Posts by shanfood

I wanted to check in and let you all know that we are doing well. I'm almost amazed at how well we are doing. Dave and I both have very strong Christian beliefs and we know that Chris is in better place. We also know that he is still here with us, that his spirit is still around. We have had the opportunity to feel him and even see him. It still hurts to have him gone, and I cry every now and again because I miss him.

The outcome of why Chris was gone is what we first predicted. But after so many months of seaching we assumed he couldn't still be in the area. We had done so many areal seaches and ground seaches and we have so many hunters here in the fall that we knew we had looked everywhere. It really was a shock to find out that he was here all along.

It really is a miracle that we ever found Chris. In all honesty where he was, we should have never found him. That part of the mountain is so steep that no one would go there to hike or hunt. During the recovery of his body the National Guard had a helicopter there to help. The pilot was given the exact GPS coordinates of the vehicle. When they flew above the site they radioed back asking for correct coordinates, because they couldn't see anything. They were told they did indeed have the correct ones. So even with the exact GPS coordinates the pilot couldn't see where Chris' blazer was. It's no wonder we couldn't see him in all of our searching.

I truly believe there is a reason it took us 19 months to find him. I believe there are many reasons, and we may not know all of them until we too get to the other side. I think we found Chris when he was ready for us to find him. I think along the way he wanted us to know that he was OK, but he wasn't ready for us to bring him home yet. I know that we learned so many things in those 19 months that you can't learn any other way. We learned to lean on each other and our Savior. We learned a whole new level of compassion, sympathy and empathy.

Dave and I and Sasha and her parents went to see the blazer after it had been recovered. It wasn't taken off the mountain for a few weeks after Chris' body was because of the snow and how steep the mountain is in that area. It looked worse then I had imagined it would. Before we saw it we knew that the glass had been broken out and that he was airborne for about 100 feet before hitting then the vehicle went end over end who knows how many times. But seeing it made it very real. It wasn't a morbid as I thought it might be. It was weird thinking this was the last place Chris was alive, but that wasn't the dominate feeling. It really was more peaceful then that. It is hard to explain, but it really was just looking at a wrecked vehicle. It wasn't a lot different then if I had been looking at another wrecked car. It wasn't dark and sad like I was afraid it might be. It was just Chris' car all smashed up. I'm not sure that makes any sense. For me it was good to see. It was part of the closure.

I still have so much to say. I'm not sure anyone cares to hear it as much as it is good for me to share the stories and heal through that. So again thank you for giving me a place to be.

Thank you for your prayers. They really are what kept us going and helped us through the worst of it.

There is a retreat for families of missing loved ones this coming weekend. it is being put on by Project Jason. When I had heard about it initially I wanted to go. Dave wasn't so sure. It is weird now thinking of the families that will be there, and that we don't need to be. My heart aches for those families. I am so grateful that we have an end to our search. I feel so blessed that we aren't still one of those families.

I will be back with more. Thank you again for your continued support.

~Shannon 

I'm not sure I like writing this. I think I like writing that I don't know anything better. I know we are still in shock. Right now I don't have a lot of time, but I promise I'll get back soon to let you all know what amazing stories have happened in the last couple of weeks. We knew that we would be finding out soon. We met with the gentleman that found him. That is an amazing story. I wish I could say it all now. I haven't had time to read your messages, but I will, hopefully by tonight.

THANK YOU all so much for your continued support and love and prayers. Thank you for your strength. Thank you for keeping us in your hearts and Chris alive in your thoughts.

With love,

~SHannon

I know I need to come back to cc for physical and emotional reasons. I have been so withdrawn from everything in my life and I know that I need to get back into the swing of some things.

I still get asked all the time about Chris. And I still have to answer that we still don't know anything. We are still on square one. We have no idea what has happened to our son.

Dave and I both lately have talked to each other about how we don't think he is alive anymore. It is hard for us to believe that he is alive and fine and just not wanting to let us know anything. I guess he could be alive and captive. It is hard to think that he is dead though. And the cycle goes on and our minds go crazy.

I have said dozens of times that I would rather bury him then keep going through this. If that is what has happened, I would rather know then keep doing this. I saw a mom the other day that had to bury her 18 year old daughter. She said "as hard as that was at least I know where she is." I sometimes think that I would rather do that too. Then we hear things like a few months ago that there was a body found on the mountain. And I just prayed please don't let it be Chris. I told Dave that maybe I didn't want to find him if that is the outcome. Maybe I don't want to give up what hope I have. I can't imagine knowing for sure that is what has happened. I tell myself that if that is what has happened and we find his body that at least every time we hear things we wouldn't go through the wondering and depression that comes with it. I don't know what I really feel. I know that I want my son home and safe. And I know that someday, somewhere, I will get to see him and hug him again.

I am seeing things again. Not often, but once a week maybe. I see what I think is a person and when I turn to look there isn't anybody there.

We had a great time being together with our oldest son. It was so good to see him. It is hard to have him so far away. It was fun to hang out and talk and listen and hug him. It really helped us get through the 18 month mark.

