Posts by glttr7

You are right, Patsy. Affection and foreplay do start in the morning with little things. This is what I hope to acheive in counseling. My husband does not get this. He isn't romantic, and hasn't been affectionate and attentive for a long time. When he wanted to fool around, he would just start it up, but of course I don't work that way. I need more time.

I read in a magazine that hinting/plotting your sexual adventures for the evening in the morning helped. So I tried that ("Hey sweetie, have fun at work...when you get home, we'll have some real fun "wink wink") or something like that. He never wanted to play that game, so I stopped.

I'm hoping that this is starting to sink in for him...we talk about in counseling, and he's getting a little better. But while there's a bit more affection, there's no passion, on either side. But there's only so much teaching I"m willing to do.

Yikes. Your post was interesting..."there was always some stressful thing".  I'm am totally waiting for the work schedule to change, thinking that will magically fix it, since he won't be working such crazy hours. But then I remember...he's only been working these crazy hours for 6-7 months. And, he's come right out and said in counseling that he's just never in the mood. And he won't go to his doctor, in case it's a physical/hormonal thing. Yikes. I think I"m headed down your path...thanks for chiming in.

HI, OP here.

Thanks for all the input. I've been trying so hard to not be dependant on others' view of me (or perceived view) to determine how I feel about myself, but I haven't had much success. I feel better hearing that others would react the same way, and that I"m not being a super-senstive ninny.

As for 2+ years without...I'm ready to jump anyone who shows any interest in me, and consequences be damned! I can totally justify it...now that's very telling! Too bad I'm self-employed and work alone all day!

Thanks all.

OK, thanks....I'm going to read the article right now.

Others at my gym with whom I've discussed this have all said to make sure my settings are right...I'm going to do it again this weekend, but I've doublechecked everything and it seems right. Like I said, I'll re-do it anyway.

I do always put lots of lotion on, but it's usually fragranced. Do you have a brand you like that works for you?

Don't cry...you are not defined by the size of your hips! I"m sure you have a lot to offer the world, and that's what matters. That being said, if you aren't happy, resolve to take action. I don't know if you're exercising/dieting, but if not, find an activity you enjoy and go for it. I feel your pain...I get really depressed too, about my body. But, then I remind myself that I'm trying really hard to change it, and that it just takes time. And at the same time, I realize that I'm the only one with a problem w/my body! No one else cares! I think about all of my positive aspects that make me who I am.

Do it for yourself...and don't cry. Chin up!!

Best of luck to you! The first step is just deciding to take action! Just that alone empowers you! Do take the diet advice/intake advice others have given. But no one has mentioned exercise yet. If you've never really exercised the pounds will fly off in the beginning. You'll sleep better, you'll feel more relaxed, and you'll really feel that you're in control of your life. If you can afford it, join a gym... there's a YMCA everywhere and their prices can be reasonable. Curves is another option for beginners, though I have never tried it. The trick is to find something you like to do...if you hate to run, don't. Now, in the beginning you'll need to go easy. Start with a walk every day. Get good shoes, get good music on your Ipod and just go. Don't worry about how long or how far at first. Just start moving. Most gyms offer free training to new members, to help you get started. Do not be afraid of the gym. No one is paying attention to anyone else...we're all there to improve our own lot in life, so don't worry about people watching you or whatever (I mention that because I know a lot of gym newbies have that fear!). And hire a personal trainer for at least a handful of sessions, again if you can afford it. They'll guide you on your workouts, and also help with your diet. Plus, they're your cheerleader and drill sergeant all rolled into one! There's also lots of good fitness DVDs out there, that you can do at home. I personally can't work out at home...I'm too comfy! I need to go the gym, since that's all that's going on there.

Good luck and don't get discouraged. Healthy weight loss takes time and patience, but you'll acquire life long healthy habits. Have fun!