Posts by waycat

Interesting thoughts.

I often lie in bed at night not being able to sleep through worry about my low weight and associated health problems.  I resolve to start again in the morning and really make the best effort to eat properly.

However, in the cold light of day it isn't so easy - and I'm afraid I never get off to a good start despite my resolutions the previous night.

Sometimes I think I need a good kick up the whatsit to wake me up!

Original Post by rebelchick1017:

 A normal person will probably consume more calories in lesser frequency because they are not concerning themselves with the caloric content of what they are eating.

Just wanted to nip in here and pick up this point made by rebelchick.

You are so right in what you say.  I am always comparing myself to other people, my husband in particular and if I seem to be eating more than him in a day then I hate myself for it and beat myself up over it.

Then I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that my husband is (a) not a recovering ED-sufferer like me, and (2) nowhere near as active as me, and (3) is about 1.5 stones overweight himself!!!

Also, he is not in the slightest bit intersted in calorie counting, so consequently he eats far more calorie-dense foods than I do - many foods that are still currently on my danger list.

I wish there were more hours in the day!

I exercise every day (naughty, slap me on the wrist, but it's something I'm working on with the help of a counsellor), run two businesses so do all the bookwork and accounts for those, have two teenage boys to cater for plus a husband, a 4 bedroom house to keep up, a garden, shopping, cooking, etc..... I guess it helps that I have OCD so I don't need any extra motivation to keep myself busy and occupied.

I do find myself obsessing over food now and again during the day, and at night too which is a pain because it sometimes stops me from sleeping.

I think the suggestion of voluntary work is a good one - it can also be very fulfilling for you, knowing you are helping the local community and keeping yourself occupied at the same time.

Good luck!

It's so good to read some good news - many congrats to you!

I'm insanely jealous now - but in a nice way of course!

Original Post by chrissy1988:

why did you resist the 2nd one? wouldn't have been a greater leap to feed your desire for a second one? i hope your entire breakfast wasn't a single granola bar but congrats on overcoming that obstacle just make sure that you don't compensate for eating a fear food by restricting throughout the day. 

ED voice I'm afraid Chrissy - it told me one was enough and two was greedy.

I could have kicked myself later in the day because I know a second bar would have been a great leap forward.  You'll be pleased to know I didn't restrict during the rest of the day, but I was conscious of what I ate - which was bad of me and weak in that I had given in to my ED for a day instead of ignoring it.

It wasn't my entire breakfast - it was my pre-exercise snack, and I had a proper bowl of cereal after my exercise, so I don't suppose that was too bad?

I'm off out for a coffee with my mum later today, so who knows I may be tempted to challenge myself again and conquer a fear food?  I know my mum for one will certainly encourage me to do so!

I had all four of my wisdom teeth taken out at once, about 4 years ago now.

I remember existing on pureed fruit (so no warnings about excess suger for me), mashed potato, mashed banana, etc...

It was hard enough because I was right in the middle of my strictest restricting period, so I'm afraid to say it took longer to get over the surgery than it should have done, and it was literally months before I could pluck up the courage to eat solid food again, even thoughs strictly speaking I was ready.

I did lose weight then - even more!! - and I remember my mum commenting on the fact that I gotten even thinnner.

Sorry to sound so negative izzyy, but that was my personal experience.

I can't add any more suggestions to what has already been posted here.

Just wanted to say good luck - and just think how much less pain you'll be in when you have those last two teeth out.

Original Post by izzyy23:

I try not to look at the little numbers anymore (during ED I'd freak if I ate more than 2g), but I looked at some of my recent food logs and I rarely exceed 10/11g a day...

I don't think I eat even that much izzyy.

The trouble with me is I don't calorie count enough or pay enough attention to what is in the food I eat.  I just steer clear of "danger" foods, although I mst give myself a bit of credit in that I'm not as bad as I was.

It's all part of the long road to recovery I guess!

Great links meryl - very useful indeed.

I recomend everyone to bookmark them to keep referring back to.

Original Post by merylwhite1:

That's a big misconception. People with eating disorders usually like food as much as the next person. They might have become afraid of it, but that doesn't stop them liking the taste of food. Most people with eating disorders think about food a lot and many obsess over it... not eating doesn't mean someone doesn't love food or isn't thinking about it.

Meryl, you are so right.

I enjoy the taste of food (OK, not all foods, but then we all have different palates), but often the actual thought and act of eating fills me with utter dread - even if it is something I enjoy.

Sometimes I realise that all I've thought about for the last hour or so is my next meal and how I'm going to cope with having to eat it - obsession creeping in there, I think.

I would like to thank everyone here for their comments and input - it really goes to show just how many of us have similar problems regarding weight gain and how much support we can give each other.

Stop worrying myself into a stupor each time something passes my lips and goes down into my stomach.

Calorie count more religiously - but obviously with a view to GAINING instead of losing.

Eat more full fat cheese to increase my calcium, protein, ..... and calories of course!

Try and relax at mealtimes - I usually sit down, look at my plate and say "Do I really want this?"  I was told off rather abruptly by my youngest son when I said this last night!

Abbi, you took the words right off my keyboard with your post.

I couldn't agree more - it is a long hard slog and not something that can be done easily of quickly.

I also have episodes of crying, particularly if I've eaten what I consider too much.  I guess it's my underlying fear of gaining weight (or too much weight) that makes me feel a certain loss of control if I eat what I feel is too much.

Excess bloating and tummy tenderness has long been a problem for me, both now in recovery and also when I was really ill and severely restricting.

It's difficult for me because when I have bloating problems I have a mental block and am convinced that I'm fat all over, so I'm afraid it makes me eat even less.  Vicious circle that seems to have no end.

However, I second littleshellys' recommendation to drink peppermint tea.  The warming effect is lovely and soothing.

Well, my mum made a rich fruit loaf for my son's 15th birthday yesterday.

I naturally refused a piece yesterday which didn't surprise anyone.  But last night, after we'd got home from my mum's, I got on the phone to her and promised her that I would have a piece today.

And guess what?  I did just that this morning!  Only a thin slice and I didn't dare put any butter on it (that will have to come later....) but I had the cake and boy it was SO delicious!  My mum has aways baked a mean cake!

Can't wait to tell her when I phone her later this evening!

I absolutely swear by Eat Natural cereal bars.

Packed full of nuts, seeds, rice, honey, dried fruit - all natural and all very delicious.

At about 200 cals a bar, they are a great thing to have as a snack.

Thank you Meryl - your kind and encouraging comments are much appreciated.

Butter now - what next I wonder??!!  The world is my oyster - although I don't like oysters, but you know what I mean!