As always I can't thank you enough for all of your support and prayers. Even though I'm not here much it is nice to know that I have this place to come to and feel of your strength. Thank You!!

~Shannon

I know it's been a long time since I have been on. It is really hard to get on time after time and say the same thing. Even though a few small things have happened I just couldn't get myself to log on. I hate admitting that this is really part of my life. It has been 17 months, and it is honestly getting harder to handle.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayes. They have been felt.

We have had the juristiction of the case changed from the Enoch City PD to the Iron County Sheriff's Department. We feel that new eyes and a new perspective is going to be beneficial. (cross you fingers)

We are still working with our PI. She is an amazing life line for us.

We are still surviving. Real life keeps marching on. We are trying to find how to live in our new "normal".

Dave and I did get away for a week over the holidays. That was a much needed vacation. It was relaxing and we were able to just sit and breath. It was nice to be alone with just each other and have nothing that had to be done.

I'm sorry for going MIA. I'm not sure how often I'll be on, but I'll try to be better.

Thank you again for your continued support. It is nice to know we are not in this alone, that others still care about Chris and about us.

~Shannon

Name: Shannon
Age: 34
Height: 5'3"
Start Weight: 152
Goal Weight (by December 29): 144

1/12/08: 152
8/12/08:
15/12/08:
22/12/08:
29/12/08:

Total weight loss:

Thank you for doing this again!

I ran the next day and surprisingly felt great. My breathing, my heart, my legs all were fine. I was expecting more of a barely making it feeling.

Week five, run two: 36:30

I took a day off and then tried it again. I just could not get through it. At the 2.5 mile mark I decided just to walk. I was a bit surprised that my time was 39 minutes and change. I'm not going to count it. I was going to run today, but it didn't happen. So I guess I'll see how Monday is.

Yeah, I'm not alone anymore!!

Shaina, I'm glad you are doing this program. I have really liked it. I have started it a few times. I'm hoping to finish it this round. I had three kids in three years, and I totally abused my last pregnancy. I gained 40lbs or more and then I had this 6 and a half pound baby... hmm... I was wondering where the twin was for that kind of weigh gain.

I use this thread as my running journal as much as anything. So if I post a bunch of stuff noone else cares about, sorry. It is a good place for me to keep all my running thoughts and progress together and seperate from everything else.

Saturday I ran. I walked for two minutes then I started over so that my time would only include two minutes of walking for every five minutes of running. I need more then two minutes of warm-up before I start running. I again walked at 3.8 and ran (ok so it's jogging, but for me it's running!) at 5.4. I did not use an incline. I know I need to get back to that, but it really does make a difference and I want to get through this without dying.

Week four, run four: 37:34

I ran again today. I debated on doing week four again with an incline or move on. I deiced to try week 4.5 (run 6 minutes), but my first run felt so good I decided to just jump in to week five. I used the same speeds as always and walked a couple of minutes before starting.

Week five, run one: 36:29.

I was ready to collapse by the end. I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I kept telling myself, just go this much more then you can quit. When I would get there I would do it again. And I made it! Now that it's over I'm glad I did it!

Name: Shannon
Age: 34
Height: 5'3"
Start Weight:151
Goal Weight (by November 29):143

1/11/08:151
8/11/08:152
15/11/08:150
22/11/08:148
29/11/08:

Total weight loss: 3

I walked the first four minutes then ran five walked two. At the end I ran six minutes. I was tired, but I felt strong. My legs weren't heavy and my breathing and heart were great. I know if I was more hydrated I would do better. That is one of my goals now, to drink all my daily water!

Week four, run three: 38:01

Wow, I hope I'm ready to move to week five soon.

Name: Shannon
Age: 34
Height: 5'3"
Start Weight:151
Goal Weight (by November 29):143

1/11/08:151
8/11/08:152
15/11/08:150
22/11/08:
29/11/08:

Total weight loss: 1

I tried to run today, but I couldn't finish. Three minutes into the fourth running set I was too tired to run any more. I walked for a while but knew I just couldn't run. My legs were sore and I just felt tired. I think I may take tomorrow off from the gym and see how things go Friday.

I had a hard time running today. I didn't always run the five minutes. I was tired my legs were sore. I think they are sore from doing weights yesterday. I'm also still not sleeping well. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. I was determined to do it in under 40. I never want to see 40 again.

Week four, run two: 39:31

I'm going to run again tomorrow. Hope I feel better.

225/1250

Thank you time keepers!

Name: Shannon
Age: 34
Height: 5'3"
Start Weight:151
Goal Weight (by November 29):143

1/11/08:151
8/11/08:152
15/11/08:
22/11/08:
29/11/08:

Total weight loss: +1

I need to get back to logging my food. I'm back to the gym, but I need to also keep better track of my calories...

I did not use the incline at all today. I walked the first 4 minutes and then ran three, walked two from there. I did run extra seconds each time to try to make up for the two minutes of walking that I should have been running in the beginning. At the end I just ran to get it over with. I'm still walking at 3.8 and running at 5.4.

Week three run four: 40:08

I felt good at the end, tired, but still strong. I am excited to see how week four goes. I'm going to try to do it on Saturday.