Posts by theresa5656

I think I take a horrible picture.  I think I am attractive, smart and significantly overweight.  Some days the last one makes me forget the others positives in my life.  I am a mother and wife as well as a business professional, but lately have been wondering who I am and what happened to who I used to be.  Mostly because I got so big. 

Working on it every day and what I think changes. 

Repeating what has been previously said, I don't see how you can "force" someone to fix a psychological disorder.  I understand that many people feel that addiction is a choice, but I believe that it is an illness (and has been defined as such by the medical community) that has to be treated.   If an indiviudal is not willing to admit that they have a problem, how then is forcing them to seek treatment going to have an impact on them?  Many of us suffer from our own form of addiction (food, spending habits, CC) how would we ultimately respond if we were told to lose weight or else or health benefits would be denied. (which may become the norm anyway).  Would we even make a half-hearted attempt to become healthier or respond in another unhealthy manner.  How do you determine if you drink because you are mentally ill or are you mentally ill becasue you drink? 

Addiction may be a symptom and a cause of other psychological disorders.  In this day and age we don't focus enough on correcting the problems with the mental health community as a whole.  I do pay my taxes and don't always agree with where they are spent. I would willing pay a higher percentage of taxes if I knew that the money was being used/allocated towards healthcare (including mental health) and education.  I don't live under a shell and have pipe dreams of a Utopian Society, but feel it would be a great disservice to "force" rehabilitation on people.  I think the force would cause a greater harm.

Educating our kids about the danger of drugs and alcohol is a great idea.  How do you reach the masses to present the training.  We can't always reach kids to give them the basics, of reading, writing and math.  How do you educate those that don't want or don't care to be educated?  I think this is a circular argument that could go on forever. 

40 DDD here.  I would like them to get back to a 36/38 D, but other than that I am fine with them.  I wear suits to work, so jackets work great, but when out of work shirts tend to show cleavage (sometimes at work too).

Having large breasts has not kept me from losing weight, being lazy and careless has.  I find that losing weight enhances my breasts and I am okay with that.  I know that my breasts aren't me but are an extension of me.  If you are shallow and only see the breasts, then guess what we aren't going to have a great realtionship. 

My husband is a T and A man, even when I was thinner I had plenty of both to go around.  After 14 years of marriage (tomorrow is our anniversary) and two kids they are still high and firm.  Hubby still comments on them and dare I say, worships at the altar of bOObs. Old girl of 40 proud to have large breasts

I say guy pays.  I have never paid for a date.  Times may have changes while I have been married, but if you asked for the pleasure of my company (sarcasm) then you pay, and i put out when i feel comfortable doing so. 

Oh I know where the arena is, but I have misplaced my ticket. 

Hubby and I didn't venture into the sexual arena until he was ready.  Not me, no I was ready to go from the get go, but now that is reversed.  We skirted the arena for sure, but no "intercourse" that would be bad!!!!!

Vavila - I think I agree with you.  When we had our first date, in a non-group setting, it was assumed by us and our friends that we were a couple and weren't seeing other people.

Purespark - That makes some sense that it is emotional, but you still have an "official" talk?  How does it go?  Are they long drawn out conversations or short and sweet? 

Hmmmm..  I just called Hubby (he thinks I should stay out of the forums) anyway, he said that there was never a reason to have the talk or define our relationship boundries, becasue he would never begin dating someone if he thought it wasn't going to be exclusive.  So why do people start to date, and still date others?  Does this leave you with the ability to leave your options open?

I have gone out on dates with men, but didn't consider it dating.  Maybe I am way old school.  Do you think the baby boomer generation had exclusive talks? 

If you do have the talk, at what point in the realtionship do you do it?  Is there an emotional time frame or calendar time frame? Have I been out of the dating pool too long (16 years).  Not that I am looking to jump back in. 

I am not sure if there are degrees of cheating.  If something was done by one partner and it hurts the other person and causes a rift then it is cheating.  I think this has been said in some of the other replies. 

"cheating" is defined as an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others.[1] Cheating implies the breaking of rules. (from Wkipedia)  Soo wouldn't your designation of cheating be determined by your own set of relationship rules.

Kind of cheating, would then also be determined within the context of the relationship.....  My husband looks at woman and makes comments, do I consider it cheating, no; inconsiderate, yes.  I am not a touchy type of person, so if I am touching someone or being affectionate with someone other than my husband, it may be construed as kind of cheating. 

Wow, I fell violated.  I actually posted in my journal that I felt for these young girls.  Damn I am a sucker.  I would never think to check other threads.  Hmmmm

Agree with what has been previously written.  You are young.  You need to explore the "whys" of what you do.  Find out what is going on that makes you continue to repeat an unwanted behavior.  You have plenty of time to work on the reasons before making the full committment of marriage. 

If you truly love this guy you need to work out the issues. Marriage isn't a step that should be taken lightly.  Marriage requires work, trust, honesty, and fidelity to make a lasting bond.

Good luck. 

Edited to add:  You may also look at why you find it necesarry to refer to yourself as, " A lying stupid whore."  Sometimes we behave in a manner that is consistent with what we have been told/taught.  We begin to believe the bad and forget about the good in ourselves.  We begin to believe that repeating the "bad" is what is expected and accept the behavior as a normal part of ourselves. It is sometimes easier to give in then to change.

Amy,  good luck with the asking.  I agree that a job description would have been great to have, but even without it, make sure you highlight the extra contributions and work load you have taken on.  Showcase your talents and continuing support to the firm. Good luck

Jennifer - Sorry to hear about your job.  I don't have any words of encouragement.  Hang in there, good times have to be out there somewhere????

Spinach, turkey burgers, celery, turkey bacon, yogurt

The weekend was fantastic, high 70's here.  Today is a little rainy and slightly cooler.  Got the yard work done.  Can enjoy the upcoming 3 day weekend.

Vron082 -  Proud mama is kidna at a standstill.  I have lost 20 pounds and gone down in suit sizes (from an 18w to a regular 16).  I have been at a standstill for the last month.  Gained back two pounds but have taken them off.  I completed a 10K last week (I walked but my goal was to finish, which I did).  I am back on track and doing well. Doing this the slow healthy way does leave room for standstills.  I don't stress over them because I don't want to negatively impact my daughter.  Hoping to drop 10-15 pounds before July 18. 

Ellek - my daughters chest long ago outgrew hollister.  Right now she is anti-Hollister so no worries.  She is an academic (read proud mom not calling her a geek) and feels that worrying about clothes and styles is better left to the "preps" of the world.  She has been playing soccer for about 6 years and I agree they run off a lot of calories.  She plays on a coed team and the couch treats them all the same.  Pushups, situps and running a mile before each practice.  They are also required to run during the week outside of practice. 

I haven't updated on this in a while, but my little munchkin has dropped 9 pounds.  I am so happy.  She has been making great food choices and walking with me.  I know 9 pounds doesn't seem like a lot to those of us that are bigger than she is but for her this was great.  She has gone about this with a positive attitude and great outlook.  She want to drop about 7 more pounds.  I am fine with that.  She has no unrealistic goals or reasons for doing this.