTC) |
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Dr.grim, your kids will make up their own minds, as most of us do. My father is a minister and I wound up an atheist. Kids are not as influenceable as all that, in the long run, especially when their home life is not proselytizing at them. I would challenge the theory that you "bear your own weight". I would argue that we are all interdependent in ways that we don't like to acknowledge, and you manage to achieve what you achieve, to a significant degree, through the love and work of other people, even if it is unrecognized and unrewarded. I hear the "self-sufficiency" argument used the most by people who are at the pinnacle of social privilege - like being born on third base and spending your whole life thinking you hit a triple. Note that I am using "you" in the general sense, this is not an attack on you personally, Dr.grim. I include myself in this "you" as well, because I also feel smug sometimes for things I have achieved - while standing on the shoulders of those before, and those around me. And of course I agree it is really obnoxious when people think that because I don't believe in a deity, that I am somehow ignorant or amoral or unlucky. Similarly, I'm sure religious people don't like being called sheep, or weak, or using a crutch, etc. We ALL have our crutches, we all have our reassuring narratives. We all lean on others whether we realize it or not, and we all benefit from the incredible level of organization, specialization, and interdependence that this human society has achieved. And, of course, I support your efforts to promote the secular nature of American society, but as a Canadian I don't deal with nearly the same level of oppression in that regard, so I don't have quite the same defensiveness. If I were in the States I'd probably be more on the defensive side myself. :) |
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| Weight Loss | How many lbs can you possibly gain in a week? | Nov 22 2009 21:39 (UTC) |
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You have probably gained about as much as clairelaine says but remember that the number on the scale might be higher than that for now, because that food probably was high-salt, making you retain water, and there is the actual weight of the food itself in your colon. I once came back after a three-day splurge in NYC and the scale showed me at 12 lbs heavier. Two days later, all but 3 were magically gone. Still, it kinda freaked me out at the time. Don't let it freak you out. People who are not overweight have overeating periods too, they just let their regular healthy lifestyle take care of it in time. You just have to do the same thing. (For that matter, are you overweight at all? Doubtful, at 127 lbs, so why worry?) |
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| Weight Loss | 104 pounds lost, 10 to go! I need a motivational speech! | Nov 22 2009 21:24 (UTC) |
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Don't have a whole speech to say, except this - and I apologize in advance if this is inappropriate - looking at your picture made me want to lick your shoulders. Slowly. Keep it up, whatever you're doing, 'cause DAMN it's working. On a more helpful note, you clearly don't have that much of a thanatos, because you've lost how much already? Figure out what the emotional need is that you're trying to eat away today, and try to fill it in the appropriate way instead of by binging. And I agree with your mom - have a little something you enjoy - but have it when you are at least half an hour away from your house and/or other sources of immediately available fattening food. Like, buy a junior bacon cheeseburger and a bottle of water or diet drink on your way to a local park, where you watch people walk by and eat it calmly and slowly, savouring the taste and the moment, without it being an uncontrollable thing. Bonne chance, mon beau. :)
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| The Lounge | my cat's tongue is sticking out.. drooling a bit.. she is not eating at all.. HELP!! | Nov 22 2009 21:15 (UTC) |
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Original Post by clairelaine: I was gonna say stroke but clairelaine beat me to it. Please do take her to another vet. Animals (including humans) can sometimes recover some function after strokes, but it's not like cats can do physio to increase their chances... She probably can't swallow well because the nerve pathways that help her do so are down. |
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| The Lounge | How do I stop being clingy and insecure!? | Nov 22 2009 21:13 (UTC) |
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Original Post by kbella24: Very wise advice here. I second this. Relationships should add to your energy, not suck it away. |
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| Motivation | Weight,obsessiveness and depression | Nov 22 2009 21:07 (UTC) |
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Here is another vote for things turning around in university/college. That happened to me as well. Plus, highschool can be tricky inasmuch as if you aren't popular, even if you are attractive people won't be with you because of the stigma. It is possible that your "friends" are into you but think that you aren't interested. Alternatively, it could be a lack of confidence holding you back. You could always try getting drunk with a "friend" that you secretly like (or having a few drinks and pretending to have a lower tolerance than you actually have) and stealing a kiss. If it doesn't go well, you can laugh it off as the alcohol talking and try to maintain the friendship (risky, I know, but can pay off). |
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| Motivation | Does my lack of a deity help me lose weight? Where's my motivation? | Nov 22 2009 06:42 (UTC) |
