Posts by lippygal

I urge you to take a political ideology questionnaire or some sort of test that will ask the appropriate questions in order for you to determine where you stand.  You may be surprised at what you learn, and I'm sure it will be an interesting topic to talk to him about.

I hear ya hotrebeccainmesa, I won't say never! I will continue to try to have an open mind when it comes to dating, because you can't really plan things out. Things don't just turn out the way you thought they would. My life sure hasn't so far!! Thanks for sharing.

Original Post by carrie317:

Original Post by se1289:

Another example. If GOd is a FORGIVING God..why does (and this is only 2 examples) he

1. Want to immediatly kill the isrealities for the Golden Calf incident, but later decide to just plauge them and scratch their name from the book

2. Have all these horrible things happen to David with the whole David and Bashiba incident ( raping of his daugther, baby dying, son being killed, ect)

Okay, I'll try and tackle this one too.  God is a forgiving God, but he is also a holy God.  Because every human being is sinful (no one's perfect, right?), and God, being a perfect and holy God, is not capable of being in the presence of sin, someone has to pay for that sin.  If God just "forgave" everyone's sin, that wouldn't be very just, now would it?  If someone commits a crime and goes to court, and the judge just forgives that person, that isn't very just, right? 

So, this is the problem.  God loves us and wants to have a personal relationship with us.  But he is holy, and we are sinful, and our sin separates us from God.  In Romans it says that the wages of sin is death, and someone has to pay that death penalty.  That's why God sent his Son, Jesus, to die on the cross to pay the death penalty that we earned.  That's how He demonstrated His incredible love for us.

Edited to add:  I realized that I kind of left out the end of the story here.  So Jesus died on the cross to pay the death penalty that we all earned for our sins, but you have to accept Him as your Savior and Lord in order for that sacrifice to cover you.  It's like God's holding out this free gift of grace, but as with any gift, you have to accept it before it belongs to you, right?  God gives us free will, so He's not going to force us to accept His gift of salvation.  I don't know your spiritual background, and this may all be old news to you, but if it's not and you have more questions or want more info, please feel free to message me :).

 Carrie your explanations are beautiful. I couldn't have said it better myself.

No, I don't want to date anybody who is divorced.  I am not a better person because I am not divorced. I want to be with someone who is at my stage of things, this is important to me for many reasons. I want to have this one thing in common.

I don't understand why you get all worked up over it. Who cares? Brush it off.  Smile and say thank you even if it didn't exactly sound like a compliment. You will probably notice your mood improve if you do that.

You are not thinking rationally about this situation. Instead of letting him have it for even SUGGESTING adultery with a prostitute, you actually considered it, and decided it would be GOOD for your marriage.  Now that this decision has proven to be a big mistake, you state that you do not know what to do? You go online to an internet forum for advice? Take a step back, lady, clear your lenses and look again at this situation. 

WHAT DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD DO? 

you just wanna be startin somethin

Back in the early 90s we used the word poser to describe a person who would try to be something they're not...and I think that word is hilarious, cause its old school now. lol

Original Post by aksnovak:

Original Post by lippygal:

Original Post by azirra:

Engagement rings seem old fashioned and completely optional to me. I guess if you're really into following traditions and you want one then it becomes a big deal, but rings hold no correlation to amount of love or commitment in a relationship. They are inanimate objects - I dont understand why people think of them as being magical love indicators.

It's not a 'magical love indicator'.  It is merely a symbol of the committment to be wed. 

That is like saying a diploma is a magical indicator of intellect. It's not. It's a symbol and certification of the completion of your formal education.

Honestly, I am surprised at most of these responses.

I have two diplomas for my bachelors and am working on another one, and believe it or not I couldn't care less for those pieces of paper. Don't even know where they are.

 I hear ya, but regardless of whether you can find all eight of your degrees or not,  the point I was trying to make is that wherever they are, they are not magical indicators of your intellect. They symbolize the completion of your education in a particular field at a particular college or university.  Likewise, the engagement ring is not a magical indicator of love, it is a symbol of a decision or intention, if you will, of a lifetime committment of love.

citizens of humanity - expensive, but just what you need

And never, ever, EVER throw denim in the dryer. Might as well throw them in the trash.

Ok, the answers to the first couple questions are good. If they are indeed true, then you should have no problem answering the rest of the questions after you talk to him.

Remember, this relationship is a choice. You don't have to put up with anything that makes you uncomfortable. NOBODY gets to tell you what you should and should not be comfortable with. That is up to you, and if this is not what you want he needs to know that you are not going to put up with it. Beware, if it comes down to that, and you tell him, and he keeps it up, then he will know he can get away with it no matter how many times you try to sit down and have a talk with him. So then your words would have less value. So, I urge you to use them wisely at first.

There is so much wrong with this situation I don't even know where to begin. 

Original Post by pgeorgian:

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

The ring is the symbol of I PROMISE to marry you, instead of just discussing.

i couldn't disagree more.  the ring is a remnant of a tradition in which women are property to be bought, paid for, and marked for other men as unavailable.

i don't get any of it.  if marriage is important to you, go get married.  the whole engagement process, the showers and stag/ettes, the months of planning and spending for the big wedding (and especially the gifting) seem outdated and irrelevant to me.

 Really? I don't look at it that way at all. All of the events you mentioned have a special significance to me.

Original Post by azirra:

Original Post by lippygal:

Original Post by azirra:

Engagement rings seem old fashioned and completely optional to me. I guess if you're really into following traditions and you want one then it becomes a big deal, but rings hold no correlation to amount of love or commitment in a relationship. They are inanimate objects - I dont understand why people think of them as being magical love indicators.

It's not a 'magical love indicator'.  It is merely a symbol of the committment to be wed. 

That is like saying a diploma is a magical indicator of intellect. It's not. It's a symbol and certification of the completion of your formal education.

Honestly, I am surprised at most of these responses.

Erm...note that I was arguing against the notion that rings are love indicators - not for them being love indicators.

Marriage is a symbolic act of commitment. Engagement rings are a symbol of marriage. Rings are therefore a symbol of a symbol. Promise rings - aka "pre-engagement rings" are a symbol of a symbol of a symbol. All of the pomp and circumstance surrounding marriage (ring, dress, cake, etc) have nothing to do with the real elements of marriage (mutual respect, communication, etc.)

Im not bashing people who want a ring. I am arguing against the idea that they are "needed".

 Well then, I apologize if I misunderstood you.

I want fries.