Posts by aintgotwings

Original Post by cianderson08:

[snip]

Why not try saying, politely, that you are actually present there? Jokingly, and see what your reply is. If they laugh it off and say 'ha, it's you, though!' - do not take it personally that it has anything to do with how you appear, take it as a compliment that people can be so relaxed around you that they need not hide anything.

If guys can be that relaxed with you, just think how relaxed your partner would be! It would appear to me, that you have the qualities that would make a relationship last.

:)

sorry for the length!

That's a great way to put it :) I'm not sure how old you are, mgriep, but judging by my guy friends, I think most men go through a stage with their friends where they all do that, and sometimes it's almost like a contest to see who can act the most shallow - even some of the best guys in the world (or at least the best ones I know) do it, though others never grow out of it. So, assuming your friends are generally good guys except for this, it really is great that they're that relaxed around you, and they should respect you if you speak up.. Sometimes, when they go too far with trying to be shallow, a well-placed word from a girl they know & like has gone far towards bringing them back to reality. Things like, "Are you kidding me? I know that chick, she's awesome!" "Dude, that one's definitely not fat - I'd kill for those curves. You telling me you want a stick-figure?", etc., have put my guy friends to shame a little and made them remember that they think "real" girls are hot too.

Plus, that combination of making people feel comfortable around you, but also being able to speak up when YOU'RE not comfortable - cianderson is right, those are qualities that can help make relationships last.

Haha, now I'm sorry for the length. I've been dealing with hearing my guy friends say this kinda thing for years, so the subject is just close to home, I guess.

*edit* Armandleg's example is great. I really do feel like it's some deeply ingrained male bonding thing, not necessarily an accurate portrayal of how some guys feel, and the more shallow you act the more masculine your friends think you are (a few of my male friends have said this, too). Can any guys comment on this?

Ugh, I hate that.. it happens to me whenever I'm stressed, and the worst part is, sometimes I think some of my friends don't believe that I actually don't have an appetite. I'm not sure exactly what it's like for you, but when I feel like that, I literally feel like I will gag if I have to swallow solid food. One time it happened for two weeks straight (I didn't have a job, was home from college & really stressed about money, etc.), and I got so scared by it that I eventually found ways around it. I really can't force solid food down my throat at times like that even when I want to, but high-calorie, high-protein milkshakes or nutrition drinks, yogurt, soup.. sometimes those are easier when you lose your appetite.

Just a suggestion, in case it happens to you again.

All right dude, I've read your other posts, and while other people's comments concerning anorexia-related health problems were extremely helpful, thorough, and accurate, it's pretty clear to me that at this point in your young life you don't actually care about what you might do to your body as long as you lose weight. Cause when you're 14, you're invincible, right?

Consider this, then. You want to lose weight cause you want to look good, right? Here's the breakdown of how that's not gonna work if you continue to severely restrict your diet:

1. This is not a sustainable diet; you won't be able to keep it up your whole life, and then you'll be back at square one with no clue on how to eat well and maintain that weight loss - unless, of course, you actually want to look like a skeleton. Heads up - I can't think of anyone I know, male or female, who finds that attractive.

2. If you keep forcing your stomach to become this unused to food, any food you eat will start to make your stomach into a bloated, water-retaining mess as your body desperately clings to whatever nutrients you give it, and you will feel fat fat fat. This goes double if you start binging and purging - you may indeed lose weight, but your stomach will not be a pretty thing to look at.

3. Without enough nutrients - especially at your age, when you need more calcium - your bones will steadily weaken. I know you don't care about that - it's not like anyone can see your bones, right? Wrong. I have two words for you: rotten teeth. Why don't you google-image that and see how sexy you think it is?

I could go on.

Look, I know it's addictive to see the numbers on the scale go down. I know the feeling of self-control is like a drug. I know you're thinking about how much better you look/feel now than you did drop that first huge chunk of weight. But seriously dude, even if all you care about is looking good - start changing your eating and exercise habits before it's too late.

I completely second the suggestion someone made about huge servings of steamed veggies - since broccoli and cauliflower are high-fiber, they fill you up way more than you'd think for how low the calorie content is. I never put butter on mine anymore - just lemon, salt and garlic power - and I don't even miss it.

For me, the things that make me go over my limit quickly are breads, as well as high-salt junk and high-sugar foods. I get raging cravings for one or the other throughout the day, so I've had to come up with systems for dealing with that.

If you're someone who really likes bread products (toast, sandwiches, etc):

-use low-cal wheat bread - it's usually around 35-40 cals a slice

-All-Bran cereal - fills you up and is high in fiber

-mountain bread is great as a sandwich-making alternative (70 cals for one wrap)

If you're a sugar fiend:

-60-cal dannon light-'n-fit yogurts

-Swiss Miss diet hot chocolate - 25 cals per mug

-sugarfree jello

-half a mountain bread wrap (35 cals) + 1 tbsp honey spread on it (60cals)

-Make your own smoothies with fruit, ice, and a 0-cal sugar substitute like Equal. If you want it thicker or more flavorful, just spoon in a 60-cal yogurt! Green tea smoothies are also awesome - blend brewed green tea + ice + sugar substitute

If you can't get enough salt:

-steamed veggies w/ salt, lemon & garlic powder is a surprisingly satisfying alternative to salty junk food - and I say that about hardly anything.

-Miso soup. It's around 40 calories per bowl, and usually isn't too hard to find in supermarkets

-V8 - lowcal, healthy and amazing in every way. I get kind of sick of regular v* after a while, though, so I usually drink spicy V8 - which also makes a great low-cal soup base

My current favorite breakfast? Egg whites (16 cals each) with garlic powder, salt, and salsa. Sooo good.