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Original Post by dkiesser: dkiesser, I also believe that there is more to life than me, but that doesn't mean I believe in a deity. I don't know whether you intended to imply that atheists consider themselves the center of the universe, but that is how it came across. I certainly don't fit that judgment. And I don't think Christians are weak or blind - and I expect that they will not think that of me, either. Unfortunately, many have judged me in this and other ways because I do not believe in a deity. Make sure that while justifiably defending yourself against the unfair judgments of others, that you do not in turn smear those who believe differently than you. I, as an agnostic atheist, try to make sure to defend myself as needed, but maintain respect for different beliefs. |
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| Motivation | How do you convince yourself that it's worth it? | Nov 22 2009 00:28 (UTC) |
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Desire for good health, and specifically many years of healthy life, are what motivate me. I still don't know exactly what triggered my initial loss, 2.5 years ago - maybe the fact that my knees were hurting when I climbed stairs at only 30 years old, maybe the realization that with half my family being diabetic, it was only a matter of time for me if I stayed at 240 lbs... I lost 55 lbs in about 7 months, kept it off a while, and over the past year and a half have fluctuated back up to a 15-lb regain. I have been working in hospitals for nearly two years now and it is getting more and more clear to me that excess weight will affect the quality of my daily life SO much more after middle-age than before, and I happen to believe that this life is all we have. I want as much time as I can get, as much life as I can get, and I want that life to be mobile and healthy and unencumbered by medications and surgeries and impediments to everyday activities. All I can say for sure is DO NOT use self-hate as a motivator to change. That is what leads to weight cycling - self-hate leads to changes that are perceived as deprivation and anhedonia, which leads weight loss, which leads to a very healthy rejection of self-hating "deprivation" behaviours, which leads to regain, rinse lather repeat. Instead, do it from a place of self-love, of desire for health and long life BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT. Make changes that don't feel too bad (all change feels bad at first, but make sure it's something you can get used to, and make sure that you still enjoy your lifestyle overall). And hell, get a pet. It's a nice help toward overcoming depression. Get the cuddliest cat you can find (or dog, if you have the flexible home-based lifestyle that allows a dog). |
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| Motivation | I have so much anxety I don't know what to do | Nov 22 2009 00:05 (UTC) |
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Every 5% of body weight that you lose, when you are obese, drops your cardiovascular disease risk in a significant way. You have done GREAT and even if you don't lose more but just maintain where you are, you will have permanently improved your health profile. Maintain as long as you feel you must, and when you want to lose more, do so. Don't fret and don't feel anxious!!! :) |
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| Motivation | Starting over for the last time group... | Nov 22 2009 00:00 (UTC) |
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Hi everyone! I lost ~55 lbs in late 2007, kept it off for a while, and then over the course of about a year and a half have regained 15 - and now I'm back on CC to get back on track. I have a pile of excuses about how it happened - busy schedule, no time to eat right, etc - but I need to see them for what they are, which is excuses. My health and well-being have to take priority over my "busyness". My goal is to finally get to a healthy BMI, which right now translates into about a 40-lb loss. (Hey, it used to be 80, so that's still something). I know it won't be as fast as the first 40 and I'm OK with that. In fact, I now think that returning to the 1500 cals/day that I used the first time might be a bit ambitious, and I will probably aim for 1600-1700 a day, meaning I would lose 5 lbs a month instead of 8-9. The means I have to get there are: 1)-stopping "social overeating" - dinners out, work lunches, etc when I am not hungry but just eating because everyone else is, and because it tastes good. I turned down a dinner invitation with two friends tonight (both quite large, both very much overeaters) for this reason. 2) -bringing healthy food with me, because I cannot make myself reliably get it in my work environment (I spend about 60-80 hours a week in the hospital, and the food there is not as healthy as it should be). 3) -having "brainless snacking food" that is healthy. Yes, I sometimes just eat food to keep my hands and mouth occupied and I need to realize that I will not be able to reliably eliminate this practice entirely. I am, as I write, mindlessly munching on thawed edamame, about 200-250 calories' worth, and am wondering whether I will even be able to finish them all, because they are so filling - yet they have an excellent mouthfeel for snacking. :) 100-cal popcorn bags tend to have the same effect, as do cut-up red or green peppers, or baby carrots. I need to do this consistently, instead of reaching for chocolate. 4) -walking home when the weather permits - probably about 3 times a week. It's about a 45-minute walk and it can be pleasant with the ipod going. Along with the non-sedentary kind of work I do, this is all I can realistically see happening for exercise at this moment. I post these things because it's important for me to see them concretized and it's motivating to think of reporting back to a group of like-minded individuals. I hope that you don't mind me joining you!!! -tw
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